Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been a ride · 4:28am Jan 3rd, 2014
Hey, guys.
It's me.
This has to be my record for longest bout of radio silence, with no stories, blog posts, or even comments. The reason for this is kind of disheartening: the fire that kept me going during the Melodious Desideratum days has been reduced to mere cinders. I no longer have a real passion to write, and I thought I would let you all know before I excuse myself to an indefinite hiatus.
This isn't to say that I'll be gone forever. Someday, if my interest in writing ponyfic is rekindled, I will jump back in headfirst. But for now, I have other obligations that keep me from finding solace in this world of fan fiction, in terms of education, career, family, and a certain member of the female gender.
Ideally, I'd like to finish Sing Like You Can't Be Heard and The Kiss in His Eyes before going, but that frankly isn't a possibility at this point. See, in the past, I came to fan fiction as a stress reliever, somewhere where I could simply express myself in the form of written word . . . now, it is more of a stress causer, since I've painted myself into several corners that I've had to scrap entire chapters over. I'm ashamed to say that my discouragement is part of the reason that I haven't been writing.
I may be excusing myself from the writing community for a while, but that isn't to say that I'm leaving the brony community at large. I still love the show and everything that's come out of it, and I'm adoring Season 4 to death (this whole season seems to be a vast effort to get me to like Rainbow Dash . . . it's working) and I look forward to seeing where it goes.
I'll still try to read and comment whenever I can--I don't want to drop off the face of the planet like I've done before--but in terms of content, I have no content. That isn't stopping you from pumping out your own, though.
On a more serious note, I've been struggling with depression lately. Nothing clinical, but I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of simultaneous superiority and inferiority complexes, neither of which are easier to deal with than the other. As I mentioned, ponyfic was a stress reliever, and now it's not. I'm not asking for sympathy here, but I thought I'd put it down in writing, just to lighten my own load.
I love this site. I love it's people. Writing Melodious Desideratum has helped me progress as a person, and has made me several good friends. This has been a good year and a half of my life.
Now, before I get too sentimental . . . ladies and gentlemen, for the moment, I would like to bid you all a very fond farewell.
~ Desi
Fare thee well! You can always come back.
It's been a pleasure reading the stories you have to tell, along with, I trust, all of your followers also. RL problems should always take priority over internet ones, and we will always respect your decision.
If you're having problems with your depression, you can always PM me about it (got plenty of experience in that), and there's always a group here that, unlike what the name suggests, helps our fellow community members when they're feeling down (linky linky).
Hopefully, everything will straighten out so you can come back to us writer bronies
I wish you luck in your future ventures and exploits.
Well, try reading pony fic. That might help relieve some stress as well.
If not, good luck on your travels. Hopefully you can find that ultimate life you've always wanted.
Thanks for all the fish.
i.imgur.com/IzcUVP9.jpg
I'm going to miss you. Feel free to come back anytime.
I know this is late, but sorry to see you go.
But one thing I want to say, as weird as it may sound, but thank you for writing this. This blog post. Specifically, this part:
I've had this feeling that's been keeping me from writing very often, but I couldn't get a handle on how to describe it. You just put it in words here. Thank you so much for that.
So me and a bunch of others can understand your departure. Good luck, and I hope you feel better one day.
Well, if you're still stuck in the depression you had 17 weeks ago, then I hope that you can find a way to overcome it. Whether you ever go back to writing for this site is obviously up to you, but whatever it is you are up to now, I hope it's something you're enjoying.