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Wild Zontars


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Oct
31st
2014

"I accidentally the whole country" · 5:19pm Oct 31st, 2014

or: "How to Create the Democratic Ponies' Republic of Equestria Without Even Trying"

[Warning: this post contains unmarked spoilers for Divided Rainbow up to Chapter 33, and for Into the Hedge up to Chapter 8]

bolt-on (n): a feature of a setting that only appears to support some plot idea without its implications being followed and propagated to their logical conclusions and natural integration with greater society.

The problem with forgetting to consider all of the possible implications of plot devices on your story's world-building is that some of your pesky fans will feel compelled to do it for you. And then they'll complain. Loudly. In this case, I'm going to complain about Divided Rainbow by Mike Teavee, one branch of the Xenophilia AU, and its spin-off Into the Hedge by BadWolf9510.

The thing that drew me to the Xenophilia AU was the world-building. What could have been a simple HiE clop story with some idiosyncratic social elements was developed by a group of writers into an entire alternate history of Equestria which, if you squint a bit, could actually fit in with just about everything we see in the show. They've tackled everything from the history of the Crystal Empire to the fate of the Changelings. And then along came Divided Rainbow, which wanted to answer the question "what if Twilight was part of a committed relationship when the events of Magical Mystery Cure took place?" This spun off a side-story, addressing the events surrounding our human's arrival in Equestria.

Unfortunately, both authors decided to include certain plot points which, due to their supporting structure, warp the world we know and love into a ponified North Korea.

I've complained before that Mike's Celestia is something of a tyrant and an incompetent, who doesn't adequately consider the ramifications of her decisions. Recent events have caused me to realize that this is actually part of a larger pattern, and that she's been damaging Equestrian society itself. The rest of the world is powerless to help, because she controls no fewer than three weapons of mass destruction. Sound familiar to anyone?

The problems began over a thousand years ago, just after the first failed use of Starswirl's failed spell. Celestia and Luna were partially swapped (creating a massive plot-crater of its own), resulting in a Solar Tyrant and a Lunar Rebellion:

Historical moments flashed by in fast succession; Celestia imposing more rules, curtailing freedoms, and micromanaging her subjects’ lives. Curfews, restrictions on travel and employment, regulations on many aspects of business, and setting up new layers of bureaucracy between her people and herself. When they came to the Night Court to petition Luna for relief, the younger alicorn happily granted it... only for a furious Celestia to clamp down with even more punitive restrictions.

[...]

They saw rows of posters, some of a stern image of Celestia, that read "OBEY," while others had slogans such as "Strength Through Purity Through Celestia."

Starswirl's half-assed solution to Celestia and Luna's swapping merely stabilized them rather than undoing things, leaving Luna with her Nightmare form, and (presumably) Celestia with her authoritarian tendencies.

Around the same time, we learn that the Sun is also a massive death-ray, and the Moon is a stargate, capable of reaching anywhere. Given that the rest of the world had no way of knowing that the Elements of Harmony had become unusable, that leaves Equestria with three super-weapons of varying yields. Over the next thousand years, Celestia rules over Equestria single-handedly.

During this period, Celestia systematically covers up the actual events leading up to the founding of Equestria and Luna's banishment. She has always been Princess of the Sun, and all the unpleasantness was Nightmare Moon's fault. Events like Nightmare Night and Hearth's Warming allow her to spread propaganda full of half-truths and blatant falsehoods. Eventually, the real story is known only to Celestia and Luna.

We also know that, under Celestia's rule, living conditions in Equestria either stagnated or regressed. While the elites in Canterlot and Manehatten live in luxury, the rural areas are quite dangerous. Ponyville, although within sight of Canterlot, is continually menaced by monsters of every variety. Despite this, there is no functional military or Guard presence. Areas further removed from the elites are even more dangerous:

"I think it's just a weird coincidence... Manenonite names just happen to be similar to most human names."  He thought up another question.   “Are Manenonites monogamous, Fluttershy?  You mentioned just ONE mother and father...”

“Oh, no, no, NO!” she was quick to assure him.  “Our customs are a bit different from most ponies, but we’re not WEIRD.”  She paused.  “Inkie and Blinkie always said there used to be two other Mas in our family, but they both... passed away, long before I was born.”

“From what?”

“Ennui,” Fluttershy told him.  “It’s a very dangerous, contagious affliction in the part of the world where I grew up.”

Lero waited for her to laugh at her own punchline, waited for her to say ‘Gotcha!’ But that didn't happen.

"Hold on, Fluttershy," said the human, "Didn't you say that you were the youngest of four daughters? I only counted three, including yourself."

Fluttershy blinked several times. "Oh yeah! I'm forgetting my oldest sister, Maud... but we hadn't brought her into the family yet at that point in time."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean," Fluttershy explained, "That Maud had lived alone with her mother in a smaller rock farm just two miles from our own. We were next-door neighbors! Pa and Maud's mother had been good friends for many years, long before I was even born, and he'd often go and pay visits to her house! Usually, late at night. When Maud's Ma finally succumbed to her own ennui, Pa brought Maud into our family and made her a Pie, and Maud and I've been bestest sisters ever since!"

In an in-character Q&A session, the issue was handwaved as being entirely the Pies' own choice, even though they hated the job. Apparently, we're expected to believe that Equestria's entire rock-farming industry is made up of suicidal sado-masochists.

Technological skill also stagnates or regresses. Magical techniques are forgotten or classified, as are building techniques, materials science, weapon-smithing, and just about any other field you can name. Most innovations are clearly designed by creatures with fingers, presumably the Minotaurs, which have been seen to use human-style audio-visual technology. This raises the question: what happened to Equestrian culture?

While the ponies of Xenophilia are biologically inclined towards herd-mindedness, all the major characters we meet are capable of independent thought. The "background ponies", however, are much less capable. Given that so many of the troublemakers are foals, it would seem to follow that much of the group-think is a result of continuous social conditioning, and our protagonists are simply among the ponies where the conditioning didn't really take.

Unfortunately for Equestria, not all of the independent-minded ponies are nice, leading to serious internal security problems. Criminals are able to acquire access to black magic and banned technologies. One criminal gang was able to set up shop on the outskirts of Ponyville, install weapons of mass destruction, and abduct half of Twilight Sparkle's family without being detected. Only after the available Bearers were engaged with the criminal gang did any government forces intervene.

The techniques used by government security forces are also problematic. Rather than using simple magical or chemical incapacitants, they use psychological torture:

Weeping gas could be thought of as the polar opposite of an antidepressant. It induced depression -- a truly crippling level of nihilism, self-loathing, and general malaise -- in anypony who breathed it in, both chemically and magically.  It incapacitated most beings, rendering them unable to resist arrest.

In addition to suppressing knowledge and dissent among the common ponies, Celestia also rejects criticisms from her advisors and nominal co-regent. Even after Luna's return, despite her history and accomplishments, Celestia is unable to see her as an equal:

Her eyes were full of such sisterly caring, it made Luna’s heart ache. Yet, at the same time, those eyes also showed patronization. Lofty underestimation. In those eyes, Luna ranked somewhere above a convicted criminal who’d served her sentence dutifully, and a beloved child with deep-seated socialization issues.

Celestia then proceeds to ignore or overrule Luna's objections, and sends Twilight Starswirl's unfinished spell. Despite being a victim of this very spell, she gives Twilight no special instructions, no warnings, and won't even tell her what it does. The obvious danger to her family and community is completely ignored. When things inevitably go wrong, rather than helping Twilight fix the problem, she orders Discord to re-write the memories of almost every being in Equestria. Rarity has always been a weather-mare!

Due to the obvious repercussions of re-writing everyone else's memories for Twilight's sanity, a select few are spared and warned. They of course petition Celestia and Luna for help, to no avail. Luna had been against the idea from the start, but Celestia won't even consider her objections, as she recounts to Twilight's mother:

"My sister does not feel she can afford the risk," Luna replied. This time her voice was genuinely quiet, almost too quiet for Star to hear, though the ringing in her ears didn't help matters all that much.

"The risk? Did she spin that 'all of Equestria' bull pucky–"

"That Equestria is at risk from this information was never in doubt, Star Sparkle. We both–" Luna turned away, snorting and growling all at once, her hooves tramping on the cold stone floor. "It is information that threatens our very nature."

"That tells me plenty all by itself, 'Your Highness,’" Star grumbled. "Why don't you tell Twilight?"

Luna's head tilted back and she stared at the ceiling, an odd little smile playing across her lips. She rolled her eyes toward Star and raised an eyebrow. "Would you take that risk in my position? While it is extremely unlikely to come to that, I do not relish even the possibility of another exile to the moon. She is stubborn, she is not easily angered, but this..." Luna shook her head. "I cannot convince her. And I dare not take the issue into my own mouth. It would– it would not end well."

"Fine," Star grunted. She rifled through the memory of her spellcraft and settled on the old family favourite. "If you can't convince her, I will."

That attempt fares little better:

"So. I assume you're responsible for Luna's little–"

"Yes, I am, no, I didn't threaten her, yes, I am here to change your mind. Can we skip the pleasantries and get to the point?"

Celestia's brow raised again. She poured a glass of water and raised it to her lips, then paused, frowned and lowered the glass again. "The point?"

"Twilight needs something and you're hiding it from her."

Celestia's eyes narrowed. She swirled the water in her glass and stared at it as she spoke. "You must surely be aware that there are some secrets that cannot be told, no matter the cost."

"I'm aware that I would never tell anyone how to find the secret stock of gin in my office," Star replied. She sidled over to the table and Celestia's side. Smiling just a little as she poured herself a glass of water, Star let her eyes wander over the brightly decorated walls of the throne room.

"The location of your drinks cabinet does not have the potential to plunge the entire world into a new age of darkness."

"Nor would keeping it hidden drive my daughter to madness," Star replied quietly, wandering across the room to the foot of Celestia's throne. She sat down on the step and glared at Celestia. "This isn't one of your games, Your Highness. Twilight's sanity is at stake and right now that's far more important than some hypothetical risk that she might get ratted and blather your silly little secrets to the newspapers!"

"I trust Twilight to reach the correct solution in time."

"Really." Star stood again, leaving her water on the step as she circled the dais. Her eyes wandered to the throne itself and for a moment she paused, smiling, before continuing her path. "If you trust her so much, why are you hiding the solution from her?"

"What information I choose to reveal to Twilight is not your concern, Star Sparkle," Celestia replied. Her wings flexed and eyes followed Star closely as she climbed the steps toward the celestial throne, but the princess made no move to stop her. "Who are you to tell me otherwise?"

Feeling a sudden heat in her belly, Star whirled to face Celestia, her eyes blazing. "I'm her mother, you manipulative, self-righteous... princess! I may not be the best parent, in fact, I know I've been a terrible one, but she is my only daughter. My own flesh and blood! Do you understand that? Can you understand? You sit up there with her licking your damned hooves for a few years and that makes you think you have the right to drive her insane?"

"That is not–"

"Did you ever think what would happen if she did lose her mind? Hmm? Or did you just decide to ignore the consequences of what you did to her when you gave her that stupid spell book?"

Star sat down right at the foot of the throne, raising her chin and gazing down on Celestia. "You're supposed to be the one who sets events in motion centuries before you need them. You, Princess, are supposed to be able to see problems coming decades before anypony even realizes what's going on, but you seem to have neglected that foresight of yours this time. Did you ever stop to consider what might happen if that dear daughter of mine did go truly insane? My dear, beloved daughter who is so powerful that she nearly blew Canterlot off the side of the mountain when she was a filly and could probably mind-bend the entire country into worshiping her dock if the mood took her? The filly who you fear so much that you've placed wards on your throne room specifically to block her magic?"

"If you're going to start throwing around conspiracy theories–"

"Oh please," Star growled. "I can see them as clear as day."

To demonstrate the point she let a flash of magic flow from her horn and spread around the room to reveal a filigree of delicate spellwork embedded in the walls. It pulsed with a lavender light before disappearing again.

"She wasn't the only magical prodigy in the family," Star said, lidding her eyes a little. She stared at Celestia and then tipped her head briefly to one side. "I just had more practical ambitions."

"Be that as it may..." Celestia's voice sounded steady as she replied, but there was an undercurrent, a very slight tremor. Her wings fluttered again. "We are not discussing a filly's private diary or a secret crush. The information you wish divulged has implications far beyond anything you could conceive. It is hidden because to reveal it would threaten the the stability of our entire world. It is a secret because it must be. I cannot reveal it. Not even to Twilight."

"So the secret stays secret, my daughter goes mad and the world ends anyway, is that it? And they say you're a benevolent ruler."

"I sincerely believe Twilight Sparkle shall find a solution long before there is any risk of your overblown fantasy becoming a reality," Celestia replied. She took a step toward Star, her wings flaring briefly. "This secret shall remain so. Forever."

"Your Highness, no matter how hard we may try to hide our secrets, there's a strange quality about them."

Star stood up and kicked out at the throne. A door popped open beneath her hoof, until then so perfectly hidden that even a detailed search wouldn't have revealed it, unless the searcher knew exactly what they were looking for. It swung wide as she pulled her hoof away. Star leaned in and extracted a small bottle and tumbler, pausing a moment to hmm at the extremely pricey label. She popped the cork and poured herself a drink, then turned to Celestia and raised the glass in a mocking toast.

"They tend to be found out."

Celestia's authoritarian and secretive nature goes even further. When the CMC are abducted and taken to an alternate reality, Luna joins the rescue mission, against Celestia's wishes. Celestia then proceeds to suppress all knowledge of the incident:

“Captain,” said Celestia, drawing back his attention. “I know these past few months have been… difficult, but-”

“Difficult does not begin to describe it, Your Highness,” he interrupted. “My tribe’s patroness, your own sister and fellow diarch, has gone missing along with half of the Elements of Harmony, yet at every chance I get to gather resources or personnel to look further into the matter, I suddenly find my efforts hindered. Reports have gone missing, ponies are suddenly reassigned, funds are diverted to ‘more pressing matters’. Your sister has vanished from the face of Equis! Why have you not-?”

“Captain,” fumed Celestia, her voice taking on an unnaturally firm tone. “I do not like what you are insinuating-”

“I am ‘insinuating’ nothing, Your Highness. I am laying accusation. I know that that worm Bound Volume answers only directly to you! Ever since you sent him to the Alpha Site, he has made a concentrated effort to suppress everything we tried to accomplish. Classifying the reports is one thing, but completely destroying them and all of the evidence retrieved?”

The truth of the matter was far more extensive. The Department of Internal Affairs had launched investigations on every member of the expedition. The soldiers, the academics, even the doctors and the zebra shamaness. It had been going on for months. When Night Song had begun to put the effort into raising the issue again, every one of the academics suddenly found themselves too busy or unwilling to help. High Tenure even had the gall to say that he couldn’t ever recall going into the Everfree in the first place.

Truth Seeker, the stallion who was involved in the horrible accident at the site, had been placed in a hospital to recover from the ordeal. But just as he had been making progress, enough that he may have even been able to fully describe what happened to him, Night Song found out that he had a sudden breakdown and had been transferred to some government facility that the Captain had never even heard of.

Even among his own Night Guard, he found problems. Night Shade, Hammerfall, all the others that experienced the strange dreams in the aftermath of Truth Seeker’s experiment, were suddenly ordered to go on leave for ‘psychological evaluations’, an order that was instituted by the new Captain of the Royal Guard that went directly over Night Song’s head. Upon returning, they had become extremely tight lipped about the whole experience.

It was only Night Shade, a stallion that Night Song held as close as a brother, told him about the matter. They had all been interviewed by Bound Volume himself. The unicorn pressed them on every detail imaginable from their experiences, writing everything down in a metal-bound book. It had gone on for hours with each interviewee. At the end of it, he had, in no subtle terms, threatened each of them with full discharge from the guard along with evidence that would completely discredit them.

Clear Water, Arcanus’s own assistant, had come to Night Song directly when she found herself being followed. He offered her his protection and the two had begun to investigate on their own. That is until Clear Water found her home and office broken into and all of her materials stolen.

“This is irresponsible, Celestia. Very important ponies have gone missing and may need rescue, yet any effort to do so has been derailed. How do you expect us to open another gateway and find-”

“That’s quite enough, Captain,” said Celestia, her tone carrying the finality of the matter. “I will not risk our world anymore than it already has been by outside forces.” She affixed the thestral with a glare that would have melted concrete. “Since you seem determined to pursue this matter, allow me to make it completely crystal clear to you.” She walked forward and Night Song found himself under her imposing gaze, the weight of it.

“There will be no more interviews, no more research, and no more experiments. I am forbidding any and all investigations into the matter. This not a request. It is my royal decree.”

We are left with an unpleasant picture: as a ruler of a nation, Celestia is an incompetent in a position of absolute power. The cult of personality centered on her exists only because she has continuously re-written history for the past thousand years, and her subjects simply don't know any better. She blunders from crisis to crisis, relying on her underlings to fix things for her, then destroying all evidence that anything went wrong. If it weren't for her control over the Sun and several super-weapons, Equestria would be a complete non-entity at best, and would likely have been conquered or wiped out long ago.

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Comments ( 3 )

This is hardly unique to Mike's writings. Nor is it unique to MLP:FIM. David Brin had the following to say on the subejct. You might find it informative:
http://www.locusmag.com/Perspectives/2013/01/david-brin-our-favorite-cliche-a-world-filled-with-idiots-orwhy-films-and-novels-routinely-depict-society-and-its-citizens-as-fools/

Though I agree with you about the two major side-arcs the main plot has wondered down. Do Not Want is putting it midly. :fluttershysad:

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Oh, I'm well aware of that. I even pointed out in the comments that things are sliding towards a second-order idiot plot. This was just a golden opportunity to use Mike's story as an example of the problem, and show how the implications spread throughout the story to touch on things it was never meant to.

Once again you point out the glaring failings of this story. Kudos

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