• Member Since 12th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 19th, 2019


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  • 274 weeks
    Future plans

    As some of you have seen, the next mini-story is up and it's meant to bridge the gap and catch up the story timeline to that of the actual show. I had to mishmash the canon line a little bit, but now I think it's (at least for the moment) synergized.

    Future plans.... Another story is being worked on as we speak and while I want to keep details in the dark, I will give a couple bits of info.

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    1 comments · 240 views
  • 274 weeks
    Regarding reviews

    You know, I find it almost comical how many people can just spam a dislike button on a story that's gotten tons of good reviews without even reading it or giving a bit of feedback on WHY they don't like it.

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    1 comments · 146 views
  • 275 weeks
    What really happens now?

    Well... after over 3 years of work.... IYCBEEE is FINALLY complete.

    Final word total: 177,180 in 26 chapters.

    So what are my plans for the future?

    I DO plan on writing more stories for MLP, but I may wait to post material until I'm further into the production process.

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    1 comments · 164 views
  • 275 weeks
    Reactions to the E.W.R.E.C.

    So it takes me a good 3 years of battling with a LOT of personal issues to get the festival itself up.... and already I've got critics....

    Can you guys at least tell me WHAT is your problem with the chapter so I can work on it? I thought I addressed a LOT of complaints....

    0 comments · 170 views
  • 278 weeks
    A legitimate and honest release date

    April 3rd, 2015.

    I am making a TON of progress on the story and I swear that even if it's not 100% done by that date, I will release in an unfinished form the new chapter.

    I know my updates have been few, but I've been dealing with a HELL of a lot of stuff in my real life! Mental problems, drug addictions...

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    1 comments · 174 views

1,000 readers! · 8:31pm Aug 16th, 2014

So I pop in to see how my story looks, as I try to make progress on chapter 25, and I see that IYCBEEE has done what no other story I've ever written (and I've been writing for over 11 years) has achieved.

I've had 1,000 bronies and readers see my story!

I want to thank you all for your support and care... and I want to reward you as well...

So I will be attaching another completed segment of chapter 25 at the end of this post... and I have some exciting news as well.

I'm AIMING, by the end of 2015, to have If You Can't Beat 'Em, Eat 'Em turned into a full-fledged fan-film. I've even got backing from Fanbuilt productions, run by the voice of Steven Magnet himself, Lee Tockar.

So now my question to all of you readers.... anyone up for helping make this story to life?

Just contact me if you're interested in a role as a V.A., Animator, Artist, or ANY other capacity or even KNOW someone who may be interested.

I am genuinely aiming to have the story completed by December. I know a LOT of complications have arisen in my real life and I thank you all for your support and understanding.

I will NOT be resting until the story is completed.

Anyways, here's another upcoming peek of the chapter to whet the appetites of the readers.

A couple things I want to point out.
In this timeline, Equestria Girls never happened. That reference in the first sneak peek was in fact a jab at it. In fact the timeline of the show itself and the story are intertwined... you could even say they're meshed together a bit. It's hard to explain and even I have significant difficulty in fully understanding it, but what helps for the story helps.
Second, I don't care what anyone says, I will not be straying from crude humor in ANY story I write. I will not compromise my beliefs and skills. Not saying there's gonna be massive vomiting in every single story of my caliber, but when there is... I will not be shying away from it. I have faith in you guys to be able to handle all of life, even the unpleasant stuff. That's why I don't believe in discretion shots.... well... most of the time. If it's for a joke or for a poignant moment or for something really vulgar (like the video in "Help"), I may make an exception.
Anyways... here's hoping you enjoy the second peeky-peek!
And again.... none of what I do could be possible without the help of Hasbro, Nintendo, and most of all.... my fans and friends....
To all of you.... I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
"Holy Frijoles!!! Would you look at all this!!!"

Again, Pinkie Pie's exuberance was to be admired, her head going 100 miles a minute as it took in all the wonders of the EFF. From the whirly rides to all the colored booths offering exotic and delicious foods to all the games set up, it was like she'd stepped in a little slice of heaven.

"It's beautiful!! It's so beautiful!!!", the party pony squealed as she zipped from booth to booth, trying desperately to figure out what to do first. This was what it had all been building up to and she was gonna live it up!

"Simmer down, sweetie.", Applejack coaxed her fellow earth pony, "We have a few things to do before we can start our fun... remember?"

The Element of Laughter pouted, but nodded in agreement as she and the rest of the group walked down the main dirt path. The whole festival had been set up akin to what Josh had told them was involved in the fairs back in his world. One section, named The Thrill Zone, had been fitted with a good many rides; from Zippers to Gravitrons to Fun Houses to Tilt-A-Whirls, to even a roller coaster, it all sat behind the gate, technician ponies manned at every control panel and bathrooms for those who overate and lost it on the more intense attractions, making it almost seem perverse to have them AT the festival in the first place. Another, referred to as The Midway, was fitted with every single midway game under the sun, all in brightly colored booths, manned by barker ponies, and all offering prizes like plush toys, paintings, outfits, even a couple shooting galleries offering guitars! Whether popping lightly-colored balloons with darts, trying to get baseballs into slanted barrels, or even something as simple as throwing rings onto sasparilla bottles, there was something there for every colt and filly to enjoy. The third section, known as The Cooking Pot, was where it was apparent that every pony chef, epicure, barbequer, everypony who ever picked up a set of cooking utensils, had set up stands to sample and sell their individual wares and delicacies. One booth, called Pinenuts Peanuts, was selling every kind of nut the Mane 6 could ever heard of. Another, labeled as Sweet Teeth Taffies, was offering chewy wads of sugar of all sorts, from salt-water to root beer to cherry to even buttered popcorn.There was even a booth called Meathead's Meats, complete with a giant grinder for making fresh sausage, although the front of it was boarded up with only a small hole big enough for ground beef to be put in, presumably to prevent any careless equine from falling into the grinder. For any pony to go there and say they couldn't find a single thing to eat, they would have had to have been the pickiest epicure in all of Equestria. But the main area... was something all on its own.

Called The Main Stage, a large wooden platform had been erected, standing a good 4 feet off the ground to where a significant amount of effort would have been needed to pull oneself on the wooden planks without using the two sets of stairs positioned at the sides. A large scarlet red, velvet curtain hung across the back on the large stages almost like what they would have seen at a low-scale puppet show or even at a freak show. The words 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIA-WIDE ROYAL EATERS CHAMPIONSHIP were emblazoned in silver fabrics along the middle of the large red carpeted backdrop. A large row of foldout tables and chairs, 10 in all, had been arranged in a neat little row at the middle and a microphone stand and podium at the head. And not a few feet away was a second stage, just as high, but lacking the chairs, tables, and lettering, only holding a set of drums, a couple of electric guitars, a mic stand, and what looked to be a large rollout screen, similar to the ones in any basic chemistry class.

Altogether, the whole of the festival looked like nothing short of a bustling city and capable of generating a large amount of bits if put into the right hooves.

"How...... the Hell....... WAS PONYVILLE ABLE TO AFFORD ALL THIS!?", Josh blurted out in astonishment.

"The EWREC committee, they pay for all of the rides, games, entertainment... only thing we pay to put in are the foods for the contest and The Cooking Pot."

Meowth took a large sniff of the mixture of all the aromas filling the air and rubbed his pudgy belly hungrily. "Do we, since we're da commentators, do we get ta eat fer free?"

"You do, Meowth.", Fluttershy smiled, "Just... don't overdo it.."

But the words had barely left her mouth before Meowth, Spike, and Pinkie Pie had all sped into the main thoroughfare, leaving their friends looking on and shaking their heads in amusement, Josh running his hand along his crop of messy dark black hair. He was spellbound as much as the girls at how expansive and vast the festival was. Just like with his original thoughts of what life in Ponyville would be like, his first thought of the EWREC was just the contest, maybe a booth or two on the side. He wasn't expecting an entire damn carnival!

"If they go this wild for a festival..", Josh joked, "I can't imagine what they do for new years eve!"

At this, all the ponies started giggling and whispering and he didn't know why he felt it, but he KNEW what they were giggling about.

"You ponies get bombed just like humans do... don't you?"

"I wouldn't say bombed...", Twilight spoke up, "But I have been known to put away a tumbler of cider and stay up til 9:30!"

"Man.... you really ARE a dork, aren't you?"

Hearing a gruff voice from the distance, Rainbow Dash turned in expectation and the group found themselves looking at the coy visage of Gilda Dellarosa Clawden. The avian's arms were crossed defiantly across her white and brown feathered chest and her leg was tapping almost impatiently, waiting for their acknowledgement, her beady brown eyes scanning over the group of six as though they were nothing more than autograph-seekers.

"Gilda!", Rainbow Dash cheered, rushing the avian and giving her a warm hug, her friend in tow.

"But I thought ya'll went back to the city to get more rese--", Applejack started to see, but Gilda cut her off with a simple raise of her claw as the pudgy pegasus relinquished her grip on the gryffin.

"Ya really thought I'd miss the culmination of all the training and seeing the truth be exposed?? I ain't missing this for all of Equestria!"

Josh just chuckled and gave a salute to the gryffin, one returned in kind. "Just like a suicide, huh Gilda?"

Gilda cocked her head to the side, as confused as the others as to the comparison.

"Beg pardon?", Applejack asked.

"She's just as determined to see a life end."

This produced a round of groans from the group, especially from the subject in question.

"Disregarding that rather morbid topic..", Rarity spoke up, "It's wonderful that you came to watch the contest!"

"Hey, if I'm trying to rekindle our bond, it's only natural that I come and cheer them on! But where's the dragon, cat, and pink bubblehead???"

Other than a slight dirty look, Twilight shook off the insult. "They're in the Cooking Pot area, sampling the delicacies. Since they're doing commentary for the contest, they get to eat for free."

Gilda just chuckled, her wings to her side. "You do know they're gonna end up puking before the contest, right?"

"What... makes you say that?", Fluttershy trembled.

"It ain't rocket science, wimp. Free food and fast rides equals heavy vomit. It's almost perverse to have them in such a close proximity."

As much as they hated to admit it, it wasn't that unlikely of a scenario, especially knowing the fact that, other than Rarity and Shy, they were ALL fans of the thrill rides. But at the moment, Dash and Applejack knew that they had other important matters to attend to.

"So Gilda, any idea where we go to get all registered for this eatoff?", Applejack asked, idly scratching her snout.

"Was just on my way there to scope out the contest and see if that fucker, Champagne arrived... Follow me."

With that, the gryffin led the pegasus and cowpony away down towards the main thoroughfare, leaving Josh, Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all looking at one another.

"Well I don't know about any of you, but I'm gonna do a little exploring, see if I can't find any exquisite dishes and recipes.", Rarity remarked before taking off towards the Cooking Pot section.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with her..", Twilight added, "Who knows, could find something good to make for Spike and I."

Watching the two unicorn take off, Josh and Fluttershy just looked at each other with a shrug, all their friends now scattered throughout the festival and leaving just the two of them alone.

"Wanna go check out the Midway?", Josh offered, "My treat on the games?"

Fluttershy just nodded softly and let the human lead her into where ponies and dragons and creatures of all kinds were trying their luck at various games of luck, skill, and chance...

All the while they, and all their friends, knew that in a few hours the utimate game of skill would commence...

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