Mar
15th
2014
- Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
Bad Horse
Beneath the microscope, you contain galaxies.
Bad Horse
Joined 11th Apr, 2012 ·
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My wife accurately summed up this bit of off-the-cuff writing as "the most ridiculous thing (she'd) ever read."
1926664 How far did you throw her?
1926685
I would not presume to! This sort of thing takes training!
Kind of cute and oddly erotic despite the fact that nopony actually has sex. And it's the sort of backstory I might imagine for Harshwhinny -- a lot of being betrayed leading to sour loneliness.
1926714 What happened to "write what you know"?
1926731
It kind of went out the window when I started writing about flying pink unicorn princesses.
Thank you for bringing this to my awareness, Bad Horse. I've had to foreswear tumblr, so I'd have missed this entirely if it weren't for you.
1926664
I agree with her. This was glorious in its ridiculosity. Also:
This is a fantastic mental image. Makes me wonder what Celestia was like during early Summer Sun Celebrations.
1926747
Thank you! This is a detail of my headcanon Cady I slipped in. We may see it in my "serious" stories at some point.
1926731 'cause knowing is half the battle.
Is there something
That you've wanted
More than anything?
Something
You took for granted--
Never
Stopped to think?...
(Click thru to YouTube--sorry)
EDIT--okay the guy on the right:
MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE MURDERFACE...
...amirite?
So good.
More skywriter-written heartbutt? Yes please!
Yes indeed, everyone should be avidly reading and keeping up with Her Esteemed Inspectrix Harshwhinney.
Anyone with any decent measure of common sense or taste, certainly. *disdainful sniff*
That was a thing of strange beauty.
Also I have no laughed that much in ages.
1926745 You don't need to give up on it. You need to go to Burning Man.
I like this story a lot more than your original wife-throwing story, which was just one joke, extended to story length. This one is, as SPark said, a thing of strange beauty: funny, but also a complete story; ridiculous, yet a little bit touching.
I am not entirely certain what my reaction should be.
Do I laugh?
Do I cry?
Do I do calisthenics?
1927073
Thanks! I like it better too, although the polish level is lower. I leave stuff rough over on Tumblr.
Irony! Because... tumblers are what you polish rocks with. I guess? Look, I don't know. It's like five in the A.M. right now.
1927322
But after being thrown by the best there ever was, how will Shining ever be good enough for Cadence now?
1927360
I'll ship it!
1926745
Technically, your wife is more of an Empress.
1927322
Lost daughter...
You don't really mean....do you?
If you do I think I might be in love with you
That was beautiful, Skywriter, and for sheer humor it was closely followed by your conversation with Bad Horse.
1927360
Their marriage is facing a tough period now, that's for certain.
1927438
Not sure what I think you think I think I mean! I hope I've done something that makes you love me, however.
1927378
I'm not sure our farm counts as an "empire," but if it does, the furry little vassals dwelling in it could use some more repression so they don't keep eating the cords and things like that.
1929704
It depends on how Great and Powerful things are.
Though, really, I think you actually have Candybutt's special talent, it's just that since you lack a horn, you simply uses words.
1929937
>implying I do not have a horn
>implying I am not a pretty pretty pony princess
See, when I was discussing "write what you know" with Bad Horse below, I was referring only to the color pink. Everything else is old hat.
In conclusion, whinny.
1930417
Aaaaaaaah
It all makes sense now.
1926772 What I like about the guy on the right is that his moustache looks like a tiny version of his hairdo.
1926727
Whoa... this was totally erotic. Almost as erotic as a piledriver.
What? If having complete control over someone as you hold them upside down momentarily before jumping up into a sit out, driving the top of their head into the canvas in a pistoning motion isn't erotic, then I know nothing.
Adjusting the position of your Cadance to aim her at the bullseye. Cocking back your Cadance as you ready your foreleg for the throw. Whispering sweet nothings into your Cadance's ear, encouraging her to stiffen and become more aerodynamic. Licking your Cadance for good luck...
You let her fly. The throw is good, but she veers off into the crowd as if guided by her own volition. She speeds up, accelerating to speeds you didn't know you could throw at. Your Cadance smashes right into a mare who is having a casual conversation with her Shining Armor in the stands.
The mare drops the cotton candy she was selling and has a mere moment to express her surprise as she and your Cadance make glomping contact. Pink, irradiating love-fire explodes outward, shaping into a mushroom cloud that can be seen all over, even in the zero visibility of the winter wastes.
Turns out the cotton candy seller was a changeling, with no other casualties because nuclear love fire doesn't hurt those who can love. All is well and love has triumphed and all that other non sexualized crap (Booooooooooo!).
Oh, and explosions are erotic, too.
1945831
ROFLMAO!!!
The story was meant to be more than a little bit funny -- and I think it was also referencing the famous intercept of Spike and the Crystal Heart, in which Shining Armor actually did toss Cadance as if she was some sort of living airplane being propelled aloft from a launch catapult.
1945932
While executing a piledriver, it can be said that the opponent is Spike'd into the ground.
Spikes are therefore erotic.
1946887
Now if only Rarity could be convinced of your theory!