Why am I even doing this? · 2:13am May 8th, 2014
There is absolutely no reason for this blog. I have no followers. I have no stories. And, above all else, I have no opinions or feelings to even write down.
I suppose I'm making this blog simply because I'm bored; simply because I have more productive things to be doing; or perhaps, simply because I know nobody will ever read it.
As for how my life is currently going, finals are approaching and I, as always, am nowhere near ready enough for them. It's my final year of high school and I'm on the home stretch of it. I'm still very unsure of what will happen after high school, but I can only hope for the best. As I write this, I should be studying for an AP Stat exam, but I'm lazy.
That's another thing, I'm lazy; often times, extremely so. And while I'm listing my downfalls, I really should mention writing. Writing has been the bane of my existence from the beginning of my mortal life, and possibly even before. That stated, I'm proud to say that I've only failed English once.
That was a bad year for me though. It was tenth grade, and we decided to move to Texas halfway through it. It was a new school with too many new people, about three times the size of my old school. I got stuck in an extremely advanced Spanish class, which I was highly unqualified for. I ended up dropping that class halfway through the semester. I managed to fail art somehow, but the teacher raised my grade to a C at the end of the year because "It's impossible to fail art." This was also the year that I failed English.
I hated that class, and it hated me. Not the students themselves, but the teacher and the subject. The teacher was highly biased in favor of women and accepted nothing short of perfection. With these expectations I over-stressed, as I am oft to do with writing, and ended up writing very little. That has always be my issue in writing, writing too little. Whether it be none at all or, at most, the first paragraph, I will always struggle to organize then translate my thoughts to pen and paper. I suppose that that is another reason for this blog, for me to practice writing some. I do need to improve upon it, but find little drive to do so. I am a mathematical person at heart, and hope to remain so for the remainder of my days.
While I absolutely despise writing, I have somewhat of a love for reading. I will stay up many a night to finish a good tale, or at least get as far as I can before passing out. I just re-read that last sentence and now realize that it makes little to no sense. No matter; this is meant to be a stream of consciousness moment for me anyway. Back to reading! Whether it be fanfic or an actual novel, I enjoy reading. I have not read much in the matter of non-fiction, but I do love me some sciency mumbo jumbo. As far as fiction goes, I enjoy nearly all of it, especially deep fantasy or sci-fi. Living out the wildest dreams in the imagination is a wonderful thing to experience, and being able to repeat it over and over again is even better. I hardly ever re-read something though. I already know what happens and how it ends. I may not remember the exact details, but I never have the drive to re-read something entirely. The closest I get is when I read the previous chapter to a fanfic when I've forgotten what's happened.
A journal would be a better place for all the ramblings. Why I chose to write them here, I have no idea. Perhaps it's because someone might eventually read this and think, "Wow, this guy." Any thoughts after that would then cease as they became brain dead from the shear amount of nothingness that is my personality. I when I say "personality," I'm referring to the emotional side of people, to the side that communes with it's peers, to the side that uses better sentence structures than lists of threes. I am not an emotional person at all; just ask anyone that has ever met me. I feel little to no emotion, and comprehend about as much from others. I strive to use this to my advantage and be analytically driven for every encounter I have. I plan to use math and logic, the little that I have, to solve all my problems. Screw emotions and their convoluted uses. Reason is a much greater raisin for this salad of a world we share.
That's another thing. I consider myself at least mildly insane. Now, I'm not going to go around attacking random people (yet), but I will revel in everything that I find funny. The main issue here is that I find just about everything funny. One such example is a funeral that I went to a week ago. Hysterical.
Whelp, I'm tired enough to stop now.
Shut up. Eat something, preferably pig. Be normal for who you are, for there is no such thing as "normal."
~Delsabar
WooHooo, a wall of text. Take that insane people who actually find their ways here!