I... think I've met my match. Well played. · 1:34pm Jun 1st, 2014
Guys... I know I can come off as a cold person.
In a way, as much as writing is an outlet for one's emotions, painting a picture of feelings with the spoken word, one can't help feeling a touch... robotic, in the way that you find yourself "budgeting" certain events in a story in order to sorta "min/max" the optimal emotion you're trying to instill in the reader. At times, it can feel disingenuous, like you're being manipulative to FORCE an emotional state in a reader.
In that regard, I CAN seem cold, even to myself. Oftentimes, hell, I REVEL in writing segments of emotional suffering. I'm kinda sick like that. I might ACTUALLY be a sadist, I don't know, I'm not a psychiatrist. At times, I feel like I have no heart. Well...
Guys... I'm not easily "gotten". It takes a LOT, to "get" me.
In that past, it's taken nothing less than that Celine Dione song from Titanic (my father still gives me shit for that) the entire running time of Pixar's "Up," and freaking "Marley and Me" (which just isn't fair to begin with, goddamnit) to get me.
This video got me...
And it's not like I TRY to be some unfeeling asshole. I LOVE being "got." I actually consider myself an emotional person, I just have really high standards for the perfect storm that makes me FEEL something to that degree.
And maybe... maybe this video touched me for the REASON that for much of it, it felt like it could have been talking about the story I'm writing. All the little animated flashbacks in the background that seem to involve Spike, and yet we never really SEE Spike with the Twilight that's singing... it made me wonder if the video was alluding to the idea that something had happened to Spike, or that he'd grown up and flown away or something [like in this comic, which, incidentally, ALSO "got" me (...god DAMNIT! I only had to GLANCE at that one to tear up this time!)].
It made me wonder, after catching the droplets rolling down my face, if I was feeling some kind of guilt, or maybe if I'd been writing this story for so long, that I was beginning to feel some sort of pathos, like I was coming to the end of a long journey as surely as the characters were (though that might sound a bit egotistical, I do feel like I've put a lot of myself into this story).
I dunno, but it's really good to feel something so powerful, every once in a while.
EDIT: (Aaaaaand I've just realized the song originated from a really... REALLY shitty Final Fantasy game... Well, I suppose I've never been able to fault Square Enix for its music.)
Well I just got sucker punched in the feels.
Haha. I am the same way. My writing is often cruel, and I revel in elliciting a powerful emotional response from my characters that doesn't feel forced. And even more in getting one from my readers. I've relapsed and embraced that I'm a sadist somewhere in here. And I never cry. Almost never, Since the age of ten I have cried exactly 5 times that I can remember. It takes a lot to "get" me, and I love when someone can do it properly.
However, I did not cry at that video. I find it moving, and can see why some would cry, but I did not.
Well now I'm just confused.
I can't seem to find this emotional in the slightest. I feel like it was much more feelsy the first time