Regarding My Previous Blog · 8:50pm Aug 4th, 2014
As my last blog (now deleted) stated last night, I was in a bit of a mental downfall. As such, it made me say a few things that I was feeling, but didn't really mean. I hate to keep putting you all on this emotional roller coaster, but it ends here. Right fucking now. I'm still going to be seeking help for my issues (made an appointment with a counselor/psychiatrist today), but I did some deep thinking throughout the day today, since I was off work, and I came to the conclusion that I just can't leave. It hurt me to think that I'm abandoning you, my followers and my friends. I never thought that I would have made such great connections with all of you, or at least those of you that I talk to on a regular basis (I'm naturally anti-social), and you all mean the world to me. Granted, I'm sure that I'll probably never meet any of you in person, but I'm happy to have you all rooting for me, even when I'm [figuratively] dragging you down with my complaining. I'm sure some of you, if not all of you will say "let's see how long this will last before he goes back down the shitter again.", but I can assure you that I mean business. I realize that stressing over people and things that I have no control over isn't healthy or even remotely sensible. Losing several followers/fans from my inactivity and last night's blog has punched me in the gut, and it honestly hurts me emotionally to see people leaving.
So this is where I stand: I'm going to limit my time spent on the site, so that I don't punish myself by looking at successful writers and/or their stories. I'm going to get to writing the next chapter of Wilted Flower, even if I have to chain myself to whatever solid object is nearby, so I don't have the opportunity to "escape". I plan to hopefully write the entire chapter out tonight, and have it published, after I have my editors go through it and help me make it the best it can be.
I'm not going anywhere. I'm not abandoning my stories; I'm not abandoning the ponies (I love them too much), and most importantly, I'm not abandoning you all. I may still disbelieve when people say that my writing is "amazing" or "great", since I'm humble and don't really feel comfortable taking compliments, but I'll accept them for what they are and learn to use them to my advantage, rather than thinking of them as just everyone being "nice"
Again, sorry for the outburst last night, and thank you to those who have stuck around for your help and support. I love you all!
Glad to hear that you are staying with us
I didn't noticed your last blog, but I suppose it wasn't a good thing. Glad to know you're okay though.
Yeah, those mental chemical imbalances can be a bitch to deal with; trust me, I know. Making an appointment with an actual doctor was the correct thing to do though. Professionals like that have the schooling and experience needed to deal with people like us and all our anxieties.
Getting the proper medication to handle the imbalances will help. The only real advice I can off is: smoke weed. Not a lot of it, not even some of it, just a little each day to keep your thoughts normal and under your control. Glad you were able to pull yourself out of your funk before you did something you might regret. Hang in there, and I hope you get to feeling better.
OUTSTANDING! That's what I want to see! I'm glad to know you're sticking around.. by the way I'm re-following you cause... well I can... and... Yup that just happened... FOLLOWED! Now get to writing and make sure you enjoy it like I said! Never forget to write because you love it and you love those who enjoy your stories! That's what's most important!
Glad to hear it. You know we're all only trying to help you, we don't like to see you hurting.
This is the best news I've had all week.
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I [thankfully] deleted it when my mood brightened