Stuck in a Rut; the Bad Kind

Every time I open up "new chapter" in one of my stories, or my poetry collection I haven't published yet, I cringe. I'm in a rut right now, and I'm not enjoying it one bit.

Like my dad, I do enjoy having written. Ideas will come to be in sparks, but for some reason they like to fizzle out mid-way. That, and I got something from my mom that...will occasionally sap all desire from me to do things. I'll just say that right now, I'm mixed. I'm exhausted constantly, but can't sleep; and though I'd love to do a thousand things, the moment I try and do them I lose focus and interest. It's PAINFUL to try and do the things, and there's a mental block there. One I can't fix on my own because it's in my genetics, in the circuitry of my brain. It's both been hard-wired in, AND I'm genetically predisposed to these habits when I go mixed or depressed.

I would love to write more Drip Drop, or Yours and Mine, but in both cases I both freeze when I try to write, and...can't decide what to expand on.

--- For Drip Drop, it could go towards her job, her relationship with the Mane Six (or her ability to elude one altogether, except for Dash), or more of the flashback.
--- With Yours and Mine, I'm debating between trying to go into what went on in that conversation, or going to the next day, next week, or years from then. I am extremely torn on this and it bothers me.

I'm honestly just waiting for something to come to me though. Short stories are not my forte. Poetry is, however, which is why I know I'm in a rut. I freeze when I try and write poetry as well, and that's proof at the moment. I sit on the bus for 30 to 40 minutes, then another 30 after that, every day going to work, and the same going back, with nothing to do but think. If my mind knew what to do, it'd tell me. I have a moleskin I've written dialogue and idea in.

Sorry I have such an inability to write. My dad doesn't have what my mom did, and since I have it, a lot of the talents he had are lost to me. My mom was a poet, and my dad keeps placing in the Writer's Digest. 2 years in a row he has told me. He's trying for 3.

It's in my genes to write, and to write poetically. But it's also in my genes to have uncontrollable facial expressions/expressions of emotion, as well as mood swings from hypomanic to mixed to depressed. And America has never helped me out, with costs...I had to go off of the one thing helping me enjoy life.

So yeah. There's all that. If anyone has any comment on what they'd like to see, let me know. Or any ideas, questions. If anyone wants to see how Derpy reacts to something on her way home, perhaps...

I have no one to bounce ideas off of, so I'd appreciate anything offered.

I have a whole idea of how Derpy is. Maybe because I see myself in her position, in a way, sometimes...I may have my own OC, but Derpy is special to me. She was one of the reasons I got into MLP. I adore Derples.