Free Time & Bookplayer's 50 Questions

Only this morning was I thinking about how long it had been since I had any real activity here on this fine webpage. You see, normally I am based in Newcastle, where free time is spent seeing friends, playing games, drinking heavily, or any combination of the aforementioned. This weekend I have been visiting my sister in our fine, albeit expensive, capital of London, where free time was spent seeing family, touring the city, drinking heavily, or any combination of the aforementioned. This week, however, I am stationed at my parents' abode in Crewe, where free time consists of seeing old friends and drinking heavily. The absence of a third activity has led me to browsing the site a little more, and stumbling upon a free time-killing activity hosted by the most reputable Bookplayer.

I suppose I can't complain about having so much to do while in Newcastle, for I like to be kept busy, however I do find my lack of penmanship on any work of fiction regrettable, and I had such plans for my writing! Alas, perhaps this summer shall be different, with less intensive university work... there's even the possibility of a new story I have half a chapter written for. But all such news would be rumour and speculation, and likely it would be that few would care, understandably.

But I digress, for if you are here, which you are, you are here for my answers to another's questions, but if you are here for another reason, which I suppose could be possible, you may wish to become not here, as I spout my largely unfounded opinions upon the collective horseworld we all know and love.

The Princesses:
1. How old are Celestia and Luna?
Since they haven't aged a minute in a thousand years, they have to be pretty old, but I'd like to imagine there was a time preceding their reign. Something in the region of 10,000 years sounds pertinent. I was going to say 100,000, but since so much happened 1,000 years before the present, with not a single mention of the time before that, I feel 9,000 years of untold information is more likely than 99,000.

2. How old is Cadance?
Working off the way Celestia and Luna can be parallel to women in their 30's in our bipedal world, while Cadence (Yes I'm spelling it differently to you, bookplayer, since I derive it from cadenza, but I won't hold your preferential spelling against you, since I believe Cadance is the canon spelling, not to mention we don't see eye to eye on many a word's arrangement of letters from across the pond) is more parallel to a late teen or lady in her early 20's. As such, taking my answer to question 1 into account, let's say 6,000 years. This would mean she was alive during all the business that kicked off 1,000 canon years ago. Where was she? Intensive alicorn training? Trapped in crystals? Quaffing mead with viking-like ponies from Equestria's far north crystal biosphere? All interesting theories...

3. Were Celestia and Luna always alicorns, or did they ascend?
Always alicorns. Their mother had a virgin birth of Celestia via parthenogenesis and she is hailed as the new messiah. A year or two later and Luna is birthed in the same fashion from the same mother, raising awkward questions about the virginal 'purity' of the birth of the sisters. The mother is executed by fire in a cruel society, as Celestia watches the flames engulf her singular parent and fears the searing kiss of a flame until her mastery of light-bringer, fire-starter, the sun itself.

4. Are Cadance and Twilight immortal?
Nope, everything ends, especially life. But an extra few thousand years only serves as time to recall the short life once lived.

5. Have there been other alicorns in the past?
Long ago in a distant land, the alicorn Aku alicorns existed as the Greek gods of our world once did.

6. How much authority do Celestia and Luna have in Equestria?
Complete authority is present but does not equate to complete leadership. No pony is an island, and the souring of one's subjects would lead only to the severance of one's leadership.

7. Does Shining Armor rule The Crystal Empire along side of Cadance?
Shining Armour rules certain sections and provinces, such as the corn dog stand in the centre of town, and the tabletop game basement beneath the castle. The basement used to be a torture chamber, but with the vanquishing of King Sombra it became surplus to requirements apart from a few choice instruments that Cadence had moved upstairs.

8. Other than Twilight, Luna, and Cadance, what relationships have been important to Celestia in her lifetime (students, close friends, lovers, family)?
Starswirl, as seen in the comics, and her mother for a brief period. The princesses both periodically adopt students both to train the young ponies, and to keep their own skills sharp.

Ponies and Equestrian Culture:
9. Are there still cultural differences between earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, or is the culture homogeneous by the time shown in canon? Are there cultural stereotypes (positive or negative)?
Unicorn master race hurrhurrhurr xoxo. There will always be need for the general separation of races due to the specificity of their inherent skills, specifically weather control from pegasi. That is not to say, however, that complete segregation is pertinent, as one race is rendered useless without the help of others, and intermingling and coexistence is crucial in modern Equestria.

10. Are there foods or items native to Cloudsdale that are uncommon on the ground? Are there foods or items on the ground that are uncommon in Cloudsdale?
Chunks of cloud make a readily available clean water source for pegasi in passing. One winged entrepreneur attempted to sell cloud chunks to pegasi as the equivalent to bottled water, however the pegasi simply drank from the cloud under the shopkeeper's stall, leaving it to crash to the earth under the weight of their own hubris. This is where the phrase 'like trying to sell clouds in Cloudsdale' originates. Cooked food is also highly more abundant on the ground due to the far more practical environment for fires.

11. Can all unicorns learn all spells, given the time and effort spent practicing them, or is magical talent usually limited in some way?
Time and effort are huge factors, but some things are innate and extremely hard to learn. You can't mould clay that's set.

12. Earth pony magic: Does it exist? What is it?
No it does not, and therefore it isn't.

13. Some pony families we’ve seen seem to have naming conventions (the Apples, Twilight’s family) and others don’t appear to (Rarity’s family, Pinkie’s family), which is more common? Are there reasons for one or the other?
Most common is the naming of a child in a manner that would become a pony suited to the specific talent the parents want to pressure that child into, hence the high prevalence of ponies with synonymous cutie marks and names.

14. How much formal schooling is an average, middle class pony expected to complete?
Virtually none. With every pony expected to find their own special talent, those that require specialist knowledge will either seek education out of their own accord, or be at a disadvantage in their field.

15. What’s the average lifespan for a pony? At what age is a pony expected to be independent of their parents?
Because I like to anthropomorphise my coloured, talking horses I'd say average lifespan could be around 80 years, with independence occurring around the teenage stage.

16. Are there roughly an equal number of male and female ponies?
Female ponies greatly outnumber their male counterparts. Horse lesbianism sweeps Equestria, and straight mares search vainly for a stallion of their own, but they're all so flawed as we've seen in the show that a heterosexual marriage is a rare occurrence.

17. How informed are most ponies about things that happen in other parts of Equestria? What about other parts of the world?
When one's lifelong special talent is growing the perfect daisy in your back garden, one barely sees beyond its borders.

The Main Characters:
18. How old are the Mane Six? Spike? The CMC?
I'd put the mane six at around 18. Old enough to know what they're doing on their own but still a distance to maturity. Spike is early teens while the CMC are a couple of years younger.

19. Did Fluttershy remain on the ground after getting her cutie mark? Were she and Rainbow Dash friends all along, or did they drift apart for a while?
She flew back up to tell Dash what had happened, meeting her halfway between ground and cloud. They were associates all along. Not best of friends, but friendly to each other.

20. Rarity and Applejack both seem to have grown up in Ponyville. What were their interactions like before the show?
Rarity walked the markets with her parents, unable to understand why a filly her age was selling apples without her mother or father. Applejack was the only thing she would spend longer staring at than the fabric stall. Applejack is still unaware of Rarity's youthful fascination with her to this day.

21. What do Twilight and Spike consider their relationship to be?
Like having a stepmother, the lines between mother and sister become blurred with time.

22. When did Pinkie move in with the Cakes? Is she a worker who rents a room, an apprentice, or is there some other relationship?
Upon her arrival into Ponyville, Pinkie impressed the Cakes with her baking skills, prompting her beginnings of an entry-level pastry chef working at reduced pay and no rent. She was later accepted into the Cake family where all money issues such as rent were dropped, and she earns her money as a quarter of the total profits of Sugarcube Corner, with Mr and Mrs cake receiving the rest.

23. Who among the Mane Six had the best parents growing up? The worst parents?
Applejack's parents helped to prepare her for the real world in the short time they were alive. Fluttershy's parents constantly argued, leading to infrequent but severe domestic abuse. No other character knows this secret.

24. Why didn’t the CMC hang out more/know each other before Call of the Cutie?
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both knew each other for a brief period before Applebloom transferred to the schoolhouse from being homeschooled.

25. Is Scootaloo an orphan? Will she ever be able to fly?
Scootaloo's parents are out there somewhere, but whatever they're doing, they're not teaching her to fly. She'll be grounded for a long time, perhaps until the growth spurts of puberty set in.

26. Will Apple Bloom’s cutie mark involve an apple in some way, even if it’s unrelated to farming or baking?
It better, or she's getting disowned.

27. How is Sweetie Belle’s relationship with their parents different than Rarity’s was?
As the younger sister she had less independence, more sheltering from the real world, but no more or less love in her upbringing than her big sister Rarity.

Side and Background Characters:
28. Is Mr. Cake the father of the Cake twins or not?
HERE COMES THE PATERNITY TEST. JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY.

29. Are Big Mac and Cheerilee an item, romantically?
Off and on, but Mac would prefer a simpler mare, while Cheerilee would prefer a more talkative stallion.

30. How did Prince Blueblood get his title?
Celestia was about to bestow princehood upon somepony worthy, when Blueblood came careening through the door, maybe having slipped on a banana peel or something, and bumped into the other stallion, effectively taking his place at the last second. Celestia opens her eyes to find she just made her arsehole nephew a prince and she's all like 'BLUEBLOOOOOOOOOOOD' and then Blueblood looks at the camera all like 'uh-oh' and then the music goes wah-wah-waaaaaaaaah.

31. Is Silver Spoon equally as bad as Diamond Tiara?
Silver Spoon eventually realises being a bitch isn't going to get anywhere in life. Diamond Tiara has known this for a long time, but hasn't changed due to the fact she has no aspirations to get anywhere but where she is now.

32. Is Zecora’s magic common among zebras?
Not all asians are good at maths, but statistically...

33. Why does Daring Do publish her stories as fiction?
Because she can give her more sex appeal as a fictional character. She'd rather write 'Daring Do wiped the sweat from her toned chest as she unfurled her gracious wings, shining in the warm sunset', than 'Daring Do was on her sixth day of eating nothing but bugs in the jungle, and it was doing funny things to her digestive system. She'd have to find some fibre soon, and fast.'

34. Do you have a strong headcanon for any non-speaking or one line background ponies that you want to share?
Octavia and Vinyl belong to each other. It just works too perfectly.

Other Species:
35. Does Equestria differentiate between speaking and non-speaking species, in terms of respect, rights and legal responsibilities? Is there some other line or scale used? (For example, how are cows classified? Diamond Dogs? A chimera?)
Anything with sentience fights for its own rights. If it doesn't attempt to be treated equally, it is treated as a lower species.

36. Do other speaking species form their own nations, or are all nations largely integrated, with some having larger populations of a species than others?
Segregation is not uncommon, and species tend to stay in groups, but that is not to say groups do not coexist.

37. Are minotaurs related to cows at all?
It was a wild weekend for Mooriella all those millennia ago...

38. Do all zebras rhyme?
The ponies of Ponyville assume so, but in reality Zecora is just a bit quirky and thought it would be a fun thing to do for the rest of her life.

39. Do zebra cutie marks work the same way as pony cutie marks?
No, they are given like Maori tattoos.

40. Do any species have types of magic, other than ponies and zebras?
Goats have a darker magic but do not act upon it due to only semi-sentience. Much like that bug I can't remember that's super poisonous but cant bite a human because its mouth is too small.

41. Is the lack of buffalo presence in Equestria cultural, or simply because most pony towns aren’t built to accommodate a full grown buffalo?
Buffalo find it hard to trust ponies after the theft of their land, but with the latest coexistence milestone in Appleloosa, integration is one step closer, and larger seats and doors for buffalo will crop up, just the same as disabled spaces and ramps in our world.

Headcanon and You:
42. Do you consider official sources other than the show (comics, card game text, movies, novels, etc.) to be canon?
All licensed, all canon.

43. Do you have one headcanon that you always use, or do you switch depending on projects?
I vary slightly, but the same themes always under-ride any new project.

44. Can you easily accept the headcanons of different writers? Do you prefer when stories match your headcanon?
A fresh perspective is always welcome, but I do have a soft spot for those that see eye to eye with me on irrelevant situations formed upon the horseworld.

45. Is there a part of your headcanon that you wish was more popular among writers?
Most of my headcanon is fairly mainstream, disappointingly. I suppose I'm fond of my take on Tartarus and goats possessing dormant black magic but if that were to be more prevalent, there would likely be far too much angst and black alicorn OCs to coincide with it.

46. Is there a popular piece of headcanon that other writers use that you dislike?
I rarely enjoy the addition of Derpy to a story, please direct your hate to the comments below.

47. Have you ever written a story or blogpost just to explain some part of your headcanon (other than this one)?
I have not, perhaps I should blog more, but that's a different story entirely...

48. Does your headcanon influence things like your favorite pony, ship, or episode?
Applejack is undeniably best pony, regardless of anyone's headcanon. However, Octavia and Vinyl is my favourite ship, and heavily influenced by headcanon due to the lack of canon material upon which to base anything.

49. Would it bother you if the show proved part of your headcanon wrong? Any specific piece that would really bother you to lose?
If Twilight gets another pair of wings I'm leaving the fandom.

50. Is there something that wasn't asked about here, but you feel like you need to explain to everyone?
Not all villains can be reformed.

WELL THEN, this took me longer than I anticipated but a free time-killer it was indeed. After taking more than a few hours to think and type and reconstruct this blog it is of small wonder that I rarely write these days. It is not that I didn't enjoy doing all of this, but effort to response ratio is likely to be dramatically skewed. For instance, I would probably not have read a blog this length on my notifications page, as I am sure the majority of my small pool of watchers will share the same habit. Just one conversational comment will have made this effort worth it to me, though. So if you have come this far, perhaps you're willing to go a little further...