Some epic quotes

I shall here post my collection of EPIC quotes i found while reading which i wrote down.

and its big

Sometimes, looking like a badass is worth the handicap.

Luna glared at the laughing griffon and rolled her eyes. “And we thought we were having a touching moment. It seems we were mistaken,” she grumbled.

Pinkie Pie just looked him in the eyes and said something about 'cupcakes', at least that one was innocent enough.

It was kind of an honor to be partially mind-raped by a celebrity

Why take over your enemy using magic or biochemical when simply blowing them to the consistency of strawberry pudding was so much faster?

he was good at minecraft, but that was because he could build it as he went, and change whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. That and it didn't need to obey the laws of physics.

She had taken a bath in it once. (insert disturbing mental image here)

a great amount of confusion came to mind as Psycho grabbed two chickens and tied them together with some string. He then proceeded to swing them around himself like nunchuks.

"I only wanted some pie!"

Skies clear? Check. No movement? Check. Planets aligned? ‘Why’s that important?’

I stood there, my eye twitching dangerously, as I scratched at the bald spot that was my chin. “Somepony push ‘Control+Z’”

“Urge…to kill, rising,”

We nod, smile, and die of a heart attack before anyone asks questions.

That would have been funny if the princess started spewing anti-communist anecdotes.

When their voices combine they summon Fus Ro Dah

“You hear that steps? You haven’t defeated me yet! I will beat you some day, believe it!”

“YOU ARE A PERVERTED DUMBASS!” “I regret nothing.”

“I’M NAKED! OH GEEZUS I’M NAKED!”

“OhwaitIjustrememberedIleftmybedonfireI’llbebackinasecond!” With that poor excuse, he jumped out of his chair and ran outside.

“I…have to go water…the…sun…well, look at the time! I gotta go! Bye!”

It was insightful. It was eye-opening. It was probably a little bit unhealthy. Time to take a break.

Feel the karma, Mobius. Sometimes it’s cool, other times it’s a dick.”

No we're all just four... friends... I suppose is what you would call us. Even though we've killed each other several times.

“No, I’m in a relationship with a doughnut.” “Good enough

"Love in a nutshell is this: a long confusing ordeal in which you can wish you were dead, get mauled by the opposite gender, and many other unpleasant things."

Okay, who would murmur muffins in their sleep? I mean seriously. Not even I, Gerald McCormack, would mutter such things!

"The prosecution calls Miss Pinkie Pie to the stand," Wheeler replied.

“It sure was, Ace. It’s sad to see Shy Sparrow exit the tournament, so close to the finals, but at least his family gets to bury him now.”

Incidentally, this is why the new rulebook only authorizes living ponies for major tournaments.”

Unfortunately people tended to be unreasonably attached to their blood for some reason.

Gilda’s only response was to give Twilight the clearest ‘I told you so’ look in the history of Equestria.

‘I don't enjoy killing, but when done righteously, it's just a chore, like any other’

“I think you’re stomach would agree with me.”

Pinkie is probably going to think that I’m still playing tag with her, best wait a while until she calms down… Wait. Pinkie and calm down?

Any further attempts at trying to force her way into his room had resulted in the sort of abject failure that only the truly sadistic and well-prepared can engineer.

However, it was going to be math time after recess. The worst enemy of students was readying to seep it's venom-dripping fangs into their brains and turn them into confused and mindless zombies.

Curses! If I fall into a coma, you and I are going to have a LOOOONG talk subconsciousness."

My think broke. It was hard to brain.

'I've seen enough My Little Pony to know where this is going....... what is wrong with my brain?'

Dear Celestia, this can only end in one of three possibilities: disaster, chaos, or anarchy.

Hey, want to guess what day five was like? I'll give you a hint. It starts with...hell. And it also ends with...hell. There's also a lot of hell in the middle of hell and hell too. In fact, one could say that the fifth day was a gigantic hell on hell sandwich heavy on the hell...WITHOUT a pickle. At least the damn pickle would have made things better...

What is it with ponies and touching me in very uncomfortable ways?

"though perhaps to someone like you, who has studied your species...and had to live with these Canadians, this world might seem that way at first glance."

Did she just basically order that I go with Sparky? The tormentor of my dreams? The destroyer of ear lobes?

To think I was fooled into believing she was 'benign, caring, and understanding'. Underneath that graceful and seemingly sincere exterior lies the heart of a troll!

If she got me some bacon, I'd follow her into the depths of hell at this point even.

isual rape is not a pretty sight. Especially coming from a unicorn pony. A child's dream come true, unicorn pony. This is very awkward.

Pinkie Pie...using LOGIC?! That's it; stop the world, I want to get off!

‘Welcome-to-Equestria-Glad-You’re-Not-Dead-Thank-You!’ party!”

I swallowed my nervousness. [It was very hard to do without any ketchup around. Ketchup goes with everything.]

I wonder where he got that? Well he was with Pinkie Pie best not to question it...ever.

I snapped my hooves. [Screw physics! I have hooves!]

Tythus uses the Royal Caps Lock? Ha! Wait till Disarray hears about this!

What followed was probably the most excited series of giggles Kassadin had ever heard related to studying magic.

"My guardian star is the Mythbusters."

“Eyup,” He stated simply. Gotta love Big Mac. I mean, he could probably sum up War and Peace in five words! How cool is that?

“Back in my day, thieves didn’t make so much noise when they were trying to rob someone. Noxus really does need reform.”

"Do not question drunk science!"

given how dangerous it can be. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! ..... do it at a friend's house.....

The spiders were turned into the crispy bacon bits you get with salads. What? You didn't know that's what they really were?

Although her latest invention, the Gatling-party-cannon was impressive, he doubted there'd be a time she'd need to set up 100 parties a second.

filling seal after seal to the brim with his chakra, unknowingly giving Pinkie enough juice to power a weapon of mass destruction

catching her chasing the cat with buttered toast and glue, shouting "For Science!"

“Most ponies dismissed myths and rumours of him as just old pony tales,” Twilight mentioned. Oh, pony tales. Ponytails. Hilarious.

Tip: Remember, if a friend dies, your first priority is to loot his corpse

"I call hacks."

he knew that Dash would go in on even terrible hands, that AJ couldn't bluff to save her life, and that trying to read Pinkie caused migranes. He was rather certain that Twilight could count cards, but couldn't prove it.

What? No! You can't talk to me like this! This is so much of the fourth wall broken! the sky shouted back.

“Look! Look at that distraction over there! It looks like cake!”

I'll make it so you can't respawn.

I began to gather the required magic into my horn, in order to once again tear time and space to pieces. I hope that it doesn’t mind too much; it can be a very dangerous thing when space and time dislike you, they may decide you should go someplace really weird.

Traveling through space and time often causes the appearance of strange things, but this really takes the cake. I mean have you ever seen the world try to divide by zero?

This meant one of two things; either physics couldn’t survive being around two Pies and had fled in absolute terror or Fluttershy was a lot stronger than she looked.

The first thing I did was use the Pie Beacon Spell; I have no idea how it actually works, but Pie mares can track the thing down like it was the tastiest treat on Equestria.

“Well since no one wants to hear stories about me.” The entire library nodded in agreement.

Oh no! Damien was buying carrots! The horror!

“I am never. Buying. A house. Again,” he muttered resolutely. Self-righteous heroes? Overzealous gods? Annoying peasants? He could handle those. Paperwork? Of that magnitude? Never. Again.

Luckily those dreams probably wouldn’t show up in this story (Sucks to be you, huh reader! Now you’re gripped with curiosity! And if you’re not, then…well, shut up.)

Rarity looked pensive for a moment before replying. “No. He’s a tad over the top and dramatic when the moment strikes him. It’s a little strange.” She looked around at her friends, all of which were staring at her incredulously. “What?”

Damien’s beak clacked shut before he shook his head in wonder. It seemed to be pointless to try and go against the force of nature that was Pinkie Pie Party Mode.

“I am! My arcane senses have been finely tuned over the centuries to pinpoint precision and I can’t sense the slightest trace of a spell whenever Pinkie does… whatever it is she does.”

Investigation mode, activated.
I hid in a bush,

I thought about it. It was dangerous, had way more risks than benefits, and it was Twilight's first time casting the spell.
"Heck yeah!"

“No but it would probably help me make your life miserable. How do you feel about waking to discover your coat is bright pink?”
Luna narrowed her eyes at him. “Thou would never dare-”
“Keep up these visits and we’ll find out in a century.” Damien smiled back sweetly.

“Why didst thou choose to be a griffon?”
Damien wiggled his claws in the air between them with a wry grin. “Fingers. I can’t imagine giving them up by becoming a pony.”

"I'm just being frank."
"Can I be Stan, then?"

Wait… Either he just became strong enough to make a pony feel as heavy as the sugar filled treat OR Pinkie is capable of shifting the laws of gravity into her own hooves and can manipulate the weight of objects and herself…
…
Highly likely the second option.

://> Brain implosion with a side order of zombie invasion which is yet to happen (A/N: Soon zombie plans shall come to reality, you know it and I know it)
://> There is no god and all will be destroyed by the flying spaghetti monster
://> Become insane and become one with nature, followed by world destroying spaghetti monster
://> Blame Pinkie Pie and the world shall remain the way it was.

My friend also wanted to test the viability of a cross-species reproduction spell she had created some time ago.”
“And… what exactly was the species in question?” she asked, trepidation plain in her voice.
“Dragon,”

"Hey I didn't die that time-"
*Splat*
Jormungandr's body flopped backwards onto Yellow, squishing him instantly.

What's the best way to talk my way out of this?
...........................TUMBLEWEED!

lasting hostile aliens with a pegasus…unicorn…or whatever she was called by his side was not what his typical day was usually like.
Well, it was Tuesday.

Trust your aunt Pinkie Pie."
"I'm a year older than you. We all are."

‘or else.’
A few agonizing moments passed before he finally spoke again. “Are you ticklish?”

Suffice to say that, in accordance to Finagle’s Law, each individual found themselves waking up to the opportunity to examine another’s nether regions in extreme detail.
Of course in the universe’s continuing adherence to Finagle’s Law it was just then that Damien decided to enter the library.

he rules of Hoof, claw, cupcake:
Hoof (sticking a hoof out).
Claw (wiggling the extended hoof).
Cupcake (producing a cupcake. Don't ask).

"This could be the end."
In place of those five words, I give you these four.
This could be the end? Please. That's too optimistic.
This is the end.

For those of you who have no idea what bits are[...]They’re small, hard gold coins, or coins that are painted gold. All I know is that I can’t shake the feeling that if I collect a hundred of them, I’ll get an extra life.

Yes you were. You were thinking about THAT again.
Shut up brain! I'm not listening! LALALALALALA!
Don't force me to give you those images again.
...
That's better.

A land of magic, a land of friendship…
…And a land with a very loud explosion.

“Er... um, I’m not sure if I should- OH HEY LOOK! A SCENE TRANSITION!”
“Wait wha-”
Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner, a pink pony giggled to herself as she sensed the ripples in the fourth wall.

Dear Princess Luna
If someone is a fan of yours, are they technically a lunatic?
Sincerely, Griffin.

That was when the realization hit me. It was coming back to me now… The time when I became…
...a Waffle.

“This is madness!” he cried.
“…Madness?” Nalyr raised an eyebrow.
“THIS! IS! AN OVERUSED JOKE!”

Comments

[Swedishdude]

XD Epic quotes are epic

"given how dangerous it can be. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! ..... do it at a friend's house....." was the best one though