• Member Since 27th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 20 hours ago

Prak


Writer. Editor. Reader. Reviewer. Gamer. Armchair mafia kingpin. Trans-dimensional yodeler. Cthulhu's unplanned 667th son. Grand High Muckymuck of the Mystic Order of the Defanged Gerbil.

More Blog Posts95

  • 253 weeks
    5th Annual PC Gaming Giveaway

    He’s making a list and checking it twice, but he doesn’t care whether you’re naughty or nice. When Santa Prak comes to town on his birthday, all he wants to see is a PC in your house. And what’s he going to stuff your stocking with?

    Read More

    81 comments · 1,053 views
  • 305 weeks
    The Fourth Annual PC Gaming Giveaway! (CLOSED)

    Remember that time, back in 2015, when I decided to give other people gifts on my birthday? Good times, right? Right. Many games were given away, and I’m sure many hours of enjoyment were had by all who received them. If I’m wrong, don’t spoil my delusion. Just nod dumbly and keep reading.

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    89 comments · 1,230 views
  • 328 weeks
    A Completely Humorless Rant (with a bit of profanity) About Something I Hate

    Donald Trump arrived in my area a couple hours ago. People have gathered to listen to him speak. Other people have gathered to protest.

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    12 comments · 959 views
  • 357 weeks
    The Third Annual PC Gaming Giveaway

    Hello, you fine folks. I've come out of hiding to let you know the most magical day of the year has arrived once again. On this date, twenty-five years and a few dozen months ago, I first graced the world with my presence. Now, we all know most people are selfish bastards who only think about themselves on such occasions—and who can honestly blame them for being excited about a day when people

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    66 comments · 1,245 views
  • 407 weeks
    Badfic Slaughterhouse #27

    To the surprise of all, the doors of the Badfic Slaughterhouse have opened once again. Five stories await judgment. Which ones are worth reading, and which ones will be thrown into a grinder for your twisted amusement? Click the button below to find out.

    In this edition:
    —Rarity subverts expectations by not subverting expectations.
    —Twilight adopts Sweetie Belle.

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    11 comments · 1,188 views
Aug
6th
2014

Badfic Slaughterhouse #8 · 6:45pm Aug 6th, 2014

It's that time again, boys and girls. Uncle Prak has put on his Santa suit and brought a sack full of goodies for those of you who have been good. Too bad you've all been bad. That means you just get some coal reviews. Look on the bright side, though; at least they're not all badfics!

If you're enjoying these blogs, be sure to scroll to the bottom this time.

From rise to dawn, by main

UPDATE: The story has been deleted and the author has probably changed his name or something.

Tags: Romance, Tragedy, Dark, Comedy, Adventure, Alternate Universe

Rating: Teen

Length: 3,618 words (Cancelled)

Synopsis: Tirek’s on a rampage, and the only way for the heroes to stop him is to find the seventh Element of Harmony.

Review: What a way to start a new week. Well, here goes…

This piece of excrement makes a bad first impression right from the start by mentioning a “new element of harmony.” It has as many tags as the author could cram onto it, some of which look contradictory. The error-laden description doesn’t inspire confidence either. On top of all that, it invites hatred from a huge portion of the site by prominently displaying Flash Sentry on its list of characters.

Getting into the story, I found it to be even worse than I imagined. The telling is so severe that the only thing not told is that the reader should get out quickly, but the nonsensical phrasing and arbitrary use of punctuation should imply it anyway.

Verdict: If you printed this out and used the paper to line a bird cage, the bird wouldn’t crap on it because that would be an indignity to its poop. The story hasn’t gone anywhere yet, but I won’t be revisiting this trash to see what develops.



Stare Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, by Billy Mischief

UPDATE: Like the entry above this one, the story and author no longer exist.

Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Adventure, Anthro

Rating: Teen, Gore

Length: 1,365 words (incomplete)

Synopsis: A retelling of Star Wars with anthro ponies.

Review: When I said this was a retelling, I meant it. It’s practically a scene-for-scene, line-for-line ripoff. There are a few differences, like C3PO and R2D2 being replaced by Rarity and Applejack, so Applejack gets to speak instead of communicating via bleeps and squeals.

The “action” is laughable. It’s so tell-heavy that it’s impossible to be engaged, and it’s over in the blink of an eye. The characterization consists pretty much of the dialogue from the movie and nothing else. … Well, that’s not entirely true. Applejack speaks with that annoyingly exaggerated country accent that far too many of the authors in this fandom insist upon using.

The grammar is mostly okay, but there are a ton of misspellings.

Verdict: Prepare yourselves for a shock, kids. I loved it! For all the wrong reasons, mind, but I had a blast reading it. Every line was so inept that I couldn’t help but guffaw at the lack of creativity on display. If you think a fic can be “so bad it’s good,” you owe it to yourself to check this one out.



Dilemmas and Decisions, by kalash93

Tags: Dark, Slice of Life

Rating: Teen

Length: 2,616 words

Synopsis: Celestia must choose who to support in an international crisis.

Review: Full disclosure: I hate kalash’s guts for reasons which are not secret, but I won’t air them here. If you really want to know, ask in a PM or something. I’ll try to be fair to this story, but be aware that I do have a bias. I’m only reviewing it in the first place because someone sent me a link to it.

Being a libertarian, I find the subject matter in this story bothersome, as most libertarians favor non-interventionism, and this story is about Celestia deciding the best way to meddle in the affairs of Equestria’s neighbors. Putting that aside, however, the story paints a very minimal picture of foreign affairs. Everything is presented in black-and-white terms with every course of action’s benefits and consequences clearly spelled out. It’s never so simple in real life.

The simplistic portrayal of politics, however, serves to frame Celestia’s dilemma, which is about where to send her troops to die and how much her nation stands to gain from it. On its own, that would make for a dull story, but a bit of variety is provided in the form of Celestia talking to her guards about who they are and why they’re willing to fight and die for her. Unfortunately, those elements are dismissed at the end, so those scenes served no purpose.

The mechanics are generally passable, although there are some misspellings and purple prose, and the ponified names of middle eastern countries make venom spew from my nostrils.

Verdict: This is a boring fic which fails in its attempt to show a compelling scenario. People who are obsessed with politics—foreign affairs, in particular—may find something of merit here, but the simplistic and arguably naive presentation of the conflict will probably frustrate more than intrigue.



Lament, by Aquila Feather

Tags: Sad, Slice of Life

Rating: Everyone

Length: 2,321 words

Synopsis: Twilight visits the library’s wreckage and finds a letter.

Review: I try to give unknown authors a chance, especially if there’s an indication that their work might be good. I saw this on the list of new stories with a 6:0 ratio, so I thought it might be worth having a look.

And the very first sentence is a comma splice. My hopes were dashed in an instant.

From there, it’s a mess of awkward phrasing and poor punctuation. Most of the story is told, rather than shown. The letter itself is a jumble of meaningless, generic platitudes, and the identity of its anonymous author couldn’t be more obvious.

Verdict: No merit here. Avoid it.



How about a look at some of the stuff in the feature box:



Secrets Revealed, by RainbowBob

Tags: Comedy, Human

Rating: Teen, Sex

Length: 2,555 words

Synopsis: Twilight learns the origins of ponykind from an unexpected source.

Review: Bob wut r u doin?

If you’ve ever read a RainbowBob fic, you have a good idea about what to expect. If not, the first thing you should know is that Bob has a twisted and perverse sense of humor, and that’s exactly what this story delivers.

The characters are OOC, but since it’s played for laughs—your mileage may vary on the humor, of course—it can’t really be criticized for that. The guest character, whose identity I won’t spoil, is completely over the top as he spews a stream of ridiculous gross-out jokes.

The pacing is quick, moving from point to point without getting bogged down in minutiae or leaving important things unexplored. It’s short enough to provide a few cheap laughs without being a significant time commitment.

The mechanics are a bit shaky, and there’s a bit of awkward phrasing, but it’s plenty readable.

Verdict: If you like crude humor or RainbowBob in general, check this one out.



Twilight Turns Into A Red And Black Alicorn, by Syeekoh

Tags: Random, Slice of Life

Rating: Everyone

Length: 1,763 words

Synopsis: Twilight turns into… Oh, just look at the title.

Review: This is a premise that should deliver some good meta humor, even if it has been done before. The jokes practically write themselves. Here’s my take on it:

Twilight turns red and black overnight. She can’t wash the color out. She tries to dye it, but the color won’t stick. In frustration, she shaves it off, but it grows back within minutes. She goes out into town and ponies freak out because they think she’s a new villain. Led by her friends, the ponies chase her back to the castle, where Spike explains the situation to them and says that he likes the new colors. Some of the ponies (especially the colts) agree that it is kinda cool, and they all leave. Twilight writes to Celestia, Luna, or Cadance and finds out that it’s a prank Discord played on all of them, but it will wear off after 24 hours, so she goes to bed. She wakes up to find that she’s back to normal, but she’s started a new fashion trend, and half of Ponyville have dyed themselves red and black.

Unfortunately, that’s not the direction the story goes. It takes this ridiculous concept and plays it completely 100% straight, even ending on a bit of a downer. It feels like a wasted opportunity because there’s no identifiable message or meaning to the story, and it lacks any significant resolution.

Mechanically, it’s passable. It has issues with comma splices and a few other punctuation quirks, but it’s readable.

Verdict: The idea behind this story could be hilarious, but this execution left me cold. I can’t bring myself to recommend it, but if the concept alone is enough to draw your attention, regardless of its direction, have a look. Maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did.



Temporary Measures, by ambion

Tags: Adventure

Rating: Everyone

Length: 4,685 words

Synopsis: Twilight and Pinkie hatch a plan to recover the books that were lost when Tirek blew up the library.

Review: I’ve read some of ambion’s work before, and it’s always been reasonably good, so I had high hopes when I opened this one up. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, though.

Mechanically, it’s close to the upper end of the scale, at least insofar as you’d expect to find in fanfiction. It has quite a few goofs—missing commas between independent clauses and modifying phrases, too many adverbs, some confusing LUS, and it could stand to have some of the excessive verboseness trimmed away—but they’re not enough to detract from the experience of the average reader.

The characterization is strong, and the author uses Pinkie properly—wacky without being a force of utter randomness—and Twilight’s portrayal is somewhat muted, but still accurate to her canon personality.

The problem I had is that the conflict hardly qualifies as such. Sure, there’s a problem to be solved, but no serious obstacles are presented, and the whole thing ties itself up neatly with hardly any sense of effort or accomplishment. Also, Pinkie may have been in-character, but she didn’t really play a part aside from planting an idea in Twilight’s head. From that point, she’s not needed for anything. Any other character could have been put in her place, and it would have worked just as well.

Verdict: It’s a decent way to pass a few minutes, but it’s nothing amazing. Read it if you’re interested in seeing some post-finale fallout, but don’t expect anything special.



Want to see me take a shot at a particular story? Make a request in the comments.

Rules:
—It can be yours or someone else’s.
—You can request a story of any length, but I won’t guarantee that I’ll read anything over 10k words, and if I do, I might not read all of it.
—One request per person per review post, and only on the most recent one. No retroactive requests.
—If I don’t like your story, don’t be butthurt over it. It's just one guy's opinion, and I'll probably recommend it for someone.

Comments ( 15 )

I appreciate everything Ambion writes, so it really didn't surprise me that I liked Temporary Measures. I've found that some stories I read from certain authors don't match my mental image of what the story should be, but if I go back and read what it is, instead of what I want it to be, sometimes it turns out to be better than I had thought in the first place. Ambion is one of these writers. (As well as Bad Horse and GoH) They make me think.

If you're feeling ambitious, I still haven't gotten a proper review on Diplomacy by Other Means. Warning though: It's big, and bloody (although I tried my best not to make it depend heavily on previous works)

2348723
I'll add it to my list and try to get through it over the next few days.

You have a good point about the way stories are versus the way we want them to be. In this very blog post, I was rather harsh on a story (the black/red alicorn one) which fit that bill. I think I was justified in saying that it lacked meaning and payoff, but other people are clearly enjoying it. Then again, that's why I only downvote stories that I find to be devoid of merit or just plain offensive. I regard it as a warning to other readers, not a form of feedback for the author, and that one might not have earned a green thumb, but I didn't give it the red one, either.

2348785 Yep, I hit that with The Young Filly and the Sea. Some people 'got' what I was trying to do, while some people were just determined to make it into something totally different than what I was trying to convey, and that spawned more than a few "How dare this story wind up in the finalist list" comments and reviews. That, and I was shipping Twilight, which might have had a little something to do with the waifu hate :twilightoops:

Comment posted by TheWraithWriter deleted Aug 6th, 2014

Giving a comment whore an opportunity to recommend his own work? Do you also give Alcoholics scratch tickets?

If you so wish to review something, If you have sex with a changeling that looks like your beloved and you didn’t know and you end up having a child together, does it count as cheating? has a really long title.

2349083
Actually, that one has been in my Read Later list for months. It's a good reason to finally check it out.

Perhaps I can persuade you to put one or two of my stories on your review list... :pinkiesmile:

2349148
Link one, and I'll add it to my reading list.

2349152
What are you in the mood for? Cute, snarky, or a clop parody? :pinkiehappy:

2349163
That depends on how cruel you want me to be. I'm slightly lenient on snark, picky about parody, and downright vicious to cuteness.

2349190
Well, the snarky story is the most highly-rated out of the bunch...

I'll see how you feel about that one, and then maybe I can twist your arm into reading others down the road. :scootangel:

2349219
It's already on my list, but I just bumped it to the top.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

A little sponge told me you do fic reviews, so it looks like you get to go in the pile! :V

2390075
That little sponge is such a sweetheart. He also brought your reviews to my attention, so I'll return that favor.

I'm a little sad that he didn't point out JohnPerry's reviews also, though. For shame, Bob.

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