Friendship is Card Games: Equestria Games · 6:26pm May 4th, 2014
Sorry for the delay. Would you believe my Internet dragon had a panic attack? 
Appropriately for the last episode before the finale, this one felt like a microcosm of the season. There were truly awesome moments, stretches of mediocrity, and one point where I was sorely tempted to mute the TV. It was erratic, but enjoyable overall. Most importantly, Derpy was there.
Spike's increasing butt monkeyism was explained: all respect for the dragon is stored in the Crystal Empire.
Ms. Harshwhinny was... Ms. Harshwhinny. Need I say more? No. No I do not.
"I cannot whinny any more harshly, Mr. the Dragon!"
I can't help but think that Spike could've calmed down if he'd shut his eyes while he counted to ten... but, of course, he'd have to have been calm to think of that. You can't open the box with the crowbar inside.
The autograph scene was rather ironic, since Spike has caused combustion through cogitation. Though it was in "Owl's Well That Ends Well."
Pictured: one of the few good things to come of that episode.
Maybe he just needs to be in the right emotional state. Still, at least the writers didn't rehash the "I'm afraid to tell my friend the truth" plot immediately after using it.
Spike moping for most of the Games is actually something of a boon for fanfic authors. The resulting ambiguity lets us come up with all kinds of possible events, including whatever Derpy competed in. Shot put? Pega-Roaman wrestling? Aerial high diving? I'm willing to bet she medalled.
I quite liked the Equestria Games Magical Encapsulation Grid. Antimagic is canon, and thus Dinky's special talent is legit. Huzzah for best filly!
On the other hand, at the very least, couldn't the pegasi in the stands whip up unfair atmospheric conditions? Or the earth ponies in the lower rows stomp in just the right way to induce tremors? I know the real reason for the disabling field was to remove unicorns from the climax's equation, but it does seem a little tribalist.
And that arrow... if the pegasi never made contact with the frozen cloud, I'd think it was made of Ice-9. Or maybe weather resistance protects one from exotic crystals.
All in all, this was a genuinely good Spike episode with no caveats, and I'm very happy for him. As long as he remembers to check and see what the song is before he volunteers for karaoke in the future. And now for cards:
Performance Anxiety W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block unless its controller pays X, and its activated abilities cost X more to activate, where X is the number of other creatures on the battlefield.
"All those eyes watching, staring, judging..."
—Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness
Unthinking Heroism 1W
Instant
Strive — Unthinking Heroism costs an additional W to cast for each target after the first.
The next time a source of your choice would deal damage this turn, it deals that damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures you control.
A hero acts not for glory or praise, but because someone must.
Disabling Field 2W
Enchantment
Activated abilities cost 2 more to activate unless they're mana abilities.
Activated abilities of Unicorns can't be activated.
"In a perfect, professional world, it wouldn't be needed. This one is neither."
—Lovingcup Harshwhinny
Pegasus Athlete 2W
Creature — Pegasus
Flying
1W: Put a +1/+1 counter on Pegasus Athlete.
Faster. Higher. Stronger.
1/1
Royal Box 2WW
Enchantment
When Royal Box enters the battlefield, exile all legendary creatures until Royal Box leaves the battlefield.
Whenever a legendary creature enters the battlefield, exile it until Royal Box leaves the battlefield.
Humble Expectations 1U
Instant
Counter target spell if you control the permanent with the highest converted mana cost or tied for the highest converted mana cost.
The Wonderbolts are among the few things that can force a sense of perspective on Rainbow Dash.
Willwarper 2U
Creature — Unicorn Wizard Rogue
U, T: Change the target of target spell with a single target unless its controller pays 2.
"I'm not cheating. I'm just making things more interesting."
1/2
Cryonimbus 4UU
Snow Creature — Elemental
Flying
Cryonimbus's power and toughness are each equal to the number of snow permanents on the battlefield.
In the time of Sombra, jagged fleets of hovering crystal choked the Empire's skies.
*/*
Mutilated Anthem 1BB
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Mutilated Anthem.
1BB, Sacrifice Mutilated Anthem: All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of verse counters on Mutilated Anthem.
Forget the Words 3B
Instant
As long as Forget the Words is on the stack, players can't activate abilities of Songs.
Remove all verse counters from all Songs.
"Nailed it!"
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Eyes on the Prize 1R
Enchantment
Combat damage can't be prevented.
"Let's not forget what we came here to do: be awesome, make Ponyville proud, and a win a lot of medals."
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Tongue of Flame 1R
Instant
Tongue of Flame deals 1 damage to each creature you don't control.
"Range, accuracy, intensity. I can manage two."
—Spike
Eldritch Ignition 2R
Sorcery
Eldritch Ignition deals damage equal to the number of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard to target creature or player.
Draw a card.
Ceremonial Torch 2R
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you control attacks, add R to your mana pool.
The torch burns for the entirety of the Games, silently urging the competitors to give their greatest efforts.
Dracoblast 2RR
Instant
Choose one — Dracoblast deals 4 damage to target creature or player; or destroy target snow creature.
Even the smallest dragon has an inferno in his heart.
Calisthenics 2G
Instant
Until end of turn, creatures you control gain "T: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature."
Training for the Games can't start early enough, and it never really ends.
Crushing Shame (wb)U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -4/-0, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
The greatest strength is in the mind, and so is the greatest weakness.
Ice Archer 1UR
Creature — Pony Archer
T: Ice Archer deals 1 damage to target creature.
2U: Untap Ice Archer.
Ice archery is a contest not of accuracy, but of rate of fire.
1/1
Revered Dragon 1RW
Creature — Dragon
Revered Dragon's power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures you control.
Revered Dragon has flying and trample as long as its power is 5 or greater.
A dragon's pride is even more potent than his greed.
*/*
Humiliate 1UUB
Instant
Counter target spell. That spell's controller loses life equal to its converted mana cost.
"The bigger the leap of faith, the more the crash will hurt."
—Discord
Crystal Hoofstallion 2WU
Creature — Pony Soldier
Flash
You may cast legendary creature cards as though they had flash.
Cadence's hoofstallions fetch honored guests faster than those guests can blink.
2/3
Leap of Logic 3UR
Sorcery
Discard a card, then draw cards equal to the discarded card's converted mana cost.
"If I can start fires with my mind, then reading minds should be a cinch!"
—Spike
Crystal Infantry 4WU
Creature — Pony Soldier
Vigilance
Whenever Crystal Infantry attacks, you may untap another target attacking creature.
Shining Armor trains troops so well that their discipline becomes contagious.
4/4
Ice Bow - 1
Artifact - Equipment
Permanents with ice counters on them don't untap unless their controllers pay 2 per ice counter on them.
Equipped creature has "T: Put an ice counter on target creature or artifact."
Equip 2
I don't like embarrassment comedy
the song was physically painful for me to watch through. Otherwise, a good episode. But it was surprising to me that after all that buildup (this is a subplot that began a full season earlier, after all) the Equestria Games was a single episode focusing on... Spike, of all characters, literally the only main character who very specifically hadn't been involved in the preparations for the games at all.
Oh, and I watched it on youtube a few hours after the live stream, and was trying to dodge spoilers, and I had barely glimpsed a mention of the season finale preview without seeing it, so I thought the mention of a new villain and epic drama was from the episode itself. So when I watched it, I had some expectations that were never fulfilled
So that was pretty weird. But still, good episode.
To be fair, Unicron magic can be done solo,subtle, and quick. Pegasi can't exactly hide flying around to mess with the weather. As for Derpy, she's obviously champion in the storm demolition event.
Mutilated Anthem should read "All creatures get", since any boosting or debuffing effect states what it hits, this one hits "All".
I fell like the flavor text for Tongue of Flame should be "or intensity" or "two at a time." It just feels a little grammatically off to me, not really sure why.
Some interesting cards in this group. Needs more combo.
The bit about ties on Humble Expectations is redundant!
I think your "Royal 8ox" is 8roken in the s8me w8y that O-Ring is 8roken. If you remove Royal 8ox from the 8attlefield 8efore the a8ility can resolve, I think the Legendary Creatures will 8e stuck in exile. I'm not sure, 8ut I know that ch8nging the text to "as long as you control Royal 8ox", it will remove that loophole.
~Vriska Serket
2078525 I agree, 8ut it's included on Triumph of Ferocity and <insert n8me of 8lack Triumph here>, so FoME might as well include it.
EDIT: 8lack Triumph is Triumph of Cruelty. Th8nks FoME, even though you responded to my previous comment instead of this one.
~Vriska Serket
2078753
Converted mana cost works differently than power, though. Other cards that compare the 'highest converted mana cost' to something don't mention ties.
And the 'until Royal Box leaves the battlefield' wording is a new template they introduced recently specifically to fix O-Ring tricks. (Although it's not like such tricks really needed to be 'fixed' to begin with, grumble grumble bah
)
2076916
Ice Archer began as a blue-red Stun Sniper, but I wanted it to be more than a recolor. I went through several possible iterations before settling on one that admittedly does a better job of capturing the feel of the event than that of the armament.
2077313
"10, 9.5, 10, 10... and a 6 from the griffin judge."
"She nearly killed me!"
"Oh, you would've been fine, you pansy."
2078824
Actually, converted mana cost and power templating are near identical. The only difference is that cost is highest, while power is greatest. For effects like Torrent of Fire, which you were probably thinking of, analogous effects like Essence Harvest don't mention ties either. For effects like Juxtapose and Desecrator Hag, ties are explicitly mentioned, using the same phrasing. Therefore, a cost mechanic that functions along the same lines as the Avacyn Restored Triumphs is going to have identical templating.
2078747
As nemryn noted, Royal Box uses the revised version of the effect seen on Banisher Priest and Banishing Light.
Also, you're thinking of Triumph of Cruelty.
Pegasus Athlete has its own Daily Regimen, nice.
I always feel like two-mode spells should have an entwine cost; I probably would've templated Dracoblast as "Dracoblast deals 4 damage to target creature. If it's a snow creature, destroy it instead."
2078747 Could you kindly not replace all your 'b's and some random vowels with '8's? It makes your posts pointlessly hard to read, especially since you aren't consistent. If you simply must use "8" in strange places, please use it just for "b" and "B", not "a" or "o". You gave me fits trying to figure out what "sbme" and "wby" were supposed to be. My autocorrect wanted to make that second one into "why", and I have to agree: why make yourself harder to understand? (Sorry about this little rant. It's been building for a while.)
2079441
You may have a point. I was thinking of Consuming Bonfire, but Eye Gouge might be the better comparison. I'll have to think about this...
As for arachnidsGrip, blame Homestuck. The character in question is rather inconsistent with her typing quirk.
2079470 2079441 Not inconsistent at all. 8 repl8ces 'ay' in the middle of a word, 'ate' at the end, and 'b' everywh8re, except when she's really 8ngry, in which c8se she 8egins shouting and R8PL8C8S 8LL V8W8LS W8TH 8s!!!!!!!!
~Vriska Serket