On nasty stories · 6:52am Dec 29th, 2013
So earlier this evening, I was struck by what might be called a burst of inspiration, or what might be called "fuelled by spite". Regardless of which it was, the result was a 1200 word long story entitled "Abandoned Sanctuary". It is a nasty little story which doesn't really have any socially redeeming value. Fluttershy has returned to Sweet Apple Acres a week after the events of "Bats!" in order to check in on her new animal friends, only to find they have disappeared from their sanctuary. Fluttershy goes to find Applejack, who tells her that the bats left their sanctuary and started in on the rest of the orchard again, and that Granny Smith got rid of them. It goes downhill from there.
The story doesn't really have any socially redeeming value. It doesn't really have much of a point. It tells a story, but I'm not sure that it is really a story worthy of being told. It is just a sort of "reality ensues" kind of story, and not in a very pleasant way at all.
Do you think there are stories that shouldn't be told because they are pointlessly dark and unpleasant, with no real redeeming value? Do you think a "reality ensues" kind of story told with something as cute and fluffy as ponies is a terrible misuse of them? Do you think such things are worth reading? Are worth writing?
And if you read the story, what did you think of it? Do you think it is the sort of thing which should exist, or do you think it is just pointlessly nasty?
Can't say that a "reality ensues" story would be the kind of thing someone is looking for when they watch a show like MLP. A show very far from reality where good endings and meaningful stories are plentiful. (Unless their they happen to be looking for a story that flips that aspect of MLP on it's head.)
It's not my place to really say if this particular story is worth reading either because the intended emotional response is of one that I don't really enjoy: gloomy sadness. (I think... I only read the last few lines to get an idea of what the story was about.)
That's not to say that no one enjoys a sad story. If someone wants something that makes them feel those emotions then good on them. It's the same for someone who reads romance for a vicarious romantic experience. Story promises sad -> they get sad -> sad appetite sated.
These stories that are designed to fill some sort of emotional desire. Stories I like to call "emotional pornography" usually end up being pretty lackluster and ephemeral. If I had a good reputation for writing I wouldn't publish these kinds of works (under my name) for that exact reason.
Keep in mind, any story is worth writing purely for the sake of practice and evoking ideas.
A really good story though, should have some redeeming quality.
SHOULDN'T be told? No.
Do I think it's a waste of time? Sure. But that's not my call :P
Months ago I got very angry about a story on this site called Not Now, Big Brother. The reason why is because it depicts Shining Armor sexually molesting Twilight Sparkle. The reason I got pissed off at this story is because it put those particular characters in those roles, doing its best to ruin them. I actually would have defended that story if it didn't involve those characters (or ponies at all, really) since it captures the gut-wrenching experience of child molestation very well. Any chance I had of giving the authors the benefit of the doubt was wasted when one acted like an asshole in the comments section while the other wrote another story where Twilight rapes Shining, except that it lies and tries to pretend it's not rape because it wants us to enjoy it.
Your story cannot possibly be that wretched. And it wasn't. It made no impact on me, but there are too many of those sort of stories on Fimfiction to get up in arms about. So I can't say that your story shouldn't have been made. I would have said that if the poison had killed Fluttershy, because that would imply that she's too stupid to live, which would take your dissatisfaction with the episode way too far. But for something you dashed off quickly it was decent.
Do I think that all stories should be harmless E-rated slice-of-life kid stories? Do I think that stories should lack conflict and drama, just because they're based on a cartoon?
No, that would be just
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That's not really the question, though.
Goodness knows I have plenty of favorites which aren't E for everyone. Heck, I have stories which aren't.
The point is not really whether or not stories which are intended for older audiences are okay to tell with ponies - I think that's been fairly well established.
I'm talking about a particular kind of story; I used the word "nasty" for a reason. These are unpleasant sorts of stories, stories with no real redeeming value. They aren't like The Writing On The Wall or Drinking Alone, Except With Two or even A Lot to Think About; each of them have their own meaning to them, and A Lot To Think About is about Celestia's sorrow over not trusting Twilight. They have some meaning behind them, and while they may be unpleasant, on the other hand, they're about something. Even The Cough is fundamentally about the humanity (or inhumanity) of the ponies involved.
What does this story say? I suppose it says that reality isn't so simple - sometimes, everyone doesn't win. Sometimes, despite your best intentions, bad things happen.
I dunno. It isn't a nice story. I called it a nasty story for a reason. Perhaps it has more purpose than I really ascribed to it at first - it does tell a story, after all, and that story IS saying something, even if it isn't something nice at all. "Bad things happen" is a description of most interesting stories. But I'm not sure if it is an interesting story, so much as it is just a dark one for the purpose of being dark. Sure, it isn't grimdark - it isn't a horror story by any means, and no one dies or even is seriously injured (Well, apart from the bats, but no one cares about them other than Fluttershy).
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The idea of actually killing Fluttershy never entered my mind. I suppose one could view it as just an aspect of reality ensues; poisoning animals is a nasty solution, and has unintended consequences of its own. The point wasn't to "take it out" on Fluttershy, really; the story is very harsh to her, but it isn't really nice to Applejack, either, who knows she hurt her friend, and by the end is worried about hurting her physically as well. The solution caused problems of its own.
I dunno, many hours later, the story isn't looking nearly as unpleasant as I thought at first blush. It still isn't a nice story, but it isn't really anything all that bad - it warrants a Teen rating, which is hardly shocking, even if the story's point IS to shock the reader. It is something like a joke, except the punchline is dead bats.
I'm still not sure if it is worth actually posting to the site, though. Maybe I'll think about it more when I wake up. *shrugs*
I think 'reality' stories are fine to post. There are a lot of stories in the world (let alone Fimfiction) where there is a lesson learned/growth of character towards a better path/good wins (unless it's just my poor sampling of stories since I usually don't read the 'darker' stuff...). But there are times when readers need to remember that sometimes, the solution doesn't work and something worse had to happen.
This is actually what I had felt when I watched the episode. Fluttershy couldn't even talk with the bats all that much, how are they going to be convinced to stay in the 'sanctuary'? And population growth? What about the loss of farm land for the Apples, who were barely making it by with the land they had at the time?
A story that goes back and says what could have really very much happened isn't a waste of space and should be an option for readers to find that life (even in MLP) isn't always so easy or sweet (I mean, according to Season 1, Ticket Master, they have taxes (a pony offered to do Twilight's taxes in return for the ticket). Nothing's easy).
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I also have a story that I haven't published, even though I probably could. In my case, it's because I'm not satisfied with it in it's current state, don't know how to make it work, and have other writing priorities now. Also, the episode makes this story a bit redundant in retrospect.
Honestly, I think it's a wonderful story. Certainly a more real approach to what is done with pests. As long as it is not made a habit of, I think a pointlessly dark story can be a welcome relief to the Sugarbowl Utopia that is Equestria.
totally not saying that because my own story hinges on impending war. nooooopeeWhy not both?
I didn't read the story, mostly because I disagree with the idea that a game warden's expertise should be dismissed out of hand due to the weakness of her singing voice. So to me, I think the nastiness would have been cruel to no particular end; ergo, there is no reason to believe I would enjoy, in any sense of the term, that particular story.
But that's just me. Someone else, who sides with AJ's goals (if not actions) might find that kind of story somewhat just. You as the writer cannot control the reader's reaction, only guide it.
Should it exist? Why not? Should you actually publish it? Well, that's another question isn't it? I guess I would reference bookplayer and follow up with: why do you publish stories? Would publishing this story further those goals?
The way I see it, if you're writing fanfiction, your stories should still "feel" like watching the show. Though what I mean by that is not that the events of every story should be nothing more than rehash of what's already happened on the show. I do not mean that you should limit yourself to only things that could absolutely happen on the show.
See, if I said that it was impossible to write a story in which Fluttershy was a mass murderer, everyone would yell at me, call me an idiot, and tell me that a "good" writer could easily do it. And I feel that's the same way that you write a story that's anything other than a straight up Comedy. Figuring out how to do this means the difference between writing a Dark/Adventure story that bronies actually read and one that feels like original fiction with Pony names pasted onto it. I feel that anyone who can't get this right should not be writing fanfiction for the same reasons why someone who can't seem to write the mane six in-character should also not be writing fanfiction.
By what I've gathered, a story is a good one if the reader feels enriched upon progressing through and/or ending it: the story leaves him a clear message or just (specific) random thoughts to ponder on, or it has taught him something new, or it has just plain made his day brighter.
With such a view, I would call your story mostly pointless in its delivery: the "bad stuff happens" is too weak a message to convey when unaided, and the '"reality ensues" kind of story' isn't what I'd really call a story, from my PoV: it'd be like calling a camera following the actions of a movie protagonist all-day-all-night-long an actual movie. Like this would lack the content cut and a proper editing, a story needs to put a trim on the events to focus on the themes the author wants to convey, and thus, focus on.
A story, or a movie, without any focus becomes just unfiltered daily life, and regardless of any such daily life, it leaves the reader with nothing in particular to focus on (much like the color white contains all colors yet reminds you of none of them). Ergo, it leaves him uninterested.
Back on your fic, a quick way of rescuing a fic is delivering its message at the end, ie. giving it a 'punch'.
In the case Flutters died, it could have been showing how AJ would deal with the regret; if FS lived, another might have been AJ bucking down the poisoned trees in tears, scattering hapazardly the apples on the ground, maybe swearing how she would never pull dangerous stunts like this one without some more forethought.
Another might have been Fluttershy apologizing to AJ with her last words as she faints in the cart, saying she's sorry that she ever thought that she could ever bring these creatures to reason when she clearly knew less that AJ herself about them.
But that's just, like, my opinion, man.
Funny that you were blogging about this question re. your story about the same time I was blogging about it re. my story. Also, at the same time that I was criticizing the bat sanctuary solution in my Canterlot Gardens interview.
I think the worst kind of story is one that's technically brilliant but thematically wrong because the writer has false beliefs. The bat sanctuary idea bugged me, as I imagine it bugged you, because I knew it wouldn't work, and it was just a cheap device to pretend that all conflicts can be solved by being nice. I read your story as a protest against that.