• Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 22nd, 2020

Kwakerjak


A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree. I also have a Patreon.

More Blog Posts556

  • 232 weeks
    Update (Without excuses this time!)

    Guess what? I'm done writing the next chapter of Manifesto.

    I just need to give my prereaders a day or two to look over it, and then it'll go up.

    Until then, here's Despacito being played on a guzheng.

    8 comments · 647 views
  • 243 weeks
    Hey, everyone.

    I've somehow gotten out of the habit of posting updates. Oops.

    Anyway, you've no doubt noticed that I don't post as often as I once did in the past. This is largely because improvements in my life situation mean I have the wherewithal to engage in hobbies other than writing fanfiction.

    Read More

    5 comments · 742 views
  • 266 weeks
    Update.

    Goodness, it's been a while, hasn't it? You're probably wondering why my pace has slowed down on Manifesto. Well, there are several reasons, but the most relevant one is that I find myself rewriting large swaths of this chapter as I zero in on the best plan for Sunset to take. I'm basically going back and forth between two ideas that can't really be combined into a single one, and for

    Read More

    3 comments · 675 views
  • 278 weeks
    New Story Incoming

    In case you missed my last blog post, I'm taking a break from the adventures of Celestia and Daring Do to write the next Petriculture story. At this point it looks like it'll be fairly short -- about two chapters long -- and I recently finished up the first chapter, which will be posted once my prereaders give it a final once-over.

    4 comments · 569 views
  • 282 weeks
    Update

    Okay, so here's what's going on with me.

    Read More

    4 comments · 785 views
Apr
26th
2012

Wild, Sweet and Cool - Chapter 6 · 1:51am Apr 26th, 2012

Just to let you all know, Chapter 6 might take a little longer than usual, because right now, it looks like it's going to be the longest chapter to date (and the fact that it doesn't follow the "flight log" format of previous chapters doesn't make it go by any quicker).

Still, I wanted to give you a sneak peak, partly to reward those of you who pay attention to my blog posts, and partly to get some early feedback on the way I'm handling the CMC's characterization. Warning: Relatively Minor Spoilers

(The following excerpt is part of a work in progress, and subject to change before posting.)


“I’m just saying that I thought I heard a noise, that’s all.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Look, Sweetie Belle, can’t you give this whole ‘noise’ thing a rest?”

The unicorn filly, however, wasn’t quite ready to let this issue go. “But it sounded really loud—are you guys sure you didn’t hear it?”

“If I did hear it, I prob’ly wasn’t listenin’,” Apple Bloom replied, “on account of I got more important stuff ta be thinkin’ about, like gettin’ our cutie marks. An’ after all the trouble I’ve already been through for this one, ain’t no way we ain’t gonna give it a shot.”

“I still say it doesn’t make any sense,” Sweetie Belle said. “Why did we have to spend so much time gardening with Mr. Greenjeans?”

“How else were we supposed to get our hooves on some weeds?” Scootaloo asked rhetorically. Indeed, after a few short hours with the elderly earth pony, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had amassed a considerable collection of thistles, dandelions, and kudzu.

“I don’t know.... This all just seems so ridiculous.”

“Well, those ponies I heard the idea from seemed to think it was pretty awesome,” the pegasus filly countered. Granted, she hadn’t actually spoken to them, but she was pretty sure that she’d gotten the general idea.

“Besides, I already went through Everfree Forest ta borrow that cauldron from Zecora,” Apple Bloom added. It wasn’t a particularly large one, but the earth pony would have bet her ribbon that it was enough to do the job.

“But why? Couldn’t you have just used a pot from an ordinary kitchen?”

“Those are for cookin’ on a stove,” Apple Bloom said. “This’n is meant ta be put over an open fire.”

“But how does that make it a ‘smoking pot’?”

“Because where there’s fire, there’s smoke, obviously,” Scootaloo replied. “I mean, it’s pretty simple: we smoke the weeds in the pot along with some grass, and then...”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow skeptically. “I’m waiting...”

“...and then something awesome happens, apparently.” At least, Scootaloo was pretty sure that was how it worked. Of course, there were other things the shiftless-looking ponies had talked about over the course of the eavesdropped conversation, but they all sounded too impractical. Roaches, in addition to being icky, were also living creatures, and smoking them with the weeds would just be cruel; getting bags full of dimes or nickels seemed too expensive and time-consuming; and the Crusaders didn’t have access to a grandfather clock (or anything else that went “bong,” for that matter). Thus, they had decided to start with weeds and grass (actually, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had decided, and Sweetie Belle was reluctantly going along to get along for the moment).

With the pot and weeds taken care of, all that was left to do was to gather up some grass before heading back to the clubhouse to smoke them all over a fire pit. Of course, they couldn’t exactly tear up somepony’s lawn without having to answer some really awkward questions, so the solution, naturally, was to head to the large field just outside of Ponyville, where nopony would care about a few patchy spots on the ground. The three fillies had brought along several empty saddlebags, since they’d quite cleverly realized that figuring out how to properly smoke grass would be a trial-and-error process, and they’d need as much of it as they could get.

“Here we are,” Scootaloo declared as they entered the large, grassy expanse. “So, where should we start?”

Apple Bloom slowly scanned the area. “Well, how about—”

“Wait a minute,” Sweetie Belle interrupted. “Did you hear that?”

“More noises?” Scootaloo asked.

“Hang on,” Apple Bloom said. “I think I hear it, too. Kinda sounds like... gruntin’?”

This was enough to convince the pegasus filly to actually have a listen herself. “Yeah... but it isn’t just grunting.... That’s Rainbow Dash’s voice! Come on!” The three fillies galloped off towards the strange sounds.

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Comments ( 9 )
#1 · Apr 26th, 2012 · · ·

That sequence needs to be in the show. It's way too funny not to be!

The puns, they burn! :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

Just kidding that, was hilarious, If a little facehoofy.:twilightsheepish:

Oh, dear Celestia. I'm sorry, I can't picture stoner ponies. Please, take out the references to marijuana, as this breaks my suspension of disbelief. I can handle clopping. I can handle shipping. I can handle Pinkie Pie going insane and baking Rainbow Dash into cupcakes. But marijuana in Equestria is just a little too much.

Ha ha wat.
At least they're not chasing the dragon. Not that Spike couldn't use the exercise.
The drug references will not go over well with some readers but that doesn't change how funny it is.

Yeah, not sure I like drug refernces.

86508 (and to a somewhat lesser extent, 86782)
I'll take your concerns into consideration, but I don't see why you'd have a problem "envisioning" stoner ponies, since they clearly exist.

youcallthatamovie.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic_parodies_jeff_bridges_the_dude_from_the_big_lebowski-300x173.jpg

See?

Furthermore, any drug references in the story would be confined to the excerpt shown here, since it's ultimately not important to the plot. Don't get me wrong, though---if I think of something funnier, I'll change it.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Broke out laughing when I figured it out. Love it.
One tiny thing though. Try making Applebloom say "Ah" instead of "I"
I've seen many other writers do this and I think it makes her accent come across better.

It's nice and all for you to share with us and let us know it'll be a little longer wait, but I think I'll have to decline seeing any part of the story early. That's practically teasing. I'd prefer to read it all in context with the rest of the chapter. Thanks though. Can't wait.

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