The Languid Decline of Twifight · 12:40am Jun 17th, 2012
In response to the DELUSION THAT IS this UTTER WRONG-FROG.
"Whaddaya think that means?" asked the janitor peering through the mailbox-sized slot that would be a curious feature for a door had the door not been found in this particular building. "Who's this Twilight pony, anyway, and why's she all, y'know, full'a emotions at the end'a the story? Also, whaddaya think she means by 'to be continued'?"
A pair of eyes joined the janitor's as both of them looked through the food slot into the cell. On the other side, a room much like every other room found down this wing was decorated in the tradtitional padded, white walls and not much else... except this one had a story scrawled all around it like a sticky brown tattoo.
Normally, for a janitor, anything sticky and brown found within one of Merryhill Mental Hospital's 'self-protection cells' was simply more work to be done, but in this case... it was art. It was a piece of work forever smeared across the quivering box that enclosed its near-permanent resident, and the cleaning crew of the Hospital never had the heart to remove it. Over time, it simply became a feature.
"Well, Sweeps," replied the night-shift security guard. "I dare say it means that she intends to continue one day."
"But it's been months. Y'think she means t' actually continue after so long?"
"Who knows how these ponies work. They're a mystery to themselves as they are to others, Sweeps."
The janitor pulled back, away from the hole and retreated back into the hall, where he took up arms and started mopping the floor as was his duty. "Well, she's runnin' outta space. Don't see anyplace else she gon' continue that tale. An' I don't think I like where it's headin' anyway. I ain't one for them soppy love stories, and this sounds like it's headed that way, y'know?"
"Oh, don't try to understand the insane," replied the guard. "And come on, is that really the first thing that concerns you? I mean, look at the title. 'Applejack is NOT best pony'. You know that's why she's in here in the first place, don't ya?"
"Nah, I don't, really. I just... clean the floors, man."
"Yeah and I just beat them down when they try to break out, but you know. Them doctors leave their files everywhere. Weren't you ever curious?"
"I..." muttered the Janitor.
"Oh come on, it ain't hurtin' anypony."
"I never learnt to read," concluded the cleaner.
"Oh. Right." The guard's eyes suddenly found something interesting crawling around on the floor. "Well, I could just tell ya."
"Well, that'd be downright nice."
"They dragged this one in... wait a moment, if you never learnt to read then how did you read the story?"
"Compulsive liar."
"Oh, ok. Anyway, they dragged this one in kickin' and screamin' off the streets about how Applejack's NOT the best pony and how she's terrible and horrible and gets up to funny business with her cousins. It weren't nice."
"She was screaming that in public? She crazy?"
"Yeah," the guard shrugged. "That's the point, ain't it?"
"Yeah," agreed the janitor.
"File says she's deluded. And there's a bit of a weird mix goin' on in her head. Somethin' like how she loves Applejack so much that in her head it twists and turns and becomes an object of her hatred or somethin' like that."
"I never did understand them fancy doctor talk."
"Well, it's like, look at this, y'see?" The guard pointed to the plastic name-plate that identified the room's owner. "Twifight Sparkill. What a name, huh?"
"Yeah, always wondered about that. Same name as the one in the story. Bit different though. full of... death and hate and things."
"Well the doctors did check it up, and turns out that there's a 'Twilight Sparkle' pony or somethin' like that who knows Applejack. Close friend too, one of the closest. Maybe even best friend. Seems t' me that this TwiFIGHT pony reckons to be some kind of... stand in for the real one, if you know what I mean. Sees herself to be Applejack's best friend."
"That's deep."
"Yeah, and they also found out that all her life she spent her time worshippin' Applejack, as any normal pony would, of course. But then that day... that day."
"Whut day?"
"She was at the annual Buckin' of the Apples festival. You know. And everyone was all gathered 'round to see her kick the first apple off the Fall Harvest, and I guess the whole sight of it and all that just kinda' cracked her. Doctors say she realised that day she'll never be able to understand that she couldn't be Applejack's best friend and started going off the rails, and calling herself this 'Twifight' thing."
The janitor nodded, leaning on his pushmop.
"And that's really about it. Ain't that long of a story, but poor girl, she's deluded. They call it appleshock, you know. There's a condition for when Applejack's magnificence is so great that ponies just downright go nuts."
"Appleshock, huh? I can't say that's the best name, I don't think."
"Well, y'know. It's just a name, Sweeps."
"Well I mean, you could be a bit more creative with it, innit?"
"Like how?"
"I dunno. Appleload. Like a mix between Overload and Applejack."
"Apple...phage," the guard threw in.
"Oh, I got it, I got it," the Janitor stamped the ground with a determined hoof. "Like... a feelin' so overpowering and awesome like an explosion from the inside, and somethin' to do with Applejack? Applejaculati-"
"ANYWAY," the guard cut in. "I ought to get back to work. Nice talk, Sweeps."
"Yeah. I best be moppin' up this dander too. Dander all over the place. Why's there so much dander in here and where'd they get it from anyway?"
"Who knows. Hey, you wanna meet up later? Drink and a donut or something?"
"Yeah, wouldn't mind. You buyin'?"
"Whatever. After work. I'll meet you at the donut shop in the main square. You know the one, right?"
"The one next to the statue of Princess Applejack?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"Alright, see you there, stallion. See you there."
I have no frame of reference for what I just read but I think it was a story about Superman taking up planking as a hobby.
178608
That is EXACTLY what it is about.
But no, AJIBP, someone else decided to write a story illustrating this clearly to me (link at the top of the post) and this is my retort.
Once retorts turn into short fiction, you know I'm in trouble.
We have the truth right here.
Y'all better believe AJIBP.
178661
The comics really are more amusing if you realize that Superman planks a lot and Batman owls a lot.
But yes, AJ is definitely one of the best pony. 10th best in fact
178924
Does Spider-man not truly conquer all by being able to perform GRAVITY-DEFYING UPSIDE-DOWN OWLAGE?
And yes. AJIPB. If there is even a slight tinge of sarcasm or doubt in your tone I shall be FORCED TO WRITE A MINIFIC ABOUT YOUR OC.
178980
Not debating AJ's amazingness, but somepony just got a website.
www.scootaloo.com
178986
Oh. OH. OHHHH. Oh. OH. You are asking for it. You are asking for a flank-bucking so hard that your nose will bleed candy for the rest of your life, because I put candy in my horseshoe that I then will use to BUCK YOU IN THE FLANK REALLY HARD.
Also what is this, how is my personal hatred for Scootaloo suddenly so legendary?!
EDIT: If that was random, then you actually could have fooled me. I wouldn't be surprised if someone had told you my weakness just so you could throw that... thing... in my face. >=\
EDIT EDIT: Oh Colt, I'm shaking now. Sco...ootaloo... Why...
178994
How can you actually dislike Scootabutt? I can understand her not being anywhere near your #1 favorite, to like her to a lesser degree than others. But to actually DISlike her? Imporsriburu! (Also yes it was a coincidence, I had no idea you harbored resentment toward Scoota "Best CMC" loo.)
We must begin the conditioning!
LOOK AT THIS!
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQk0LBRUYZDgZZEAwaBrrt2zpr6Vr92Wj2I5LZqCFcGy8scBYrVSA
Good... Good.
Now here's a picture of just Applejack:
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQdnSgGVGwi4tgEWDQ7Fm52ztpfUGr-UI27eLLsp8xbM7ScTdht
179018
I dislike her because she was meant to be disliked. I love her. I actually do. But the shame that comes with liking her as a character is so great that I have no choice but to projectile vomit all over the room everytime I consider the notion of giving her any place in my tiny, cold grinch heart.
There was nothing I wanted more in Season 2 than a really nice solid Scoota-centric ep which showed her family and her life and her being and her personality; to give her a bit of development and give her something that I could finally attach myself to and say, yes, Scootaloo IS best CMC (which is arguable, because Sweetie Belle is best CMC because of her dynamic with Rarity, which again brings us back to the original problem which is that Scoots was simply never given a chance).
Essentially the problem is the cause. She has has no development. Her life is a mystery. I want to love her but I can't. I cannot love a blank slate. I cannot hug a brick. I cannot love a barrel of creme-based tea flavouring without any tea for it to flavour.
She is a dialogue dump. Of the three crusaders, she remains the one that every single writer of the show gives lines to when it doesn't fit the characters of the other two. She says things that the other two shouldn't or wouldn't. That compounds the problem. That makes her even less of a character and less of a caricature. It makes her the discard drawer. It makes her a thing that I would hate to love.
And as you can see, I am torn. Torn between loving her and hating myself for it, and hating her and hating myself for it.
There is no way to win...
With Scootaloo.
And that is why she pisses me off so much.
179020
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/024/183/500pxShopped.jpg?1318992465
179021
I can definitely understand that viewpoint.
She does have very little character development, but if you ever need to question her character worth, imagine the CMC without her.
All her failings have nothing to do with her character or characterization, it's all act of "god". Hasbro are the ones that took away her sister (Dash wasn't "nice" enough to have a little sister). Hasbro are the ones that keep her from flying (the scooter's just too marketable). She's otherwise a completely competent and in fact much more interesting character than the other CMC (Sweetie had 1 good episode, otherwise has nothing but voice cracks going for her, AB is a complete nitwit which is her best quality overall), they just refuse to focus on her because her only 2 easy access features were nixed in the name of the status quo. She is a prisoner of her own amputated and lobotomized characterization. But I'll still slap a dress on her sextiplegic flank and wheel her to the prom.
179047
I do. Constantly. =)
But honestly, characterwise, and in truth, I don't hate her. I just am saddened by the prospects. Although to be completely honest, I don't entirely agree that she's more interesting per se, but only because I see each of them with their own values (or lack thereof). I actually really really love the dichotomy between the relationships of the sisters AJ and AB / Rarity and Belle, and how different they are, and the voice cracks isn't really why I like Belle either. Although... it helps. Bloom really also does remind me of a younger, much more enthusiastic Applejack. She's a strong voice and a clear leader of the troupe for her level head as well as enthusiastic fronts. And Belle is.. um.. well.. uh...
OK, maybe it really IS just the voice cracks. But colt if they aren't adorable.
I actually like to think that Scoots is better without RD being her sister, too. She's pretty independant, and I can see her being her own pony. But for crying out loud, let's see SOME of her family, Hasbro!
And certainly, don't mistake my tone as a finger of blame pointed at HER. I blame marketing. I do blame Hasbro. I can't say they're doing anything that I wouldn't already expect of them, but the character suffers for the mistakes made in the real world.
Nothing we can do but dream.
And write fics about them.
But for now, she remains my kryptonite, for she makes me long for better days.
179071
But that's why Dash would make a GREAT sister for her. She'd pretty much let her be independent and do her own thing.
Anyway, the reason I like Scootaloo isn't as a character. I basically agree with you there. I like her as a person. Real people you meet won't be providing you with fleshed out backgrounds or insight into familial relationships. You just need to judge them on who they are and how they act.
179080
I agree with you on that point. But I guess I feel two couplings are enough. I'd rather have them be best buds or something like that. Having Scoots be her sister might (not necessarily WILL, but might) downplay that big old crush she has on her. I'd like to think that one of the defining reasons for Scoots to be apart from Dash is so that she can continue that hero worship.
For me this relationship is the 'just slightly out of reach' annoyance that everyone has, and it's nice that it's played down in this little cute way.
Oh and Scoots definitely has her station set, yeah. But after 2 seasons, still. I feel the need to get to know her. It's hard to connect with someone who always puts up a wall, and I guess this is what it feels like with her, for me. She keeps everyone else at arm's length, through no fault or decision of her own, but it's none-the-less just as frustrating. I hope, I do hope, she will get a shining moment in Season 3.
Also, I really REALLY want Twist and chubster from the schoolhouse to get together.
179088
You know, this might mean war. I am SO continuing that story! IN IT'S STICKY BROWN GLORY.
179092
I'll throw Duri at you.
179088
I completely agree. Except on the last bit. No comment on that.
My issue with Scoot and Dash (even the names are thematic) is how incredibly painfully obvious the evidence of a closer relationship was in Season 1. The CMC accidentally coming together during the Summer Sun Celebration, Scoots tagging along behind Dash like a puppy during the meteor shower, Dash coming backstage with Rarity and Applejack after the talent show, the parallels drawn between Scoots and Dash at the end of "Chronicles" (Scoots brought the CMC together by being the one to come to Apple Bloople's defense).
In Season 2 it's backed off to a more realistic "long time fan and admirer" dynamic that treats the interactions as more casual and less heartbreaking.
I honestly think hearing how Scoot's and Dash's family ties were severed from each other because of marketing standards was the single worst show related FiM moment for me. Derpygate and Shining Stu don't even register in comparison.
179101
It was probably lucky they didn't really set anything in stone in S1 then, despite it all being heavily implied. Although, now that you bring it up, I'm reminded that I always did see Scoots as the 'enforcer role' of the typical 3-person dynamic in most literary or television trios, which is essentially what Rainbow Dash is as well (To elaborate; the enforcer is the character who reacts in hightened emotional states to plot points to further a device or scene). A lot of parallels sure can be drawn indeed.
But overall I wouldn't MIND if she wasn't the sister of Rainbow's. I can accept the dynamic they set up without the need for family ties. What's just troubling is the constant slow downplay that she's had since Season 2. Even in background roles you can see she's being squelched, and the Hearts and Hooves episode by FAR is the worst case of 'dialogue dumping' that I've ever seen in a CMC ep.
To be honest though, I hadn't heard that the relationship was purposefully severed. I just figured since they didn't outright say it from the start, they hadn't decided yet, and they just slided to a 'no' eventually. And just to digress a bit, I wasn't that unhappy with Derpygate. I felt it was kind of silly that EVERYONE was overreacting, regardless of reason or purpose. Obviously someone's gonna call that stunt out. It was pretty inevitable. And I never understood what the deal with Shining Armor was. Sure, story coherence and sudden family member drops aside, it was a pretty awesome ep. I can suspend my disbelief sometimes, right? =)
Single worst moment in FIM history for me?
Was when they callously abused character typesets and ignored everything for the purpose of a very incredibly badly written, potential-filled train mystery episode. The 'train mystery' ep of Adventure Time by comparison was a gazillion times better, and THAT one purposely made even LESS sense. That's bad, yo.
But yeah, Scootpain. Portable toilet. I'm tellin' ya.
One day, though. One day. Her story will be reconciled. And it won't matter if she's related to RD or not, because I truly believe there are strong ties found in any kind of relationship. Also, if it's for marketing, why are her freaking dolls so rare?! Damnit, Hasbro! Send more to my country, damnit!
EDIT: I am giving Twist and Chubster a new hollywood name. Twubster. GO TWUBSTER!!!! GO!!!!
179109
Well it was more a creative decision from Lauren Faust and the team, but it was based on Hasbro's standards.
179117
Well I'll give this a look through, but inital scanning already put me in agreement with Faust's initial disseration of the too-many-sister dynamics =)
But now to dinner, so I shall see the world later. Thanks for the link and the discussion! Ta~