Preview of the A. K. Yearling Story · 5:59pm Feb 6th, 2014
(Keep in mind, what you'll be reading is from the currently in-progress rough draft, so I'm sure there will be some spelling or grammatical errors I'm sure I've missed. The final product will definitely be in a much more polished state and certainly won't be this rough when fully completed. If you don't mind this being a little rough around the edges, please read ahead and I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think :) )
“A.K., great to hear from you!” said Hot Shot on the other end of the phone. “Great! Fantastic! Glad to hear from you! Thought you’d fallen off the grid again. I know how you like to do that! Love to hear from you, LOVE it! But that’s what I like about you, A.K., you’re a free spirit! That’s what I talkin’ about.
“Well--“ I tried to get a word in, which worked about as well as it usually did whenever I tried to talk to Hot Shot on the phone. I swear, I didn’t know how someone talked that fast without ever taking a breath. All I could do was sit slumped against the glass phone booth, hoping too many ponies didn’t stare at the strange pony with the purple shaw, big nerdy red glasses, and white hat looking like she wanted to strangle somepony over the phone.
“Ah, look at me. How rude, rattling on like that. I’m sure you want to get right to business and I’m just running my mouth. That’s fine, no problem. I’m totally shutting up now.”
“Great, I--“
“So what can I do for you, A.K.? How’s my favorite client? Where are you now, anyway?”
He talked like that all the time. Don’t get me wrong, he was nice enough, if a bit of a phony. And I owed him a lot. He WAS my literary agent after all. The Daring Do books literally wouldn’t exist without him. But seriously, every time he talked, part of me just wanted to punch him. I wonder if all his clients felt like that.
“The Plaza Hotel in Manehatten,” I said.
“Really?! You coming by my neck of the woods? You should have called!”
“I’m calling now, aren’t I?”
“Well, yeah,” said Hot Shot with a laugh. “What brings you down this way? This is a far cry from your neck of the woods. Hehe ... get it? Neck of the woods. You know, like literally the woods. Where you live.”
“I get it.”
“It’s a pun.”
“I GOT it, alright?! It’s just ... I needed a change of scenery is all.”
That part was true, at least. I did need a change of scenery. I may have omitted the part where it was to lay low in case that lowlife Caballeron and his goons were still skulking around my house, but hey, minor details.
“Well, hey, that’s great! I’m glad to have you so close by,” said Hot Shot. “Maybe I’ll pay you a visit! So rare I get the chance!”
Great, I basically traded one annoyance for another by coming to the city. Wonderful.
“Plus being in the city will be a nice change for you,” said Hot Shot. “Maybe help with that whole reclusive writer attitude you got going on.”
“Nice of you to flatter me,” I deadpanned.
“Hey hey, I mean it all as terms of endearment, A.K. You know that!
I’m calling about the letter you sent. What is this about my contract?”
“Ah, right right,” he said, sounding as if the steam had been taken out of his engine a bit. “Well, your publisher was just expressing some concern about the last requirement of your contract at the end of next month. Don’t worry, I got them off your back. Buncha bloodsucking vampires is what they are.”
“What last requirement?”
“You remember, A.K. The contract was for six books on Daring Do and one book of your choice.”
“Yeah, so?!” I said. “I submitted a book for that a while ago. You know, ‘A Guide to Forgotten Relics.’ You said it was great.”
“It was! You ain’t gotta tell me, A.K. But these guys don’t think it’s suitable. Think it’s a bit dry.”
“Dry?! What is that supposed to me?!” I was literally screaming now. A few ponies walking down the crowded streets glanced over in my direction as I yelled in the phone book, but now I was too insulted to give a damn.
“It’s just a bit too ... informative for their tastes. They’re publishers! They want a guaranteed hit. They want something ... vibrant and alive. Something fantastical, like Daring Do. And this they felt was a little too ... real life.”
I blinked.
“You have no idea how ironic that is,” I said.
“What was that, A.K.? You broke up a bit.”
“Nothing. Well ... so what? They just want something different then? I don’t think I can get another Daring Do out in just two months.”
“Well, no, they don’t want another Daring Do ...
“What do you mean they don’t want another Daring Do book?! What’s wrong with that?
“Nothing, A.K., it’s just... you gotta see this from their perspective. They already got enough sales from ponies who love adventures, they got that tied up. Thanks entirely to you, I might add. Buuuuuut, considering the weight your name has behind it, they were thinking they could push other genres as well.”
“Like what?”
“Anything! Mystery, romance, science fiction, vampire stuff, that’s what’s happening with the kids. There’s nothing wrong with Daring Do, they just want to broaden their horizons a little bit. And yours too. They just want something new.”
I froze. Something new ... what else was there I could write? All I’ve ever written was stuff about myself and archaeology. What else was there?
“You still there, A.K?” said Hot Shot, concerned.
“I just--“
“Ah, I get it. You’re worried. Well don’t be! I’m sure somepony as imaginative as you can think of something.”
I sighed. “I’m not quite as imaginative as everypony seems to think I am.”
“Oh, don’t be modest, A.K.”
“I’m not being modest, I--“
“Okay, okay, tell you what, A.K. You just kind of relax, try not to let this stress you out, write what you can. Tomorrow I’ll come right over there and we’ll sort this whole mess out.”
I rolled my eyes. “With all due respect, Hot Shot, I do my best work when I’m left alone.”
Without missing a beat, he said, “Of course! I hear you loud and clear. I’ll come over there and make sure everypony else leaves you completely alone.”
“That’s not what I meant--“
“Oh yeah! Speaking of that, there is something I wanted to talk to you about,” said Hot Shot. “Some biographer or something showed up here asking about you and--“
My blood ran cold. “Wait, who was asking about me? What did they look like?!”
“Well--“ There were hoofsteps on the other end of the phone. “Ah crud. Sorry, another client just walked in. I’ll be over there tomorrow, we’ll talk then.”
“No, Hot Shot, tell me--“
“Later, A.K. Love ya!” Then nothing but the dial tone.
I stood still for a moment before I yelled and slammed the phone against the receiver, nearly shattering it.
“HOT SHOT, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU FREAKING IDIOT!” I shouted as loud as I could, kicking the receiver hard enough to hear the jingle of change inside it.
It was around this time I heard a knock on the door of the phone booth. Standing outside was a cream colored unicorn with white and purple streaks in her mane. She gave a wide awkward smile.
“Um ... hi ... um ... were you done with the phone?” said the unicorn.
I felt my face turn cherry red. I pulled my hat down over my face and calmly walked out of the phone booth.
“It’s all yours,” I muttered, or at least I think I did. Can’t believe I made such a fool of myself. So much for keeping a low profile.
The unicorn didn’t go in right away. “Um ... not that it’s any of my business, but are you alright?”
“Yes. Fine.”
“Cause there’s a huge dent in that phone now--“
“I said I’m fine!” I shouted before just walking away. I think I heard the unicorn call after me, but I couldn’t make out what she said. I ran as fast as I could down the sidewalk, back toward the hotel.
Daring Do: feared adventurer and famed archeologist, running away from an awkward social situation like a little filly. Good goddess, I hoped whoever WAS asking Hot Shot about me found me and killed me quick to save me some of the embarrassment.
There was no telling who could have been asking about me to my agent. Caballeron, one of his stooges, cultists, demonic thralls, changelings, ghosts (yeah, ghosts exist, long story), slavers, thieves ...
I’ve rubbed one or two ponies the wrong way, basically.
Then again, it could be nothing. I had no way of knowing. Or if Hot Shot even told them anything.
And that’s not even counting the other pressing issue, trying to write something, ANYTHING, that isn’t a Daring Do story. I had never tried to do anything like that before.
Oh well, I thought. Maybe I’ll give a shot anyway. Clear my head a little. I mean, I wrote all those other books without even knowing I had it in me. Maybe this will really end up being a cakewalk too.
How hard could it be?
Well, I'm interested. Let's see what excitement awaits Daring Do and Twilight's mom.