Fic recs, August 8th! · 12:28pm Aug 8th, 2014
If you ever feel bad about your writing, just remember that I once wrote X-Files/World of Darkness fanfic starring my high school friends as LARPers, one of whom was actually a werewolf. I appeared in it, too, but don’t worry, I killed myself off in the first scene so it “wasn’t a self-insert”. Bringing this up because DancesWithBagelz read a very self-indulgent story written by a 16-year-old that is bad enough I’m not reviewing it, and I just had to remember that I was once 16 and self-indulgent myself.
Trivia time. Story #10 on Fimfiction is Accolade by Cereal Velocity, which I have reviewed previously.
Story #100 is Who Really Cries Happy Tears? by katsotse, which is a just-kind-of-okay LyraBon with very consistent its/it’s confusion. Most of it reads like fat fetish porn, but it does at least include Toola Roola. That’s honestly a saving grace. It’s marked incomplete, but the author’s notes suggest it’s more “complete unless people want more”. It doesn’t go anywhere though, so that one’s Not Recommended.
Story #1000 doesn’t exist, and #10,000 is password protected, but #100,000 is When Worlds Collide by Biker Dash, which is unfortunately on hiatus.
Useful information?
H: 2 R: 1 C: 3 V: 1 N: 2
Don’t Feel by ArgonMatrix
Reading by Pinkie Pie
Sadly, it’s just a name, not a reading style. He's rather muffled, and reads in a fairly monotone fashion, ultimately meaning that I couldn’t hear him over the water and he is thus not suited for my purposes, despite being serviceable otherwise.
Genre: Emotional
This is a perfect example of how emotional conflict can elevate the slice of life tag into the realm of “story with actual plot”. After the destruction of the Golden Oaks Books and Branches library, Spike is distraught while Twilight seems oddly stoic. He wants to hold on to the past, she’s hellbent on moving forward. Bam, conflict, plot. It’s a great look at how children and adults deal with loss, not to mention some of the best Twilight/Spike interaction written outside a Descendant story. There are a couple errors and one or two spots where word choice wasn’t tight, but for portraying a highly emotional scene in a completely realistic manner — the scene where Spike is introduced to his new bedroom is heartbreaking — this gets top marks.
Highly Recommended
The 18th Brewmare of Bluey Napoleon by horizon
Genre: Comedy
This won the “History Repeats” writeoff and boy was it deserved. This tells the story of Blueblood, in full Dear Idiot mode, irked that he can’t hit on barmares willy-nilly, and soon discovering that stallions have not as many rights as mares in Equestria’s government. So for the worst of reasons, he goes about starting a revolution to get stallions the vote. Along the way, we get a lengthy history of Blueblood’s family, explanations for how the Equestrian government works, and some soul-searching from one of the most loathsome characters to ever grace the show. It’s hysterical at every turn. Of particular note is Poncemercy, Blueblood’s friend, who’s every bit as stuck-up as Blueblood but far more agreeable, if only for his charming Britishisms. A much-beleaguered Celestia also injects some humor. Okay, just all the characters are good, let’s put it at that. And yes, it’s got footnotes, but he set those up well. The new epilogue only serves to extend the joke a bit further, but hardly overstays its welcome. This is just a top-notch comedy any way you slice it.
Highly Recommended
A Great and Powerful Legacy by Drake Clawfang
Reading by Goombasa
Genre:Twilight/Trixie Friendshipping
From the cover art and title, the story's main mystery is a mystery only to the characters: Trixie turns out to be the only living descendant of Star Swirl the Bearded. And that’s about all there is to this, really. The rest of it is enjoyable by virtue of some light character-driven humor: Spike is sarcastic and tired, Trixie finds new ways to be insufferable, and there’s a great running joke about Trixie’s crazy grandmother. Another positive is this ends up being about friendship in the end, finishing on a very high note. Being Star Swirl’s descendant isn’t really a major thing, as it turns out, but if you like Trixie, you won’t want to miss this one.
Recommended
She Woke to Für Elise by 71NYL-5CR4TCH
Reading by DrCoBrelia
Spoilers! Dr. Cobra and Brelia9794 eventually start a collab channel together. This is their first reading together, but I’m still using their shipping name. :V Brelia sounds like she’s got a stuffy nose, but she actually makes a good Vinyl Scratch. The disparity in recording quality between them is jarring, but there’s room, and time, for improvement.
Genre: ScratchTavia
I don’t know what it is I expect from ScratchTavia fics (beyond “no romance, please?”) What I think it comes down to is that the standard ScratchTavia narrative, at least in serious romance stories, involves happy-go-lucky Vinyl Scratch showing uptight, naive Octavia how to let loose and enjoy life. Every. Single. One, this one included. But what so many romance writers in this fandom fail to recognize is that a relationship is about give and take. Both parties need to have something to offer the other, and if it's one-way, it's not going to last. Anyway, this ends up being a fairly poor romance, even disregarding who’s in it. Vinyl gets a gig DJing at a dyke bar and meets Octavia, who’s just getting a drink there for not-entirely-disclosed reasons. Neither of them is gay, so of course they end up kissing by the end of the story. Vinyl gets drunk off her ass, Octavia takes her home to sleep it off, they talk in the morning and end up marefriends for exactly no reason. The final chapter then delves into Vinyl’s tragic past, which I absolutely did not care about by the time it came around. The major stumbling block is that of two characters meeting for the first time and falling in love. (Side note: I feel like the horrifically convoluted setup for their meeting is a testament to just how ridiculous these two are as a couple. Maybe that’s just me.) Given that they spend a lot of time stating that they aren’t interested in mares, the “romance” becomes even more unbelievable. Honestly, I can’t fathom what the point of this story was beyond “make two horses kiss at any cost”, and I can’t see anyone but a die-hard (and desperate) ScratchTavia shipper getting anything out of it.
Not Recommended
Mandatory Fun by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Dark Comedy
After seeing the cover of this, I had to read it. The idea of Cheese Sandwich wearing the Alicorn Amulet is bizarre enough; having it be told from his corrupted perspective is a massive head-trip. I found myself going, “This isn’t Weird Al!” but then, that’s sort of the point, isn’t it? Cheese ends up building an army and exiling the princesses with various party gags. (Honestly, the thought of what a non-unicorn can do with the Amulet is tantalizing.) If anything, I wanted this to be longer and from an outside perspective so we could see more; the idea is just phenomenal. I could have done without the Lovecraft reference; I could not have done with the album title puns. Honestly, a lot of my other concerns were lampshaded in the story itself, though I really have no idea what to think about the ending. I mean, none whatsoever. It leaves me baffled and not entirely satisfied also I think there’s implied CheesePie shipping at the end, which I am against), so be warned.
Recommended If You Like Cheese Sandwich
Mi Amore by Dusk Quill
Genre: Romance
Shining Armor’s attempt to wish his crush, Princess Cadence, a happy Hearts and Hooves Day is interrupted by another would-be suitor crashing through the window of her room. And that’s just the beginning! Sadly, the comedy wears off after a couple of chapters, but this does have a lot going for it. Fleethoof, the second suitor, is a great character, really jumping off the page in just a few paragraphs of interaction with Shining Armor during the second chapter. I do find it weird, however, that Cadence’s big thing in this story is asking the stallions to be honest with her, when she in turn plays games with them… in order to get them to be truthful. Her motives remain thoroughly opaque throughout the entire story, and it’s just a tad irritating, a hefty dose of battle of the sexes that makes this a bit of a bog-standard romance. So if I’m at all disappointed with this story, it’s because the first two chapters suggested it would take a very different path than it did. Also, this is apparently a side story related to the author's larger body of work, which might explain a few things like Fleethoof’s strong character and a couple anachronistic references to Princess Luna.
Recommended for Romance Fans
You Don’t Remember by Regidar
Reading by Scribbler, Wish Lotus and Fim4Ever
Sequel to If You Must
Genre: Sad
This story is a sequel to a sequel, neither of which I have read, and the highest-order of which is incomplete. (I’m not sure how you can do that.) That said, I don’t feel I was missing anything, but at the same time, this story is very weird. It’s about Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom reacting to the news that Scootaloo hanged herself (I wasn’t sure if she lived or not; she might have). The weird part is the narration: it talks in first-person, and addresses the reader, telling us how we might feel in the given situation. It goes off on tangents, it expounds on the five stages of grief (pleasantly, it mentions that that schema is not adequate to explain grief; I have recently read that the original study that produced the idea was majorly flawed and now I’m going off on a tangent), and it straight does not fit the tone of what’s going on. I expected this to end up being a comedy given how odd the narration is. My main complaint beyond that, however, is that this doesn’t give us quite enough. Given the title, the ending is telegraphed pretty well, so that Apple Bloom’s reaction isn’t a surprise. Ending the story there thus leaves us with nothing to chew on. What I wanted to see what the extent of what they forget, and how it affects their lives. There’s a sequel, so maybe that’s addressed there, but as a stand-alone story, this leaves something to be desired.
Vaguely Recommended
O Brother, Where Art Thou by Akumokagetsu
Reading by Sleipniiir
I like this guy. Good voice, good enunciation, and given that he starts off by saying his recording quality will only get better, there’s nothing to worry about in that regard because it’s already good. His one issue is a distinct need for editing: he left in all the swearing and commentary. With that said, even if you don’t care about fanfic readings or this story, you need to listen to this reading starting at 7:40 to listen to his meltdown. It’s kind of amazing.
Genre: Cute
Normally, I don’t go for pure cute things. Shining Armor playing hide and seek with his little sister qualifies as "pure cute", especially given a lot of scenes that happen in this. And yet, I can’t hate it. The actual writing is nothing amazing, and the author has a bizarre tendency to space between paragraphs at random. The oddest part of this story is the title: it’s actually Shining looking for Twilight, not the other way around as it suggests. Still, this accomplishes wringing out the “d’aww”’s, and, as I said, I somehow don’t hate it.
Recommended If You Like Cute Stuff
Don't Feel sounds awesome. I shall be thoroughly distraught if you disappoint me in this.
It does make me feel all gooey inside when someone mention's T.D.'s ability to write Spike and Twilight, though. He's still going through a pretty rough patch, as far as I can tell, and you can be sure I'll be forwarding this particular snippet to him.
Cheers, PP.
-Scott
Glad to see that my buddy Dusk Quill is getting more traction these days. If you really like Fleethoof, check out his SKyfall series. One of the later installments also features my character from Luminous Sky, Agent Bentgrass.
Yeah, Cheese Sandwich is not Weird Al much in the same way Twilight Sparkle isn't Tara Strong. Sure, his appearance and personality are more heavily influenced by Al, but the two are still distinct people. I'm sorry you were disappointed by the ending, but I wish you'd had mentioned that dissatisfaction in your comment. A "waht" doesn't tell me much.
In any case, thanks for giving it a look, and for the reviews in general.
2353458
Looks like I'll just have to read UaLS first! :V
2353475
To be perfectly honest, in my mind, Cheese is ponified Weird Al. A lifetime spent worshiping the man as a living god makes my relationship with that character extremely bizarre. This is why I don't go for shipping him or... pretty much anything else. But corrupting him with the Amulet made a lot of my hangups vanish.
Kind of disappointed the "O Brother" reference was just a title gag, because I love that movie and have long considered doing a Trixie/Flim/Flam story based on it, but could never settle on a solid plot.
And so, the one highly recommended that I haven't read yet is one I'm not going to read anytime soon, because I haven't come to grips with the destruction of the library and am prone to dislike any fic about that, regardless of how good it is
2353479
Nah, you can read the first three on their own... of course, I wouldn't say no...
Yay! Glad you liked the new material.
I'm kinda tempted now to write Scratchtavia where Octavia is the prim-in-public-crazy-in-private one and Vinyl is clinically OCD and somewhere on the autism spectrum (and just has a head fulla numbers, which is what makes her so great at her music).
2353658 in my slightly-above-mediocre taviscratch story I wrote fairly early on in my Fimfiction career, Vinyl is a huge introvert who basically only comes out of her shell when DJing.
But yeah, you tackled LyraBon; I'd love to see your take on this pair.
I think I might prefer Octavia and Vinyl Scratch just as friends or roommates as opposed to romantically involved, probably in the vein of the "friendships" in Red vs Blue.
You don't like cutefic? I shall pout now.
Also, did I read that right? The reader did a foul mouthed meltdown while reading something cute?!
I found it very odd that Scribbler chose to read a story that makes no sense without reading the other four stories I wrote that surround it (one of which is not finished, and a sixth and final story that is still to be written on the horizon).
People on youtube seemed to like it, though. Weird.
Anyway, I agree completely. That story as a stand-alone is weak, and barely makes any sense. With its companion fics, though... it becomes much stronger of a story.
Also, the writing style was me
ripping offemulating Daniel Handler.2353479
UaLS is definitely worth the read. It gripping and tense, and helps set the stage for Jake's character wherever he may appear!
Also, thanks a ton for the feedback, and congrats on being the first person to review Mi Amore! I'll definitely take your advice going forward and when editing.
Is there an actual reason you don't like Cheese Pie shipping even though he respects and admires her and looks kind of like a young Mr. Cake?
I mean I don't ship if the show don't ship, but they seem in no way unsuited for each other.
2353658
Get in line, you're at least the third person I've heard trying to rework their characters from the fanon versions.
Honestly, I'd just like to see a ScratchTavia with their canon personalities that makes goddamn sense. Make me believe these characters love each other. (Of course, I still haven't read Allegrezza, so who knows...)
2353760
I am 100% in agreement with this. Stories that have them at each other's throats are infinitely more appealing that shipping them. :D
2354019
I dislike stories with no plot that are designed solely to wring emotion from the reader, be it sadness, joy, anger, or "d'aww". And yes, the guy started messing up a bunch of passages, got caught on "cackled/tackled" and just lost it. I was amused.
2354377
You're welcome. :) And I'll be reading UaLS eventually. Like, more eventually than many other things I need to read. Jake's just impatient. :V
2354399
Because I consider Cheese Sandwich to be Weird Al in pony form, thus making him off limits for things like that. Much in the same way I dislike stories involving show staff characters. (Despite having written one myself.)
2354561
Vinyl's eyes aren't red, they're darkish pink.
2354566
k :B
2354561
Ah OK. Voice actor detachment failure. I gotcha.
2353658
Well, 'Unison: Spectacles and Shades' has the 'head fulla numbers' part, at least.
2354561
This is very true. Jake has patience issues. Don't let him use peer pressure on you! Well, if you ever decide to take on the rest of the stories with Mi Amore, I hope you enjoy!
2354345
> and a sixth and final story that is still to be written on the horizon
Would you PLEASE stop sneaking into my room at night and scribbling on my legs?! It's scaring the cats.
2355262 no man fuck you it's art