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At the End Commentary: Chapter 27 · 11:34pm Jul 8th, 2013

This entry contains spoilers for its corresponding chapter of At the End. Be warned...

<--Previous Chapter Commentary *-* Next Chapter Commentary -->

This was one of my favorite chapters to write, despite my sluggishness. I can plan ideas and plot chapters quick enough, but the details and editing take me a long time. I average about 1,000 words a day, except for few exceptions. After I get past a few plot points and lines, my brain starts slowing down and it becomes increasingly harder to write. Plus, I am not a morning person. I can only effectively write at night, and by then, I am getting ready for bed. Plus as some of you know, this has been a titanically shitty year for me.

Getting into the chapter, I freely admit I exploited this sound loop. It just put me in the mood better than most forms of music. Music is my muse and what makes me write as much as I can. So yeah, if I write as slow as I do with music, without I would be slower. Some of you may even recognize it as the recommended music played during Past Sins, one of the most famous fanfictions in the fandom. Horror and unease are something I am only reasonably good at. I wanted to give the central villain of the story, Era'doth, an aura of creepiness, even if my conscious mind acknowledges he not only doesn't exist, but isn't even a part of the game.

I also used the chance to boost my timeline a little. The story skips from day three, to day seven. There wasn't much I could have done after the events of chapter 26, so I enabled the annoying and fabled time skip in order to kick myself to a time where something was going on. I didn't want to bore my audience with endless lessons of friendship and culture and language and all that crap. I made it about as interesting as I could, but any further would have absolutely killed the pacing.

My first goal was for him to admire their civilization, but absolutely hate their species. It's why he liked Canterlot's aesthetic, but thought the ponies were disgusting meatbags. It was time that I displayed a little personality for him. He is the villain, after all. He needed some face time and a little personality. I explained more about the chains he was bound in, as well as the purpose of the Void Fog. His bipedal body exists only to blend in better, as a massive Cthuloid body is not only hard to hide, but produces vast amount of corrosive ooze and a d100 penalty to sanity. The chains are a physical and symbolic representation of a prison, one he is desperately trying to break. The Void Fog, an aspect of the game, is, in my story, an abstract representation of his vast perception and capabilities, even if he is not physically there.

This chapter also reveals the central goal of the story: Era'doth wants to use the Elements of Harmony to break his prison and unleash his full power. That alone is a frightening thought, as his sliver of power was enough to reduce an entire room to slag and glass. Everything so far has been an arrogant but carefully laid plan. He sent the Crafter through the portal in chapter 1 as a final test of its effectiveness to bridge worlds. He did so once again in chapter 10 with the creeper, just in case. He created a Wither as extra firepower, even though he hasn't had a need for it yet. He tried to kill Fluttershy to sever her link to the Elements of Harmony, who only narrowly escaped through the machinations of Brimstone.

Instead of going through an indirect route, he wants a direct one: just take the damn things. That's both his strength and weakness. Era'doth has vast powers, but views others as nothing but ants under his boot. It's not a god complex; he rally is a god. He's created and destroyed on a whim. There is plenty of reason for his asshattery.

The beginning is also when he starts displaying his abilities. I knew from the very beginning what I was going to do to make him a threat. The Crafter already has vast powers that any human being can consider deific. How was I supposed to top that? Gaming mods. You have godlike abilities in the game, and no one thinks anything of it. However, mods are cool, and I think I made them horrifying when put in a real world setting. The things he's done in just this chapter are terrible and wondrous.

My first step to make him a monster was to have him move, but not walk. Common Herobrine lore, the guy Era'doth is based after, usually has him glide or "sliding" when you are not looking at him. I had the same thing occur alongside the two clueless guards, who didn't even know he was in front of their face. Rather than murder them in the face to just show the world how evil he is and all of that, I let them live. They're nothing to him. They're like the first row of fighters in Galaga. Easy kills, and but easier to ignore. It wasn't worth to kill them.

And as much as he hates to admit it, Era'doth has a grudging respect for Celestia and Luna. Not only are they the only one who have a reasonable chance of facing him in a fight, they are each at least a thousand years and hold knowledge far beyond their years. They are the only ones he could consider an equal, despite his dislike. That doesn't stop him from stealing their property.

The Elements of Harmony are rather vague items in the show, so I wanted to give than a little more character. He identified them and their usage.

It was a single battery with six points of focus that amplified one magical charge to incalculable strength. The mortals likely did not have any idea the kind of power such a tool was capable of. With it, a coward could become a king. A king could become a god.

It massively amplifies power. Considering what we've seen in the show, it's not an unreasonable assumption. Celestia used the diadem when she was outmatched. The Mane Six have used it twice in my story's timeline (Discord and Ngihtmare Moon). Both are weaker opponents facing far superior foes.

Nevertheless, Era'doth's overconfidence proves to be his undoing. He underestimated their capabilities and was caught. Rather than risk a fight with Celestia prematurely, he escaped to fight another day. It also solved my problem with big bads in fanfictions. Big villains either curb stop the heroes, or are curb stomped themselves. There isn't much middle ground. Era'doth would have broken into the Element vault given enough time, but fell back because he would have to do it during a fight with Celestia.

That's when Celestia prepares for war. You don't take kindly to some random guy breaking into your house and stealing all of your bear, and this would be no different.It's more than just an enemy, it's a violation. Era'doth, even though Celestia doesn't quite know he did it, violated the sanctity of their solitude. It was an open attack on their territory.

Glassing the chamber of the elements was a demonstration of his strength. I needed more than just the appearance of a threat, I needed to show some actual results. What better way than to rewrite the very molecules of the Chamber of the Elements? That form of godlike energy is awesome stuff.

And yes, the title, A Good Mare Goes to War, is a reference to the Dr. Who episode of the same name. Celestia, to be exact. For those who don't know, here it is.

The last scene was just a little spookiness to add insult to injury. After all, Cadance just saw eyes in the dark.He only means well, he's looking out for you, trying to warn you of the dangers you can't see. There certainly are NO physical manifestations of Herobrine that will sneak out of your computer if you leave Minecraft running at night, looming over you as you sleep with his pale eyes inches away from your face, as he tries to shout at you to wake up. Sometimes you wake up with a jolt, and he's gone, and all that lingers is the memory and faint echo of his wordless screaming. Of course it was just a dream. There's no way a morally dubious ghost with a god complex could at any point decide to haunt the children who play my game "for their own good", as there is NO SUCH THING. etc etc

Sweet Dreams.

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Comments ( 16 )

titanically shitty year

Pretty much the best way to say it. One that would work might be "The most fucking fucked up motherfucking year" right?
Fuck sake, even Superman looks like an overused test-dummy next to you after what you've gone through.

Demons run when a good man goes to war, but gods stand and fall to the last.

Can't wait to see that C'thuloid glitch find out the hard way that ponies pack one hell of a kick.:twilightsmile:

That's coming very soon. Also, we find out just how far Brimstone's hateboner for Herobrine goes.

Oh god.

The Crafter needs mods.

He needs so many fucking mods.

That's the difference between the Crafter and Herobrine. One has mods, one doesn't. Even if he did, do you really think it would help?

1197351 Dude you haven't seen some of the mods I have.

I see that you've recently stocked up on toilet paper.


1197431 Just give him this and Herobrine has absolutely no chance.

Or this.

Kenshiro mod? AHAHAHAHAH!

1197451 Last chapter, massive, epic duel between the two.
The Crafter seems defeated, Herobrine standing tall.
"Puny mortal! You thought you could stand against a god?!"
Slowly, the Crafter's mouth opens, a slight rush of air passing across his cracked lips. His attention piqued, the conqueror leans closer.

Again, a second rush of air through ancient vocal chords as he attempts to speak for the first time in millennia. "......dy........d....."

Lips set in a sneer, the god leaned closer. "Come again?"

"....You... are... already.... dead..."

Herobrine's eyes barely had time to widen as his mortal form swelled grotesquely, had no time at all to scream before his body's own energies ripped him apart from the inside out.

Standing tall once more, the Crafter began to slowly walk away, his mission complete. Across the land, a whisper could be heard, as if carried by the wind itself.

"Diggy diggy hole, you undead fuck."

You know what... I may have to create a joke ending now just because of that.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Diggy diggy hole, you undead fuck.

Fucking perfect.

I'm guessing it's somewhere between "Destroy the world just to spite him" and "They should just shut up and kiss already", but I've been wrong before:derpytongue2:

I died...


FROM LAUGHTER! Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaa-

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