Sep
29th
2014
I don't know what to do. · 1:31am Sep 29th, 2014
I guess that Emerald feels like it's going downhill. I feel like the story is bad. I thinking about ending it and replacing it with a story of the same concept, just a different way of telling it. I don't know. However, I think that this might be a good idea and unless anyone has anything to say about it otherwise, that's probably how it'll be. Sorry for all you who like it, but if you have a reason to change my mind, say it.
My advice if you feel you've like you've done all you can with the story than end it but give it a proper ending, if you feel like there's still more to tell than continue. The most important thing is that it's your story and you should be proud of it but if you feel like you should reboot it, That's your decision. You can't please everyone, me personally I think you should do what's right by you.
If you think you've done all you can, or that you don't like writing it anymore, then there's no shame in moving on. If you still like the idea and think it's salvageable, you can restart or revise parts of it, or keep going. If you have enough interest in the story to tell the conclusions to the various problems, then write an ending, and I'm sure there would be those appreciative of the extra effort.
That being said... I didn't particularly like Emerald, (I was a thumb down.) Sorry.
But I was interested in seeing the reasons behind several characters (mostly Rarity's) motivations and seeing where it went, even if I had a bad feeling about that, so I was still reading it. If you'd like I could tell you what I do not like in detail, ideally as helpful criticism, and help if I can, but I don't want to impose, especially if you are already feeling bad.
2517407 Yeah, some advice would be nice.
2518861
One of the major reasons I didn't like it was because I didn't like the characters the narrative liked, and liked the characters that were vilified. Spike, a character I usually sympathize with heavily, was played as a needy loser. Rarity's treatment of him, her callous discarding of him, treating her other former lovers like they're amazing and Spike like he's chopped liver was apparently played as being reasonable of her because Spike's a needy loser anyway. Not to mention she either lied about something extremely important (to all those involved, since fathers are very important to raising a child) or cheated on him, and Twilight was vaguely sympathetic to Spike, but the general consensus seemed to be "Rarity doesn't need to tell Spike anything, it's unreasonable for him to demand answers," when... it really isn't. I guess the long timeskip makes it somewhat unreasonable that he might not be over her.
Like I had said previously, her motivations for this, and whatever reasoning you used to make her being played as sympathetic for her terrible behavior was one of the reasons I was still reading. I just wanted to know how it ends.
I understand this is a comedy, and part of comedy is exaggerating a situation to make it absurd, but that situation did not seem absurd. I tend to find the "man is a loser, woman is a saint, even though she did awful things to him and his only crime is wanting more from her" situation painful, not funny. Advice wise... either make it more clear Rarity is being unfair, and give Spike some ground to stand on (like allies that are angry at Rarity, or a portrayal that he's capable of action beyond emotional outbursts and criminal actions. maybe being able to do genuinely noble and impressive things) if he's supposed to be sympathetic. If not, you're not going to make a fan of me anyway unless you really work at making Rarity's behavior sympathetic and Spike's attitude unsympathetic. I am not a fan of that sort of comedy though, and others find it acceptable or hilarious, so take my suggestion here with a grain of salt.
Emerald seemed... I don't know what her personality is beyond when she was threatened when she grew this confident smugness and attitude that anyone that opposes or hurts her family is stupid. I didn't particularly like this personality, and it didn't seem like she had a lot of personality beyond that (although she did have some). I just have a hard time getting into her head.
Like in this latest chapter, she's supposedly enjoying the games at the carnival, but she doesn't seem excited to see Thunder, or nervous around him, or excited to play the game or see Luna. Her reactions are very subdued, and she is occasionally snide but doesn't seem like she's enjoying herself... Is she just a very placid child? Are her deadpan reactions to many things intended to be comedic, or are her deadpan reactions unintentional? Does she have a lot of experience watching Rarity break up with guys who then get clingy so when she sees Spike she thinks "oh well, more of the same"? What's the reason she's so unflappable?
My recommendation for that is to think a bit more on what she's like, what her life would make her think and feel like... and trying to use a scene to convey parts of that.
You might already do this, though. I don't know how much you think about your characters or how in-depth they are in your head, only what's conveyed on the page. If you already feel like you know these things, try to have the scenes express those more seriously and with a bit more detail. While entertainment is the primary purpose of writing, so being funny or dramatic is important, characterization and plot are the tools (although not the only tools) you use to create that that humor or drama, and keep a reader interested in where it's going.