News, pretty much all exciting. · 8:58pm Sep 1st, 2014
Moonlight Palaver's one of the Outside Insight winners.
It came in at the 3rd/4th position, tying with Queen of Queens by JawJoe. Being merely one of the finalists was exhilarating enough, but being one of the winners, and being that far in the rankings...
I can only assume I must have engaged in spectacular blackmail and/or bribery at some point, but for the life of me, I can't remember when.
Gratitude to the judges and competition organisers, and congratulations to everyone else who won, ended up amongst the finalists, or put in the effort to write for the contest. It's been damned fun throughout. And salutations to the couple of new followers I've acquired since the posting of the results! Your numbers might increase slightly as the night goes on and people in other time zones start doing things. I'm Carabas, and from time to time I roll my face on a keyboard until words come out. I hope I don't disappoint.
If I'd known that was such an effective method I'd have posted something by now, thank you for telling me what I've been missing in my own efforts.
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Other methods I try from time to time and which might work for you include:
1) Cack-handedly flailing at the keyboard with clenched fists and a terrified expression.
2) Opening a blank word processor document and then getting distracted by the rest of the internet for the entire evening.
3) Invoking the eldritch name of the Dweller Beyond, conducting the twelve ritual sacrifices required, screaming as the vistas of all reality tear through the blasted fragments of your mind, showering upon regaining consciousness to try and wash your sins away, and discovering the Comedy oneshot requested sitting on the computer screen.
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I've tried that one, but it never seems to work for me. Even tried the version where instead of the internet I get distracted by Civilization V, but all that did was result in Celestia going on a small rampage and then winning via culture.
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I can do a similar trick, except with Europa Universalis IV instead of Civilisation V.
Let me give you some solid writing advice, gained from bitter experience and which has served me well since. Never engage in a land war with France. You will die. You will die screaming and on fire and with French pikes embedded in your favourite organs.
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I also advise not provoking Ghandi once he discovers uranium and builds the Manhattan Project. He won't start a fight, but if he gets one he will end it with mushroom clouds. Never fuck with Ghandi.
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Works wonders, with only the minor incidental hazard of occasionally getting eaten by a shoggoth.
Man, it's dark in a shoggoth stomach.
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Hey, we can't all have mastered the art of producing our own bioluminesence. That stuff's hard.