Day 3, and I glimpsed her in the Writer's group! · 6:55am Dec 10th, 2013
I saw her! Someone her suggested I look in the writer's group, but she just evaded me by dodging past a troll post and into the unmoderated stroies! And I wasn't going to risk going in there, no way, I need to protect my sanity! So instead I bought another ticket with the sale of one minor extremity and got flown in a crate full of lemurs to some little country I'm sure no one in the world is paying attention to. I mean, who's even heard of Ukraine?
The second I landed though, I was shipped out with the lemurs to a very strange zoo. In fact, it looked a lot like a high-security all female prison. I wanted that extremity back now. So either way, I got dumped in there with a bunch of he-women, all listening to this other smallish blonde and HAWT lady giving them a speech about something called 'pol-et-ticks' which didn't sound at all like 'Alice' in whatever language these people were speaking. So I greeted in my usual way (WHO THE FUCK IS ALICE ALREADY?!) scaring all the inmates into shiving each other while I made off with the blonde lady to have my extremity-less way with her.
But she was smart. instead of giving in to me, she have me a task; destabilize the country! Well, sure, how? I asked. Destabalizing small countries is a part-time hobby of mine, although always in the search for Alice. It's always easier to net your prey in chaos. SO after her long and very in depth explanation of a very precise set of calculated moves to throw the government off balance, she karate-jujitsu-megaman-super saiyan'd me in the back of the head and got me shipped out of the prison as a corpse.
Later I woke up under a sign on the outskirts of a city, The sign conveniently nearby read 'Kiev'. Great, not like anyone even knows where that is! So I ran straight to the town centre where there were a lot of miserable-looking people walking around. Now would be a good time to point out that little-blonde-demigod back there couldn't speak great english, and I was distracted by something shiny. So I shouted out all I could remember her saying; "Join EU! Where the fuck in Alice?"
And the people took up my cry! Well the first part anyway. Right now I'm hiding out in an abandoned bomb shelter with this crazy scientist called Mengele who managed to grow my extremity back! Man, I have been so happy to have a pinkie finger...