• Member Since 26th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 7th, 2023

Cerulean Voice


Father of twin 8yo boys, partner of Arcelia, and so glad to remain here.

More Blog Posts74

  • 69 weeks
    I've been honoured and humbled yet again

    Two things to announce today! :yay::twilightangry2:

    The emojis were clues btw

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    5 comments · 355 views
  • 75 weeks
    Ancient relics (I never forgot)

    So the other day, I got a comment on Diamond Eyes. You might not think this an extraordinary occurrence (and you'd be right, inherently), but this comment drew my attention to the fact that some art I had linked in the Author's Notes had a broken link, and that they would like to see it if I could find it. The link to the artist was broken too (they formerly went as _Vidz_).

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    3 comments · 228 views
  • 115 weeks
    Surprise!

    So my girlfriend entered this competition and she put a lot of hard work and effort into her entry.
    Then she struggled with self-esteem issues and almost didn't post it.

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    2 comments · 271 views
  • 166 weeks
    Persona 5 is awesome, you guys

    And in a minute or two, Arcelia and I will be playing it. Our progress so far: We just got Queen (Makoto) and we're about to hit Kaneshiro's Palace

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    2 comments · 203 views
  • 217 weeks
    The beginning of the end of the beginning of the end

    Arcelia and I are rewatching mlp from the first episode until the last. Neither of us have seen season nine. She's successfully moved back in with me and we are celebrating by taking the most epic trip down memory lane, culminating in the end of the show that brought us together in a way neither of us ever anticipated. I imagine it will be quite emotional when the time comes to say goodbye to the

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    5 comments · 420 views
Sep
1st
2014

Main Reviews #7: Twilight's Inferno (spoiler warning) · 12:39am Sep 1st, 2014

Hoo, boy.
It's been a while, hasn't it? When was my last review? eight, nine weeks ago?
I know I said I would do Sunshine and Fire next, but I had this on my favourited list for months and I finally made myself get to it two days ago.

So, how many of you like Dante's Inferno? Or the epic poem it was based off? If so, you're in for a real treat... but only if you are truly a wretched soul yourself, for the journey that unfolds will leave you broken on the inside.

Come, let us enter Hell on Equestria: Twilight's Inferno.

Author: PaulAsaran

Synopsis:

Twilight has made a terrible mistake, and her attempt at a simple solution leads to extreme consequences. Now trapped in the deepest depths of Tartarus, she must rely on a rival to guide her back to the surface. But Equestria is different and the Eternal Prison with it: the Lords of Tartarus lie in wait...
Every discovery leads to more guilt, more despair and more pain. Twilight is determined to bask in the warm light of the sun and see her beloved friends again. She will escape Hell on Equestria and right her great wrong.
But the scars of Tartarus run much deeper than she could imagine...

Current length: 106,889 words over 12 chapters, averaging 8,907 words per chapter

Status: Complete

Review: It is worth first mentioning that this story is (chronologically) a prequel to Trixie vs Equestria, although the way that PaulAsaran has set them both up, they can be read in either order. In fact, choosing which to read first is quite a decision, because reading Trixie will spoil the ending of Inferno before you even start, whereas beginning with Inferno spoils the first four chapters of Trixie. I had already read, edited, and loved Trixie vs Equestria before this was released, so of course I knew what the outcome would ultimately be. And yet, that in itself is rather unnerving, because as depicted in TvE, Twilight Sparkle is horribly mutilated when she appears before Trixie to give her warnings and advice before disappearing. Knowing the state that Twilight was in upon entering Inferno, I thought I was prepared for the journey. I thought it couldn't surprise me, shock me, fill me with dread, build my hopes up and then crush them ruthlessly...

Okay, point made. This is not a journey for the faint of heart. In fact, even reasonably stoic hearts may find themselves aching. As if the Mature, sex, and gore tags weren't enough, Paul saw fit to provide an additional warning in the story description:

Warning

Some of the content in this story, particularly in a later chapter, have proven disturbing and upsetting for certain readers. Upon some discussion with others, it is clear that a warning beyond the mature tag is needed. This story is recommended to those who are serious about following Twilight through a very realistic hell. Don't do it lightly.

Are you frightened yet? You should be.

Now, you don't have to be savvy with either Dante's / Inferno or any of Paul's other stories, although you may recognise some familiar faces and (particularly Celestia's) character traits. The story begins with Princess Twilight (the Princess title is very important to mention there) appearing in the past with the idea to bear witness to Discord's defeat personally, for the purposes of research of course. Unfortunately, a whole lot of weird elemental stuff happens, Discord ends up dead instead of trapped in stone, and upon her return to the future, Twilight finds herself in a vastly altered timeline. Ponyville is barely recogniseable, everypony seems shocked that she has wings, her friends are nowhere to be found, and Canterlot resembles a fortress far more than a work of art. Seeking to speak with Celestia and clear her confusion about what has happened, Twilight finds herself instead incarcerated by the deceptive ruler spoiler for TvE: Celestia is not as she seems. Remember Night Mare Moon? Can I trust that you know who Solar Flare is in fanon? Yeah, she rules Equestria, having defeated her good self centuries earlier (it's complicated), accused of being a changeling... and sent directly to the bottom circle of Tartarus, Limbo.

Yup.

Panicking, a distraught Twilight is desperate to escape her prison, yet has no idea how. Paul's version of Tartarus is a twisted mess of vile sins, draconequus tombs, souls who have given up the will to live (that's right, Tartarus is an eternal prison, not a form of afterlife—everyone present is alive and cannot die :twilightoops:) and many other challenges. Yet it is here that Twilight runs into an unexpected ally.
Sunset Shimmer.
The mare that AU unicorn Twilight was forced to duel and defeat to earn Celestia's favour.
Great, that's not awkward or anything.

Sunset's character is highly interesting. She's not depicted as anything like her EqG self, rather, a completely morose individual who would rather stew in the bottom of Limbo for eternity rather than attempt to escape. Nopony has every escaped from Tartarus, you see (fyi, Tirek doesn't exist in this story, it was written before he existed in s4 canon), and any who try end up suffering fates infinitely worse than death.
Yet still, Twilight manages to persuade Sunset to try and help her, with the promise that they will escape together. Eventually, Sunset caves and allows herself to believe that such a thing might just be possible.

The rest of the story is a desperate affair following these two ponies as they attempt to sneak past, combat, deceive and flee from the seven Lords of Tartarus, each of which rule over a circle within the prison. Sombra, Greed, level one / Star Swirl and his creation Ne'er-Do-Well, Sloth, level two / Chrysalis, Gluttony, level three / Tazel (an OC, similar to Discord except far more mentally unstable and vicious), Envy, level four / Blueblood, Vanity, level five / Pegasus Cadance, Lust, level six / Reddux (an OC dragon tyrant), Wrath, level seven Gradually, Twilight suffers many horrifying injuries during the course of her escape. Below, I will give a laundry list of her afflictions.

*You do not have to read this if you do not wish. For those who do not plan to read this story, feel free to take a gander, however if you do feel like checking this out, you will want to avoid the black bars below*

Left wing broken after being caught in a tornado while escaping Sombra—wing subsequently repositioned by Sunset
Afflicted with a mysterious, debilitating illness by Ne'er-Do-Well, which leaves her coughing steadily more viciously as the fic proceeds
Slight magical exhaustion after mimicking Cadance's love spell to placate Chrysalis
Horrifying psychological damage after Tazel enters her dreams and proceeds to brutally mutilate, eviscerate, decapitate and torture her friends and herself
All four hooves pierced by stone stakes that reach up into her legs (later removed by Sunset) rendering her almost unable to walk
Wing re-broken and eye plucked from her head by a griffon, who offers it to Blueblood as a tribute
Magical migraine after expending close to all of her power helping Sunset and herself escape Blueblood
Beware: these next two are by far the worst—I cannot stress this enough, as they were what warranted the additional warning supplied above
Horn bashed and torn from her head by Shining Armor at Cadance's request
Raped by Shining Armor, Cadance, and her own horn, which Cadance wears as her own
Yeah, that was almost the "I'm done with this story" point for me, but I decided to stick around anyway...
Uninjured wing torn off by Reddux
Sunset Shimmer roasted alive in front of her, then crushed into ashy powder

Despite all of this, there is a light at the end of this brutal, pathetic tunnel. But it just comes so late and it hardly feels like Twilight has escaped at all. She's out of Tartarus, but the cost was higher than I would ever wish upon anyone. It is here that we pick up the beginnings of Trixie vs Equestria, with Twilight putting her plans into motion. She never wanted for any of that to happen. She just wants to rectify her mistake.

***

All in all, Twilight's Inferno was easily the most disturbing read I have come across on fimfiction.net, even knowing how it must have ended and what Twilight suffered. That knowledge, however, was barely enough to prepare me for the true horrors within. Every Lord of Tartarus was very well fleshed out and given their own twisted AU personalities, all bent on making their victims suffer their particular embodiment of sin. Twilight's injuries were described in agonising detail, and the way she moved, grunted, cried, winced and thought throughout the entire story never let us forget just how steadily more destroyed she was becoming. There's no accidental slipup of her running without pain after having her hooves pierced, or lack of wincing every time she tried to spread her wings, or being calm and relaxed at the prospect of sleep after the nightmares that Tazel afflicted her with. All the time she is struggling on, coughing ever-increasingly more from her poison, limping from her injuries, often relying on Sunset to help her simply continue on, sometimes being physically incapable of doing so.

As a direct foil to Twilight, Sunset starts out mopey and dejected when Twilight (ignorant of the horrors she is about to endure) tries to be her usual encouraging self. Throughout the course of the story, as Twilight sustains more physical and mental damage, it is Sunset who begins to recover hope, and it is Sunset that begins to constantly encourage Twilight into going on, as Twilight herself begins to let hope fade away. This is executed masterfully, gradually, and completely believably. Were it not for Twilight, Sunset never would have left Limbo, yet were it not for Sunset, Twilight would never have made it past the seventh (lowest) Lord. In a rare case, readers will find themselves coming to love Heroic Sunset as she gradually switches places on the optimism scale with Twilight. You can really see the true friendship coming through, and it is only that in the end that allows Twilight to struggle on through her torment and despair.

and then Sunset is mercilessly roasted alive by the first (top) Lord, Reddux, right in front of Twilight

Watching every injury unfold, following Twilight through her excruciating pain, gasping and crying through not only having her eyes removed and her wing re-broken but also Shining Armor and Cadance viciously, gleefully raping her... stories just do not get any more graphic or harrowing than this. Sure, there are tonnes of gore and sex fics out there, but more of them are just for writer gratuity and as such, leave us simply being irritated or disgusted at what is often just blatant out-of-character moments and unexplained messiness "just because." How Inferno differs is because we see exactly how and why every pony is corrupt in this horrifying AU, and why they can reduce themselves to such horrible depravity and malice.

Stories like Inferno are a once-in-a-lifetime read, for after reading something as vile, something as twisted as this... it makes one never want to read a tragedy again. And yet, for that fact itself, the story (and the writer) is to be applauded loudly, for I know that no matter what the audience may suffer through reading, nothing compared to how the writer must have felt watching this unfold word by word, his own fingers birthing such an abomination before his eyes, from the depths of his mind. Or the editor, who had to somehow not get attached to the story and soldier on, fixing grammar and spelling errors, or even suggesting story elements and "improvements."

Despite the bag of overwhelming emotion that Twilight's Inferno unleashed upon me, I am glad to have read it. I am glad to have experienced such a thing, for underneath all of the disgusting acts, the violence, the depravity, the suffering... there is a masterfully, lovingly crafted story, absent from trivial things like bad grammar, plotholes, moments of non-clarity; the story itself is incredibly clean, with barely any errors at all. The structure flows well and is easy (mechanically, of course!) to read. Tension builds up, releasing to vivid scenes, then calming down again long enough for the reader to settle a bit, before once more escalating. Just when you think things can't get worse, they always do. When you have abandoned hope, Sunset and Twilight find a way.

I'm still reeling from this fic, many hours after completing it. While I was spared the horrific nightmares that the story's editor claimed to have had after a certain unsettling chapter, I know that this story will stay with me for a long time. And a story that can do that, for reasons positive not just negative, a story that can make you love it and hate it at the same time... That is a story that deserves to be read and cherished, even as it tears your heart from your chest and dangles it before your eyes – eye – before taking a massive bite out of it and attempting to re-fit it back neatly into place.

I give Twilight's Inferno a 9.5 out of 10. It is easily the best Mature story I have read here, and easily the most brutal and horrifying (yet immersing and absorbing) story I have ever read, published or not (and that's saying something, because I read Stephen King and Lovecraft).

Paul, you magnificent bastard. :heart:

Report Cerulean Voice · 845 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

9.5 out of 10. Wow.

Let me just take this moment to thank my editor for the story, who also helped me brainstorm for the story and put himself through a lot in order to make it as polished as possible. He refuses to re-read that chapter.

I don't blame him.

Am I horrible if when I read the list of injuries, the only part that remotely phased me was the rape

2418338
No, not at all. I can take quite a fair bit myself, but that... That was just beyond brutal, on all levels of pain and scarring.

2418366 So I'm assuming that the pain in this story is worst than what Twilight goes through in Hard Reset, and The Reign of Queen Twilight Sparkle.

2418395
this fic makes reign look tame by comparison...

2418556 Well, damn. On a similar note have you ever read The Immortal Game? It's another great story where very dark things happen to twilight and others. It's actually one of my favorites on this site. The stuff in this one isn't as much gore as it is mind-breaking. (except in the case of Applejack who goes through Hard Reset levels of body trauma.) which that doesn't go into to much detail.
link to story because I derped with link in text. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1886/the-immortal-game

Okay Cerulean Voice. I personally challenge you to read BronyStories's 100 Days of Blueblood, another extremely dark but well crafted story. Get through that, and I'll write a 500-3,000 word story on anything you want.

So, this fic does look interesting, and since I am doing a dark twilight fic perhaps I should check it out for any ideas

2418839
Heed the warning,
I saw a Dead Man Walking.

The thing that Inferno does better more so than almost any other story I've read, is its utilization of the character crutch. The character crutch, is the reader's predisposition to like a character, not because the character is well-developed and likable, but because they're the character of of popular TV show.

I've seen so many stories use the character crutch to skimp out on any actual character development, instead using the fandom's preconceived notions about the characters to drive any and all empathy towards them.

And this is exactly what Twilight's Inferno does. But whereas most stories use our love for the characters in order to skimp out on fleshing out the characters, Inferno uses it as a backboard. All throughout the story, it's constantly thrown in your face that this is Twilight Sparkle you're reading about. Not some badass princess, or grimdark, and war-torn Twilight, but the adorkable little bookworm that we all know and love. And then it makes you watch as she's literally put through Hell.




2418202
Yeah. . . .I actually skimmed over that chapter again, just for the heck of it. It actually looked to me like you managed to make it WORSE. :pinkiegasp:
I'm not going back there.

2424485

Yeah. . . .I actually skimmed over that chapter again, just for the heck of it. It actually looked to me like you managed to make it WORSE. :pinkiegasp:

I'm not going back there.

If you didn't want me to make it worse, you shouldn't have criticized the original version.

Your summaries gave me chills again just thinking about it. Thanks for doing the story justice with a heartfelt review! It definitely deserves it.

2418338
Yeah...
I thought people were throwing a hissy fit over a little gore....
Until I got to that chapter...
Then I threw myself a good hissy fit...

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