Friendship is Card Games: Griffon the Brush-Off · 12:51pm Jun 1st, 2014
Ah, Gilda. Love her or hate her, she was the only griffin* on the show until "MMMMystery on the Friendship Express," the one point from which we had to extrapolate an entire species's culture. She didn't exactly make the best first impression. Of course, if you were surrounded by delicious, delicious creatures who society said you couldn't eat, you'd probably be on edge too.
It's funny. This episode showed Pinkie being sensitive to Fluttershy's sensitivity, but at the same time, she was utterly oblivious to Dash or Gilda's exasperation. Well, until the latter expressed it physically. In any case, it just goes to show that giving Pinkie inconsistent characterization isn't a recent development. I guess she just wasn't sure of her motivation in some of those scenes.
Dash explicitly called Pinkie's flying machine a contraption. I couldn't resist. If you go back to last week's cards, you'll see that I did the same with the Pegapult.
When I was introducing my sister and her then-girlfriend to pony, both agreed that there were massive "ex-girlfriend" overtones in this episode. Dash's design may have contributed to lesbian jokes, but I think it was this episode that cemented it in people's minds.
*Given the spelling conflict, I'm going to go with the more textual medium, so card game over show.
And now the weather cards:
Disregard 1WW
Instant
Prevent all damage target creature would deal this turn.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
"Uh huh."
Roar of the Griffin 2W
Instant
Kicker B and/or R
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. If Roar of the Griffin was kicked with its B kicker, those creatures gain intimidate until end of turn. If Roar of the Griffin was kicked with its R kicker, damage that would be dealt by those creatures this turn can't be prevented.
Confluence of Pranks 1U
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-0 until of turn, where X is the number of instant cards and cards with flash in your graveyard.
Draw a card.
"Huh. I'd forgotten about some of these."
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Balloon Harness 2U
Enchantment — Aura
Flash
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has defender and flying.
What it gives in lift, it takes in momentum.
Incorrigible Pranksters 2U
Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever you cast a spell during an opponent's turn, you may tap or untap target creature.
"Come on, it's all in good fun!"
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
2/2
Intense Alchemy 2U
Instant
Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of cards in your hand. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
"This is a very delicate procedure. In fact, I probably shouldn't be distracting myself by telling you about it."
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Ocular Pulse 2UU
Sorcery
Choose a card type, then reveal target opponent's hand. Draw a card for each card of the chosen type revealed this way. If you drew no cards this way, return Ocular Pulse to its owner's hand.
When Ditzy Doo has her eye on you, you know it.
Casual Theft 1B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you may remove a counter from target permanent defending player controls. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on enchanted creature.
For much of their history, griffins could only claim ownership of that which they were strong enough to keep. A few still practice this philosophy.
Slow Departure 2BB
Enchantment
If a creature would be destroyed, regenerate it. If that creature regenerates this way, its controller sacrifices it at the beginning of the next end step.
Death is nothing if not patient.
Trick Candles R
Instant
Trick Candles deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
Recover 1R (When a creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay 1R. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand. Otherwise, exile this card.)
Ponyville Fungineer 2R
Creature — Pony Rigger
Assemble 1R (1R: Put a colorless Contraption artifact token onto the battlefield. Assemble only any time you could cast a sorcery.)
Contraptions you control have "T: Target creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn."
Building the whatchamacallits of tomorrow, today.
1/2
Curse of Hiccups 3R
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, sacrifice Curse of Hiccups.
Whenever enchanted player casts a spell, that player flips a coin. If he or she loses the flip, counter that spell.
Like much pony magic, it seems frivolous until experienced firsthand.
Scroll Bombardment 4R
Instant
Multikicker — Discard a card.
Scroll Bombardment deals damage to target player equal to the number of cards in that player's hand plus an additional 1 damage for each time it was kicked.
"I'm going to have to have a long talk with that dragon."
—Princess Celestia
Plaid Apples G
Instant
Each player chooses a color. If a player taps a land for mana this turn, it produces one mana of the color that player chose instead of any other type and amount.
"If only those two would put that much effort into something that matters."
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Inescapable Pursuit 1G
Instant
Target attacking creature becomes blocked by target nonblocking creature defending player controls. (This spell works on creatures that can't block or be blocked.)
"'Stalking' is such an ugly word. I prefer 'aggressive friend-making.'"
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Sonic Faceplant 1GG
Instant
Target creature with flying loses flying until end of turn. Sonic Faceplant deals damage to that creature equal to the number of lands you control.
"Any landing you can walk away from is a good one. That said, I've seen more than a few bad landings."
—Spitfire, Wonderbolt captain
Hoofshake Buzzer 1
Artifact — Equipment
If equipped creature would fight a creature, it instead gets +2/+0 until end of turn, then fights that creature.
4, T: Equipped creature fights target creature. Unattach Hoofshake Buzzer.
Equip 2
Sneezing Powder 1
Artifact
2, Sacrifice Sneezing Powder: Tap target creature. That creature's activated abilities can't be activated for as long as it remains tapped.
It's hard to focus on much when your sinuses are trying to turn themselves inside out.
Trick Eyepiece 2
Artifact
Whenever a spell or ability causes a player to look at one or more cards from the top of his or her library, Trick Eyepiece deals 2 damage to him or her. (Revealing those cards doesn't trigger this ability.)
"Okay, who added the spikes?"
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Bouncy Trampoline 3
Artifact
2, T: Target creature with toughness 3 or less gains flying until end of turn.
"It's really fun, but the weight limit's there for a reason."
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Mock Turtle 3
Artifact Creature — Turtle
Provoke (When this attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
2: Target creature blocking Mock Turtle gets -1/-0 until end of turn.
"I do not recommend trying to make soup out of it."
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
0/4
Xenothopter 3
Artifact — Contraption
Tap an untapped Pony or Rigger you control: Xenothopter becomes a 3/3 Thopter artifact creature with flying until end of turn. (It's still a Contraption.)
Only a rigger would try to build a pedal-powered flying machine. Only an earth pony could operate it.
Prank Exempt (wu)
Enchantment — Aura
Flash
Enchant creature you control with power 2 or less
Enchanted creature has hexproof.
Even a prankster needs to know where to draw the line.
Startling Thunderclap UR
Instant
Startling Thunderclap deals 1 damage to target creature. Tap that creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
"Aw, come on. I was careful!"
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Gilda's Belligerence RW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment with converted mana cost equal to or less than enchanted creature's power.
Griffins are biologically adapted to hunt ponies, their claws capable of tearing through magic with contemptuous ease.
Gilda, the Intolerant WBR
Legendary Creature — Griffin
Flying, first strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control one or more creatures with greater power or toughness than Gilda, the Intolerant, sacrifice Gilda unless you sacrifice one of those creatures.
"What's it gonna be? Them or me?"
4/4
Mother Duck 2(wu)(wu)
Creature — Bird
Flying
When Mother Duck enters the battlefield, put a 1/1 white and blue Bird creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
Ponyville is so welcoming, even wild animals want to raise their families there.
2/2
Pratfall 2WB
Instant
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each of those creatures.
The more witnesses, the greater the humiliation.
Invisible Ink (2u)(2b)
Artifact
X, Sacrifice Invisible Ink: You may exile an instant or sorcery spell with converted mana cost X or less from your hand encoded onto target creature. If that card doesn't have cipher, it gains cipher. (Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)
Springing Snakes 3GUU
Instant
Counter target spell. Put X 1/1 green and blue Snake creature tokens onto the battlefield, where X is that spell's converted mana cost.
"Pinkie once tried to use the existence of this spell to convince me that all magic is actually made of peanut brittle. The scary thing is that it almost made sense."
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Joke Shop
Land
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
1, T: The next sorcery spell you cast this turn can be cast as though it had flash.
Schadenfreude's its stock and trade.
Mmmmm, peanut brittle magic sounds delicious. No wonder the eldrazi eat it up.
Gilda, the Intolerant and Dominus of Fealty: would probably be better if the Dominus were a 5/5
Is- is that a Love Hina reference? Because that strikes me as a Love Hina reference.
I am not really sure how to make use of "Slow Departure", maybe along side other black things that like to sacrifice stuff on command. But even then you're not really making much use of the regeneration. Maybe after combat, but, again, this is more a gear piece that I want to make work but I'm just not sure how... .
I wish "Mother Duck" had a Multikicker of 1(W/U)(W/U) and said "When Mother Duck enters the battlefield, put X+1 1/1 white and blue Bird creature tokens with flying onto the battlefield where X is the number of times it was kicked." All the ducks!
Also, I didn't think of it before with all your various other cards but the official way, that is the way Wizards themselves do it, to show hybrid mana symbols in text format is with a forward slash (/) between the two alternate costs.
I am not sure about "Joke Shop", we only have two cards with activated "has flash" effects, them being
Alchemist's Refuge and Winding Canyons. One is any non-land and the other is creatures but both have a converted mana cost of "2" for their effect. I think a cost of "(2/U)" on the second ability for "Joke Shop" would be a more balanced cost.
As it is now it's almost a better Quicken on a stick, the lack of draw makes it about even because of the fact you can do it over and over again in any color. Lands and artifacts get all color related abilities true, but normally at a greater mana cost. My suggested cost change would make it great in blue decks but still good in any color as well.
And now, for the weather.
**Is reminded to go and download the new Welcome to Night Vale onto his phone.**
2164541 The original Alice in Wonderland, actually.
2164982
I ask because Kaolla Suu is constantly trying to make the resident turtle mascot into soup/stew/food. I've not actually read the original Lewis Carrol stories, either, so...
2164133
I actually have a headcanon about how each color of magic tastes at varying intensities. Appropriately enough for Celestia, low-medium levels of white magic taste like cake. Raising the sun, on the other hand, is overpoweringly cheesy.
2164541
Mock turtle soup was a big thing in 18th century England. Thus, Lewis Carroll put a Mock Turtle in Wonderland.
No hot springs turtles were injured in the making of these cards.
2164770
Remember that Joke Shop only applies to one spell. Also, when considering the cost of lands' activated abilities, if you have to tap the land, you technically add one, given the opportunity cost of tapping the land itself. Thus, Refuge and Canyons sort of cost three mana to use, and Joke Shop two.
2167598 I now wish to know all the flavors.
2175125
White starts off sweet, then develops a starchiness, then mellows into dairy, and finishes off by going through a series of ever sharper cheeses. The most intense white magics taste like what can only be described as a milk-lich.
Blue starts minty, then becomes salty, and intensifies to fishiness. At the highest levels, it's like there's an ocean in your mouth, and everything's invited.
Black starts off greasy, then sour, then downright putrid. After a certain point, there's nothing but a sense of weight ,as though the top layer of your tongue had died and all you could detect was the presence of the necrotized tissue.
Red starts spicy, with the taste of blood cutting some of the heat at middling intensities. There's a sense of effervescence at middle-high levels, as if from heatless boiling, and then nothing but bitter ashes.
Green is the color of taste*, and as such has a wide variety of flavors. To generalize, it starts with leafy greens, then roots, then fruit, then nuts, then meat. Summoning some massive predator is accompanied by a taste of the beast's impending meal for those sensitive to the flavor magic.
Colorless mana is also flavorless. Multicolored effects blend the flavors. After summoning Progenitus, a gourmancer may not be able to look at food for hours.
*Yes, I also associate them with the five senses. White is hearing (sermons and battle cries,) blue sight (clairvoyance and illusions,) black smell (rot and decadent perfume,) and red touch (heat, pain, and even affection.)
I've never seen a kicker a8ility like the one on Roar of the Griffin. Has such an a8ility ever 8een printed 8y Wizards?
~Vriska Serket
2194284
I'd like to introduce you to the Battlemages, the Volvers, and, just in case you thought they only did it for creatures, Illuminate.
2195216 Th8nks. That was v8ry illumin8ting.
:
:
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~Vriska Serket
2175355 I was about to object that colorless mana shouldn't be flavorless, but actually it makes sense for pure colorless spells to have tactile "mouthfeel" sensations instead. Low-cost artifacts feel gritty, medium colorless spells are bizarrely astringent but flavorless (astringency only appears alongside sour, bitter, and salt tastes in nature), and big expensive artifacts fill the mouth with loose gears. (Eldrazi spells instead give the distinct impression that your tongue has turned into a dozen or more tentacles, only barely under control.)
2251200
Summoning a Transguild Courier tastes like a ream of parchment lightly glazed with melted Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.
Ghostfire tastes like the expectation of greater spice, black pepper when expecting habañeros.
2253635
Kaleidostone gives the sensation of a notable absence of taste, as it gathers all available flavours into itself.
Why does Inescapable Pursuit have the "only cast at this time" rider? It can't be cast at any other time no matter what.
4262476
I may have had a good reason at the time, or I redesigned it from some effect that would've justified that rider. Either way, I'm removing it now.