MLP episode review: The Cutie Mark Chronicles · 11:10pm Jun 17th, 2014
Okay, day off so let's see if I can get two reviews for the price of one! *Unrolls scroll, which gets away from Striker and rolls into a nearby lake* Dumb scroll! Time to look at...
The Cutie Mark Chronicles
We open with the CMC high up in a tree trying for a ziplining cutie mark. Because why the hell not?! Spike said it was awesome, and then Scootaloo jumps. Scootaloo, you fail at common sense! They speed down, the friction igniting the rope itself! It burns, breaks and they plummet through the foliage, landing in a sticky heap. "Tree sap and pine needles, but no cutie mark." No. Fucking. DUH! Sweetie Belle asks about Plan B, which according to Scootaloo involves a cannon. Scootaloo... *Rolls up Sunday edition of the New York Times* But Scootaloo finally gives up, saying no matter what they try, no cutie mark but lots of tree sap.
Sweetie Belle says they should do something less dangerous, like pillow-testing or flower-sniffing. Apple Bloom kicks over some buckets and has-Oh, God!-a plan! She says ask some of the ponies in ponyville! My goodness, a glimmer of sanity! Scootaloo says to start with the coolest pony in Ponyville. Apple Bloom says Applejack and Sweetie Belle says Rarity. Natch that they'd choose their big sisters. Scootaloo said 'cool' and buzzes around a bit. Pinkie Pie? Greatest flier to come out of Cloudsdale! Fluttershy? HAH! No, Dash. So they go off to find her and slap hooves... which get glued together by the tree sap. Nice. :D
We come back to Scootaloo on her scooter, towing the others. I like them wearing helmets, there. When suddenly a wild family of rabbits appear! They scamper off with a load of food, Applejack in pursuit. But she didn't see the wagon and crashes into it. Ouchies! Apple Bloom sees Applejack's cutie mark and asks her. That's... actually pretty damned smart of her! Scootaloo butts in, saying they were just gonna ask Dash. But no, multiple views are needed. As well as all the help they can get! She was smaller than they were and the screen gets all wavy, as per standard TV flashback tropes. We see a young Applejack with a stick balanced over her shoulder and bundle tied to it. Little Macintosh and Granny Smith are waving her bye. She's off to Manehattan to live with Aunt and Uncle Orange. It's a big city, with at least one rude jerk. She finds the Orange's and they take her in, good on them! They're a bit bemused by her accent. We cut to Applejack all gussied up at a dinner party and others asking how she's finding Manehattan. it goes well until she mentions rooster and... they don't know what that is. And my SOD just gets broken there. Yeah, sorry, no way they wouldn't know what a rooster was. Applejack feels embarrassed, but the dinner bell saves her. A dinner tray's floated in front of her, but it's tiny morsels. Oh, come on! That's rubbing it in too thick for me.
We cut to her sitting by a window, homesick. She does a rooster call and wonders what Big Mac and Granny Smith are up to. No mention of Apple Bloom, so probably not born yet. Therefore parents are probably still alive, too. Suddenly, sonic rainboom! She realized her place was at Sweet Apple Acres. She rushed home, finding Little Mac and Granny there. So hopefully called ahead and thanked the Orange's for their hospitality and taking her in. She got her cutie mark then. Just as she finishes the story, the rabbits come back and taunt her. Off to the races!
Sweetie Belle said it was sweet, and Scootaloo counters it was sappy. I side with the Sweetie. They speed off again, and nearly run into Fluttershy! Scootaloo, BOTH eyes on the road! They tumble while Fluttershy lets some ducks cross the street. she gently chides them about their carelessness and asks what the hurry is. Scootaloo tells her their epic quest, and Fluttershy says without Dash, she wouldn't have earned her cutie mark! DUN DUN DUUUNNNN! It started at summer flight camp, above Camp Crystal Lake... :p
We flash back to it, and Fluttershy says you wouldn't guess it, but back then, she was very shy and a very weak flier. And I own a Transformer or two. :p We see her struggling to clear a cloud ring, all gangly and looking bigger than most fillies or colts, but not quite adult. VERY nice, since she's a year older than Pinkie Pie. She almost makaes it, but trips, slides down a hill, hits a ski jump, flies into a flag and lands in a heap. I must go and hug her, now. Two of the bullies from Sonic Rainboom pick on her and I must now also beat them up. Dash suddenly flies in and sticks up for Fluttershy! Go, Dash! And yeesh, how not-often have I typed that out so far? They challenge her to a race. Fluttershy drops the flag. I guess Dash is hydromatic and ultramatic, then. They speed by her so fast she spins right round, right round like a record, baby. And then falls off the cloud! I believe we've established how bad a flier she is, yes?
We come back to her plummeting... and then the butterflies made of dark matter catch her! It's an old reference. :p Turns out she's never seen butterflies, for she's never been near the ground before! And... and... oh, god. I can't... no. NO! She's singing, she's singing and... it's an 'I want' song! It's an 'I want' song! I was only kidding about the Disney Princess references, for the love of Primus!!!!!!
Okay, all joking aside, it's a nice song. And she begins flying. It's legit sweet and flippin' adorable! And suddenly sonic rainboom! The animals scatter in fright, but Fluttershy calms them down. Also, bushes don't lift up like that and I'm fairly sure you can't talk underwater like she can. And she out-Snow White's Snow White. She finds she can talk to the animals, walk like the animals, and she gets her cutie mark! Scootaloo asks about Dash and the race, but Fluttershy wasn't there and didn't know what happened. Cue sad trombones for Scootaloo! They speed off, with Scootaloo saying she can't take anymore singing. Oh, have you picked the wrong franchise to be in!
Sweetie Belle suggests Rarity would know where they are, and Gilligan-Cut to them being used as ponykins. Hah! Rarity asks if they're still obsessing, and Sweetie Belle says most of the other fillies at school already have theirs! Dang, the stuff you forget! Rarity knows how they feel, and we flash back to the practice of a school play. We see young Berry Punch, Cheerilee, and a few others. The previous teacher, who I know of no fanon of but now wish I did, compliments Rarity for the costumes. But even back then Rarity was a perfectionist! Interesting the piano goes off-key as she laments them only being 'nice'. Nice musical cue, there. We cut to her working in a room, not sure if this is Carousel Boutique or at her parents' home. The play was that night! She says maybe she's not meant to be a fashionista, and her horn lights up and we get EPIC HORN-DRAGGING! Her expression is priceless! We also get several shots of it being night, which I am chalking up to continuity/script error. And she slams into... her destiny!
No, she slams into a rock. And we're not talking Monolith, here. Although damn but that'd be awesome. She chews out her own horn and calls it a dumb rock. So now we know where Sweetie Belle gets it from. :D And then sonic rainboom, the rock splits open and gems! We see some FABULOUS costumes now at the play, which I also now wish to know was about. Over at the Fridge Brilliance page at TV Tropes someone points out it's the Pony's five food groups. Okay, but what else? Rarity looks on in delight, and cutie mark!
Back in the present, the point whizzes by Scootaloo's head at warp 9 as she says these stories are about finding who they are and boring stuff like that. Scootaloo, you're going to be older than Celestia and still without a mark with that attitude! She pushes the other CMC away, saying they need action, Rainbow Dash!
And we cut to them listening to Twilight Sparkle, looking bored out of their skulls. Dammit, this episode is hitting all the right notes! She went to see the Summer Sun Celebration and saw Celestia raising the sun. She poured everything into learning about magic, and we see her struggling to turn a page. She goes through a lot of books, and we see her parents, one an homage to G1 Twilight Wish, with an application form for the School for Gifted Unicorns. Make sure to say hi to Trixie and Lyra there! Don't ask about Sunset Shimmer, either.
lol, I have plans for the Hasbroverse version of Equestria Girls! *Evil grin*
We see her dancing adorably, and then we see her having to pass an entrance exam! What is it?! It's hatching a dragon egg! She tries her best, but fails. She's crushed and, yeah, hugs! She walks off, completely crushed. And suddenly, you guessed it, sonic rainboom! the egg hatches and we see adorable tiny Spike. Her magic suddenly goes nuts and Spike becomes Zilla Junior, the testers are suspended in midair and her parents are turned into plants, specifically a fern and cactus! We cut outside to see Celestia seeing Giant!Baby!Spike. Back inside, she's twitching in what appears to be legit pain! Celestia is there, touches her shoulder and I legit can't tell if Twilight calms down on her own or Celestia does something. And... no.
The effects are reversed. Yay! Twilight apologizes and Celestia says she doesn't think she's ever seen a unicorn with such raw abilities. But she needs focused study while Twilight 'Huh?'s through the conversation. Yup, personal student at the school. Twilight jumps for joy, and cutie mark ahoy! She jumps around even more, and then we Gilligan-Cut to the present and her jumping around while going "YES!". The CMC flee for their sanity while Twilight comes out of it. SOmeone asks if she's alright. her response? "Yes." Nice!
Scootaloo laments they haven't crashed into Rainbow Dash, and suddenly Pinkie's in the back, complete with helmet. I don't know or care. :D She says if she was Dash, she'd be at Sugarcube Corner. If she was anyone that's where she'd be. Hey, let's go to Sugarcube Corner! She also almost falls out the back. And yup, time for her cutie mark story. Yup, the rock farm. I thought this was bullcrap until Magic Duel, actually. Straight-haired Pinkie Pie. No talking, no smiling. Only rocks. Heaven for Maud, though. They were rotating the rocks from the south field to the east field, and guess what happens next? If you guessed sonic rainboom, give yourself a hundred points, even though the points don't matter. :D And poof goes the mane and tail and here comes the sun and smile! She wants everyone to smile and laugh! So we cut to the next morning and the Pie family emerging. Real Amish feel to them. And we hear the Parasprite song coming from a silo! "Pinkamina Diane Pia, is that you?" She opens a door, letting out some confetti and balloons. Inside it's a party! They're agog at it. Their mouths quiver, and at first Pinkie thinks they don't like it. And of course they do and, to quote Wayne and Garth, "PARTY TIME!"
And cutie mark. "And that's how Equestria was made!" And... okay? She goes off saying on the way home maybe she can tell them the story of how she got her cutie mark as the CMC's minds all fracture. They're at Sugarcube Corner, and inside is Dash! And we finally get her cutie mark story! Yeah, it was the race. She'd never flown like that before. the speed, adrenaline... she liked it! Dashie likes it! And she realizes what she loved.... was winning! And sonic rainboom and cutie mark.
Back at the present, the other Mane Six suddenly come to the realization that they all got their cutie mark from the rainboom's effects! Group hug! And then song, grossing out Scootaloo. Hah! she says they should try ziplining again, but gets pulled into a hug. Cue BIG NO! We cut to Twilight and the message, that friends have a special connection. And maybe you're all looking up at the same rainbow. Spike asks when she got so cheesy, but he writes it. And end.
Thoughts
Wow, this is a dense one. Dense in a good way, mind. We learn the basic backstories of the Mane Six, and they're all good stories. I'm honestly not sure if I should talk about each one or dive into the Hasbroverse headcanon concerning them or what. Hmm... some thoughts:
1. I like Aunt and Uncle Orange. They took Applejack in and helped her best they could. Family takes care of family. The whole 'no rooster' thing is bullcrap and SOD-breaking. If you wanna read some great stories dealing with Aunt Orange, go to [url=v]Life in Manehattan, run by Little Jackie Papercut. I do wanna write a fic for that group, but I don't know what! :(
2. I originally thought Pinkie's story was false, but now I think it's true. I've heard some good theories, here and at fimfic/RPG.net about what it could mean. A simple quarry, gem mining like with Rarity, laying out rocks on leylines to soak up their magic, the aftermath of parasprite invasions, so on and so forth. I have no real opinion on it.
3. Twilight's backstory actually explains a lot. I've written an Au called Twilight the Terrible that's an alternate take on the events. It's stalled until I can finish 'Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds' at the moment, though.
And that's it for thoughts.
Headcanon
A lot of this deals with the Hasbroverse. Not all of it, but the majority. You have been warned! ;)
1. Trixie also got her cutie mark during the rainboom, explaining why compared to most other unicorns she's pretty damned powerful.
2. Fluttershy is the oldest of the Mane Six.
3. Big Macintosh between the flashback and the present joined the Equestrian Armed Forces, Tank Corps to be precise. He got a hardship discharge at the death of his parents.
4. Applejack is the direct descendant of G1 Applejack and Sweet Apple Acres is the land G1 Applejack used for her original apple farm, Applejack Acres. It got abandoned during the Nightmare War.
5. Twilight is the direct descendant of G1 Twilight Wish. She heard of the Tales of the Mag'ne from her mother, a librarian in the Royal Library.
6. Spike is g1 Spike's grandson, King Spykoran the Old, king of the Thirteen Dragon Clans! His egg was the only survivor of an attack on the Nests of Dargoth by Ursa Majors. While Spykoran was attacking the bears in grief-driven rage, Celestia found the egg. Inquiries turned up nothing, so she took it back to Equestria.
7. The rock farm does a lot of exporting to the Dragon Lands.
And I think that's it for headcanon, at least stuff not already mentioned like the stuff about Dash's ancestors Firefly and Bloodwing. So, yeah. Great episode overall. There was a lot there, but it didn't feel crowded or anything like that.
My take on rock farming is that it is essentially a kind of feng shui: you line up 'seed stones' along with the natural flows of magic so it causes the gems and ores within to grow. The Pie family have a very strong, innate sense for natural magic flows, which is why they run a very lucrative business; hence why Trixie could afford an ancient amulet on that salary. Ironically, unicorns are not good at sensing magic flows because they automatically warp them with their horns, hence why Trixie was relegated to rock-smashing duty.
Also, Pinkie Pie is even more in touch with the natural background magic, and uses it to sense every aspect of the world around her; by knowing the location and direction of every single object around herself, she can predict the future. But since pure cosmic awareness would burn out her mind completely, she has it shunted into her subconscious from where it only manifests as curious tics.
How's that for headcanon?
This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite episodes of not just season 1, but all of the entire show. If there is one eppie I want to show anybody for the series its this. (With the only real complaint being that we never will see the other two possible origins for Dash's cutie mark on screen. Shame, I would of loved the sword one. I wonder if anyone has those two written down.)
I mean, whats not to love, each of their cutie mark stories fits in perfectly with their element. It expands on their characters while leaving plenty of room for us to interpit (Even making some excellent alt histories i.e For want of a nail and Rainbooms and Royalty). and, most importantly, gives the mane six something special that bonds them as one. With the exception of Trixie (headcannon), no pony else has this connection. A thing that binds them as one. It kind of gives a mythical quality that makes it awesome.
Again...the sailor moon resemblance is uncanny.
In case no one guessed, I am a sucker for these type of episodes.
My Trixie headcanon is that she got her cutie mark after putting on a little show during recess for the other foals in her class. Then, a few minutes after that, the Rainboom hits, and suddenly everypony's talking about that instead of her amazing new cutie mark! So, she gets mad, and swears that she'll never be upstaged like that again.
YES! Out of everyone's alt universes I am following, yours is the one I want most to see tackle Equestria Girls.
2214984 It's so great, I'm going to
I mean if that's okay with you. 
stealborrow some aspects of it.You spin my head right round, right round when you go down. When you go down, down. Wait, that's not the same song.
I thought it was Applejack who was made of dark matter.
You know it was never confirmed that it was Cheerilee. In one of the comics, we see a teenaged Cheerilee at the same high school with Cadance and Shining Armor and in the same comic we see a young cutie mark-less Twilight Sparkle.
You know I was rewatching Season 1 some time before the start of Season 4, and when I saw this I was surprised because I had forgotten about it. The whole connection between cutie marks and destiny was set up all the way back in Season 1.
And that's how Equestria was made.
Do you now. This should be interesting. Are you still going to do the whole time-travel back to the Eighties thing you mentioned once?
Like on Whose Line Is It Anyway.
I always headcanoned that Applejack's parents death was the catalyst for Applejack going to Manehattan.
But you pointing out how in her flashback she doesn't mention Apple Bloom makes me rethink that. Still, she may not have mentioned wondering what Apple Bloom was doing because she'd be a baby and babies don't do much.
Especially since "Maud Pie" as she wasn't present in the flashback, I've always figured that Pinkie's cutie mark story wasn't completely accurate. She claims to have invented parties and famously ends it with "And that's how Equestria was made".
You know what's a really cool story about the Oranges: Bad_Seed_72's Tangled Roots Trilogy. It's a decidedly dark alternative universe take on the Oranges and Babs Seed's life in Manehattan.
2216066 Use it with my blessing.
I'm very intrigued by your plans for Equestria Girls.
In case you care, my take on rock farming is that it's just a demonstration of the power of earth pony magic. They can grow rocks. (Also, in my usual continuity, Pinkie actually does know how Equestria was made. After all, she made it. Time travel was involved.)