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bookplayer


Twilight floated a second fritter up to her mouth when she realized the first was gone. “What is in these things?” “Mostly love. Love ‘n about three sticks of butter.”

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Sep
22nd
2014

How RariJack is the Most Romantic Ship in MLP · 5:37pm Sep 22nd, 2014

In my last post, I called RariJack a “grand passion” rather than an eternal flame. Merc the Jerk requested I elaborate on that. But as with FlutterDash, RariJack’s beauty as a romance rests on all the ways it doesn’t work. And since in many ways it fails in a grand and spectacular fashion, when it works it’s an absolutely epic romance

First, lets talk about that grand and spectacular failure.

Rarity and Applejack fight more than any of the mane six. Three different episodes feature an outright argument between them, and two of those were in season 4. When Applejack and Rarity fight, you can’t miss it. There are demonstrations of how right they are, personal jabs, and costumes; they will both go to extreme lengths to win an argument. The only other pair that comes close to this are Applejack and Rainbow Dash, with two season 1 episodes where they butted heads, and the brief bickering in the S4 premier.

The difference between the two pairs is communication. Applejack and Rainbow Dash fight from a clash of pride and ego-- one of them blames the other for something, and the other can not or will not admit that she’s wrong, so she escalates. They both understand what the other is saying, it’s just wrong. This means the fights usually remain verbal and/or sane-- the fights in Over A Barrel and the S4 premier were heated words and narrowed eyes, while the fight in Fall Weather Friends was (logically) supposed to be settled via competition, and only escalated within the competitions.

This is not the case with fights between Applejack and Rarity. All the way up to Trade Ya, one or both of them has no idea what the other is even saying. They think they know, but if asked to summarize what the other was mad about, or what she wanted, they’d be way off. This results in situations that keep escalating in almost random directions as one or both of them tries to grasp at or show what’s really wrong.

You can see this in play even when they’re making up in Trade Ya-- each gets the other a peace offering based on what she thought the other wanted (a rusty pan, a piece of jewelry just like ones she already had) and not what they really were looking for (a more efficient pan, a more prestigious piece of jewelry.) They only hear what they want to hear, even when they’re trying to do something nice. This comes from a lack of understanding of each other. Rarity and Applejack aren’t even fighting with each other, they’re fighting with their own image of the other and what they’ve imagined she’s thinking, which is usually revealed to be demonstrably wrong.

Based on Simple Ways and some incidental things like the “good things are better when they’re a Rarity” line, I could make an argument that Applejack understands Rarity better than Rarity understands Applejack. This makes sense, Rarity is exactly what Applejack tried to be in Manehattan. She couldn’t be that, but she at least understands why a pony would want to try it. On the other hand, in Simple Ways Rarity’s view of Applejack’s lifestyle is downright insulting...


Might be my favorite pony picture ever.

Anyway, the problem with this is that it’s going to lead to arguments where it’s going to be a lot harder to compromise, because anything one of them suggests is likely to be miles off from what the other thinks the real issue is.

The second problem is that underneath that, they have a problem worse than AppleDash’s pride vs. ego issue, they have pride vs. pride.

As I talked about before, Rainbow Dash and Rarity both have facades. Rainbow Dash puts a tough mask over her mushy, scared center, and the result of this is that she has a big ego, but finds it hard to be really proud of herself; she puffs up so that nopony sees that. The conceit of happy AppleDash shipping is that Applejack is empathic enough not to rip away Dash’s armor. This means that in arguments, AJ isn’t really trying to cut Dash down, just rein her in, and that a she can take things Dash says less personally, as part of the facade.

Rarity, on the other hand, tries to use make-up and a fake British accent to hide that at her core, she’s almost exactly the same as Applejack-- tough, practical, stubborn, honorable, and proud. Because her facade is self-imposed, and because of her practical true nature, Rarity isn’t afraid of her facade being stripped away, it’s just really annoying.

But that means that in fights with Applejack, Rarity’s pride and stubbornness is going to show through and slam straight into the same things in Applejack, with the bonus effect of annoying Rarity because she had to break her facade. Not only is there nothing holding them back, they are not pretending; the only way win in serious, important arguments is for the other one to go down.

So, put those things together. Rarity and Applejack are the most likely pairing to have fights, and they’re at a disadvantage when it comes to compromise. If there’s no way to simply drop the issue and walk away, or one of them refuses, they’re both likely to go for the low blows, to really try to get under the others skin, and to carry the fight to extremes. In a relationship, fighting is healthy. Fighting with the intent to actually wound your partner is not.

But, who said love was always healthy?

While few of us want to experience the kind of love that rips apart your very soul then slams it back together again, reading about it is a different matter. For all her practicality, Applejack is a romantic (in the philosophical sense) when it comes to her feelings for other ponies-- even more so than Rarity. And Rarity brings a flare for the dramatic that would just magnify that, making the time when they weren’t fighting a whirlwind of romance, thoughtful gestures (or gestures that were intended to be thoughtful, and accepted that way) and more physical passion. But as good as that sounds, it’s almost impossible for it to last considering all I talked about above. Any good story has an element of conflict, and a grand passion has enough conflict for several war epics.

At its heart, a grand passion is a story of conquest, obsession, and addiction, where the lovers act as some strange combination of mad scientist and passionate artist. They’re enthralled by the seeming perfection of the initial relationship, but the cracks and eventual bursting of the dam are bound to tear it down. What makes this more than just a failed romance is that neither of them will be able to forget those good times. They’ll spend the time apart wallowing, regretting, scheming, and waiting for the right time to take the ride all over again. If they do try to move on, the appearance of the other, willing to try again, will pull their new life right apart.

This type of romance is interesting because there’s no happy or tragic ending. If the fic ends with them reunited, there will always be that lit fuse waiting to blow. If it ends with them breaking up, there’s no question that they went to their corners and they’ll be back as soon as the bell rings.

To me, a RariJack hookup fic is incidental. The real romance is in the 4th or 5th time they get back together, hating themselves for being so stupid, hating themselves for how they’ve hurt the other in the past, knowing what will happen when they’re together and fighting with all their stubborn pride to resist… and totally unable to stop it. (Seriously, someone write this so I don’t have to.)

This is the ship that breaks Applejack and wipes away any pretension that Rarity is a lady. And that’s a good thing, it puts the characters through hell in a way no other ship really can, which means it can bring the feels like no other ship can. AppleDash and RariDash come close, but the fact that Rainbow Dash understands them both (and they understand Rainbow Dash) would keep things from blowing up as big, and since she isn’t quite as stubborn as AJ or Rarity she could break the cycle if it got really destructive.

The key to a RariJack fic, in my opinion, is to let the fireworks happen in both directions-- don’t skimp on the attraction, they need to come together like a force of nature and fight the same way. Their friends shouldn’t just not understand, they should be actively concerned that this is probably not healthy (because it’s probably not.) There’s just no way to stop it. I think too often RariJack fics try to make it seem like a normal relationship in terms of fights and disagreements, which is both unrealistic and a missed opportunity. These two are not a bickering married couple, they are prize fighters with a glorious rivalry.

I want to finish up by saying that obviously this isn’t the only way to write good RariJack, and what I wrote about last week isn’t the only way to write good FlutterDash. They’re just, from my point of view, the most romantic ways to write them that still acknowledge/address the problems visible in canon.



This post was sponsored by Jake R, Kiro Talon, Maskedferret, Singularity Dream, bats, Merc the Jerk, nemopemba, Everhopeful, DbzOrDie, Diremane, First_Down, and stormgnome. Thanks, you guys. If anyone else wants to help me out, get mentioned, and get other vaguely cool things from me, check out this post for details!

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Comments ( 37 )

You almost make me wanna read RariJack. Almost...

Though, I think the way you described their relationship as passionate, is one of the reasons that I like clopfics that treat it as accidental or temporary hook-ups. No plans for the future, just living in that particular moment.

Fun fact: when horses are moved around/transported improperly, they can get something called Pleuropneumonia. It's informally called Travel Sickness or Shipping Fever.

As a horse expert, I have no choice but to diagnose you with terminal shipping fever, Bookplayer.

God this sounds so like my marriage that I'm not entirely sure you aren't spying on me...

You're right, though. The best romances are the ones that are broken in some way. Fairytale romances where everything ends in perfection are a nice dessert, a sugary treat - and we all like our sugary treats - but the very best romances are the ones that are filled with passion. Passion deepens and strengthens whatever a character does. It turns mere disagreement into visceral conflict and attraction into that soul-binding intimacy that lasts a lifetime. That passion shows the characters they're alive, even if it hurts in the process.

In a way I've always liked the romance that fails - not because of circumstances, but because of the fundamental make-up of the protagonists, especially if the thing that brings them together is the reason they must part.

(Also, if this is the quality of writing we can expect from your patreon then I suspect I shall have to find some cash for next time.)

It really made me want to read a Rarijack story written by you. It'd be really interesting. Wonderful analysis, my dear :pinkiehappy:

Likely as a by product of recently going on a Scrubs binge, this sounds exactly like the JD/Elliot dynamic. the opposing personalities, the constant fighting, breaking up, getting back together, fighting again. It fits it perfectly.

Hmm . . .

I don't know. I wouldn't call it the most romantic because all of the main six have a shipping counterpart that allows for a very interesting relationship. TwiDash allows for Twilight to learn to not be so uptight and have fun while Rainbow Dash can learn to be more orderly and become more well-read.

FlutterDash allows Fluttershy to come out of her shell more while Rainbow learns to become more calm and loving.

And this just keeps on going. They all have personalities that are very opposing but also building. They all can learn something from each other.

Naming one ship over another in any way is . . . I don't know. Odd? It's a relationship. They're all special in their own unique ways.

The main obstacle I see, even if both are attracted to mares, is that they have too much common sense to fall for each other like this. They both know that they would be hazarding real heartbreak (I doubt that AJ is capable of a fling, and Rarity isn't with a close friend like Applejack, and they've noticed that they fight. They love each other in canon (as friends), but they would not work as lovers, and they know it -- and would know it in advance.

Rainbow Dash puts a tough mask over her mushy, scared center, and the result of this is that she has a big ego, but finds it hard to be really proud of herself; she puffs up so that nopony sees that.

(*nods*)

Rainbow Dash is extremely loving, and tries to pretend that she's not. And she will go far out of her way for somepony she loves.

This was, incidentally, why I eventually decided to go with her as innocent but boasting of her sexuality rather than actually promiscuous. Rainbow Dash would be torn up emotionally by what she'd have to do to actually be promiscuous -- pretend to feelings she didn't have, or worse, actually feel them and then be abandoned again and again.

The conceit of happy AppleDash shipping is that Applejack is empathic enough not to rip away Dash’s armor. This means that in arguments, AJ isn’t really trying to cut Dash down, just rein her in, and that a she can take things Dash says less personally, as part of the facade.

This is in canon how their friendship works: AJ and Dashie compete but only within certain limits. They will not strike at anything about which the other deeply cares. This works for them because they are both extremely honorable.

The difference between the two pairs is communication.

Which is why Rarijack actually doesn't work, not for long-term happiness. They would be constantly fighting, and making each other unhappy. They can only take each other in small doses.

For all her practicality, Applejack is a romantic (in the philosophical sense) when it comes to her feelings for other ponies-- even more so than Rarity.

Ah, you noticed that. Not everybody does. Applejack is extremely idealistic -- this is one reason she gets along with with Twilight. They understand each other's personalities, even if Applejack doesn't understand the details of Twilight's scholarship, and Twilight's life living in the Court at Canterlot was very different from Applejack's on the farm.

And Rarity brings a flare for the dramatic that would just magnify that, making the time when they weren’t fighting a whirlwind of romance, thoughtful gestures (or gestures that were intended to be thoughtful, and accepted that way) and more physical passion.

Rarity may have the strongest sex drive of any of the Mane Six.

Seriously, though, having them fall in love is rather sadistic toward both of them.

The real romance is in the 4th or 5th time they get back together, hating themselves for being so stupid, hating themselves for how they’ve hurt the other in the past, knowing what will happen when they’re together and fighting with all their stubborn pride to resist… and totally unable to stop it. (Seriously, someone write this so I don’t have to.)

We need to get Steel Resolve's other projects finished so he can start this one. :ajsmug:

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Naming one ship over another in any way is . . . I don't know. Odd? It's a relationship. They're all special in their own unique ways.

They are, and that's kind of what these posts are about. How each of the mane six ships are the most romantic.

First, notice they aren't talking about the relationships in the abstract, but about stories about those relationships. Basically, they're how I feel like a writer can make the most out of these unique relationships, and what type of story this relationship really shines in more than any other ship.

For example, I love TwiJack, but it just wouldn't work in this type of story. There isn't the raw passion, and they're both too down-to-earth to do something like this. On the other hand, Twi and AJ are the best partnership in the main six, their relationship style lends itself to stories where they're facing a problem together, as a team.

I will say, you might have noticed that neither the FlutterDash nor RariJack essays mentioned either of them changing the other-- I don't think that's a really good view of relationships (people grow, but they shouldn't be changing to be more like their partner for the relationship to survive.) That's why I don't normally like ships like FlutterDash, RariJack, TwiPie, etc. But both of these essays also covered ways of writing the ship without the change in personality.

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Oh, Super... this made me laugh SO hard! :rainbowlaugh: :heart: :rainbowlaugh: :heart: :rainbowlaugh: :heart:

As someone suffering from the same affliction (including the tendency to have long discussions about why one or another 'ship cannot or, more likely in my mind and heart, can work) I adore bookplayer's post even more because of your comment!

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

I'm not really convinced, but I will give a RariJack story a try. :applejackunsure:

Edit: I'm not sure they should be called the "Most Romantic Ship" in MLP, if they are going to break up so many times, it's those on again-off again ships. I also don't see how their relationship would last long enough for them to be serious about each other, even if they do break up. That's why I usually hate those "opposites attract" scenarios because, half of the time, they really don't work together.

AppleDash isn't even a good ship in my books for this reason; FlutterJack and ApplePie, even less so. I'll read it if the author can make it adorable enough; Applejack is best pony.

RariJack is higher; they have a lot of the same values and have a lot of the same stresses(siblings/businesses/other relatives/etc) that I can see them mesh better than others. However, there are some ships I prefer even more like TwiJack, LunaJack, or SoarinJack.

I'm just a really big APPLEJACK fan and if you can write it, I will come. :ajsmug:

Comment posted by bookplayer deleted Sep 22nd, 2014

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AppleDash isn't even a good ship in my books for this reason; FlutterJack and ApplePie, even less so.

For what reason?

RariJack is higher; they have a lot of the same values and have a lot of the same stresses(siblings/businesses/other relatives/etc) that I can see them mesh better than others.

I have to disagree with this. Even though they do have siblings, businesses, and other relitives, they approach those things in entirely different ways.

Rarity is clearly Sweetie Belle's sister, and they fight like it (and make up, of course.) Applejack is somewhere between a mother and a sister to Apple Bloom. It's a very different relationship.

In terms of business, Applejack manages a large family farm that she's trying to maintain through the efforts of at least several ponies, in a number of different ways. Rarity is a single pony business that she's very ambitious about, but it mostly focuses on her and her own creativity.

Applejack is very close with her family and relatives, Rarity rarely sees her parents even though they're in the same town.

Applejack and Rarity have very different kinds of lives. I know you mentioned that you already like it, but the pony who does have the same sort of life as AJ, even if it looks different on the surface, is Twilight. She has the same sort of relationship with Spike that AJ has with Apple Bloom, not to mention also having other relatives that she'd love to be able to be closer to (and sees every chance she gets). And she takes on the same kind of leadership/manager role around town and with the mane six that AJ has at the farm. AJ and Twilight have things in common like that, but once again I don't think that AJ and Rarity could really understand each other about these things.

Reminds me of Eren and Annie from Attack on Titan.

Very nicely thought out, may need to pay more attention to this ship. For some reason I can't articulate though, Rarity X Twilight is my favorite pairing in the Mane 6.

I'm not sure I recall the last time I read RariJack... Hmm...
I'm really loving these shipping essays! They're extremely well-written and thoughtful.

EDIT: One look through my favorites later, and the question I'm asking myself is "how have I possibly read so little RariJack?" I feel like my ships are bigger in my head than in real life.
...was that even a sentence that makes sense

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I generally view ships in how the characters can mutually benefit each other in the long run for the sake of character growth, not necessarily for anything more. When I read a romance story, one that is serious, I like to see how the two change due to their individual personalities influencing each other. It makes for a good story, but it's more of a mechanical look. It's based more in storytelling than being truly real. All I was getting at is that they all have ways in which they are romantic based on how you described the two characters and why they work. Rarity is internally rustic and county, and if she had a country girl around more, she can learn to try and be more herself than trying to put on a façade, as you said, to impress. Being able to accept yourself for who you are is important.

On all other points, I concede. I didn't look at it the same way you did, and therefore I had a vastly different view on it all. However, I'm curious what you think of the points I made in my first paragraph here.

Nice try but im still not gonna read rarijack. Simply because i dont like mixing pairings up in reading.

I can't find the upvote button.

Essentially what I've been saying. I can see them getting together temporarily - short term stuff. And they'd have the angriest sex of the six, bar none. But it just could never, ever last!

2474944

I was making generalizations.

I never said the details were the same, if it came across that way, I apologize. I know and understand that they approach things differently. They'll have different perspectives on the same things and are able to claim ignorance on the similar things as well. This is where their pride comes in; unlike ego or arrogance for others(Yes, I believe there are distinct nuances between pride, ego, and arrogance).

On the pairings, the more I see in common with Applejack, the more likely I want an author to have them conflict with each other. This is why I hold ApplePie in such low regard. I enjoyed Taken For Granite by Cloudy Skies. He made it believable whereas I would have just gave up reading after a couple of chapters.

FlutterJack and AppleDash is something that I can see working out, but I read it more for the "Dawww's" than anything else. I just don't understand why they would work when there are more compatible pairings.

TwiJack could be seen by others as in the same category as FlutterJack, but with Twilight, she is more open and could use a stronger hoof to hold and lead her. I also don't see if Applejack is doing 90% of the talking would work wonders for anypony around. Whether canon or fanon.

2475003

I generally view ships in how the characters can mutually benefit each other in the long run for the sake of character growth, not necessarily for anything more. When I read a romance story, one that is serious, I like to see how the two change due to their individual personalities influencing each other. It makes for a good story, but it's more of a mechanical look. It's based more in storytelling than being truly real. All I was getting at is that they all have ways in which they are romantic based on how you described the two characters and why they work.

The short response is that there's nothing wrong with that, in itself, but it can easily turn into several different kinds of Unfortunate Implications when you're dealing with characters in love influencing each other. Also, It's perfectly valid if character growth in a romance fic isn't caused by the specific ship, but rather flavored by it.

That's very short and confusing, so the long answer is: Can I respond in a blog post tomorrow night? I have a lot to cover here. :twilightsheepish:

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:derpytongue2: If you must, then let it be so. I look forward to your full thoughts.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

unf

I really like this view of RariJack. :D Have you written, or do you plan to write, anything that lives up to the description of their relationship at the end of this? The "4th or 5th time"?

2474763

I'm sure that there's a way that Twidash can work without Twilight or Rainbow having to change very important parts of their characterization. Their capability to have a relationship don't rest on Rainbow acting more like Twilight, or vice versa.

I'm probably being uptight, though. It's just that the mentioning of having to change someone in a relationship in order to make it work often irritates me.


tries to use make-up and a fake British 

I always thought her accent was french? It sounds sort of distinctly different from a British accent. Maybe it's just her tone of voice.

Another thing is that comment (not a comment comment, but you know what I mean) about her accent being fake. I think that would make for a good story, about her training herself to subconsciously know to speak in that accent at all times. And I've just never considered the idea of Rarity accent being for show.

I would pay good money to hear Ashleigh Ball say "Ah wish ah knew how to quit you!"

To me, a RariJack hookup fic is incidental. The real romance is in the 4th or 5th time they get back together, hating themselves for being so stupid, hating themselves for how they’ve hurt the other in the past, knowing what will happen when they’re together and fighting with all their stubborn pride to resist… and totally unable to stop it. (Seriously, someone write this so I don’t have to.)

Lion wrote it a while ago, though it still isn't finished, but A Terrible Reason to Be Unhappy is basically them running away from each other but being incomplete without the other, and them trying to deal with whether or not to be together again. Unfortunately, it IS unfinished. Clearly this means we need to make Lion finish it. :flutterrage:

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2475641
If I wrote it, I'd go with something shorter and moodier-- think more along the lines of Hummingbird Heartbeat but turned up to eleven, with probably a very clear addiction metaphor.

If no one else is interested in writing that kind of story, I'll keep it on the back burner, but it probably won't get written for a while (if ever). If someone else wants to write it, or something else using the same concept, I'm just fine with that.

To me, RariJack is the most human ship out there. It potentially shows both the best and worst aspects of a romance. Because, on one hand like you said, when they fight, they could be mean as hell going by canon, they lack a basic understanding of one-another, and have a sort of big picture vs meticulous details ideology in a lot of their views and mental processes. On the opposite side of the coin, you can showcase one (of a few) thing(s) they both have in common: underneath Rarity's makeup, she's been shown time and time again to be second only to AJ in stubbornness. And that's part of what makes a lasting relationship—not things in common, not backgrounds, not personalities. Stubbornness.

They'd be the definitive dream team in both traditional, storybook loves, due to Rarity's, as you say, flare for dramatic and AJ's idealistic nature, and more real to-life fictions. As you said in your FlutterDash, bills don't stop just because you're in love. Out of all the mane 6 pairings, they'd be the ones to handle the bullshit life throws at them the best. Underneath the makeup, Rarity's stubborn as a mule, like AJ. If situations allow it (which I'll address that in a moment), once they got together, even with all the low-down, drug out screaming fights, they wouldn't break up. To me, their stubbornness is a key component of their relationship, and would override their other personality traits when it's all said and done. There'd be a lot of hurt at times, but even then, I don't think there'd ever be a moment where one would look at the other and say "this is hopeless."

Hopping back a second, and this is where I'll concede a point: they'd need a damn good reason to hook up in the first place. This isn't a ship that you can simply hop into like you can with AppleDash. There'd need to be a necessary situation where they would seek one-another out, over joining someone more compatible to their personalities and taking the more easy route for a relationship. I don't see AJ looking for a lusting quickie and, likewise, I don't see Rarity wanting to embrace the type of life she tried to get away from in the first place, so that's where the abilities of a writer are put to the test in regards to them actually starting a relationship (One of the reasons I don't like RariJack one-shots and just tend to write chapter fics with them.)

Between the two, I think the key deciding fact on if it'd be a rocky relationship would be Rarity herself, because out of all the mane 6, she's the only one I'd say isn't always consistent in her reactions. She could be catty in one scenario, and it fit perfectly, likewise, she could also hold a sort of begrudging empathy or vague understanding in another and it still fits her just fine. If things ever got out of control in the romance, it'd be due to Rarity. AJ wouldn't be the instigator. At least not intentionally, anyway.

But that's kinda the fun of the ship compared to others, I guess. It's so up in the air on how it turns out—every story's almost like an adventure fic when done right, since every author has a different view on how the innerworkings would be handled, and how each character would approach the situation, you never know what you're gonna get.

Good blog, bro. Keep up the fine job.

2477041

There'd be a lot of hurt at times, but even then, I don't think there'd ever be a moment where one would look at the other and say "this is hopeless."

Not like reasonable adults, no. This is where the other side of that "stubborn and proud" thing comes in-- if during a fight, one of them said "Get out" or "I'm leaving," it would be very, very hard for them to come back. That's when I could see "this is hopeless." At least until enough time passed that they'd started to miss the other more than they love their pride, when things would start all over again.

Seriously, someone write this so I don’t have to.

Ponibius' When Better Days are Past isn't exclusively Rarijack, but the moments where it comes up are pretty intense, and a perfect example of everything that can go wrong, over and over again.

Rarijack

A candle that burns too bright too fast.

Seriously, it took Applejack being a much bigger pony than Rarity to take Rarity back as a friend after Simple Ways. Just knowing that's how she sees Applejack, her family, and everypony like her... ouch. That took a lot of guts. Mad props.

oi57.tinypic.com/1493y1w.jpg

An author I respect showed this to me (Oroboro) and I'm glad it did not disappoint. I wanted to note (in the event that it had not been said already) that even with proper and perfect communication, their value structures--how they decided what is important, and in turn how the identify what the other wants--is so completely different that there is still plenty of room for conflict (even if they knew exactly what the other wanted).

But that means that in fights with Applejack, Rarity’s pride and stubbornness is going to show through and slam straight into the same things in Applejack, with the bonus effect of annoying Rarity because she had to break her facade.

Overlooked is the nature of pride, that it is not born over night, and always has a source. When we consider the nature of theses sources we can determine if the conflicts pride creates has a resolution (regardless of who is right and who is wrong, if anyone is at fault). One thing I wanted to add about pride is that when we characterize pride as an unwillingness, an inability to lose, and call it a vice... it is easy to forget that true mastery of this vice will allow nothing; not even one's own pride, to stand in between a proud person and their goals. This is often what I attribute to the success of a proud character in writing.

Because of this, I think "disadvantage" may be a misleading sentiment as it is a subjective qualifier. The success of a prideful person often comes from temperance, something AJ is shown to have an abundance of, IF she understands the position of the other pony. This is where the crux of proper communication comes in (that you mentioned earlier). If anything, it gives them an ample amount of opportunity to practice that communication, and emotional accountability.

In regards to that communication it has always been my position that Honesty is a sign of respect, and I have AJ echo that sentiment (well Rarity echoing AJ's sentiment) because she is a very respectable pony, and in the context of the source it is to show they have the level of communication to make it work.
"Sometimes the truth can be hard to hear. But yer doin' a pony a disservice by thinkin' them weaker than they really are. Honesty is about showin' that ya respect a pony's ability to handle the truth."

That coupled with the reality that sometimes a relationship requires a person or pony to be really honest with themselves.
"She knew Rarity did like things 'just so' and if she was honest with herself so did she; even if what 'just so' entailed was completely different."

Obviously this wouldn't be the only way to approach it, but it worked well enough for me to establish a different kind of conflict which stemmed from that honesty with self. That conflict in this story comes from within. Something that their fights may exacerbate, but never caused directly. Anyway, if I could favorite a blog post, I would, because this could lead to some rather interesting discussion.

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One thing I wanted to add about pride is that when we characterize pride as an unwillingness, an inability to lose, and call it a vice... it is easy to forget that true mastery of this vice will allow nothing; not even one's own pride, to stand in between a proud person and their goals. This is often what I attribute to the success of a proud character in writing.

I disagree with this definition of pride, which I think is where the confusion comes in. Pride isn't about an unwillingness to back down or be wrong-- that's stubbornness. Pride is about holding yourself to some higher standard. Applejack is proud of her honesty, her practicality, her athletic skills, her ability to care for her family. Rarity is proud of her appearance, her taste and design talent, and her social understanding and maneuvering, So in a situation where, say, Rarity wants Applejack to impress some clients at a dinner, it's pitting something Applejack takes pride in (her honesty) against something Rarity takes pride in (her social maneuvering.) Even if they could compromise, it involves one of them admitting that what she values about herself isn't as important as what the other values about herself. Neither would be likely to do that without a gloves off fight.


In short, pride isn't the inability to back down, it's the value in something that makes it a sin to back down. Reaching your goals doesn't really have anything to do with it unless you're talking about reaching goals in something you take pride in.

In regards to that communication it has always been my position that Honesty is a sign of respect, and I have AJ echo that sentiment (well Rarity echoing AJ's sentiment) because she is a very respectable pony, and in the context of the source it is to show they have the level of communication to make it work.

I feel like you missed my point: On the show, in episodes like Trade Ya and Simple Ways, they are both totally honest with each other and they still do not understand each other. The problem isn't them not telling each other things, or even them sugarcoating them, the problem is that they aren't hearing what the other is saying. And all the honesty in the world won't fix that. They literally can not communicate because they do not understand each other.

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The problem isn't them not telling each other things, or even them sugarcoating them, the problem is that they aren't hearing what the other is saying. And all the honesty in the world won't fix that.

That's a reasonable assessment and I have really no counter for that, and it comes down to the definition of pride and the implementation of it as they both share this feature.

Pride is about holding yourself to some higher standard.

I think, by holding oneself to a higher standard, it is so easy to overlook that others are not (not all have the vice of pride). The question of what this standard is, and how it differs between the two different ponies holding it, is a one of implementation. The question of how honest one must be with themselves, and how reasonably they interpret the actions of others (even the question of what is "reasonable") is all an execution of that standard. It is with that in mind that I suggested not to focus on the nature of the pride conflicting (though it is an engaging symptom), but the nature of their differing standards, their differing sources of pride, when considering conflict of these two characters.

When you note that in Trade Ya, that they clearly had no idea what the other wanted, the fact they both measured themselves by the standard of the generosity, the effort put into trying to find the appropriate gift, is what I feel was the intended lesson in that show. That their commonality may actually outweigh their differences, if they cared enough to look for it. The question on whether or not they do, and if they do what 'disadvantage' they would suffer because of their differing standards, is one that is open for interpretation.

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When you note that in Trade Ya, that they clearly had no idea what the other wanted, the fact they both measured themselves by the standard of the generosity, the effort put into trying to find the appropriate gift, is what I feel was the intended lesson in that show. That their commonality may actually outweigh their differences, if they cared enough to look for it.

And they appreciated that in a "it's the thought that counts." But there are plenty of times in life where it's not the thought that counts, it's the action. That's where it falls apart, because even when you're trying, they don't get it.

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