Fic recs, May 24th! · 12:18pm May 24th, 2014
Fanfiction writers, beware! The notoriously hard-to-please InquisitorM has begun a fanfic review series called “On Trial”, which should tell you everything you need to know about it. Make sure you’re following him, this is going to be a ride!
Also, for those keeping score, this journal marks me (almost) being done with reviewing one story from everyone I’m following. Of the three I have left, two are over 100k and one of those is gonna be a stand-alone post, so I’ll get to them in time. Meanwhile, I’ll start cleaning out the “old favorites” folder in my review group! :D
H: 1 R: 3 C: 5 V: 2 N: 2
The Incredibly Boring and Uninteresting Adventures of Maud Pie and Boulder by Jet Kusanagi
Genre: Comedic Mystery
With a title like that, you know this has to be a challenge to the reader. It turns out, this author really gets what makes Maud tick, and telling the story from her perspective was definitely a good decision. Also a good decision was sending her to Appleloosa so she could play off of Braeburn. The plot is a fun, light mystery, that the geologically inclined will be able to solve early. The draw, of course, is watching Maud have zero reaction to the things going on around her, as well as eating rocks and talking to Boulder. I feel like I enjoyed reading this more than actually watching the episode, so that’s something!
Recommended
Blue Steel Railway by writer
Reading by Doctor Cobra
Genre: Western
Here’s a real blast from the past. This story took second place in the sitewide Fimfiction writeoff back in February 2012. How many people remember/participated in that? (I did!) I don’t recall actually having read it then, and I think I would definitely remember if I had. It’s a pretty great, gritty Western, hitting a lot of the usual notes one might expect from the genre, but there’s one major problem with it: It’s not pony. At all. It would be fairly easy work to switch out all the names and a few words and publish this as original fiction. Applejack is all but unrecognizable under her duster and button-down shirt, seeking revenge against a monster and hiding her true motives from the outlaw she hires to help her. (Let’s not forget she has a shotgun.) Dodge Junction is not a place found in Equestria, especially given how big a deal is made of AJ’s gender. As for that outlaw, well, he turns out to be a pretty decent character, rightly so, given that a lot of the story is focused on him. It’s a tale of friendship and redemption, so at least it’s got that much going for it. (Notably, it also has some POV issues that aren’t adequately explained by “the reader didn’t pause between scenes”.) I despair that this setup is likely going to drive a lot of people away, because the revelation that comes near the end of the story is flippin’ amazing and dissolved all my inhibitions about the piece as a whole. I was really blown away; I just know that not many people are going to want to sit through ten thousand words of not-Applejack roaming around the dusty countryside with an OC just to find out the twist. Believe me when I say, if you do, it’ll be worth it. Hopefully.
Recommended If You Don’t Mind AU
Substitute Teacher by Kawa
Reading by Scribbler and Dr. Wolf
Review #900!
Genre: World-Building
A substitute teacher dazzles a class with his knowledge of magic. That’s literally all there is to this piece. I even hesitate to call it a ‘story’. There’s no indication of where or what this class might have been, or who was being substituted for. His amusing name aside, Pyrrhic Victory isn’t a terribly strong character. The scene isn’t a setup for a moral or an adventure, or even a joke. I was waiting for one of the students to be revealed as Twilight, making this some great formative moment in her youth, but that never happened. It’s just a quick and dirty headcanon dump on the nature of magic, and unless that kind of thing appeals to you, this is a complete waste of time. (I wouldn’t even have read it if not for the reading.)
Not Recommended
In a Tavern, Down by the River by Lysis
Genre: Romance
This is a great pre-Magic Duel Trixie fic that shows her as complex, rather than a caricature. Her disastrous show in Ponyville is not explained away as somehow not her fault, but is rather shown as being a fluke, and a fairly bad run of luck (after all, she was up against the Elements of Harmony), much of which was a fault of her character flaws. So while she lost everything then, she’s able to recover thanks to actually, y’know, being a competent performer. It’s also a fairly rare romance, as she catches the fancy of the innkeeper’s naive daughter and has to deal with leading her on, setting boundaries and her own desires warring with her need for travel. Missteps were few. There’s some underlying “being a lesbian is weird in Equestria/Trottingham/maybe just this inn” sexuality issues that I could have done without, though thankfully the narrative is never preachy. The final scene also switches to Barrel’s POV for the only time in the story, and while it plays out well, it’s always jarring when that sort of thing happens. Romance is one of those genres that tends to get long-winded “only if you already like it” recommendations from me, but as you move further away from mane x mane shipping, I feel like it’s an easier sell, and anyone with an eye for it will want to check this out.
Recommended
Muffinland by M1Garand8
Genre: Comedy
This one of those stories where you’re pretty sure that what’s going on is just in somepony’s head, and you’d be right. It definitely lines up others of that genre, turning minor things into an epic adventure, and it’s quite a lot of fun. There’s one line in here — the one that explains why Ditzy (yes) hates cupcakes — that absolutely killed me. The writing in general is passable, albeit with a few typos and some spots that could stand to be tightened. I disagree with one of the reviewers who left a comment (they do that now?): I think this is just long enough. It’s a lighthearted piece that’s worth it for a quick read.
Recommended If You Like Silly Stories
Kilowatt Hour Builds an Industrial-Sized Pet Hairdryer by Pegasus Rescue Brigade
Genre: Comedy
Apparently the titular OC comes from PRB’s more well-known Shipping and Handling, which I have yet to read, but as he assures the reader it’s not necessary to have done so before reading this piece, I shall take the path of least resistance. It turns out, he spoke truly. This is a fun comedy explaining where the CMCs got that industrial-size hair dryer in Just for Sidekicks. Watt’s a fun fellow stuck in an impossible, comedic situation. I was a mite peeved that all his effort ends up being for naught, but otherwise, I really don’t have any complaints about this piece.
Recommended for Light Reading
Harmonic Ultimatum by Chrome Myriad
Genre: Historical
This is an interesting “Celestia defeats Nightmare Moon” piece, because it intersects with Princess Twilight on the line “That Princess will be me!” and then diverges into its own thing. It’s also interesting because it turns a lot of the adulation that Celestia received, that made her sister so jealous in the first place, into religious fervor. Like, ponies in a church religious fervor. It does sort of work. What I like most about this, though, is how the Elements are used. They get to talk, and what they have to say really adds to the Nightmare Moon story. That said, this is mostly just a long action scene, and while those are often enjoyable, I know they don’t appeal to anyone.
Recommended If You Still Enjoy New Takes on This Story
Short and Bitter: A Minific Compilation by Ion-Sturm
I don’t often review fic compilations, but given that it’s the only thing Ion-Sturm has published so far, and I was rather excited to see that he was on the site in the first place, I didn’t want to pass this up. All three of these stories come from writeoffs, it would seem.
Darkness: Luna talking to the Nightmare before it takes control of her. As minifics go, this is pretty decent, hitting on a lot of emotion in a quick span, but I think the idea would have had more impact were it given more words. (Not possible in a minific contest, but somewhat expected of post-contest publication.) V
A Deal to Last a Lifetime: Scootaloo goes to Tartarus to buy a dream. What a phenomenal setup! The payoff is marred by the fact that it’s pretty easy to see coming, but I really like this one. The fact that pony hell is a physical place you can actually go to leaves open so many narrative possibilities, and this is one example of how you can use that potential well. R
Spikes and Stones: Ahh, now this one I remember just from the title. As action scenes go, this is tops, weaving together two times when Spike fought a golem with some very clever literary jiggery. It’s all about him learning to be himself and becoming a “real” dragon, and it’s pretty darn epic. There’s also a lot of great world-building at the end. I’m very glad that this still holds up. H
Clanless by The Rated Ponystar
Reading by Goombasa
Genre: AppleDash
Despite having been on my RIL, this is not the kind of story I want to read. I’m just done with the Apple clan as the go-to bad guys when a writer needs racism and/or homophobia to complicate a relationship. This piece stretched disbelief not by putting AJ and Dash into a relationship at the start, but by playing up that relationship and then undercutting it by mentioning it had only been six months (they're just moving way too fast, if you ask me). Worst, the line “She told the truth” as the reason given to Dash for why not just Applejack, but her three immediate relatives as well have been kicked out of the Apples is just a knife in the back. Things the story actually has going for it: The Apples were cheering when AJ announced she had a marefriend; it’s the pegasus part they didn’t appreciate. (This is, I’ll admit, far more believable than the reverse, but I’m still done with it.) Rainbow Dash’s reactions, while maybe a tad over the top, are definitely in character. And while I was mad at first about AJ choosing Dash over her entire family, live-in members included, it was later revealed that they stood with her against the rest of the clan, so that at least worked out well. Still, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone but the most hardcore of AppleDashers, especially given the incongruously romantic ending.
Vaguely Recommended
Crimson by Paradigm Shine
Reading by TheLostNarrator
Reading by GutiuSerenade, Gina M and Ashley H
Reading by Snogwritts
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Dark
This didn’t do anything for me. It’s a very standard, almost cliche sort of vampire(ish) story, and all its beats are completely transparent. It’s obvious that Fluttershy is hiding from herself. It’s obvious that she’s whatever’s been “disappearing” ponies lately. It was horrifically obvious that Rarity was going to interpret her odd behavior as a sign of being in love. (That was maybe the worst part.) This isn’t to say it’s poorly written, as the author makes very good use of showing and never actually explains what’s going on with Fluttershy. But I’ve definitely seen this before, and it doesn’t have anything going for itself.
Not Recommended
Big Macintosh’s Story by Ltmajordude
Suggested by Ltmajordude for being my 444th follower.
Genre: Meta
...This story has broken me. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m scared, and I need a hug.
Okay, let’s… Let’s go through this step by step. It starts off as a very poorly-written, horribly slice-of-life piece about Big Macintosh having a normal day. It features SpikeSpoon and RariMac shipping, mostly out of the blue. The dialogue is flat, the characters are wooden, each sentence is its own paragraph, encompassing exactly one idea. It features the most unnecessary of unnecessary Youtube links. Then, at the end of the first chapter, there’s a crack in reality and Big Mac notices Fimfiction. Or something. What follows is a repetition of the first chapter, up until Spike is mentioned, at which point the pink voices from beyond the void change Silver Spoon into Apple Bloom. And then things start getting weird. The writing starts fixing itself, and though it gets better toward the end, some of that criticism remains, yet it seems to be aware of its own flaws? It becomes a rapid-fire back and forth between story, “real” world, and author world. Everyone’s an actor, it’s like Big Macintosh’s own personal Truman Show. There’s even an emo teenager leaving comments on the story in the story. I can’t evaluate this on how well it works because I can’t figure out what it was trying to do. I upvoted in a fit of bewilderment. All I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. It might not be worth reading, but I have no idea.
I Literally Don’t Know
As a master of trollfics, it must have resonated with you.
I approve :)
Okay, I'm going to have to read that last one just to see what the heck is going on. Edit: Yeah, that was pretty strange.
Probably that mini-fic compilation, that Maud fic, and Harmonic Ultimatum too, they look interesting.
I remember reading that Trixie in a tavern fic a while back and enjoying it, and while I don't really remember that PRB fic I have a fav and an upvote on it so I apparently liked it as well.
2140762 Inquisitor puts stories on trial? (Justifiably) tears the great Que Sera Sera to shreds? Sign me up for a jolly good time!
(Followed)
2140996 Suggested victims on a postcard please :)
2140999 What genres/lengths/styles/amount of author fame are you looking for? Can we suggest our own SHORT story if we think it might survive intact, and won't be butt hurt when it very much doesn't?
2141005 I'll take any and all suggestions, but I figure I'll pick the ones I like the look of and then let the unwashed masses pick from a select 3 choices each time.
I like to be audience-driven in these things :)
2141009 Okay, I left half a dozen suggestions on your userpage.
2141036 I saw. Thank you.
Best Night Ever sounds like a good idea, and you can be damned sure that both Song of Syhlex and A Cup of Joe will show up sooner or later.
That and every time I hear a 'anything by X' it does light my dark side into wanting to tear something down. I absolutely love Five Hundred Little Murders and I despise Princess Celestia Hates Tea (one of my more infamous opinions, I think), so we'll see what else I can take a (not so proverbial) stab at.
2141072 500 Little Murders is one of the most brutal stories on this site, and I love it. It's part of what got me into writing fanfiction.
It's been forever since I read Princess Celestia Hates Tea, but I recall it being a bit over the top. Skywriter is still my favorite author here though.
Thanks for the review!
If you meant the reviewer from WRITE, I requested that review from them. =x
Ah feck, #900 was a washout.
Someday I will do a reading of a fic you like that you haven't already heard of!
*shakes fist at the sky*
Your review of Big Macintosh's Story broke me. I have no idea what to think about anything anymore, and I'm starting to question my reality. I think I'll have to read this just to figure out what the fuck is going on.
2141170
It's not bad, as in I don't hate it, it's just not really a story. :B Never fear, you're very good at reading stuff I already like, and I have come to appreciate your taste in fics at least. :)
2141341
zounds! :O
I can't believe I didn't notice the review of my story until now.
Thanks for the review.
2141341
Enjoy!
2140762
2140996
Okay, that may actually convince me to read his fic review series (for now). Que Sera Sera was one of those stories where the prose is pretty enough to make me lose my head, only to realize that the story's plot is incredibly stupid when I get it back.
Why don't you tell me you do these things? You know I bask in the adoration of my fans and use it to fuel my unholy tumor-like growth, after all. I also had to let Lysis know (quite a coincidence on that count, since I only became familiar with him recently) that you'd recommended his story.
But I digress, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much (I say again like the broken record I am)! Might have to do something about Darkness on of these days...
2141072
>Princess Celestia Hates Tea
I didn't laugh when I read it, ergo it failed its goal. A resounding "Meh". Let us be unpopular together!
2169974
I left you a story comment, silly. :P
2170735
I don't remember these things!
DX
I just wanted to comment on one thing about Clanless:
While you seem to be framing it as Applejack choosing Rainbow Dash over her entire family, I think you're actually kind of missing something important here - namely, that if someone's family really are a bunch of awful people, why would you want to associate with them? Someone who disowns their relatives because they fell in love with someone who is of the wrong tribe/religion/gender/race is, well, not a very person, and probably not someone you'd want to associate with.
It isn't really even about the other person, at that point.
I do agree it isn't that great of a story, but I don't feel like Applejack made the wrong choice in the context of the story.
2911338
But Applejack's family is important to her. I see her as the kind of person who would choose them any day, regardless of how awful they may or may not be.
One could argue that that just applies to immediate family, those we see on the show, but honestly it's been so long that I don't even know anymore c.c
"I upvoted in a fit of bewilderment." SERIOUSLY ROTFLMAO