• Member Since 8th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2021

Everhopeful


I'm here for you.

More Blog Posts50

  • 462 weeks
    Grimview Rock

    It's not in my nature to be contentious or offensive, even with myself. I'm a coward and a follower. But today I find myself going around and around in circles on life's big picture, trapped in a shortcircuit. In order to escape, I must challenge the fundamental assumptions because the thought has no end, and if I try to concentrate on it I end up back where I started with less time left to

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  • 473 weeks
    The Fall of the Republic

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  • 479 weeks
    Losing My Religion

    Recently I've hit a slight life hurdle, and I'm going to blog about it because I've got nothing better to do at 3am and this song is gorgeous.

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  • 488 weeks
    Crash

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    I'm fine, it could have been much worse (although the car had just been serviced:raritydespair:).

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    Drive safe out there.

    8 comments · 386 views
  • 489 weeks
    Rules

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    3 comments · 372 views
Sep
17th
2013

Blackjack · 6:53pm Sep 17th, 2013

It's now 3:00 am on the morning of my 21st birthday.

Twenty-one used to mean something. Used to mean adulthood. Leaving home. Responsibility. Me? I'm stuck in a degree that's going to take me until I'm 23 at least to finish. 25, if I want to do something with it. I can't leave home because that's the only way I can afford to stay at university, given my utter lack of income. Nothing accomplished with a moderately bright future. Few friends. No serious relationships. No less serious relationships. Never even been kissed. Several thousand dollars in student loans. It's not exactly a dead-end, but it doesn't feel like I'm going anywhere.

Still, there's time to celebrate what I actually have done. And the victories are small, but significant. I've beaten back my depression to completely managable levels. I know more now than I ever have before. I've survived numerous personal disasters, brushes with suicidal impulses and I'm still here even though by my own reckoning I haven't had anything to live for for years. I'm not hooked on alcohol, tobacco or anything more dangerous. I've got my health, for the most part, and at the very, very least a few more years if nothing goes wrong. If all goes well I've probably got 10 - 20 years to make something of myself and find what I'm looking for.

Most of all though I'm free and I have hope. And that is something worth celebrating.

Happy birthday to me~

Report Everhopeful · 383 views ·
Comments ( 7 )

Happy birthday!

A someone coming at you from the ripe old age of 30, I can tell you that you have plenty of time. For everything and anything you want to achieve (Okay, well, you might be a little late on becoming an Olympic gymnast. But most things you want to achieve are still on the table!)

I sounds like you're in a really good place for a 21 year old. You're in college and working towards a degree. You don't plan to live with your parents forever. You have your health under control, you aren't saddled with addictions or children. If you feel like maybe your social life isn't what it could be, that's not the worst thing that ever happened and is totally possible to fix.

That being said, there's nothing wrong with having a social life online if that's how you're happy and comfortable. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know.

I wish I had a present for you, but some kissy FlutterDash will have to do. I hope you know what this means, coming from me. :yay::rainbowkiss:

There's nothing more valuable than the combination of a purpose, a goal, and a healthy dose of optimism. May we guide each other's paths into old age and beyond.

Hey, really? Turns out you're only eight days older than me. Huh.
Happy once-more-around-the-sun-day.

1356086

From you BP, it means the world. Thank you.

1356135

Indeed my friend, to infinity and beyond.

1356376
I think you know exactly what's happening in 8 days time then. Thank you for your good wishes.

Been kissed. The emotional effect is quite warming, but the act itself is overrated :ajbemused:

I guess you are quite far or not at all, depending on whether your studies work out - I studied for a total of 6 years and ended with a stable job... in a completely different field. Still, there were times when I considered myself a failure - if it worked out in the end for me, it will for you :twistnerd:

Finally, good health is a very valuable thing to have, believe me

...

I'm not very good at sappy stuff, so have a happy birthday (or a happy next year, I I'm writing this rather late)

Happy birthday my friend!

1357883

I hear good health will save me quite a bit on insurance premiums. :rainbowwild:

Thanks Brain.

1360047

Thanks Sunder. We should really talk soon.

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