• Member Since 14th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2015

Amy Clockwork

Writer and Project Lead for Then the Shadows Whisper, FiM Fiction Enthusiast and Reviewer, Lover of Ponies


FiM Fiction Review: The Equestrian Origins Trilogy (Part 2): Keeper of the Crystal Heart · 4:18pm Jun 23rd, 2014

I couldn't help but notice the streak of negative reviews I've been handing down recently. Like I've said many times in the past, giving out low scores is not something I'm particularly proud of, even if it is in the job description. Nevertheless, I marched forward through Cerulean Voice’s Keeper of the Crystal Heart desperately hoping this story would break this trend. To put it bluntly: it doesn’t. Keeper of the Crystal Heart has many glaring issues which make the whole thing come off as weak and sloppy. More tragically, many of these problems lie at the core of the story. With its bland characters, convoluted conflicts, and poor pacing; I can't say I would recommend it. Head below the break for the full review of Keeper of the Crystal Heart by Cerulean Voice.

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Keeper of the Crystal Heart by Cerulean Voice
Complete! (Completed on 27th Nov 2013)

In the aftermath of the first Hearth's Warming Day, harmony between each pony tribe has been newly re-established. Yet upon the dawning of Hearts And Hooves Day a teacher, student, cloud-controller and farmer will accidentally unearth a nefarious plot to destabilize harmony once more. What they discover along the way about their history, their futures and the implications of power will shake the foundations of Equestria.

The price of such power is indeed steep...

Read it here.

Tags: Adventure - Rating: Teen (for mild violence)
Word Count: 66,872 words total - The Equestrian Origins Trilogy

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Read the full review here.

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Comments ( 6 )


I know it's fundamentally wrong of me to enjoy knowing that somebody else's story has gotten a bad review, but I actually had to force myself to read a bunch of it when I was in a "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours, but with reviews in comments" group, and I couldn't even manage to stop that stupid thing!

And what's worse, I still see it on Equestria Daily and such, compounding my aggravation!
Never seen it in the featured box, though...I wonder why :trollestia:

But seriously, when after five chapters the reader still doesn't give an absolute damn about the characters, that's when you know a story is bad.

While I'm happy you agree with my review, I can't help but reel in disgust at a comment so.. aggressive. Nevertheless, it's not my place to judge. :twilightsheepish:

I agree with your final comment, however. Characters are a fundamental mechanic in writing and it's a huge oversight in Keeper of the Crystal Heart, as I said in the review.:unsuresweetie:


Meh. It was...cathartic, I suppose. Knowing that something I felt very strongly about wasn't actually just in my head was vindicating.

Seeing it pop up on Equestria Daily every once in a while and seeing I was pretty much the only one who was having issues with it in the comments was making me triple guess myself...and being forced* to read something is the fastest way to develop a strong hatred for it.

*I wasn't actually forced; or rather, I forced myself to do it. Due to how the group/agreement of "Authors helping authors" is set up, it is considered customary to review someone's story after they review one of yours...and even then, finally breaking that social norm and leaving it unfinished once I realized I was using my scarce free time to do something I disliked took a bunch of willpower.

I understand.

A character from one of my favorite films, 12 Angry Men, once said: "It takes a lot of courage to stand alone." And I agree, it is hard to not second guess yourself when you're the only one. However, with this in mind, I believe expressing your opinion respectfully :scootangel: makes a big impact. And if the author- or anyone else, in this case- doesn't agree with what you had to say, then so be it. :raritywink:

You said what you needed to say. :twilightsmile:


I actually did a theater production of that! I was #7 (the guy who had tickets to a ball game and which is implied to have changed his vote just to "get on with it")

Oh really? It's an absolute classic! :pinkiehappy:

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