Abandonded fic idea—Ponies Play Blood Bowl · 4:33pm Jul 28th, 2013
The other week I was going through my xbox games, when I saw my old copy of Blood Bowl. Having not played it in about... 4 years? I think, I decided to whip it out and give it a try.
Two days later, I had a 1000 word prologue for a story about Ponies playing Blood Bowl. I don't really feel motivated to finish it, especially with all my other projects, but I am rather proud of what I've done so far and wanted to share it with you.
Also, before I forget—would any of you guys be intersted if I published a scrapbook of abandoned fic ideas? Because I have like 20 on my gdocs alone.
This is an obvious first draft, and still needs some work, but you should get some enjoyment out of it.
Ponies Play Blood Bowl
"Come on, work," Twilight muttered under her breath as she fiddled with a crystal ball, her wings stiff with agitation. A bemused chuckle came from behind the Alicorn, and she spun round, but only saw Celestia's stony face. "Discord, if you've done something, I swear..."
"I haven't done anything," a male voice announced, swiftly followed by a nightmarish mishmash of body parts. "However, I think you'll find that if I do this—" he fiddled with the ball himself, "—it should work."
Suspiciously, Twilight turned to the crystal ball and activated it. Moments later, an image of two bipedal beings, one tall, thin and pale faced, the other huge and bulky, towering over his companion.
"Welcome, Blood Bowl fans, to Altdorf Stadium," the thin one said, his voice coming out of the orb. As one, the three inhabitants of the room leaned closer, whilst Twilight changed a few settings, projecting the image onto a wall and increasing the volume.
"I'm Jim Johnson," he continued.
---
"And I'm Bob Bifford," his ogre companion interjected. The unusual pair were seated in an office behind a desk, upon which stood many knick knacks they had collected during their long careers as Blood Bowl commentators. Before them was another crystal orb, this one showing a grassy pitch surrounded by—and covered with—heaving fans of all possible races.
"Today's match, Bob, is not only the first match of this year's Chaos Cup tournament, but also introduces a new race to our illustrious—and bloodthirsty—sport: the Ponies of Equestria!" Jim the vampire announced.
"Bah," Bob spat. "I don't see why these pansy, pastel ponies are even bothering."
"Whilst I don't share your sentiments, Bob, I do understand them," Jim replied. "Ever since they were discovered in an alternate universe by a group of drunken apprentice mages from the Colleges of Magic five years ago, Ponies have proven themselves to be a peaceful and friendly race—and yet Cabalvison estimates that 70% of the Equestrian population tuned into last year's Chaos Cup final. And now they have entered not one, but two teams—the Lunar Warriors, managed by Equestria's own Princess Luna, and Discord's Hooligans, managed by Lord Discord, a minor Chaos Deamon also from Equestria."
---
"Minor!" Discord shouted. "I'll show them minor!"
"Sit down, Discord," Celestia rebuked, her face still stony. "I still blame you for encouraging this foul sport."
"Oh please, Celly," Discord said, rolling his eyes. "It's no worse than those gladiatorial games you used to have held in your honour a few millennia ago—if anything, it's less violent. So I don't see why you object to this—your sister has the right idea."
“Ponies can change, Discord,” Celestia retorted. “Even you did.”
"Shush, they're speaking," Twilight said, to absorbed in the pre-match commentary to notice she had just told her mentor to be quiet.
---
"Anyway, Bob, today marks the debut of the Lunar Warriors, and a large crowd—both Equestrian and otherwise—has turned out to see how the newcomers perform."
"It should certainly be an interesting match," Bob said. "And look—here come the teams now!"
On the pitch, two long lines of players—one Equine, one Goblin, marched out into the pitch.
"For today's match up, Bob, we have the new Equestrian Lunar Warriors against old favourites, the Lowdown Rats."
"Don't the Lowdown Rats have a completely new lineup this year, Jim?"
"That they do, my friend. The previous team went to a friendly match against the Dwarf Giants a few weeks ago. The match resulted in a draw, and whilst celebrating the entire Goblin team took a wrong turn and found themselves in a Dwarven tavern full of angry fans. Not one goblin made it out alive."
"So we have two untested teams on the pitch today—it could be anyone's game."
"Or anypony's," Jim added.
"What?"
"Anypony—it's, oh never mind."
"Fight, my ponies, in this glorious contest of blood and balls, for the honour of your families, your country and your Princess! Hoorah!"
"What was that?" Bob shouted, leaping up in shock, his bulky frame nearly knocking the desk over.
Jim peered at the crystal ball. "I think it was the manager of the Lunar Warriors—Princess Luna. I—oh my, did she just down a keg of Bugman's Best, then crush it with her head?"
"Jim, I think I'm in love."
---
"Luna will be over the moon to hear that," Discord chuckled. "Get it, over the moon?"
"Shut up, Discord," Twilight and Celestia said at once.
---
"Okay, the captains are now meeting for the traditional handshake—hoof shake? Appendage shake? Anyway, captaining the Low Down Rats is Iki Jibli, who was awarded the position because he's the only one who knows how to tie boot laces."
"A useful skill for a captain," Bob said. "That way, none of your teammates will be able to tie your shoelaces together."
"Didn't Griff Oberwald pull that one on you once?"
"I thought we agreed to never talk about that."
"Back to the teams then, captaining the Luna Warriors is a Pegasus mare called 'Lightning Dust'".
"What kinda name is that?"
"I don't know, Bob, but it says here that she has been dishonourably discharged from not one, not two, but three military organisations for extreme recklessness."
"Sounds like some of my old drinking buddies," Bob said.
"And some of mine," Jim replied with a chuckle, slurping on his Bloodweiser noisily. "There are several other players on both teams to keep an eye out for."
"I'm personally expecting great things from Tooth-Biter, the Lowdown's Troll, as well as Ikle-Bikle, the Goblin Fanatic."
"Assuming the ref—one Khifu Kameri, an old Khamari mummy—doesn't nab him first."
"The fans won't be happy if that happens."
"We can only hope that he's been bribed, but with all the Lowdown Rats’ funds going into a new team, I can't see it happening. Back to the Ponies, other key players to keep an eye out for are Mcintosh "Big Mac" Apple, Starfire the Unicorn, the sisters Flitter and Cloudchaser and their big guy, Manny Roar the Manticore—I have it on good authority that the Lunar Warriors game plan revolves around these players."
"Now that the introductions are out of the way, here's the coin toss," Bob said, settling into his chair.
"The Lunar Warriors have won the toss, and chosen to kick! And there's the whistle!"
"Charge!" Bob leapt up, this time actually knocking the desk over.
"Ahh, don't hit me, don't hit me!"
Aww, did you have to share what you'd already written? Now I'm terribly disappointed that this won't ever be completed.
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Well, I'm not one to say never... But I already have a metric buck ton of stuff on my plate, coupled with a long and sordid history of never finishing any of my projects (with the exception of my degree, and I had to resit a year anyway).
Still, the idea isn't dead, I've just cut it out of my schedual for the moment.
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Oh. Well, good to know it isn't doomed, even if it's on the very, very back burner.
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), but it's there.
Aye, so far back on the back burner that I may retire first (and considering that I'm British, that's saying a lot
Oh please, in the name of all that is sacred and holy, complete this idea! I'm a huge Blood Bowl fan and this just gets my blood pumping.
I finished a story about the same idea https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16493523/