Well damn it...

Okay, I had a total Mystery Science Theater idea for a story and according to the rules I can't post it. Seriously I can't post it because it involves a lot of copy and pasting. So, the way I figured around it was to post it here in my blog. I'm also going to go ahead and put it up over at Fanfiction.net, but I wanted to give everyone a chance to read it here as well.

So, here we go.

Mystery Pony Theater 2000 (okay 2014, but 2000 sounds better)
Cupcakes

(Rarity’s house – entertainment room)

Scootaloo, Sweetie Bell, and Apple Bloom smile as they gather around Rarity’s new Projector. The magical device has the ability to turn any work of fiction into moving animation. It also allows the watchers of the film to hear the voices of the characters, if they have an idea of what they sound like, when they watch.

“This is such a good idea Scootaloo!” Sweetie Bell exclaimed.

“Yeah, we uns can watch these stories and get our cutie marks!” Apple Bloom excitedly chimed in.

“I know right, and I thought that I would start us with this story I found. I haven’t really read it yet, but the name is cupcakes, and we like cupcakes, plus the author’s name is Sergeant Sprinkles. I mean how much better of a name for a story about cupcakes can you get than Sergeant Sprinkles?!” Scootaloo excitedly said.

“I kinda thought you would wanna watch something ‘bout Rainbow Dash,” Apple Bloom said.

“I did, but Twilight was busy, and this was just lying on a table, so I borrowed it,” Scootaloo replied.

She placed the story under the projector and it began to glow with a golden aura.

“Okay, here we go!” she shouted.

“Girls really! I have a dozen dresses to make, so please quiet down,” Rarity said from the other room.

“Okay, sorry sis,” Sweetie Bell called back.

The wall began to glow as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie pie appeared on it.

“Hey, there’s Rainbow!” Scootaloo excitedly whispered.

They turned their attention back to the screen.

Pinkie had asked Dash to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. She didn't say why or what they'd be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying. But, Dash's conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie's feelings; after all, she said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. She considered it and thought "why not." What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull off on folks. They'd so much fun the last time. Dash kicked it into overdrive, mostly to make for lost time, and sped to her appointment.
When she walked into the store, she was immediately greeted with her host bouncing in excitement.

"Yay, you're here, you're here. I've been waiting allll day." Said the jumping pony.

(with the crusaders)

“It’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. I guess that Sergent Sprinkles knows what she’s like huh?” Scootaloo asked.

“Shhh,” Apple Bloom said.

(Back on the screen)

Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She always appreciated Pinkie's friendly, outgoing way of life, but her overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. Dash was polite, however. If Pinkie was got this worked up, then it must good; whatever it was.

"So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I've got everything all ready." The pink one said.

Dash psyched herself up. " You betcha, Pinkie. You what do ya got planned? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about. Or maybe you got some stunts you think I should try? Or maybe…"

"MAKING CUPCAKES!" Pinkie happily announced.

"Baking"? Dash was disappointed. "Pinkie, you know I'm not good baking. Remember the last time?"

"Oh that's not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work." Pinkie explained.
Dash thought for about it for a second and replied, "Well, alright, I guess that's ok. What exactly do need me to do"?

"That's the spirit. Here you go." Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.

Dash was puzzled "I thought I was helping you bake."

"You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.

"So, is this like taste testing or something?"

"Sorta" Pinkie said.

Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad.

"Ok, now what?" Dash asked.

"Now," Pinkie informed "You take a nap."

Upon hearing that, Dash felt lightheaded. Her world spun and ,seconds later, she dropped to the floor.

(back with the Crusaders)

“Okay, what in the hay just happened?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I don’t know but I don’t like it,” Sweetie Bell replied.

“RAINBOW DASH RUN!!!! RUN GET OUT OF THERE!!!!” Scootaloo shouted.

“Girls, if you’re going to keep on I’m going to have to shu… What is this?” Rarity asked as she walked in and saw the grizzly scene unfolding on the screen.

“Oh my dear Celestia…” she said her eyes bulging.

(on the screen)

"Well" Pinkie said, putting the skull down" that's enough reminiscing, it's time to begin." She picked up a scalpel and walked over to Dash's right flank. Without any flair, she placed the blade an inch above her cutie mark and started a circular cut around it. Her lungs working overtime, Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away. But the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed the curved skinning knife from the tray. She worked it under the skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground her teeth as she tearfully watched as her flesh came off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and completed the other flank. Once she was done, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms. Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned.
Placing the skin down, Pinkie selected the large butcher knife and walked behind Rainbow Dash.

"Hope you don't mind, I think I'm gonna wing it now. " Pinkie laughed. She grabbed the left one and played with it for a second. Then, stretching the wing out, she brought the blade down at the base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie Pies aim. She tried to hit the mark again but missed wide and put a huge slice in Rainbow's back.

"Dash, you gotta stay still or I'll keep missing."

She took another whack and hit the target. She swung again and again, blood spraying into the air, but realized she wasn't getting anywhere. The blade just wasn't going through the bone.

"Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else." She stated as she tossed the knife over her shoulder; the blade embedding itself in the table.

The crying Rainbow Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.

"Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn't hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife. This is a saw. I don't get it."

(With the crusaders)

“No! No! No! NOOOOO!” Scootaloo said as she shut off the projector.

“What was that?!” Rarity exclaimed.

“It was a story over cupcakes… We just wanted to try out the projector!” Sweetie Bell cried.

“Well, this story is going in the trash,” Rarity said as the small book lifted and floated over to the trash and landed in it.

“If you girls want maybe you can watch an educational story I found this morning. It’s about the rainbow factory in Cloudsdale, and it was written by a pony named Auroradawn. Hmmm… That’s an interesting name,” Rarity said.

“I don’t think I ever wanna watch ‘nother story again!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“But this might be the way we get our cutie marks,” Sweetie Bell said.

“Well, not an educational video, but maybe something better than that,” Scootaloo said pointing to the trash where Cupcakes ended up.

“Rarity, did you read that story?” Sweetie Bell asked.

“No,” she answered.

“We don’t wanna watch anything else that we don’t know nothin’ ‘bout,” Apple Bloom said.

(AN: Ah, the first story of the Mystery Pony Theater 2000. So, yeah, the choice to use Sgt. Sprinkles Cupcakes was pretty easy. It was the story that introduced me to the fandom. That said, I am open to request for other stories to have the Crusaders watch. Also, to Sgt. Sprinkles, thanks for writing the story. Thanks for my introduction, and for doing some serious damage to my childhood memories. After all I had an older sibling who watched the Generation 1 ponies years ago, and I got to watch it with them. That story basically mutilated my childhood, but in a fun way.
So again to Sgt. Sprinkles,
Thanks,
LF)

There it is. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story that could have been. When I get it up... Okay, that didn't come out right, anyway, when it's up (not that!) over at FF.net I'll drop the link here. That said, please, continue to read the stuff here as well. There are a lot of great stories, and everyone seems exceptionally nice.

Good days my friends.

LF