Letter of Resignation · 2:22am Aug 26th, 2014
Author Note: I know I said I was going to post this next week but I can't wait much longer.
Good Morning,
This letter has been for a long time coming and I knew that at some point I would be sitting down to write this, I just didn’t think that day would come so soon. For the past two years I have made a small, insignificant name for myself and well...while I may not have been loved widely I was loved deeply and I think that’s more important.
As I write this, I have tears in my eyes and a hot chocolate stain on my faded denim jeans. I knew that this was not going to be easy, goodbyes never are. And I should know, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to make a difficult goodbye this year and that’s where this letter really begins. I should probably tell you the story of how I got this point and why I am leaving.
Two years ago, I was introduced to the show by my brother and when we sat down to watch I was all like: “We are seriously going to watch My Little Pony?” So as the theme song played I saw Rarity and thought “Yep that’s the villain.” I was wrong of course but I’ll tell you what, that girl watch the showing for the first time is not me.
The little girl watching the show had only just begun her long and difficult journey to adulthood. She had not yet experienced the excruciating pain of having your heart ripped out, over and over again. That timid, shy and naive youngster was nothing more than a little girl who had only just begun to blossom. She did not know that in just a few short years she would be wielding a sword and slaying dragons’ day in and day out. But most of all she did not know of the great challenges that laid ahead of her.
I did not know that when I started out that I would grow so much not only as a person but as a writer. Simply because I did not know that maybe, just maybe writing would be the one thing I was good at. Growing up we all go through our phases mine include painting, piano and modelling. Yet writing was something that just seemed to click, while I didn’t realise it at the time I had just discovered my gift.
For the past two years I’ve been polishing that gift and now, I think I’m ready. I didn’t see fanfiction as a full time career or occupation but rather a foundation in which to grow and learn. As I wrote more stories I even became very well acquainted with some of you and you all know who you are.
While I didn’t accomplish all that I wanted to during my time here on this site, I did make some friendships and truly grew as a writer. So many of you have given me the time of day and some of you were even kind enough to give me a nudge in the right direction. When I arrived here I was surprised by how many people were telling me that I was an okay writer.
But I still haven’t answered the question on everyone’s minds, why am I leaving? Well, that is explained with yet another story. Earlier this year my best friend left high school and nobody seem to give a shit about the fact that I was mentally screwed over. So when land mines were going off all around me it royally fucked me up. Eventually I recovered from depression but then my great grandfather got sick and things didn't look too good. I started homeschooling just days after my fifteen birthday and well...let's just say it isn't easy.
I don't have a lot of contact with my real life friends and so talking to people on here really helped me out. It seems people on here are more willing to listen and give advice than my friends are. Just recently I attended my first funeral and it seemed the universe finally cute me some slack and made it my uncle's. But before I attended the funeral which was last week by the way, I had to put my cat down after we found her unable to stand up. Turns out, she was hit by a car and had a shattered shoulder blade. It was going to cost thousands of dollars to fix her and well, we didn't have that sort of money. Especially since I'm one of five children, me being the only girl with four older brothers. The fourth is actually my brother's best friend but that's besides the point.
So what does a girl do when her life is in disarray? She turns to her own form of therapy, writing. Writing for me, was like therapy and gave me a sense of relief but unlike Absolute Anonymous I wasn’t writing every week and didn’t have the time, energy or mental stability to write nearly as much as I had hoped to.
Yet I still accomplished so many great things and I won’t deny that. I’m proud of what I’ve done but now, I think it’s time to take the next step. You see, I don’t just want to be a great fanfiction writer. Which is great and all but I want to be a professional author some day and well...fanfiction isn’t going to get me there.
It’s been a great two years and I’ve loved reading and writing so many amazing stories but now it’s time for me to begin the next stage of my life. My mandatory schooling ends in just a few months and next year I’m going to TAFE so I think it’s time to leave this whole ‘Crystal Secret the fanfiction writer’ identity behind. I’ve loved every second of my journey and I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world.
So if I’m not Crystal Secret then who am I? Well, obviously that’s not my real name but I would still like to share with you my true identity, or at least part of it.
Believe it or not but my real name is Laura and yes I am fifteen years old. I currently reside in the most isolated capital city in the world and if you can figure out where that is then you are one smart cookie.
Thank you to everyone who has been with me throughout this amazing experience and I ask a small favour of anyone who reads this, could you please pass this message on? Show it to your fellow writers and buddies. So the Fimfiction community may know of my departure? Much appreciated.
Don’t worry I will be on for a few more days in case anyone has any questions of queries but after that I must go. For those of you who are wondering, I will always be a part of the brony community and I hope someday to attend bronycon but while I won't have a room filled with plushies I will still be a brony at heart.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my stories as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.
I guess you could say that my departure from fanfiction is my ascension to Alicorn Princess. *giggles*
I leave you with one final note. One of my favourite songs of all time...
Your now former fanfiction writer,
Crystal Secret
P.S. If you wish to continue reading my writing I've got an account here: CrystalSecret14 under that name and so that's where I'll be posting my original fiction.
Well...shoot. You really have talent, you know that? D:
But I know how that feels too. I'd hate to call myself a good writer, but I've tuckered myself out so much to the point where I feel I just need to give up MY only form of therapy as well, and I do have to say it's doing a little better on my health. lol
But, if you ever DO decide to continue working your magic, I'll be very happy. If you don't, then I'll both understand and respect your decision.
2401863 I would like to thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
If you wish to continue reading my writing I've got an account on Storybird.com CrystalSecret14. This where I'll be posting my original fiction.
If I change websites I'll post a blog about here but for now that's where I currently reside.
2401882 That's good to know! I don't red too terribly often, but I bookmarked that link so I'll always have it handy. :3
Thanks! And you're plenty welcome!
Well, crap. Cerulean Voice has been telling me to read your stories, and it's now apparent that I should have moved them up on my reading list. Maybe I'll be able to read one or two before you go. If it's anything like the comment you left after reading one of my stories, it should be a joy to read.
Best of luck with your future endeavors! Perhaps someday I'll be reading your published books.
I picked a fine time to look at this site again
Best of luck to you lass. You'll make a fine author someday
2421585 I believe this as well.
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Well this is certainly embarrasing. Perhaps my letter of resignation was a little premature. By the way, my name is Arcelia and yes me and Crystal Secret are in fact the same person. But I decided to create a new account and start fresh. Which was about a month after I resigned. So if you are still interested in reading more of my pony fiction, which I must say is far better than anything I wrote as Crystal Secret, I write under this handle now if you wish to continue reading my work.
Thank you for continually supporting these past few years. I hope to hear again from all of you soon.
3512523 That's alright! It's healthy sometimes, to take up a new name, even for a while. I'm glad you'll keep at it, as you have a LOT of talent in doing it~
3512523 But I already follow you. :)