TWP FAQ · 12:00am Jun 19th, 2014
Everything you wanted to know about The Wandering Physicist Adventures (TWP) but were too afraid to ask (and several that Tibbles asked for you…)
WARNING: This is written from the viewpoint of the end of the story so some answers may contain spoilers. (That’s bad.) But it comes with a free frogurt! (That’s good.) The frogurt is also cursed. (That’s bad.) But is comes with your choice of toppings! (That’s good.) The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (... That’s bad.)
There are many large pictures in this FAQ. You are warned.
Basic questions: (For a new readers)
I found a factual/grammatical/spellign/etc error!
Good for you! Kindly note it in an inoffensive manner either by an innocuous comment or PM, and I’ll thank you.
How does this story relate to the show?
It is set at an indeterminate time shortly after the end of the show (or thereabouts).
What is considered ‘canon’ background materials for this story?
The show (duh), Equestria Girls (as long as it involves a character who travels between both worlds), the comics (with some changes to fit continuity) and selected fan works.
The only elements from EqG that fit (so far) are that Twilight went and came back as well as Sunset Shimmer’s background. The Nightmare Rarity arc has to be adapted a little since it features pre-Season 2 Luna, the Cake Twins (born in season 2), The Great and Apologetic Trixie and Lightning Dust (Season 3) and one panel has a flashback where Twilight has her princess hair curl (post-Season 3). Fan works referenced are linked back to their sources and/or mentioned in the Author’s Notes. The books are not included (except for Pinkie’s family’s names, which are awesome!) since 1) novelizations are never canon and 2) there were so many continuity flaws in the first Twilight book for it to count in any form of canon.
Where should I start?
Personally, I would say start at Crossroads and work in either direction, but starting from the beginning is good too.
Who are the main characters?
The ones getting the most appearances or having the most chapters devoted to their exploits are:
The Wandering Physicist aka TWP aka James Wanderer, Tsukiyo Rei aka former Princess Full Moon, Del Wanderer (in the last 35 or so chapters), Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Strawberry Souffle aka Stormy, Marble ‘Inkie’ Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack
Who were your favorite characters to write for?
Pre-Crossroads: Twilight vs Luna
Between Crossroads and This Day in Ponyville: Rei
This Day in Ponyville onwards: Del
(In the sequel: Starlight! Or Alba)
Holy crow! This got shippy fast!
I know. I hate it. I made several comments throughout the series either on chapters, in Author’s Notes or in blogs. I wish it didn’t happen, but I was in over my head too fast. Please forgive me. Everypony is more or less monogamous by the sequel.
What does The Power Block look like?
The Nerd District. It seems rather large and thought out. Do you have a map of it too?
Ugh. Give me a bit.
Advanced Chapter-based Questions: (For readers with more than a few chapters under their belt.)
What’s with the humanized chapters?
They started as a joke with Well, This Happened as a ‘Ha ha! Fooled you!’ fake out that then really did happen in A Well-Earned Break. (Interlude: it was so damn annoying to ponify that story.) I had too much fun writing the first story that I started writing humanized chapters as Lyra’s fan fiction. I tried to have a reason why the chapter was written as humans, but sometimes the reasoning was loose at best. Consider them a short interlude to the action.
Can you explain this whole Origins thing?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: It is complicated, and I barely get it myself. Settle in.
During James and Twilight’s wedding in the RoH universe, Daleks invaded and destroyed Ponyville. (Skipping to the last TWP chapter: This was averted by the Eleventh Doctor as a wedding present, as opposed to the RoH Tenth Doctor failing.) During the attack, they killed all the Elements of Harmony except Pinkie Pie. When Twilight was killed, James rushed out to her body and was killed as well. He regenerated to become the Discord of his universe and ripped the universe a new one by wiping the Daleks out in a massive genocide. (Skipping to SCS: It is revealed that this universe-new-one-ripping sent an imprint of RoH Discord’s mind through a rift and imposed itself on our Discord, giving him memories of his life as RoH TWP. This confusion has stayed with our Discord ever since.) The RoH Discord used the last of his regeneration energies to transfer the James part of his mind to Twilight’s body causing him to become James Sparkle (hint hint). The RoH Doctor then took Discord to the past and put him in his place in history.
Our Discord’s history is covered in TWP and even more in SCS.
What is page 137?
According to a copy of The Joy of Sex I found, that page has various oral sex tips and techniques. In the context of this story and its sequels/prequels/spin-offs, it involves penetration of one of the mares since that is how ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ gets pregnant.
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From here down, the questions are handled chapter by chapter.
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Which came first Pest Control or Gaming is Magic?
Well… Pest Control came first chronologically, but it was the third chapter I wrote. I know. I was only three chapters in and started writing chapters nonlinearly.
Where does James keep the tea, just in case The Doctor shows up?
It is in the back of the cupboard, near where Rei keeps her favorite cereals so it is easy to spot.
What are the ‘correct’ answers to James’ interview questions?
They are hidden in the answers given. Go ahead and figure it out.
Filling Time is great!
It was a filler chapter. I have no idea why it became plot relevant, but it is a filler chapter because I had no other plans.
Will Rarity ever teach a ‘proper lady’ class again?
Maybe. It is a good diversion, and there are more fillies (and some colts) that may enjoy it.
How does James know about humans?
Uh… He is an universe-exploring time traveler. Maybe that is how.
What is the secret about the necklace James and Rei gave Luna?
The necklace contains a holographic message for the princesses explaining pieces of Rei's and the RoH universe's backstory that they were not informed about during Rei's debriefing. That includes things like Celestia's demise, the fate of Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony and Rei's lineage. Things Rei would have been too scared to share on her own. At least, that is what my notes say.
Does the cruise in the story really exist?
Yes.
How can I go to there?
Follow Jonathan Coulton and watch for JoCo Cruise Crazy
How come you never showed Sea Legs? What if he had another great battle that involved Twilight’s, Lyra’s and Rainbow Dash’s fathers earlier in his life?
Shh! Future past spoilers!
What day was James’ and Twilight’s first date?
The day between Feb 13 and Feb 15.
What is RSI?
It stands for Rei-Stormy-Inkie. It is the teenage equivalent of the CMC. Just their buddy adventure group of outcasts out to have fun and be with friends for the first time in their lives.
Wait. Whoa. Celestia knows about humans too?
Of course. She has lived with that mirror to Equestria Girls since the time of Star Swirl (who invented the damn thing) which was before banishing Luna. I’m pretty sure she would have peeked through at least once.
Should I convert to Linux?
As long as you are not a heavy gamer or can wait for it to be ported (which is very likely with the hype around SteamOS), then Linux is just as good for everyday tasks that Windows and OSX can do. Not to mention, regardless of OS, the better programs are GNU, freeware and open source. All of my stories you have read so far have basically been written in Chrome using Google Docs.
Apple of whose eye exactly?
I have no idea what you are talking about.
Is this all we’re going to get with Alphonse? What if there is some sort of incident between him and another mobster that requires Night Light and Amelia to team up and bring them down?
What is it with you and future past spoilers?
Why didn’t Octavia turn to other Assassins for help? Why form the Trio?
Octavia prefers to work alone. She doesn’t even like asking for help from her handler. Lyra and Silver are the best at what they do. Plus, they are performers. She knows how to judge them, and that she can trust them. Not to mention, she has problems with other Assassins…
Holy crow! A nuclear bomb?! How could they have come up with that?
… If the fifth amendment existed in Equestria, James would have to take it.
Wait! What?!
Nothing, but it was pretty Daring of you to ask…
Why did you make Equestria a parliamentary system?
I LOVE parliamentary systems! Even if they don’t win many if any seats, smaller parties have a bigger voice and the prospect of coalitions means more political concessions between parties (in theory). If I could combine a strong parliamentary system with the US Constitution, I would use that as my choice of government.
Did James use time travel to mess with Celestia before they met?
Yes and no. Yes from Celestia’s perspective. No from James’. In the future, she inspired him to go back and bug her in the past. Bit of self-fulfilling prophesy.
Did any good come from Fluttershy pretending to be James’ wife?
Rei gained a positive mother figure for the first time in her life. Given how much James loves his family, making his daughter happy has to be a something great to come from something so bad.
Why is Fillies and Colts the only chapter you would drop from the story?
Do you really want Scootaloo’s backstory to include a racist, misogynist, child-abusing father? If so, go read something else.
How was the FLCL chapter a RSI chapter too?
In Japanese, there is no difference between how ‘l’ and ‘r’ are pronounced. Thus, Lucas became Rucas and would be pronounced the same. Just a trick with the language.
Is there really a penis shrine?
Yes. I learned about it from a hentai manga, but it is really a thing. An Idiot Abroad 2 went to one in Thailand(?).
Sandwiches? Really?
Sandwiches are serious business, yo.
That wasn’t 137 scenes about H&H Day! I want my money back!
You mean I could be paid for this? Now I feel ripped off.
Where was Maud in the Pinkie’s family chapter?
She wasn’t even hinted at when the chapter was written. Look for her later.
Yay! Diamond and Del have brought Changeling Equality to us!
Whoa! Settle down. Do you know how long these things take? It would take at least seven years for any major advances. At least Ponyville can be a bastion of equality by then.
Did you really write a clip show?
Bow before my mastery of writing something that cannot exist in a non-visual medium! Tremble in fear below me! … Actually, it is ⅓ new material in both number of deleted/extended scenes and word count. Lots of important background gets revealed too.
So, your Time Lord Marty Stu married Twilight Sparkle, knocked up Applejack and has left Celestia, Pinkie Pie and Daring Do pining for him. Is there any more OP you want to make him?
Don’t forget that in the alternate world he has children with Pinkie, Octavia and Luna, and that in the future he and Twilight will have a child.
Advanced Character-based Questions: (For readers with more than a few chapters under their belt.)
How about a list of original characters and their appearance?
How about just the major ones?
The Wandering Physicist aka James Wanderer - He is an unassuming brown earth pony with messy black hair. His cutie mark is a Super Mario World era ? Block. He wears black-rimmed glasses. He’s really quite normal… Seriously.
Tsukiyo Rei aka Princess Full Moon - She is a shorter than average white pegasus with short blue hair. Her cutie mark is a dark blue field with a full moon and five stars, three in front of the moon, two behind it.
Lucas Grainsborough - He is a light grey unicorn with shaggy brown hair. His cutie mark is translucent blue crystal.
Strawberry ‘Stormy’ Souffle - He is a magenta unicorn with a deeper magenta mane. His cutie mark is a souffle. His horn has a crack in it from a fight with his father.
Del Wanderer - She is a normal changeling with long red hair and a deep blue chitin. He pony disguise is a blue pegasus with red mane and a magenta delta cutie mark.
Can we learn some of James’ past?
Nope.
Will we learn some of James’ past?
Only if you read between the lines.
Is there any character that James DIDN’T sleep with?
Celestia. It gets mentioned a lot actually.
Speaking of her. What is Celestia’s relationship to James?
They are friends. Nothing more. She has a bit of an unrequited crush on him, but she knows she would rather have him as a friend than a lover.
Rei is really…
Rei’s genki girl personality is to cover up her insecurity and loneliness. She grew up alone, without friends or family, and is shorter than she should be. She was a victim of a lot of bullying at school, despite the fact that she always stood up for other students and was top of her class in grades. She adopted her positive persona as a way of trying to make friends and overcome her loneliness. Unfortunately, like all social outcasts, she doesn’t have the social skills to know when she has overstepped a line. Above all, she is not a crazed-Neighponophile with an overbearing happiness and penchant for speaking Neighponese randomly. She is really a sad, lonely girl who is trying to make friends the only way she knows how because short-sighted ponies only see somepony who is not like them and doesn’t like the things they do, so naturally, she is hated for no good reason than because she exists.
Can we get a list of Doctor Who character cameos?
Sure? Most are just singular appearances by The Doctor himself and listed in the chapter description. On that note, I will point out that one of the early names for Minuette (aka Colgate) was Romana due to her hourglass cutie mark. She’ll be appearing on this list as well.
Fourth Doctor - Blast From the Past
Tenth Doctor - Gaming is Magic, Level Up, Tea with The Doctor, Rage of a Time Lord, Our Party, Holiday Cheer, Warriors of the Derp, Two and a Half Ponies, Mare Do Well Rises
Eleventh Doctor - Apple of His Eye, Two and a Half Ponies, Goodbye, Mr Wanderer
Romana (II) - Blast From the Past
Minuette - Get Well Soon, Goodbye, Mr Wanderer (not mentioned, but likely invited)
River Song - Two and a Half Ponies, Fluttershy the Combat Maid
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart - Daring Do and the Enigmatic Scientist
Jack Harness - Everything Changes (Its Tune), Goodbye, Mr Wanderer (not mentioned, but likely invited)
Note: Trixie’s mother and grandmother are named after two of The Doctor’s companions, Vicki and Amy, but are not those companions. Also, Stormy’s nickname is from Doctor Who.
Do Time Lords have magic? If so, what sort of magic? Is it connected to the Time Vortex?
Well, since all ponies have magic and Time Lords (in this continuity) are in the form of ponies, then they do have magic. Since Time Lords are advanced humans in Doctor Who canon, in this canon, they would be enhanced ponies of whatever tribe they are. Earth ponies with greater stamina; unicorns with stronger magic; pegasi with bigger egos; and so on. They do not have a specialty for time magic. Their connection to the Time Vortex is a natural one. No special magic required.
What is it with all the connections between the characters?
Oh, it is a lot messier than you think...
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From here down, the questions are handled chapter by chapter.
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Twilight seemed to fall for James pretty fast. Marty Stu much?
She has a reason to have a crush on him right away. It will be explained later. (Also, yes on the Marty Stu bit. Very deep regrets there.)
That was a lot of characters you dropped in the festival story. Are all of them worth knowing?
Most are important for one thing or another, but they are mostly there just to supply a sense of population to the Nerd District. It is better than having a mass of unnamed ponies living in close proximity to the main cast.
What did Sweetie Belle do with her chopsticks?
I think I have a clip to show you about what happened.
What did James see when he looked into the Untempered Schism?
Something like this.
Why did you characterize James and Pinkie with loneliness? That doesn’t seem right.
I know it seems very uncharacteristically Pinkie for her to get so sad and depressed but at the time I wrote this, Party of One was my favorite episode (shortly to be replaced by Lesson Zero). If you really look at her behavior in the series, you can tell that inwardly she is very lonely and uses her parties to be social and relate to others. She just couldn't stand seeing somepony so lonely and that made her introspective and feel lonely as well. Fortunately, she and TWP found a friend who is willing to do anything to cheer the other up. Their entire friendship and relationship is built around that.
Rei seem to have the habit of narrating her chapters. Is she like Pinkie?
That was going to be one of her major traits, a bit of fourth wall awareness, but later in the series it was seen less and dropped since it didn’t fit with how I was writing and felt about it.
What does Stormy’s cracked horn mean for his magic?
He can still use magic just as well as before. He just has to be a little careful using it in excess or else he might open up his wound.
Who was Obnoxious and Annoying?
Maxie, obviously. Trixie is Great and Powerful/Apologetic, but she is not annoying.
How did Trixie have another cart if she didn’t have one at the end of Magic Duel?
She swallowed her pride and asked her mom for help. Spoiler: Her family is rich.
Why did you kill off James’ beard? He was the best character!
Twilight is a cruel, heartless monster who should be banished to Tartarus for making that decision for him. Good thing they aren’t married or else she might force her will on him all the time.
OMGWTFBBQLGBTWWEWiiU! Rei knows how to pilot a TARDIS?!
Rest your breasts. The TARDIS likely knew that Rei just needed to get away and brought her to her father. Doesn’t have to be anything more complicated than that.
OMGWTFBBQLGBTWWEWiiU! James finally adopted Rei?!
Calm your mams. If you didn’t see that coming, you need glasses.
Okay… First Inkie, then Stormy, now Image. Is there anypony that doesn’t have a crush on Rei?
Yes. You’ll meet him too soon.
What was the game for RSI and the Confusing Mystery of the Enigmatic Conundrum?
It was a choose your own adventure where you can pick the story for RSI. Half of the options were endings complete with harem endings for each of the main characters and James.
Would James have..?
To save Twilight? Yes. He would have wiped them from the planet, traveled back in time and wiped their parents from the planet, then traveled to another universe to wipe them out there. Nobody messes with Twilight Sparkle and gets away with it around James. Nobody.
Was that really Applebloom’s first date?
You know, the way the show is going, I have no idea.
Why doesn’t Night Light like James?
*Looks around nervously* He reminds Night Light of himself at that age… Okay, when Night Light was young since James is about 5-6 times Night Light’s age at this point.
Way to James! Fluttershy must be a great firs- What are you doing with Twilight if you’re ‘married’ to Fluttershy?
vs
How could he resist?
Oh my. That is a good argument too.
A new challenger has appeared…
Meep.
… Nah!
We have a winner, and I’ll be in my bunk.
How does Daring’s backstory fit with the show?
That may or may not be brought up in a future past spoiler.
Does Applejack like James or Sunshine more?
Satsuma. Trust me. That will make sense.
Why did you make Fluttershy’s mother the prototype Pinkie Pie?
As a shy introvert, I know how much an aggressively extroverted parent can drive a person into becoming shyer and more introverted by just trying to make the child more like them. Like Rainbow Dash and her way of learning, this is a way of showing that parenting to be like yourself is not the best way to raise a child.
Was that really Sweetie Belle’s first date?
You know, the way the show is going, I have no idea.
What was James doing in the background during Sweetie’s date with Stormy?
First, Pinkie tricked him into getting up before noon to go skating. Then, he was getting coffee with Applejack while she was on break from her stall. After lunch, he went to a play with Twilight before she had to get back to princessy things. And he closed the night off by having dinner with Luna. What are you implying?
Oh my Twilight! Starlight is the greatest character! He should have his own story Chronicling his life in Ponyville while living with Apple Bloom and being a wonderful role model for any young siblings he might have!
Look no further.
Can you explain all the r63 names for the characters?
Yep.
… Will you?
Nope.
How was Scootaloo able to Wolverine that knife attack?
Future past spoilers.
Was that a cameo of F-..?
Yes. And we will never mention him again.
When in James’ timeline did he save Twilight?
Remember when he and Pinkie went on an adventure? Then.
I think I get it now…
Let me guess. Twilight gets a crush on The Enigmatic Scientist. James saves Twilight at camp. Twilight still dreams about her youthful crush after becoming a princess. They finally meet when he buys The Power Block. It is love at first sight for both of them. A year later, he proposes. A bit after that, he and Pinkie go on their adventure through time and save Pinkie, keeping her childhood dreams alive.
Yeah… Little roundabout.
Shut up and enjoy the ride.
Is the Twinkie ending the canon ending?
What do you think?
Who knew that the TWP FAQ would be posted one year after the series ended? I think that makes a great anniversary present.
just gonna day, that map of the power block is totally different to what i imagined. That being said, its cool to have a single map.
you have crushed all my hopes and dreams for timelord magic. It would have been so eloquent too, what with starlight being time mage and all.
2218168
I have other things in mind for Starlight. He is half-princess too. Knowledge of time and space from his father. Phenomenal, cosmic power from his mother.
PS: The map is one I finally drew out after having designed it years ago. Gotta do the same for the rest of the district...