Friendship is Card Games: The Show Stoppers · 3:33pm Aug 31st, 2014
Ah, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. When a friend introduced me to the show, he described them as something of a Plot Tumor, and I can certainly see how those who watched Season 1 episodically would feel that way. We're introduced to this amazing world and six incredible mares… and then we have to sit through 22 minutes about a trio of yutzes who can't even tell what they're good at.
Personally, I've always liked them, though I wish the writers would stop dragging out their quest for self-identity. Maybe if Hasbro insisted on toy versions with cutie marks…
Still, one has to wonder if it isn't intentional at this point. On a subconscious (or even conscious) level, they may fear what might come after the Crusade, and thus they prolong it. Part of gaining a cutie mark seems to be recognizing and accepting the nature of one's talent. It's theoretically possible to deny that revelation. Perhaps indefinitely. "We will never stop the journey" indeed…
Interesting to note that Apple Bloom at least tried to steer the others towards their talents. Earth pony common sense at work?
Hmm. Equestria knows of goblins, but lumps them in with ghosts and ghouls. Curious. I'm going to chalk that one up to the same bits of racial memory that gave them legends of humans. (And I'm actually working on something that explains why those memories exist.)
In any case, time to use what may well be my special talent:
Extrasensory Imperfection 2W
Instant
Players can't search their libraries this turn.
Draw a card.
"The mind's eye can be clouded. Or distracted, like if you show it the mind's cake."
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Talent Show 2U
Sorcery
Each player may cast an instant or sorcery card not named Talent Show from his or her hand without paying its mana cost.
It's always best to watch pony performances from outside the blast radius.
Gather Supplies 3U
Sorcery
Look at the top four cards of your library. Put two of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
"It fell off of a wagon. More than once."
—Scootaloo
Lake Squid 4U
Creature — Squid
Flash
Affinity for Islands (This spell costs 1 less to cast for each Island you control.)
Territorial, temperamental tentacles trouble trespassers.
2/2
Fashion Crime B
Instant
Destroy target enchanted or equipped creature.
"Some ensembles simply should not exist."
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Horrific Glimpse BB
Sorcery
Choose target player. Scry 2, then reveal the top card of your library. That player loses life equal to that card's converted mana cost.
Sausage, laws, and musical numbers. Don't investigate how any of them are made.
Curse of the Absent Muse 3B
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player's upkeep, remove a verse counter from each Song that player controls.
"Coming up with words is, like… really hard."
—Scootaloo
Dumb Fabric 3B
Sorcery
Target player discards a card for each enchantment he or she controls.
"Sometimes, looking at my earlier works gives me new inspiration. Sometimes, I'm so struck by all of the obvious flaws that I despair of ever sewing again."
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Totally Lost Cause 1R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Activated abilities of enchanted land cost an additional "Sacrifice this land" to activate unless they're mana abilities. (Costs that include more than one sacrifice of the same permanent can't be paid.)
"You ever seen a dilapidated pond? It ain't pretty."
—Apple Bloom
Localized Blizzard 1RR
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Enchanted land is snow and has "T: Target creature can't block this turn."
Pegasus weather magic allows for a number of situations that would be unheard of on most planes.
Deft Spin 2R
Instant
You may change the targets of each other spell and ability that targets target creature.
Keep your head straight for as long as you can, even when everypony else loses theirs.
Enchanting Vocalist 1G
Creature — Unicorn
Whenever you cast a Song spell, you may draw a card.
Music is music, but a good performer is what makes true art.
0/2
Sloppy Hogs 3GG
Creature — Boar
When Sloppy Hogs enters the battlefield, choose a card type. You gain 1 life for each card of the chosen type in your graveyard.
"Truffles? Uh, yeah, sure. That's why we raise hogs. Truffles."
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
3/3
Crusaders' Map 1
Artifact
2, T, Sacrifice Crusaders' Map: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a land card. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
Your destination is as uncertain as your destiny.
Daredevil's Scooter 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has haste.
As long as equipped creature is attacking, prevent all noncombat damage that would be dealt to it.
Equip 1
Fog Machine 3
Artifact
2, T: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by target creature you control this turn.
"At least we don't have to watch them dance anymore."
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Shoddy Construction (rg)(rg)
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact
Enchanted artifact's activated abilities cost an additional "Sacrifice this artifact" to activate. (Costs that include more than one sacrifice of the same permanent can't be paid.)
When enchanted artifact is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return Shoddy Construction to its owner's hand.
Crusaders' Theme 1RG
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Crusaders' Theme.
RG, Sacrifice Crusaders' Theme: Destroy up to X target nonbasic, noncreature permanents, where X is the number of verse counters on Crusaders' Theme.
Showstopper 2(rg)
Enchantment
Spells with converted mana cost 6 or greater have split second. (As long as that spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
The greatest displays of magic can leave onlookers gasping in awe.
Reclaim the Components 2WU
Instant
Counter target spell. You gain life equal to that spell's converted mana cost.
In hindsight, Snips realized that using carrots as part of the routine was just asking for trouble.
Personal favourites are Lake Squid (because affinity for things other than artifacts is awesome instead of broken, plus great flavortext), Horrific Glimpse, and Curse of the Absent Muse.
I need Showstopper. In great quantities
I thought of a question while reading this particular blog, and I feel compelled to ask.
As we all know, Magic has a variety of abilities that can alter the mana cost of a spell, whether it be by producing colorless mana, altering the color of mana you have, or just outright lowering the cost. There's also a variety of abilities that allow you to cast instants and sorceries for free.
My question is: what would happen if you decreased the cost of a card with X to zero?
2417378 It's covered in the Magic comprehensive rules. You define X, then apply cost increases and reductions, and then activate mana abilities to pay the resulting costs.
Sloppy Hogs: Hey, Applejack, you mispronounced "bacon".
2417531 Exactly what I was thinking.
2417526 So theoretically, you could make any spell with X incredibly overpowered by making it free?
2418847 All spells that can cast a spell for free specify that X is zero. If you had eight copies of Mana Matrix on the battlefield (reduces the casting cost of instants and enchantments by 2), though, you could cast Volcanic Geyser for X equals 16 for just the two red cost.
2418847 Casting something "without paying its mana cost" doesn't work the same way as stacking up cost reduction abilities. If you cast something without paying its mana cost, you skip all decision-making attached to that, meaning {X} is always zero.
2417014
Just remember, morph doesn't use the stack. Split second spells can still be countered with Voidmage Apprentice, retargetted with Willbender, or otherwise manipulated by any other shenanigan-morphers that might be coming in Khans of Tarkir.
2417531
2417684
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"Wha... bacon? Shoot, no. Ah certainly don't sell no bacon to no griffins. Bloom, you go on an' play with yer friends."
...
"Okay, she's gone. Technically, Ah really don't sell bacon t' griffins. Ah sell hogs t' butchers... though some o' them are griffins. Look, when ya eat meat and yer home country's mostly mountains an' clouds, yer gonna have a lotta imports. Thank Celestia fer refrigeration magic an' that pigs don't think, that's all Ah got t' say on th' matter."
2419515 Wait, it doesn't? *checks rules* Huh, it doesn't.
Showstopper is still an awesome card
2419515 But dear, sweet Applejack, if you ever happen to go traveling to areas where the primary cultural mores aren't anti-carnivore/omnivore, you really should partake in a tiny* bit of bacon.
*I am explicitly leaving the definition of "tiny" open to interpretation for the purposes of this sentence.