Jan
17th
2014
first chapter is done! now get the heck over here! if its okay with you of course. · 12:32pm Jan 17th, 2014
anyone that wanted to help, you get over to the chapter right now! i-if its okay with you of course, do it at what ever time you like ^^
i'll give you a link but you have to ask, i'm not pasting it on the blog because some asshole might change it into a porno and i'm not risking that for a second! so, would you kindly come over and take a wee look?
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ezio dementay · 300 views
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A link is necessary, so PM it to me. K?
1727475 well of course a link is nessary, but if i put it on here, i would be scared some perv might come along and turn it into some weird porn x///3
I read the story so far. It's ok... but it needs editing. Your style of over-long sentences won't work quite well, if you are trying to publish it. Should I edit it, or anything in particular?
Ignoring the editing part, the story itself is intriguing, going from reality to fantasy swiftly. Good call on using an omniscient narrator, too.
1728661 hehe ^^ well thank you for the narrator part =3
i plan to publish as a book, or just put it on audible or what ever x///3
but yeah, if you see any parts you feel you could edit for the better, then go right ahead, you will be give credit in the story, with like some credits or what ever at the end.
1728995 Alright, I edited the story! I broke down some of your run-on sentences, and capitalized what was necessary. The whole thing is noticeably different than it was before, so I hope it doesn't deter you.
1729984 ahh thank you kindly ^^
i'll tell you when chapter two is all ready for your editiness x//3