Ten points to whomever knows what this is without looking it up. · 10:20pm Sep 24th, 2014
I was wondering if anyone knows how to tell if someone suffers from types of depression, specifically cyclothymia. In an effort to judge if I suffer from depression, or if I'm just being dumb and seeing problems where none exist, and all the online tests say that I likely suffer from moderate to severe depression, but it's not constant. To know more, I took a few to judge what type of depression I have, and those said I wasn't likely suffering from depression specifically, but rather bipolar, or more likely, cyclothymic disorder. I looked it up, and the symptoms seem to line up quite well, but I can't tell if the symptoms are situational or not.
The symptoms are most evident during school, or when I'm really stressed out (so, most of the school year), usually when I'm falling behind. So, I'm not sure if it's because I'm stressing out that I'm getting so down or not. Thing is, the symptoms start up at the same time usually, sometimes even before I start slipping. One of the effects that this often has on teens is that it causes their grades to plummet. I don't know if that's what is happening to me or not. Am I feeling depressed because my grades are bad and my mom is angry, or are my grades bad because I'm depressed?
I was wondering what you guys think. I don't know if I'm cyclothymic or not, I haven't said anything to anyone about it yet, but this could be the difference here between needing treatment, and needing to suck it up.
In other news, a girl at my school's GSA club was complaining about her friend, a guy, refusing to let her do his makeup, so I offered instead. She's bringing it on Friday, and I'm so excited! Though you wouldn't know it from looking at me. I hope she doesn't go too overboard...
Paramedic in training, at your service!
I do know what that is, because I've been told that it might be my issue as well. Then again, I've been told plenty of things and none of them are concrete yet.
The thing is, Zhe, that even if it's "not depression" and it's "just" cyclothemia, that doesn't mean you don't need help now and then. You might not need the same kind of medication or as much therapy, but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone either. If you can, more power to you; if you can't, you know what to do.
As for whether you do have either depression or cyclothymia, I can't say. It's hard to tell until the swings get worse. Whatever it is, though, I'm sure you can own it and live life without it ruling you!
I don't know much about cyclothymia disorder (aside from that my brother might have it), but I can tell you a couple things that might help your problem, on a basic level. First of all, take what the internet says with a grain of salt. Second, I suggest you look at what you are doing in your life and really ponder if it makes you happy or not. And I mean real happiness; not just enjoyment or pleasure. That probably won't fix your problem, but it may make you more prepared to handle it.
My depression and manic behavior stemmed from a variety of factors, from feeling insecure, stupid, uncool, and weak with my friends, to constant struggles with my parents and siblings, as well as a yearning for things I couldn't realistically have or were against my views. I also have difficulties focusing, and schoolwork was (and is) always an issue. Now, I have greater perspective. I am rather geeky, and my friends didn't identify very well with me, and me with them. It wasn't because I was stupid or something. I have trouble focusing, but I have an usual and bright mind. I also may have Asperger's Syndrome, or something of the sort. It doesn't matter to me. I didn't want a diagnosis because I want to change the way I am, not be medicated. However, the biggest thing that helped me and lifted me up is my faith. I know you aren't particularly religious, if at all, but that's the truth. It has given me a sense of who I am and where I am going.
l find that a bit of perspective is very helpful. I have much less trouble now that I've been out of the house for a while and have a job and met new people and tried new things. My brother I mentioned also has less issues now that he has been in public school for a couple years and has gained a new measure of experience. So try to go new places and meet new people. It helps.
I encourage you to try and help yourself instead of bumbling around the medical field. The way you live has a lot to do with how you feel. So think about your life and what you may need to change. You may need to simply press on for now.
This probably isn't best suited to you, because I don't know what your struggles are and how you live.
Sorry it's honkin' huge. I try.
2481035 I don't want medication, even if I do get a diagnosis. What I want is to talk to a counselor, or someone who can help give a diagnosis or lack there of. If I do suffer from this, I'll continue talking to him about it, covered by insurance of course, and work out ways to cope and recover. If not, then I'll talk to him anyway and find out what the true cause of my discontent is and solve it.
2480957 So far, I'm certainly not owning it. Assuming it's there at all, it's owning me. And I know that, even if I'm not suffering from this, I still should probably see counseling, if bad grades, extremely dysphoric attitude, and suicidal thoughts are of any indication. What I really want to know is which is causing the other, are the feelings a reaction to the stimuli, or am I letting something drag me down? Or does that even really matter?
2480908 Whether you're a paramedic in training or not, I'm just glad you're here. Thanks, Zoe. You're one of the biggest things holding me afloat right now.
2481091 Good! Try your darnedest to make it work.
2481108
It's likely a bit of an ouroborous, or maybe a mobius strip. Your mood feeds your insecurities, which feed your mood, which feeds your insecurities... The only way to break that cycle is to change what feeds your mood or insecurities. You're well on the way to dealing with your dysphoria, but that's going to be a long, tumultuous process with as many tears as smiles... It'll aggravate things a bit at first, most likely, but in the end you'll be happier than ever. Maybe getting this sorted out and talking to a therapist will give you enough peace of mind that you can put more focus into your schoolwork, which will alleviate it even more... Baby steps, hon. Fix things one at a time, not all at once, and you'll be back to your old fantastic self in no time!
I agree with BBOFF about one thing in particular, though: It will be scary at first, but once you leave school, move out of your parents' place, and take charge of your own fate, that sense of freedom will almost definitely help. It's what brought me out of my darkest days. I realized that I didn't have to do anything because my parents or teachers or peers wanted me to; I could do it because I wanted to, because I deserved a good life. (Pride helps too, haha.)
But when you have suicidal thoughts, just remember us... Remember all of those whose lives you've touched, and changed for the better: Zoey, the Twidash Army, me... random ponies who need an ear... You've done a lot of good in the short time you've had so far. You can take what you've done here and spread it to your town, your country, the rest of the world! You can be absolutely brilliant, hon, and don't you ever forget that. But if you do forget for a moment, then just come here and we'll remind you.
Group hug, everypony?
2481157 I do think about you guys when suicide enters my mind, mostly about how I'd set up a will of sorts to have whoever finds it know that I want them to get on here and let you all know I was dead...
...
...wow, that sounds way more depressing now that I say it out loud.
I'm don't really know much about those thingamajigs you're talking about, but if you get stressed you might just need to schedule some time out to relax, hang with friends and just do non-stressful things.
and why not have some more owl city.
One- I absolutely love your new avi!
Two- It sounds to me like you do suffer from moderate depression, but you speak to a psychologist regularly, right? She/he would be the best person to make that determination. Just know that this doesn't necessarily mean you'll be on meds like I am. Your psychologist will most likely try something called "Behavioral Health" first. Basically, it will help you to improve your sleeping patterns, eating habits, and emotional health through behavioral change to reduce the symptoms. After at least two weeks of this, it will be up to you whether you thing you should be consulted for anti-depressants or mood stabilizers.
Three- I love you, Zhe!
*hugs* Skype me next time you're feeling girly enough to wear a skirt. I still want to see that! 
2481854 Thanks. It was either this or crystal Zecora. Coin flip chose this. And I don't have a psychologist. I have a school counselor, but I haven't talked to him much about anything than my gender identity. We were supposed to talk yesterday, but he got caught up in a meeting. Though that behavioral health sounds great, like it may be just what I need.
Lastly, I'm almost always girly enough for skirts. I love them for some reason. Their so comfy! Thing is, I don't want to be seen in one unless I've shaved. I don't get a lot of time to do that.
2481947 Well next time you shave then.
I bet you're adorable in one. 
Are you growing out your hair? I feel bad that I encouraged you to shave it, good cause or no. 
Sometimes, it's the small, insignificant little details that make big changes in our moods. Humans are fickle creatures.
Maybe your councelor knows a thing or two about it. It wouldn't hurt to bring it up in your next meeting with him. 
2481956 That was my plan. Our talk was rescheduled to tomorr-er, today. It was originally supposed to be about time and stress management, but I'm gonna make it about this too. And it was my choice to shave my head, not yours. If I remember correctly, you even said I didn't have to.
I need more skirts. And scarves. Heck, I just need to throw out most of my clothes and refill my closet!
2481988 Her eyebrows. Zecora's eyebrows make all the difference in your avi. I love it so much! I can't stop staring!
Eh hem... Sorry...
Lol. If you change your wardrobe so drastically, I want before and after pics!
Good luck with the meeting today. I hope it goes well. I want to meet your gf, btw. Any girl that's good enough for you must be an amazing person.