Karmic justice, or, The Celestial Empire Strikes Back

Monday, I posted a story in which Celestia limps a mile and then drags her crippled body another mile down the Road.

Saturday at Bronycon, I twisted my ankle and lost my keys, so that I had to limp on crutches from the emergency room half a mile back to my hotel at 4:30 am, then to the con in the morning, back to my hotel to search for my keys, back to the con to search there, a quarter mile to the other end of the convention center to check the place I thought I lost them, back to the other other end of the convention center to check the lost and found, and back to the hotel again, where I finally found my keys.

I had shoulder surgery recently, so today my shoulders are in too much pain to use crutches anymore. I'm crawling around my house on all fours.

Nice one, Celestia.

(Actually, it is karmic justice. For me being stupid.)

Comments

[archonix]

And I bet you remembered every other time you lost your keys as well.

[Titanium Dragon]

Well that sucks. I'd recommend stopping before you go full slug. Never go full slug.

[Prak]

I like MLP as much as the next guy, but living as a quadruped is taking it a bit too far. If you plan to stick with it, though, you should consider getting horseshoes for your knees. Also, beware of toddlers. The ones that want to ride you are bad enough, but some of the more mischievous ones can constitute a gelding hazard.

Tasteless joking aside, that sucks. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Skywriter]

Holy ouch, BH.

[Emptybee]

I'd advise cutting back on the evil until you heal up. Karma appears to be in a vindictive mood.

[Hap]

Oh shit. Is that how karma works?

brb, gonna seriously edit my Flashlight shipfic.

(Seriously though, best wishes on the ankle. And the shoulder.)

[shalrath]

Oy, talk about adding insult to injury.

Glad to hear you found them and got home mostly in one piece.

i.imgur.com/71CbY.jpg

[Kicks Mcgee]

2343058
Oh it's doable, but only if you have a worrying amount of Vaseline at hand.

[Axis of Rotation]

Wat.
And you didn't ask any of us in quills and sofas to help you look? You could've just waltzed limped in there and organized a search party! >:[ What's the magic of friendship if you can't get help with limping five miles back and forth?

And I am being serious. Ask next time! There were plenty of authors who know you. They'd be happy to help! And so would I (had I actually met you by then of course xD )

[Bad Horse]

2343196 static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Come+here+ms.+piggy..+http+www.amazon.com+Passion-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant-Gallon+dp+B005MR3IVO_9a363b_4965325.png

[Karach]

2343255
I bet you have several more cans barrels tubs in your basement.

[Honeycomb]

2343255

Immediately thought of this quote from Barthelme's A Manual For Sons.

When fathers are giving their daughters their “health” instruction (that is to say, talking to them about the reproductive process) (but this is most often done by mothers, in my experience) it is true that a subtle rinse of desire may be tinting the situation slightly (when you are hugging and kissing the small woman sitting on your lap it is hard to know when to stop, it is hard to stop yourself from proceeding as if she were a bigger woman not related to you by blood). But in most cases, the taboo is observed, and additional strictures imposed, such as, “Mary, you are never to allow that filthy John Wilkes Booth to lay a hand upon your bare, white, new breast.” Although in the modern age some fathers are moving rapidly in the other direction, toward the future, saying, “Here, Mary, here is your blue fifty-gallon drum of babykilling foam, with your initials stamped on it in a darker blue, see? there on the the top."

[Horse Voice]

...Ouch.

It's times like these it seems the universe has a sense of humour, and not always a good one.

[TheJediMasterEd]

So you've gone full Shetland on us? RESPECT!

(Um, seriously--you made it home OK, right? )

[Westphalian_Musketeer]

2343070 Most toddlers try to give themselves concussions by bashing their heads into my kneecaps.

As for the blog itself, I write Celestia as essentially the hyper-intelligent and planning motherly figure she is.

[Jordanis]

You spoke your true name under the light of the sun, didn't you?

She hears.

[Solitair]

You did a good job hiding your problems from the rest of us at the con (aside from having to use crutches). Sorry to hear that you had a problem like that, and also that I didn't notice you got hurt.

[horizon]

But the story's about hope!

No, too soon. Too soon. I am a bad person. Sorry.

Sorry to hear about the ordeal, and best wishes for your recovery. That's the important thing.

[Georg]

So I guess your next story will involve cake and winning the lottery?

[Titanium Dragon]

2343255
It's too expensive. Maybe if they sold it in bulk, it would be cheaper. Maybe a three pack...

[Bad Horse]

2343506

You did a good job hiding your problems from the rest of us at the con

I realized that if I'd shown weakness, you'd have torn my throat out.

[Solitair]

2343664
How dare you keep your delicious blood from me, sir.

[Applejinx]

I hope, since you aren't likely to feel better soon, that you feel at least some manner of improvement soon, and better in due time.

I can decoy Celestia away from you. I set up Q&S on Sunday as if Luna's New Lunar Republic had taken over her table and exiled her to Pinkie's Table Fun.

[Southpaw]

So at the next Con you need to draw a line at the doorway and recite:
"Let's try this one more time."

Hope you're feeling better soon and damn, I'm glad you finally found your keys!

[GhostOfHeraclitus]

Ow. My sympathies. Hope you'll heal soon

I'm at least glad you yourself are safely home now, if heavily indisposed, and that the Bad Horse Jag (pound for pound, the coolest car on the planet) has been safely recovered.

And this is not revenge. Celestia is kind and forgiving. She bears no grudges, exacts no vengeance. As a result of these traits, and others like them, she has quite a lot of ponies who are devoted to her and don't like to see her slugified in fiction.

And some of those are creative...

[Jordanis]

2343664

You nearly got shanked by scissors anyway. BronyCon is a very dangerous place. You have to out-hug somebody, or bust out a Pinkie Pie song, or throw down in a game of TSSSF to establish respect as soon as possible.

[Admiral Biscuit]

I would either have helped you look for your keys or hotwired your car. All you had to do was ask!

[Bad Horse]

2344916 Everybody was gone by the time I was sure I couldn't find my keys.

[Kagitaar]

That's some shit luck.