• Member Since 16th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen March 17th

HiddenUnderACouch


What's that smell? Is it blood?!... No, it's a Snickers bar... But what is inside?

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Mar
10th
2014

Rage review: Sombra. Saga of Hatred · 10:20pm Mar 10th, 2014

Comments ( 11 )

er... this is gonna be really awkward to say but...
He actually brings up a lot of good points.
Especially about the awkward dialogue and the inconsistencies. and the issue with the padding.
I've always wanted to read a Sombra origin story, and was quite excited when I found your fic, but to be quite honest I wasn't very happy with it. I can't even read all the chapters, I have to skip a few because I actually find myself not caring about these characters and wish things would just get to the point. You have to make us like a character or at least know who they are and what they're motives are before you try and make us feel bad for him.

I'm not being hostile, honest, I'm just saying he's not exactly wrong in his criticisms.

1915027 I never said he was wrong :ajbemused:

1915027 It's not like I'm calling for a holy crusade against him. I know that my writing has problems, and I am working on them.

Get it? Working! I am a human being, and can't get instantly godlike when my mistakes are pointed out.

I enjoyed your story, I haven;t read the latest chapter yet because I've been busy watching The Last of Us but I might get a chance tonight.
I read the review, as far as I can make out he was hungover and I don't think anyone does their best thinking then, but whatever really.
The point I'm trying to convey here is that he dislikes slow paced stories, and is probably more into the light fluff stuff like "Luna turns on a toaster" etc, etc.
I personally don't care for that, that's cool, I'd rather review something I like, such as, say, a Halo fic with Halo lore- I'd make correction and all that sorta thing. But he plowed on through a slow paced fic that he basically stated he didn't like (cohesive sentences) and attempted to review it anyway.
I enjoyed your story, and I didn't read your first shot at it, but I assume its gonna be long. At the pace your going, I hope you can make it consistent, or if you speed it up don't speed it up unnecessarily -Suddenly, Evil Sombra appears and wants your cats for a blood sacrifice!- like that etc.
I can't honestly tell where exactly your going with your fic, but we all know the end result. I hope you make good use of those Celestia and Luna tags though.

1915039 I never said you did. although my wording may have conveyed that. I'm sorry, I was speed typing cuz I had to go run an errand, I didn't get the chance to look over what I wrote or get to say this: I don't think he thinks your story is overrated. and I don't think it's overrated either. You have plenty of fans who enjoy it, and I admit chapter 6 (was it?) was really well written in terms of emotion. At the end my hand was over my mouth in shock and sadness. You really managed to make me feel for them.

*chuckle* As for calling a Holy Crusade against him; since your blog didn't give much of your take on it I think it's safe to assume that most of us assumed that you weren't pleased. Plus saying "express your thought" is open to interpretation. Not calling you a liar, just pointing out some people may have misunderstood your intentions behind telling us about this rage review.

It's good that you realize your writing has problems, and it's great that you strive to improve and better yourself. After all that's all an author can do: continue to write, improve and grow in their craft. Like I said, I'm not attacking you, and I understand improving is a gradual process. I never said that now that your flaws have been pointed out you have to instantaneously become the god of all writing. From your responses to him, you were coming off as a bit cocky (to me at least) so it gave the impression that weren't acknowledging your mistakes. You have to understand and accept them, and work to get better, which it sounds like your actively doing and that's great!
Maybe it wasn't exactly my cup of tea, but it definitely was for others and that's something to be proud of :twilightsmile:

Always be proud of your work, even if it never makes New York's Best seller list. :twilightsmile: Even with the mistakes that are mentioned, I greatly enjoy reading the story and thus I will continue to read it. :eeyup:

Your fic was the reason i bothered to make an account in the first place...But thanks aside..

The characters are fairly decent, but i feel a few sometimes get left out or tossed aside for a fairly long amount of time...I mean what ever happened to Sapphire? Next, the grammar is going well so far...I might have seen an error or two but overlooked it, but on that mark, it's fairly perfect...Now the plot....It's a first to find such a in-depth story for a character like Sombrero:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright: but for the beginning,which i must admit brought down the hammer fairly god damn hard, which i feel i enjoyed a little to much..:pinkiecrazy:.. But still, seeing Sombras change from adolescency to the chapter we all hit now...I must admit i enjoy what you threw out so far..So on a far note...I would give the story a 9/10... It's not there quite yet.:eeyup:

1917858 Thanks, but...

Who the hell is Sapphire? I don't have a character like that. :rainbowhuh:

1919627 ...Excuse me as i go back a few chapters to find what Sombras fathers name was...FUCKING DERPITY DERP AWAAAAAY!:derpytongue2:

1919627 HOW THE FUCK DID I MISTAKE AMETHYST FOR SAPPHIRE?!:facehoof:

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