• Member Since 26th Feb, 2012
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Peroth E


Avatar is of Ambar, a character from the comic Las Lindas by Challodillo.

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Nov
29th
2013

Ships in a Bottle · 12:07am Nov 29th, 2013

I'm not dead! I'm also not updating anything. Please don't ask.

Please don't.


AppleDash IS a huge ship. It is smartly made and extremely durable, but with a lot of spicy new features added to give it an exciting, straight edge. It can plow through most obstacles unheeded and when it gets aggressive it can bring down an entire army with it. Despite this, the ship can stay out of trouble and keep itself warm and secure, often allowing the crew to patch it up. God forbid you run into it in the middle of its moment of healing, for it will unload the guns without hesitating.

Flutterdash is a ship that only survives because its design was conceived in the adolescent period of the pony ships. It is smart and cool yet down to earth and passive, and wouldn't be as big as it is without its history. Its crew members often come off as dullard and rowdy, ready to pick fights the ship won't survive, but its calmer heads prevail and present the ship accurately. While it's sleek and suave, it is fully capable of hunkering down and keeping itself level-headed and courageous with a little patching and a warm night.

TwiDash is a ship that is dedicated towards future endeavors. Smart, sleek, powerful, and with a lot of bold ideas. It is strong in body and mind, though the two often clash, and prone to freezing due to inner discourse from these brain vs. brawn discussions, but when focused the two sides are capable of conquering just about anything through a mixture of skill, strength, and dedication. It's a ship that is made with a bright, noble set of futures that may ultimately clash, and may seperate the ship entirely, but with proper planning it can fulfill all of its goals in one piece.

Rarijack is my ship of choice. It has a vast, sprawling crew to keep it running, and it's sturdy, extremely stubborn, very well decorated, and highly skilled in multiple fields. It seems contradictory but the rapport and willingness to look past obvious differences is what makes it such a powerful vessel. It is so stubborn, however, it can lock itself in the water until something breaks down and allows the wheels of progress to turn and the crew to better understand how to handle its problems. The obvious differences actually make it a better vessel as it allows it to observe and work through the problems between the common man and the upper class without getting offensive due to the general friendliness, and when given a calm night, it can be rather rowdy as its two sides attempt to one-up the other on friendly, sexual terms. While it takes a bit of caution to bring it all together, the ship has enough support and powerful inner-workings to get it going quickly and for a long, long time.

RariDash is an odd ship. Nobody ever really sees it but the pilots are overenthusiastic and the crew is NEVER on deck. It's a fabulous design and clearly built for speed, but it's so under the radar some people are surprised when it suddenly turns up.

TwiJack is a very basic ship. Extremely well made, tidy, and efficient to a T. There are almost no abnormalities or holes in it, but it's extremely plain and boring. While you can say a lot ABOUT it, it really won't do much unless one of the crew suddenly gets an adventurous twinge.

PinkieDash is the party ship. It's hastily slapped together with only the barest of instruction to keep it afloat, it's decked out to be flashy, appealing, and exciting, and the crew are almost always laughing and partying on the deck, but it has so many holes to be filled, so much structure problem, and almost no long term bearing, so it requires a huge rebuffing in each port to keep afloat. Not to mention the crew below the deck have a headache from the constant trivialities and the refusal for anyone to take anything seriously.

FlutterPie is the weirdest fucking ship ever, hands down. No matter how you look at it, it doesn't seem like it should be floating, but it consistently remains on top of the water. It's quiet and stays beneath notice, but it's well known to sneak itself around and cuddle up next to something bigger. The crew is fluffy and warm and, if you can get past the numerous issues, it's a delightful little vessel to boat on.

ApplePie is one of those ships that, on a first glance, looks like it shouldn't work, but when you get into its innerworkings it comes together. It's extremely well put together and massively stubborn, but with a decorative appeal that makes you stop and reconsider if it's blase or not. It manages to reach the two extremes of workability and come together with a ship that works out because it ultimately balances itSELF.

TwiShy is an odd ship. It stays under the radar but still has a gigantic crew constantly working to keep it afloat. It's efficient and clean, rarely causes any strife and would prefer to keep to itself, but it's very warm and a loving beacon in a chaotic storm, that is capable of defending itself passionately if prompted.

AppleShy is another ship that is very simple, but works. It is comfortable, well-made, well-handled, and very sizable. It blends comfort with survivability in a very efficient manner, but it seems incredibly boring and nobody will give it a try on their first glance.

TwiPie... TwiPie is actually extremely viable if you can get around the pressure leaks and the overheating. Made to factory specifications and decorated with balloons and rainbows, it's a science vessel manned by staff who constantly shed scientific method just to see what would happen. While it is highly vitriolic and its gears grind relentlessly, when it's settled down it can be a very quiet and relaxing ship.

RariTwi is something that just kind of happened. It's the dreams of a young hopeful and a well-funded noble making ship while glorious, is extremely calm and studious. It rarely makes a peep, but due to an odd quirk here or there, the ship is entirely capable of suddenly capsizing and drowning the whole crew thanks to one concentrated freakout.

Rarishy is a little warm and fluffy, though it's a huge ship. It's well-mannered, rarely brushes elbows with others, and at all times it is a fantastic picture of beauty on the horizon. It works out in almost any situation, though it can be very overbearing yet, at the same time, extremely thin-skinned. Diplomacy with them is extremely efficient and pleasurable until somebody says the wrong thing, and they pull out the guns while holding their heads below the sheets.

RariPie... extremely tiny ship, but it's loud as hell. You won't notice it until it wants to be noticed, at which point it becomes the party of a life time. It's a bit shoddy in rough waters and won't last against the other ships, but it is dedicated towards enjoyment of itself and others. You can expect flashy parties decorated to the nines that will attract both common and noble alike, but it's hard for it to survive outside of a shallow depth and requires constant repairing when it hits a rough patch.

Scootabelle is a very rough ship that keeps itself together through enthusiasm and the support of others... or it would be, if it wasn't just the sparkle in some young man's eye as he constructs its design inside of a bottle. It hasn't taken off just yet, but as it comes together its obvious flaws will be easy to repair and it will remain a strong vessel when it hits the seas.

Scootabloom is another strange ship. While it's definitely workable, it seems almost flat and few bother to give it a look. However, on the inside it's extremely well-decorated with a lot of artistic influence put into it, and it's a calm and sturdy enough ship to weather a good storm. Repairs are easy, and the crew rarely clash among themselves in a major way.

Bloombelle is what would happen if a captain decided they wanted to be vikings. It's extremely rough and tumble, with a lot of bumps and bruises but no major holes and no major breaks. It thrives on excitement and adventure and will gladly take on any obstacle prow-first. Don't mistake its over-enthusiasm for foolishness though, it's surprisingly calm in a peaceful moment, and can be extremely crafty and dedicated when in a pickle.

Twilestia is... an odd ship. I'll say that. It's incredibly old, yet still magnificent to behold. It explores a lot of other worldly matters and remains rigid, but it goes through numerous forms, numerous variations, and numerous changes. It requires a lot of instruction to run because the blend of old, alien technology with new, modern technology is difficult to comprehend without step-by-step instructions. However, you can cozy up with it like a mother and child would, which can lead to a lot of discomfort when you try to get intimate. The crew is vast though, and many of them intelligent about the whole thing, with the few, loud fools kept in the engine room below.

TwiLuna... TwiLuna is another strange ship that uses outside technology blended with what we know to create what passes for a sturdy ship. It is frightening to those who don't know better, but extremely well-read and gives an extremely tough-front, but the inside is very sensitive and quirky, and requires a lot of crew participation to keep it calm and level-headed, or else a gigantic demon horse might pop out. However, it is very good to itself, and willing to absorb a lot of punishment before it gives up, and is incredibly daring and bold in the eyes of many other ships, if not outright scandalous.

SilverBelle has a crew but it's really just a canoe in the shallow end of the pool, with the people manning it shouting at the ships taking off around it while it contemplates the day it's big and powerful, even though nobody contributes anything worthwhile to it.

Sweetiedash is what happens when a sleek, sexy ship gets built alongside neon plastic parts and put together with a squeaky hammer. Also the captain is clearly molesting her underage cabin girl.


Conceived in the Skype group I partake in. You can thank Tchernobog for encouraging me to write so many of these.

Report Peroth E · 1,734 views ·
Comments ( 40 )

Appledash ship OP! Please nerf! :rainbowlaugh:

But, what about SweetieLight :v
Or Spike* v:

I just read this whole thing.

Phenomenal re/deconstruction of shipping in its purest meaning.

I laughed. :P

Spacecowboy
Moderator

Uh, okay...

One too many PMs about Growing Pains I take it? Most of us are still quietly waiting, in the shadows, always lurking, always waiting... Always.

1551670 SPIKE DOES NOT DESERVE LOVE.

1551675
Nothing creepy with that.
Nope, nothing at all!:twilightblush:

Also, I'm not one of those waiting people!
NOPE!:pinkiecrazy:

In all seriousness though, this is an enjoyable analysis. Many thanks for Tchernobog!

1551695 Bitch.

You so straight.

If you was the equator.

The Earth would be FLAT.

1551709 You're so straight, you have two identifiable points with no obstructions in between.

Again, I love how AppleDash is the battleship of the group :D

1551715 If a person appeared in an empty plane of existence with his only means of identifying his location being a signpost that said "YOU ARE HERE" right next to him, and they started walking, they would end up right back at where that sign was no matter how much time they had walked.

That's how straight you are.

Wait, there is no Trixie there at all, aww at least Twixie should be. :fluttershysad: Anyway, it was a nice and clever analysis, specially liked Twilestia. Thanks for sharing. :twilightsmile:

*Keeps quietly waiting in the darkness for updates.*

1551734 You're so straight, when you go to poop, people accuse you of planking because of how not-bent you are.

1551714

Yet Rarijack is the sea-tamer of choice! Ye'll not go uncontested on these waters, Blue and Orange!

I don't care what is shipped with what. If it's a first class ship, it's always okay in my books.

1553263
The Rarijack ship sounds suspicious and heavily biased! Coast Guards would be all over that shit. Er, ship.

And yarr! SS AppleDash will take ye on, ye scurvy dog! :rainbowdetermined2::ajbemused:

I think I'm going to check out out the silverbelle. She sounds like a nice ship.
~N

1553353 Of course it's suspicious and heavily biased.

To an idiot!

1553545 To a big dummy!

a very warm and a loving beacon in a chaotic storm, that is capable of defending itself passionately if prompted.

That is really spot on! :yay: :twilightsmile:

This entire post great too, but especially your twishy description!

Also the captain is clearly molesting her underage cabin girl.

Sweetiedash was the best one, that was freaking amazing :twilightsmile:

I loved your descriptions of Rarijack and Twishy. :pinkiehappy:

I see no OctaScratch. That makes me sad. :fluttershysad:

1553756 I've never heard ships described this way before.:twilightsmile:

Old post is old but I've been away from fimfic for a while. And holy shit both that and the comments section here made me LOL. :rainbowlaugh: More!!

Any ship that has Derpy as a component becomes a zeppelin somehow. The specifications vary from shipyard to shipyard, resulting in everything from sleek mini-blimps to Final Fantasy "boat with a gasbag" airships to Hindenberg replicas. Lots and lots of Hindenberg replicas. :derpytongue2:
The end result is a disorganized fleet of bizarre ships that can be ruined by one bad crossbreeze, likely taking out a significant chunk of the countryside with them. And yet their crews don't want to be anywhere else.

(And you can blame TheLastBrunnenG for linking me to the blog.)

This is fantastic.

You forgot PumpkinPound.

OOOH!!! These were wonderful!:ajsmug::pinkiehappy::rainbowwild::raritystarry::twilightsmile::moustache::yay::trollestia::derpytongue2:
Maybe I should try doing some Sunset Shimmer Ships for you (unless you want to give that a go?:duck:)

It was a serious analysis and a comedy at the same time! This is the sort of blog that I wish were a story just so I could give it an upvote. :rainbowlaugh:

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