I've been scribbled! · 10:59pm Dec 12th, 2013
Scribbler did a reading of The Corpse Bride. Her reading has already been listened to 3074 times, while the story has been read 2285 times. Hmm.
I'm still not comfortable with that story. I originally had Twilight get angry in the middle section, then rewrote it to have her be calm and logical. EQD rejected it, mostly for a bad reason: Pre-reader Lost in Middle Earth wanted more vivid descriptions throughout, merely for the sake of having vivid descriptions rather than there being any story element that needed to be described better. That would distract from the story and shatter its chilled mood. But LiME also rejected it because Twilight was calm and logical instead of emotional.
I'm undecided on whether the creepiness of Twilight speaking calmly about annihilating what's left of her friend is a good thing or a bad thing. It's creepy instead of exciting. The calmness is also needed so they can drop casual lines in their conversation, like "Rarity, you invite her to visit you at Carousel Boutique again, just like you used to," that show they've abandoned Fluttershy while Discord has been loyal to her. Twilight's logical justification highlights that ironically: "As long as friends care about each other, as long as they have open hearts and work to see each other's point of view, Equestria will survive and flourish." Which is exactly why her actions doom Equestria. Also, I imagine that Fluttershy has been zombie-ish for a long time, so some of her friends might not be angry and worked up about it anymore, just tired and sad.
But... angry ranting Twilight and Rainbow also has its appeal. I'd revise it in line with that & resubmit it to EQD if I didn't think it would just get bounced again for "lack of descriptiveness". (This is one of those cases where I'd like it to go to a different pre-reader instead of back to the same one. Though I think a rejection, at least in those days, involved discussion between multiple pre-readers, so that might not help.)
There should be a way to do both: Show an angry argument followed by Twilight's friendship-is-magic speech. Don't think I'm going to, though.
It would work even better with Twilight as an alicorn, because I could work in that Twilight becoming an alicorn was a key factor in her becoming overconfident and high-handed.
In any case, I'm thrilled to have a Scribbler reading! Scribbler also writes stories, lots of them. I haven't read any yet, but they have good ratings and a wide variety of tags.
In unrelated news, this guy DemPonies made a comment on a blog post of mine. I was going to write a snide response, but looked at his userpage instead, and he wrote an amusing piece on why Twilight Sparkle should never be allowed to be a princess.
I remember when I got my Scribbler reading. I must have squealed so loud.
Wait you just noticed that?
I'm betting that the "lack of descriptiveness" was just an excuse and in reality they just found the story boring. I vaguely remember finding the story boring as well, but I'm not entirely sure.
1600615 Perhaps I should take my own advice and try taking his advice. I think it's wrong, but I could try it.
1600633
At this point it'd probably be best to ask for a review from one of the prereaders. Amacita really helped me with my story (even though it didn't end up getting featured.)
Hmm, personally I prefer the calmer Twilight. I think it worked better. Especially with her realization at the end.
I think EqD is far too askew in its own categories, where allowable fanfiction content is considered.
Having grown exponentially, this hazardously fragile assemblage has elected to elitist endeavors more so than open-minded adjudicators where artistic written outlets are concerned, and has since thrown its hat about to garner whatever trendy acceptance applies opposed to actual learned and experienced juries.
Really, I used to read everything EqD threw up, and nowadays I use their godly decisions as derisive warnings - "yes, I loved the punctuation, but only after fifty of us Skype'd about it and guffawed did we elect this story worthwhile to post."
I mean, I found out about Argembarger because of EqD.
Pretty sure you're heads above a dilapidated comedic wreck, last I checked.
Maybe you should add more Trixie content.
I think EqD is far too askew in its own compost where allowable fanfiction content is considered.
Having grown exponentially, this hazardously fragile Daily assemblage has elected to elitist endeavors more so than open-minded adjudicators where artistic written outlets are concerned. It has recently thrown its hat about to garner whatever trendy acceptance applies, opposed to actual learned and experienced juries - I don't find the roster to my liking.
Really, I used to read everything EqD threw up, and nowadays I use their godly decisions as derisive warnings - "yes, I loved the punctuation, but only after fifty of us Skype'd about it and guffawed did we elect this story worthwhile to post."
I mean, I found out about Argembarger because of EqD. Pretty sure you're heads above a dilapidated comedic wreck, last I checked.
Maybe you should add more Trixie content.
The somber tone and calm Twilight made the story for me, so I really don't get where they were coming from.