Guize, This Is Serious News · 1:31am Jun 6th, 2012

As you may have all noticed, there's been a distinct lack of updates by me. Yes, this is true. But not entirely my fault. Because, as you see, my muse left me.

It was very sad tale indeed. We met when I wooed her with possible tales of detectives and space things. She was happy, I was writing things. It was a grand old time. but out of the blue she came to me and said, "Johndoe, this is lame, write better things."

And I sayz to her, "Baby..., don't leave me! I can do better!" and she just rolled her eyes and left me.

Muse-less writing is hard, ladies and gentlemen, I won't lie to you.

And if any of you happen to know a muse that is free and looking for an author, don't be afraid to tell her, she'll appreciate your honest words and thoughts of her.

Honestly, I'm still good for jokes! Like, like... How about airplane food, huh? That stuff's good, right? Maybe they aren't all winners, but no muse, remember?

I know, videogame jokes are easy! So I won't make one. I may be without a muse...

I digress! Here's one that's sure to raise the roof with merriment and mirth. So I just flew in from Massachusetts and boy, are my arms tired!

Laughing yet? I bet you are. That was a good one.

Okay, I realize you may be having doubts now, like, "How is this man?" "Is he crazy?" and "When is my story coming up?" And yes, to all of them.

So I'm driving right? And I've got the windows down, and my stereo's playing Adele's latest hit(because I'm a man) quietly(got an image to uphold) and it starts to rain. And I'm getting looks because it might at well be a monsoon and my windows are still down, and I wonder why everyone's making such a big deal!
It's like I'm taking a shower but with clothes on. I guess when the clothes come on we start to hate water. "Oh, hey human," says water, "Want to hug?" and the man's like, "Sure, just let me get naked." I think that's weird. If this was a relationship we'd feel bad for water. Water comes all the way down from the sky to give us hugs and we tell it to go away and come back another day. How rude is that? I think we should embrace water! When it's raining put on some clothes and run outside and yell "I love you too, water!"

I do that every time it rains.