" -The Hat Mann
The Cynical Brony: Episode 9: "Smile HD Review" · 1:30pm Oct 31st, 2014
... I hate this thing. I hate it more than anything I've reviewed. Yeah, I hate it more than The Crystal Empire. Yeah, I hate it more than Cupcakes! I even hate it more than Rainbow Factory, that's how much I hate it! If someone made a power plant that's powered by hatred, my hatred for this video alone could power the entire multiverse for the next billion years! Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I really don't want to review this.
Oh, look. It's Davey Time. Yes, I'd like to introduce a new segment to the show. "Davey Time" is the show where I review the continuing insanity of the "artist" Mr. Davey. I put that in quotation marks because his works are so disgusting, calling it art would be an insult to Van Gogh, Shakespeare, and every other great artist.
BUT ISN'T THIS A BIT LIKE LINKARA'S "MILLER TIME"?
Yes. Mr. Davey is to me as Frank Miller is to Linkara. Anyways, on this show, I'm going to be reviewing Mr. Davey's works, everything from "Derpy's Prank" to "Princesst", starting off with what I believe to be his worst work: the one, the only, the infamous, Smile HD. Here's you review: it sucks.
Okay, I'll go into the specifics as to why it sucks. First, some back story. You see, when I first saw this... thing... I was not a Brony. My newly revealed Brony brother said he wanted to show me something that, and I quote, "Will make you smile,". So, as someone who was not a Brony, my reaction was basically, "What the actual fuck is wrong with these guys?!" It, plus Cupcakes, got me to avoid all things pony. Fast forward a few months, where a young, closet Brony is looking around the web, trying to get into contact with other Bronies. I had completely forgotten about that video from months back, and clicked on a little music video. I then remembered Smile HD, as it burned itself into my brain. It would haunt me every time I watched an episode of MLP, and I wanted it to stop. Cut to one month ago, when I tried to rid myself of that tainted song. I decided exposure therapy might help, and I watched the video. It didn't. In fact, it made it worse.
Here's one of the reasons I hate it, and I don't even have to start talking about the video yet. It ruined the Smile Song for me! I hadn't watched "A Friend In Deed" yet, so that was my first exposure! Now when I hear it, I cover my ears and eyes in the vain hope that I might stop seeing that damned video in my head. I was only recently able to get over my fear of Smile HD, but replacing that fear was complete, raw hatred for the video and it's creator. Enough stalling, let's get into the video.
Okay, so the video starts with Mr. Davey stroking his own ego like it was his pet cat. He put his name in big letters, apparently very proud of himself. To Davey: What cause have you to feel glad? You built your life on sinning and causing pain! Also on the credits is Foozagz. I haven't heard much of his music, (only "Together" and the remix played in this) but he seems talented. Such a shame he let Davey use his skill to use pointless gore in a vain attempt to disturb the audience. After the credits, we see Pinkie running through a field. She has the creepiest smile ever, and we cut to AJ, Rarity, and Twily having a picnic. Twilight turns and sees Pinkie running at them, and waves. Also, I found a use for the emoticons!
"Hey Pinkie! Just leave your character at the door, Mr. Davey wants gore."
So, Twilight goes for a brohoof while Pinkie jumps in the air and prepares a punch. Then she kicks Twilight's head off.
1. I really hope this doesn't become a thing at Bronycon.
2. What's that, Sally? You really like Twilight? Boom! She's dead now! Now you can have your very own Twilight Sparkle head soccer ball! Also, those eyes are fucking disgusting. Pinkie smiles at her dead friend's decapitated head, and she's officially entered the World Ender Test! There are four categories: Crush. Kill. Destroy. Swag.
DIDN'T SHE ALREADY DO THE KILL CATEGORY WITH TWILIGHT?
No, that was essentially putting your name on the paper before starting the test. This is the actual test. So, Applejack and Rarity are of course horrified by Twilight's rather violent death. So, now that she's begun the test, Pinkie needs to crush at least one person, after that kill 3 more people, and blow up the Earth. We've begun! Pinkie just demonstrated the crush category using Rarity's head. That was a nice little fountain, wasn't it Derpy?
EH, I GIVE IT A 6. DIDN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH.
You're no fun, you know that? Oh, Rarity's your favorite Tiffany? Too bad! She's a fountain of blood now! Mwahahahah! Don't look so sad Rares, you'll at least get a quick end. Wait, what the Hell?! Is Applejack smiling?! What is wrong with you!? Why are you smiling at your friend's death? I'm a fucked up guy, but seriously?! Anyways, next is to kill three people. Blam! Nice kick, Pinkie! Look at AJ's bounce off the tree! Now you know what your orchard feels like, you inbred idiot!!! 
We cut to... oh no. No, no, no. Let's just skip this part here-
CYNICAL! YOU MUST REVIEW SMILE HD IN ITS ENTIRITEY!
Please, I don't want to see Dash die again!
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU MUST.
Damn you, Davey... fine. We cut to Dash flying in the sky, with her shades on. Then she sees what's happening down there. She flies back, and comes roaring in with a sonic Rainboom kick to Pinkie's face! Dash is best pony, Hell yeah! Pinkie gets sent flying, and this shot of her ear is disturbing. Apparently, Davey thinks there's a "kill-o-meter" in Ms. Pie's brain. Must be a gore-o-meter in your brain, Dave. Oh, who am I kidding? You don't have a brain, you're just an animal with an everlasting bloodlust! We cut back to Dash helping AJ, and my gut's already sinking for what's about to happen. Pinkie turns into Goku for a bit, and incinerates Applejack. Kami, hami, haduken! That's one dead... let's make this bit quick. I really don't want to talk about it, but here we go. After just dodging the laser beam, Pinkie head-buts Dash into orbit, kicks her down to Earth, and... I need a moment.
Thank you. As some of you might remember, Rainbow Dash is my favorite character of MLP. In this, she gets the worst, most painful death possible. I promise I'm not going to let this keep me from making jokes, but I just needed to prepare my self. Then again, considering I murder people, I don't see why I'm so disturbed by this. When Pinkie lands on Rainbow's body, all of her intestines and organs come out from her mouth and nose. Give me five minutes, I need to empty my stomach. Okay, feeling better now. Dashie's your favorite, little Timmy? Well, go enjoy that sight of her organs pouring out of her mouth! Another one bites the dust!
Fluttershy...? No. There has to be at least one survivor. Please, run! Get Celestia, or Luna, or Hell, get Discord! Get someone to save you! Oh, Pinkie did a mini-spirit bomb. Nevermind, Fluttershy's dead. *sigh* Come on guys, let's just-what the Hell?! What?! What?!! Oh my God, Fluttershy not only survived, but is beating Pinkie to death! Holy fuck, look at her go! Wow! After Fluttershy becomes Superman, a very mad Superman, Davey changes it to where Pinkie grabs the text and beats Fluttershy half-way to death. And here I thought we were going to have something interesting. So, Flutters is bleeding on the ground, and we see Pinkie... oh my God. She's doing the full on Spirit Bomb. Burning Fluttershy face is disturbing. Lastly, Pinkie blows up the planet. Okay, let's go over the check list: crush? Check. Kill *3? Check. Blow up the Earth? Check! Oh, wait! She failed her test! She didn't complete the swag portion of the test! Sorry Pinkameena Diane Pie, but you have failed!
Thank God, it's over. Final thoughts: Though I kept the ranting to a minimum, this is the worst thing I've reviewed. Anyways, I'm The Cynical Brony, and happy Halloween everyone! Rest in Peace, Elements. 
Credits:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Lauren Faust and Hasbro Inc.
"Smile HD" by Mr. Davey
"Smile Song Remix" by Foozagz
"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen
"Danse Morialta" by Kevin Macleod
"Ending Theme" from MLP:FiM
Images:
"Several Days Later" picture from SpongeBob Squarepants
Also, how is anything in the video possible? I know Davey doesn't care about logic, but still.
Every time Mr. Davey's videos get a view, eight puppies die and Jesus cries.
I wonder how the Mane 6 would react to this video...
awww but i actually liked that video and cupcakes was what got me to watch mlp but im a very disturbed person so my argument is invalid lol
2565979 Did you like the review?
2565981 yeah i did .....but i couldnt help my self so about half way through i just sat there saying..........good let the hate flow through you lol
2565986
Glad you enjoyed it. Now, I have to take five showers to clean my self of the filth that is Mr. Davey.
2565988 now matter how hard you scrub you will never be truly clean -input evil laugh here-
Wheres flutters in that last pic? .3.
2566943 She doesn't have a body to bury.
Technically neither does Applejack, being dragon ball Z'd into oblivion x.x which makes me sad.
flutters, Aj, and RBD are tied for my #1 fave pony T.T
2567039 Ah. My favorite's Rainbow Dash, followed by Discord and Luna.
My top favorite is luna. With the prev mentioned tying first.
Question: if you hate Mr. Davey's work so much... than why isn't he on your enemies list? Also, nice review. Really hated Smile HD, and it really sucks that it's one of the only action MLP animations. Cheers
2828377 He's not on my enemy list because while I do think he's an immature jackass, I've heard he's a pretty nice guy in person. Also, thanks for following me, and I'm glad you enjoyed the review!
Cupcakes nearly got me to quit the show. I stayed away from anything to with it for a long time after reading it. I wasn't really a hardcore fan then (then again, I'm not really now) so I found it easy to shy away from MLP:FiM.
2862730 You had it easier than me. I found it BEFORE I was a fan, so that made me refuse the fandom for a long time.
2862778 I'm surprised you still became a fan after that.
2862980 Thank Mr. Enter and Voice of Reason for that. :D
2863230 A fellow Mr Enter fan too! Did you know he's on FimFic?
2864710 Yes.
I enjoyed this review.
2893246 Glad to hear!
Kool! I shall check this out.
2896967
Boop.
4371358 Yo. Bit of an old review to comment on out of the blue.
4371494 Oh no. I THOUGHT I WAS ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE! To the rabbit hole!
At least the scumbag got what was coming to him. And he abandoned his Rainbow Factory animation and has stated he’ll never touch MLP again. Good riddance.
4788894
A little surprised anyone still reads these, it's been so long.
4788899
Couldn’t stay quiet when it comes to someone calling out Davey’s travesties for what they are. Thank you for taking the time to denounce it for the embarrassment it is.