Equestria Girls Dolls 2 or Why Toys Matter · 7:05pm Jun 15th, 2013
Some of you may have been following my recent blog posts discussing and analyzing Equestia Girls.
First there was the trailer.
Then I compared Equestria Girls to Monster High and Barbie.
Then the prototypes of the Equestria Girls dolls were leaked.
During my June Rule34 update, I included an in-depth look at the history of Hasbro and Mattel. I also cited recent trends in toys.
After my analysis was posted on Equestria Daily, I made a follow up blog to clarify why we "need" Equestria Girls.
Which brings us to the present. I'll chalk it up as pure coincidence that on the same day I celebrated my second anniversary as a brony and first anniversary of writing fanfiction, photos of the finished Equestria Girls dolls were leaked.
Yikes. Finished is the appropriate word. These dolls really do look hideous. Compare the Equestria Girls dolls to the Ever After High dolls that Mattel is making. 
I think Hasbro may be a little out of practice. It's been 25 years since they last had a successful line of girls dolls.
They're so old, they came packaged with cassette tapes, for crying out loud!
Although, I must admit that Jem's boyfriend Rio is quite possibly the best toy ever made.
I mean... just look at that hair.
After underwhelming toy sales during 2012, Hasbro tightened its belt by cutting 10% of its workforce. Sales of toys for boys are on the decline, while girls dolls are on the rise.
Mattel is in a better position financially, with their stable of popular dolls like Barbie, Monster High and American Girl. Hasbro wants a piece of Mattel's pie; specifically the doll market; which is why we're saddled with Equestria Girls. (Forgive the pun.)
Heck, the Jem dolls from 25 years ago had more polish than the Equestria Girls line. If Hasbro wants to compete in the doll market, couldn't they bring their 'A' game and actually put some effort into their dolls?
Woah! Hold the phone! Is this the same Hasbro we're talking about? This new Jem looks awesome! Why couldn't the Equestria Girls dolls be given that same attention to detail?
As it turns out, this Jem doll was made in 2012 as a Comic Con exclusive collector's doll... with a retail price of $125.
$125?! For that price, she should be anatomically correct; complete with pink pubes!
I can appreciate Hasbro making a more high-end doll for collectors, but why do their standard dolls look so cheap when compared to Mattel?
Some people want nothing to do with Equestria Girls, which is understandable. The detractors of the film hope it fails so the creative team can ditch the overplayed highschool drama and get back to focusing on pony stories.
Other people are a little more optimistic. They hope that the Equestria Girls movie and TV series will be a big hit and have a similar charm to Friendship is Magic.
"Since when have the toys reflected the show?" some have said, "Remember the first few waves of G4 MLP toys? Pink Celestia? I wouldn't worry about the dolls being any indication of the quality of the show itself."
When it comes to the Equestria Girls movie, those who like the concept and those who hate the concept can still agree on one thing: The Equestria Girls dolls suck. But that doesn't matter, right? Who cares if the toys are terrible, as long as the show's good?
To those of you who say that the success of the dolls doesn't matter, let me remind you of a recent show that was cancelled before its prime.
Yes, Sym-Bionic Titan. Brainchild of Samurai Jack and Dexter's Laboratory creator, Genndy Tartakovsky. This criminally-underappreciated series only lasted one season. Why? Because the show "did not have any toys connected to it." The series was cancelled because it "wasn't marketable" enough to make a line of toys.
For those who disparage Equestria Girls because of its setting, let me remind you that Sym-Bionic Titan was also a "highschool drama."
It's a prime example of a highschool setting being used effectively.
The series also featured amazing fight scenes.
And to top it off, one of the main characters, Princess Ilana, was voiced by Tara Strong.
That's right. Tara Strong voices a princess from another world who's forced to blend in with a typical highschool environment. Sound familiar?
Sym-Bionic Titan didn't last because the powers that be weren't interested in the artistic merits of the series. They just wanted something they could market.
Which is a shame, because there aren't enough children's cartoons which combine highschool drama with scifi adventure...
...and tentacle hentai.
Regardless of how good or bad the Equestria Girls movie and television series will be, at the end of the day, it's here to market toys. Shows like Sym-Bionic Titan are becoming increasingly rare. It's not enough to make a quality show. You also need marketability.
Too many people in the toy industry are scared to try something new and different. They'd rather play it safe with brand recognition. That's why Hasbro slaps My Little Pony on their line of girl dolls instead of taking a risk with a new intellectual property.
The Equestria Girls may entertain and have true creative merit, but if it doesn't increase the sale of the dolls, then it will be deemed a failure. At the end of the day, it's the toys that matter.
The dolls are disgusting, but I think I may at least like EG's storyline as long as it doesnt force shipping. I don't even want it to make all the girls lesbians, and I absolutely love the idea of the girls all being gay.
Here's my EQG situation. I want to see it in theaters, with a brony friend no less, but the showtimes fail to be workable for both bronies and children.
Only 3 theaters in the span of two weeks, 5/7 days showing are during the week, the only showtimes range from 9:20 AM to 11 AM, and the only weekend showing isn't until the 29th and 30th.
Wtf, Hasbro?!
1146212 Personally, I might just not see it. Don't know yet.
We need a revolution. A revolution in the name of how toys should be made as and far, and how shows should be made as.
Sym-Bionic Titan? I was wondering what happened to that.
Sym-bionic titan was good because it has balls. Not many kids shows do that nowadays due to these damn overprotective mothers and cowardly executives.
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Thanks for posting this. It didn't change my opinions about EQG being inferior, but I had never head of Sym-Bionic Titan until today. Now I really want to see more of it.
I just realized Ilana looks like a human/female version of H.I.M.
As far as the EqG goes, I don't care as long as it ties itself up and doesn't have a permanent effect on FiM (coughcoughbrad).
Well thats kinda unfair to EqG then. I mean no matter how good the special/show is if the toys are of such low quality they just won´t sell and then its the fault of the show? Geeeeeeez~
My basic response to those dolls is a bit like this, but with slightly more screaming and done in a Glaswegian accent. And I don't have a red tie.
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I'm pretty sure I saw that Applejack doll in Resident Evil 3, but wearing a trench-coat, carrying a rocket launcher and talking about S.T.A.R.S all the time.
1146295Yes, because god forbid we *gasp* offend someone with how violent and uncouth the show is. Now that would just be a damn shame.
I hear ya.
Interesting take, I think you right about the new intellectual thing. Hasbro are playing it safe. Although I've never collected toys released from Hasbro, I do know two other bronies that do. Collecting the toys always kinda weirded me out, I'd rather stay on the darker side of the fandom and write smut,
I bet if a few weeks we start seeing TV spots, advertising the dolls and EQG
All humanoid dolls look absolutely horrifying to me. I do not understand why anyone would by them. Regular humans are bad enough without channeling them through a plastic hellworld of painted, unblinking eyes.
I was going to ask if that Rio doll was carrying a brief case or a lunch box, and then I realized there is no answer to that question that isn't gibbering madness, so let's just pretend this whole thing never happened.
Ok?
Ok.
Horses.
1146512
Is it just me, or does Rio look like the lovechild of Jerry Seinfeld and Katy Perry?
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Dude, I rarely comment on these blogs, but I just gotta say they're always amazing. Very informative and enlightening!
Why does Hasbro crush my soul!!!!
While objectively inferior, what I wonder is:
Are the EqG dolls bad in a way that young girls will actually care about? Or will they be good enough to capture the imaginations of girls who watch the show, despite the "let's see if this works before we put money into it" level of craftsmanship?
I don't know, but I like to leave room for optimism.
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Fair point. I need to remember that the people at Hasbro aren't dummies.
"Never play an ace if a two will do."
If little girls still buy the dolls in their current form, there's no reason to make them any better.
I would like to say that a high school setting can work, as you have said. just look at 90% of anime's out, most of them are in a high school setting. I am planning to see this, but I have to wait until July to get a chance. and then I have to hope my AMC tickets will work. thanks though for all this information, I enjoy seeing other points of views in the community.
Whoa rio! Lol oh Jem brings back memories! My first animation crush was on stormer from the misfits...oh stormer my love....I heard rumour about Jem possibly being redone in the next year or so because of the success of her new dolls...I can only hope.....I feel the way u do about the eq doll line....yes hasbro needs to do this to compete but why not give it their all...same with why we had pink celestia for all this time up until recently....wtf hasbro....you can't even get ur own toyline right! That being said because there is sucha sparse amount of aj and rarity merch ....I may buy the aj and rarity dolls just because those two are my faves and I'm surrounded by too much pp and rd merch lol....:) thanx for the blog posts my friend!
1146203 lol and once again u and I think alike...lol I almost had a heart attack when I saw "twilights boyfriend" or what looked to be some sort of possible budding romance ..I screamed nonononono ...they obviously aren't gonna be lesbians in the show but don't crush my head cannon with shipping twi with a guy! Lol what would the princess think? She needs her faithful student to be a faithful lesbian lol :)
The rainbow dash one has no recembleance to pony rainbow dash herself SINCE WHEN WOULD RAINBOW WEAR A GIRLY DRESS!
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Rainbow Dash always dresses in style.
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>>Bronystories--okay fine
you have proven me wrong
If toys matter so damn much then why can't bronies have a $125 Princess Celestia or a high end collectors toy of Discord? Bronies are more numerous than Hasbro thinks, especially if sales of the comic book are anything to go by, and they're severely crippling themselves by catering to only half of the fandom. The little girls that will buy the dolls probably won't watch the show religiously, nor will the bronies ever buy the dolls because they're so damn ugly.
Not to mention the toys will still sell to SOMEONE rather there's a show tied to it or not. Back in the 80s, Transformers, GI Joe and Jem all had toys BEFORE the cartoons and My Little Pony was no different. So doing it the other way around really is counter productive. And of course boy toys aren't selling as well as they used too. It's all repaints of Transformers and Joes they already have, and collectors know that the stuff nowadays ain't worth shit. Monster High is only selling because of the blatant sexualization and the fact boys buy that stuff too, probably just to take their clothes off or something.
Toys are toys, the cartoons are just a commercial. At least in the 80s stuff like proved you could be MORE than a commercial, but this...
I just... I don't know. It's a lot to spring on us out of nowhere, and how are we going to have a series of this AND ponies at the same time if it's supposed to be the same Twilight? Is she mirror jumping every 30 moons when the portal opens? Does she just stay there and it's non-cannon and therefore even more pointless? Or is this the REAL human Twilight they implied existed, finally coming to their town and discovering friends already waiting for her.
In fact, how the hell does this universe exist anyway? Will the series at least explain that?
Keep in min this is the same marketing strategy that killed Optimus Prime and a bunch of other major characters in the original Transformers movie. And we all know how long THAT lasted.
I just remembered! There was another show trying to ride on the success of ponies! It was about a pet shop... run by a human... voiced by... Rainbow... Dash....
Wonder how THOSE toys are selling
No wonder I loved Sum biotic titan and hats it how it only had one season especially when * SPOILER ALERT* The aneroid thingy person basicly was killed... that posses me off I loved the show and the animation and the story and now the world revolves around money and it kills creative thinking because. You need a bank account to even breath... its choking creative thinking and kills any cultural achievements ... look at the movies we watch today or the music artists ( not lil wayne) they have money because studios SELL them to you with music... I think hollies were on to something when they got high at Woodstock