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Bronystories


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Jun
5th
2013

MLP Rule 34 Update: June 2013 / Ribald Rivalries · 7:19pm Jun 5th, 2013

It's the fifth of the month, so you know what that means. That's right! It's time for another in-depth analysis of clop!

Specifically, I'm talking about Rule 34 statistics. For those of you who have missed the previous entries into this series, I've archived them below.
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013



As of June 5, 2013, here's the state of Rule 34, according to Rule34.paheal.net:

Pokemon still holds the lead with 60,765 images. 1,201 new explicit images were added during May, giving Pokemon a 2% increase in porn from last month.

Touhou is in second place with 39,733 images. 1,207 new explicit images were added during May, giving Touhou a 3.1% increase in porn from last month.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is in third place with 31,010 images. 1,877 new explicit images were added during May, giving My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a 6.4% increase in porn from last month.

DC Comics is in fourth place with 21,293 images. 502 new explicit images were added during May, giving DC Comics a 2.4% increase in porn from last month.

Street Fighter is in fifth place with 16,002 images. 122 new explicit images were added during May, giving Street Fighter a 0.7% increase in porn from last month.

Naruto is in sixth place with 15,903 images. 143 new explicit images were added during May, giving Naruto a 0.9% increase in porn from last month.

Marvel Comics is in seventh place with 15,217 images. 312 new explicit images were added during May, giving Marvel Comics a 2% increase in porn from last month.

Sonic Team is in eighth place with 12,791 images. 255 new explicit images were added during May, giving Sonic Team a 2% increase in porn from last month.

Digimon is in ninth place with 10,716 images. 175 new explicit images were added during May, giving Digimon a 1.6% increase in porn from last month.

Idolm@ster is in tenth place with 10,306 images. 7 new explicit images were added during May, giving Idolm@ster a 0.06% increase in porn from last month.

Pokemon and Touhou had nearly identical numbers in terms of porn production last month. My Little Pony still managed to accumulate more smut than either of the top two slots. Touhou is less than nine thousand porn pics away from being surpassing by My Little Pony. Lesbians may have taken over everything else, but ponies have changed the face of porn forever.

The top four porn producers all saw an increase in production last month, while the bottom six all experienced a decrease. In Idolm@ster's case, the decrease was significant, as they only managed to produce 7 explicit images during May. That's the lowest increase I've seen, but at least Idolm@ster didn't go into negative numbers and dip below 10,000. (I'm looking at you, Digimon.)

My Little Pony's porn total for this month came to 31,010. The thirty-one thousand and tenth rule34 image was of Derpy Hooves removing her panties. It's worth noting that her character wouldn't exist without the fandom. The toys, t-shirts and trading cards weren't created as a result of some focus group or marketing department. That merchandise spawned from the bronies' love for her as a character. Derpy Hooves is a phenomenon of the modern age. She wouldn't have existed without the Internet.

Her popularity can sometimes be too much for her own good. When she was forced into the limelight as a shoutout to bronies, some people were offended by her voice and appearance, so Hasbro eventually censored her.

Overly-cautious PR departments may alter how Derpy Hooves sounds in reruns, but they can never take away that moment when the entire brony community came together to celebrate a rare level of validation, which few fandoms ever get to experience.

Out of the 31,010 explicit images of My Little Pony, exactly 1,010 are of Derpy Hooves. :derpytongue2: Yay!

Before I forget, here's an update on Rule 34 images for the mane six:

Twilight Sparkle :twilightsmile: has 4,575 images. 239 explicit images were added during May, giving her an 5.5% increase from last month.

Rainbow Dash :rainbowdetermined2: has 4,036 images. 203 explicit images were added during May, giving her a 5.3% increase from last month.

Pinkie Pie :pinkiehappy: has 3,510 images. 140 explicit images were added during May, giving her an 4.1% increase from last month.

Fluttershy :yay: has 3,403 images. 184 explicit images were added during May, giving her a 5.7% increase from last month.

Rarity :raritystarry: has 2,892 images. 172 explicit images were added during May, giving her a 6.3% increase from last month.

Applejack :ajsmug: has 2,850 images. 151 explicit images were added during May, giving her a 5.5% increase from last month.

Congratulations to Rainbow Dash, who's garnered more than 4,000 explicit images. When it comes to porn production, you're superextremeawesomeazing!

Rarity managed to retain her spot in fifth place. There's no telling if Applejack will eventually surpass her in terms of porn, but Rarity's not getting bumped from fifth place without a fight.

Special thanks to Infinion, who made these nifty graphs of the data I collected. Since the mane six seem to be divided into three tiers, Infinion added more line charts which allows us to more easily follow the porn production of Twilight and her friends.





Since Equestria Girls premiers in theaters this month, I thought I'd take some time to research what brought us to this point.

In order to understand Equestria Girls, you need to understand the rivalry between Hasbro and Mattel.

In 1923, three brothers, Henry, Hilal, and Herman Hassenfeld, founded Hassenfeld Brothers, in Providence, Rhode Island. The company, which would later come to be known as Hasbro, started out by selling pencil cases and other school supplies. In the 1940s, the company gradually-shifted towards toy manufacturing. Their first big success came in 1952, with the release of Mr. Potato Head.

This Mr. Potato Head pencil case was made when Hasbro was transitioning from school supplies to toys.

Here's one of the earliest Mr. Potato Head commercials.

It's worth noting that Mr. Potato Head was the first toy commercial on television. Before Mr. Potato Head, commercials were exclusively targeted towards adults. Hasbro was the first company to use television as a means of marketing directly to children.

Hasbro turns 90 this year. Since their founding, they've been responsible for some of the most iconic toys and games on the market today.

Which brings us to their rival, Mattel. As hard as it may be to believe, Hasbro is the underdog in this story.

Mattel was founded in 1945 by Harold "Matt" Matson and Elliot Handler. After the release of the Barbie doll in 1959, Mattel revolutionized the toy industry with its talking dolls and toys. Major successes in the 1960s with the talking Chatty Cathy doll in 1960 and See 'N Say toys in 1965 moved Mattel to its position as the number one toymaker in America.

In the mid-1980s, the success of My Little Pony and Transformers helped Hasbro to move past Mattel and become the world's largest toy company. In 1994, Mattel purchased Fisher-Price and retook the top spot in the toy industry, which it still holds as of this writing.

Mattel attempted to buy Hasbro in 1996 for $5.2 billion. Mattel wanted to purchase their main rival in order to create a super company that would dwarf the competition. This offer was quickly withdrawn, after Hasbro made it clear that they had no intention of selling.

Mattel boasts several popular brands which have stood the test of time.

Lauren Faust recently spoke out on Mattel's American Girl doll line.

The article Faust referenced showed how the American Girl brand has changed over the years.

American Girl used to cover controversial topics from American history. The initial focus of the brand was on the historical characters, starting with the original three from 1986—Scandinavian farmsteader Kirsten, Victorian aristocrat Samantha, and World War II patriot Molly—who were soon joined by Felicity, a tomboy from colonial days, and Addie, who bravely escapes from slavery on the eve of the Civil War. Each doll came with their own storybook, in which they had to overcome complex issues like slavery, child labor, the Great Depression or World War II.

American Girl underwent an incremental but noticeable shift after their acquisition by Mattel in 1998. In 2008, the historical dolls that were previously considered core to the brand were "archived," which is a nice way of saying retired. American Girl became focused on more trivial issues of modern day. Instead of the characters contemplating the moral implications of manifest destiny, this new line of American Girl dolls would hold bake sales to help save their school's music program. In an effort to make the dolls more modern and relatable, Mattel removed what made the American Girl toy line unique.


So that brings us to today. Two toy titans slugging it out for our hard-earned dollars. In the one corner, you have Hasbro, with Transformers, Monopoly and My Little Pony. In the other corner, you have Mattel, with Hot Wheels, Monster High and Barbie.

The question is, which company is better poised financially? While Mattel's Barbie and Cars 2 toys have seen a slight decline in sales since last year, some of their other brands are going stronger than ever. The aforementioned American Girl doll line saw an increase in sales of 32% since last year, garnering $100.5 million. Monster High helped boost sales of Mattel's total girls' brand category by 56%. Monster High dolls are the second most popular doll line in Mattel's portfolio, after Barbie.

Mattel appears to be in a stronger position than Hasbro, due to the popularity of Mattel's Barbie, Monster High and American Girl doll lines. Hasbro's strength has always been with action figures like G.I. Joe and Transformers, or board games like Battleship and Monopoly. In fiscal 2012, Hasbro's largest division, its boys segment, saw a decline of 13%, bringing it to $1.6 billion. In contrast, the sales of Hasbro's girls segment rose 7% in 2012, to $792.3 million.

The information from Hasbro and Mattel indicates a long-term trend. Boys are abandoning traditional toys, as evidenced by declining sales of both Mattel and Hasbro’s boys’ products. Boys are now generally more interested in video games. Both companies are trying to adapt to the changing market by making digital-versions of their popular board games.

In contrast to the declining sales of action figures, girls' dolls are on the rise. Considering that Hasbro’s strongest growth segment last year was its girls’ segment, it stands to reason that it would try to pursue a similar strategy to Mattel, by boosting its offerings of dolls and other toys for girls. However, if this is to succeed, Hasbro must find a hit girls’ product line like Mattel’s Barbie or Monster High dolls.

Which brings us to Equestria Girls.

Hasbro would love to take some of the market share away from Barbie, but that doesn't appear to be Equestria Girls' main focus. With their colorful skins, animal ears and huge heads, Equestria Girls seem designed to give the Monster High dolls some stiff competition. (Forgive the pun.)

Monster High is a highschool drama with classic monsters.

In later iterations, the tone of Monster High shifts to some weird X-Men knockoff, where all the monsters exhibit super powers and are persecuted by regular humans, called "Normies."

For years people have complained that fashion dolls, like Barbie, impose impossible standards of beauty on young girls.

I'm concerned that the Monster High dolls are taking body image issues to a new level.

On the plus side, the dolls do offer us new outlets for porn.

I'm calling it now. Less than twenty-four hours after the Equestria Girls dolls are released, people will post pictures of the nude dolls covered in jizz. That is, assuming the finished product looks more appealing than the prototype.

Because let's face it. No one wants to cum on those.

It's too bad that we can't decide mainstream popularity contests based on porn production. My Little Pony would defeat Monster High in a heartbeat.

Here are the most recent stats of Monster High porn from rule34.paheal.net as of June 5, 2013

Monster High has a total of 623 explicit images.
Draculaura is in first place with 166 explicit images.
Frankie Stein is in second place with 132 explicit images.
Cleo De Nile is in third place with 73 explicit images.
Clawdeen Wolf is in fourth place with 70 explicit images.
Lagoona Blue is in fifth place with 45 explicit images.
Ghoulia Yelps is in sixth place with 31 explicit images.

It should be noted that Applejack, who has the least porn out of the mane six, still has more than four times the explicit imagery of all Monster High porn combined.
:ajsmug:

The most popular ghoul at Monster High, based on porn production, is the loli vampire, Draculaura. (They sidestep the issue by assuring us she's 1,500 years old, but she acts like a fifteen-year-old.)
Frankie Stein is no better. The pilot episode reveals that on Frankie's first day of school, she's only sixteen days old. For those who are turned on by Monster High, I'm not sure which is more disturbing. The reanimated necrophilia or the fact that Frankie's body has been warm for less than a month. It's practically newborn porn!

Becoming aroused by the mares of My Little Pony may lead to accusations of bestiality, but at least the mane six are all consenting adults with jobs. (pause) At least they were before Equestria Girls turned them all into highschool students...

Thanks a lot, Hasbro. (sarcasm) I was perfectly content clopping to explicit images of adult ponies. Now you're trying to make me feel guilty for jerking off to porn of teenage girls.

Equestria Girls is hoping to tap into the market for Monster High, by being a more mainstream and less creepy alternative to Mattel's line of dolls.

Mattel seems to be one step ahead of Hasbro, though. It was recently revealed that Mattel is making their own "more mainstream and less creepy" spinoff series of Monster High called "Ever After High."

It's trying to be a more "Disneyfied" version of Monster High. Instead of edgy dolls based on monsters, the dolls of Ever After High are based on familiar fairy tale characters.

What's really funny is that many of the fans of Monster High aren't happy with this spin off.

Sound a little familiar?

I now have more sympathy towards Monster High. It seems like Hasbro and Mattel are distorting their popular brands in the interest of beating the competition to the next big thing.

It's like today's toy market is the Roman coliseum. Mattel and Hasbro send their respective gladiators out to fight, while augmenting their warrior's armor in an attempt to garner favor with the crowd. In spite of feeling betrayed, I believe that beneath the humanized shell of Equestria Girls beats the heart of Friendship is Magic. My Little Pony has been chosen as Hasbro's champion to fight against the superior odds of Mattel. At first, I was confused by the decision to make Equestria Girls, but in light what's happening in the toy industry right now, it makes sense. Hasbro has faith in the My Little Pony brand. Why else would they choose Twilight Sparkle to be the face of their new line of girls dolls?

Those who disparage Equestria Girls are looking at the situation all wrong. Don't think of it as Hasbro whoring out MLP to make a quick buck. Equestria Girls follows the mantra of "ponify all the things."

Can we all agree that ponies makes everything better? I watched some episodes of Monster High. They weren't very good. It made me appreciate how much effort seems to have gone into Equestria Girls. This movie appears to be fusing girly highschool "drama" with the heart of Friendship is Magic.

Do I think Equestria Girls will be as good as Friendship is Magic? No, but let's try looking at it from another perspective.

What did Friendship is Magic do? It elevated a whole genre of children's entertainment. Suddenly, "programs for girls" were no longer synonymous for "programs that suck." My Little Pony changed that.

Now, the same creative team aims to do something similar with another maligned genre: The highschool drama.

Much like what Friendship is Magic did for shows targeted towards young girls, I believe that Equestria Girls will elevate the mediocre genre of highschool drama into something new and wonderful.

Well, that's all for this month. Thank you for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

Report Bronystories · 6,223 views ·
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Comments ( 37 )

Here's a link to the 1,010th porn image of Derpy, for those who are interested. [Link NSFW]

I'm going to say it once and only once...

The fact that you have enough time to gather this kind of information is mildly disturbing.

The fact that I sit and read it word for word every time just outright scares me.

Damn. That's impressive. I have no words to the sheer level of thought in this.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Well said, Stories.

I love how thorough these are, I am learning about the world and porn, if only school was this good! In all seriousness, I actually wonder how good Equestria Girls might be, it's trailer didn't leave me with an amazed impression, but they did Twilicorn half way decent, so I will definitely give them the benefit of a doubt. After all, we as humans over react to change a lot even when it is good...

That RIP Derpy video was beautiful.
Rainbow Dash still has higher quality porn than Twilight.
Equestria Girls will always be a failure in my eyes, i'd rather stay ignorant than take my chances of having my eyes burned out. (Even if there is a higher chance of meeting Bronies were I to watch the movie, it's still not worth it.)

Thanks for another insightful entry! :twilightsmile:
Nothing like porn stats to cheer me up! No really, I mean it. :twilightoops:

Seems like your pony links are all dead, though.

Your dedication to pony porn inspires me.

I cant see the pictures! :raritydespair:

1126169When I try to open it, it gives me an "Error 403 No hotlinking permitted in high-load mode" message.

1126169
Haha, I looked for that image right after it was mentioned. Took forever to load though and I still cannot find exactly what "Rule 8" is.

I have really started to like these articles you write, they are informative, funny, and based on a perverse subject. It has so much wrongness it is right.

I went back in your posts looking for more graphs of when MLP porn started. I like how it quickly jumped to third place in total porn images shortly after it aired. However, I would like to see how the Mane 6 lined up from the start. I know in the beginning Rainbow Dash basically had anything and everything under the sun and in the closet stuffed into her. So I would think that there would be more images of her than Twilight, least to begin with. Do you know where I could find data going back that far?

Just from watching the posted clips about Monster High was nauseating, I do now know how you managed to get through a couple episodes. I would be far more likely to watch the Barbie animated shows, those at least were funny. Your analysis of Mattel and Hasbro as well as the background was very informative and thought out. I think I can live with Equestria Girls as long as it stays an "Alternate Universe" and does not infect the show. I would see that as "ponify all the things" getting some very unwanted backwash. I want "Monster Highify all the things", that is just wrong. MLP:FiM should remain on a pedestal with its influence flowing downhill, I want nothing flowing back up.

Again, thank you Bronystories for providing us with this information in such a witty and funny way. I envy your real friends, you seem like quite the character. (Unless you are some creepy ass person who "had" friends, as in you know wear their faces and talk to yourself.)

Barbie is aryan toy race!
:raritywink:

You may want to repost the Hasbro-Mattel analysis. That's some very wise, well-thought out information that some people will avoid simply because it's attached to porn stats. Just a thought.

Thank you for being the higher voice, Bronystories. I was so tired of hearing people complain about a movie that hasn't even come out yet.:twilightsmile:

I like how the RIP Derpy video has images from the Lord of the Rings, but has the Elder Scrolls III - Morrowind theme playing in the background

That was long. And hard to read. Long and hard. Heheheheh.

Thanks a lot, Hasbro. (sarcasm) I was perfectly content clopping to explicit images of adult ponies. Now you're trying to make me feel guilty for jerking off to porn of teenage girls.

Hes right. . .he is absolutely 100%, no shadow of a doubt, RIGHT!

I totally hate myself now. :applecry::

I'm always amazed by how well-researched and insightful these are.

:pinkiecrazy: I am going to hell in a hand basket and I regret NOTHING!

:pinkiecrazy: Till next Rule 34 update ~ <3

Mattel seems to be one step ahead of Hasbro, though. It was recently revealed that Mattel is making their own "more mainstream and less creepy" spinoff series of Monster High called "Ever After High."

Is it a story about drug junkies at a rehab center? :trollestia:

I agree wholeheartedly with your views on Equestria Girls, why not give it a chance before calling it shit? Honestly, it's like their early prejudice against the show all over again.

I'm calling it now. Less than twenty-four hours after the Equestria Girls dolls are released, people will post pictures of the nude dolls covered in jizz.

Will

???
Haven't you visited 4chan lately?

1126646
The people on 4chan don't have access to the Equestria Girls dolls yet. I'm specifically talking about the humanized dolls.

As for your analysis of Equestria Girls, God I hope you're right.

Really shouldn't be bringing Him up in a porn blog...

3.bp.blogspot.com/-ItW1xKNryiU/UZCruEEAxuI/AAAAAAABaAE/4_5ywiYQycU/s1600/1.jpg
That's something like I've been saying all along.
i359.photobucket.com/albums/oo39/ShadowGirl91/PONIES/PonifyALLthememes.png

Besides:
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDUvMTcvMDBfNTJfNTJfNjgzXzMyNjkxN19fVU5PUFRfX3R3aWxpZ2h0X3NwYXJrbGVfc3VnZ2VzdGl2ZV9lcXVlc3RyaWFfZ2lybHNfNTEyZTUzYWVhNGM3MmRkMzlkMDAwNWUzLmpwZyJdXQ/326917__twilight-sparkle_suggestive_edit_panties_equestria-girls_fake_512e53aea4c72dd39d0005e3_51935de9a4c72d082d0027ae.jpg
It also is going to bring more cloppers around, whoever find fap to ponies too gross, will start watching this new wave of EG cloppics, and eventually will move into regular crotch-bobs clop.

It's too bad that we can't decide mainstream popularity contests based on porn production.

I'm sure even background characters can beat Monster high numbers in paheal. But MH still beating Equestria Girls in its original movie, non Humanized, nor Anthro, versions.

fans of Monster High

Necrophiles :ajbemused:

The cartoon is funny, so why people is to taking so seriously that this is going to be a high school drama? Many people wanted to see them humanized, and i'm surprised to see the levels of hate in this community for a non cannon movie.

so,
t.qkme.me/3uqndp.jpg

For everyone else:
1.bp.blogspot.com/-mqiLfratJZk/UZCoL3MMLxI/AAAAAAABZ-4/Oywbg4G8YqM/s640/1.jpg
Brad will love you all the same.

WOW! :flutterrage:
TOO MANY INFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiesad2:

Because let's face it. No one wants to cum on those.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Congrats on getting this piece on Equestria Girls featured on EQD (although they censored some of it). I wonder if any of EQD's readers know about the rest.

I now have more sympathy towards Monster High. It seems like Hasbro and Mattel are distorting their popular brands in the interest of beating the competition to the next big thing.

Here's my thing about toy companies: Back when I was a kid, the transformers toys we had would break ten minutes after they were out of the packaging. Nowadays, they're either a unibody*, like a Mercury Sable, or break ten seconds after the packaging is looked at in the wrong way.

I stopped buying and asking for most toys when I turned 8. 8. I stopped asking for toys when I was eight. Instead, what Hot Wheels I had were collected and put on display, and now I collect them. I'll get one or two as side gifts or a stockingstuffer every now and again, or I might buy one of the treasure hunt cars if I see them, but I don't even really play with them any more, just the duplicates. The only toy set I've even played with in the last three years are legos, which seem to be getting less and less lego-esque and more mega block-like with every new product line.

Now, you may be wondering why that's relevant. Well, the reason is simple: Toys are trying too hard to be exact copies of each other. There's no point in choosing between Bratz or Barbie, because they're both a doll that has only one purpose: get its hair brushed, and look like an air-headed bitch. All toys are headed in that direction, and I'm sitting here with bated breath, hoping that a few of those I look back on fondly will somehow avoid the fall.

*A single molded unit forming both the bodywork and chassis of a vehicle.

You bring up some great points about Hasbro and Mattel and their competition.

Toy companies have come to see children as a gold mine, this mainly comes from commercials and television shows that are aimed primarily towards children. This is because children are a passive audience, they take in whatever you show them and do not think anything of it other than it looks nice and that they want it. “A deficit model has dominated research on children: children cannot distinguish selling intent, children have trouble distinguishing advertisements from programming, children are easily misled by what they see on the screen” (Alexander 1995, p345). And in the past, this has been proven true as well. When Hasbro's first commercial of Mr. Potato Head aired (as well as Mattel's Barbie commercial) sales increased drastically overnight.

Of course this is a little different for older age groups, most people are more media literate and are able to block out commercials and other selling distractions while watching television, but the idea is still the same. We are still likely to buy things that interest us based on what we have seen on television.

With the success of My Little Pony (among all age groups) and Monster High (especially in the pre-teen age group), it is no wonder that both Hasbro and Mattel are quick to want to do capitalize on that popularity. If it brought in revenue before, a slight change is likely to be able to do it again. Not to mention, it is usually a guarantee that if part of the focus of the product is that it takes place in a high school environment, it will be fairly popular among younger girls, who, look to cartoons taking place in high school as an idea of what they will deal with when they go to high school.

There will always be people who disagree with changes, that is true in marketing, but there will always be consumers for the new product. For example, my younger sisters' friends (who are all in the target audience) are incredibly excited for Equestria Girls to hit the theaters.

The one thing I want to point out is that your information on the American Girl dolls are a tad bit off.

American Girl became focused on more trivial issues of modern day.

While they have made major changes from where they started with to today, they still do release dolls that deal with major issues during different time periods, even though they are not the center of the American Girl line anymore. What you mention is the "Girl of the Year" dolls, which are all aligned with a charity or some sort of organization that promotes a cause.
I'm not saying they haven't become homogenized, they definitely have, but they still do release historical dolls that deal with heavy topics, like yellow fever and economic depression.

Today will be the only day my research paper on children as consumers will ever be relevant to my life.

Okay dude, you'll probably be like "what?" getting a comment on a really old blog post like this, but since I started following you, I have been reading your old blog posts, especially the popular ones and the 34 updates. I have to say your blogs are some of the most fascinating and informative things on this site and should be declared a fimfiction treasure. I could have probably said this on any of them, but this one is most relevant to my interests because it brings together my three main obsessions: Ponies, Monster High, and porn (ranked 1, 2, and 3 respectively).

There were a lot of interesting things to consider here...though as a MH fan I may have been a bit more inclined than the average ponyfag to see the battle going on between Hasbro and Mattel on this particular front. I say may because I cannot be certain. I have been plastered in all of my free time for the past half decade of my life, so at any given time, any and all speculation as to my thoughts/knowledge beyond the past hour or two is just that: speculation. Still, I have some vague, quite possibly imagined memory of tentatively drawing this parallel at some time in the past. Anyway, on to the more concrete things that I can address, and which I shall address for no reason other than the fact that I am fucking hammered right now:

It should be noted that Applejack, who has the least porn out of the mane six, still has more than four times the explicit imagery of all Monster High porn combined.

This upsets me. Monster High is a great franchise, and deserves much more porn than this. Not that I have anything against Applejack, mind you, in fact she often vies for my second favorite pony spot. I'm just saying that it saddens me that all of MH combined can't surpass the lowest porn-producer of the mane 6. Then again I could flip that around and take heart in it, as a testament to just how amazing the porn-producing capacity of this fandom is.

The most popular ghoul at Monster High, based on porn production, is the loli vampire, Draculaura. (They sidestep the issue by assuring us she's 1,500 years old, but she acts like a fifteen-year-old.)

Two things about this:

1. Despite the sad lack of MH porn produced thus far, at least best monster is leading the charge.

2. Draculaura is not 1500, dawg, she's 1599...just one year away from her sweet 1600. That's legit to hit in my book.

Frankie Stein is no better. The pilot episode reveals that on Frankie's first day of school, she's only sixteen days old. For those who are turned on by Monster High, I'm not sure which is more disturbing. The reanimated necrophilia or the fact that Frankie's body has been warm for less than a month.

How does this not turn you on?

I watched some episodes of Monster High. They weren't very good.

I will end you, Bronystories.

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuhhh but seriousloy man, your blogs are not only hilarious, but have probably taught me more stuff than I've learned in any single week since I graduated highschool. You are the author I wish I could be, and I respect the living fuck out of you. Rock on man. Oh god I am so fucking wasted.

I love you though.

srsly

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Thanks for the lengthy letter! I really appreciate the in-depth feedback.

I didn't mean to disparage Monster High. It has a target audience and is trying to appeal to it; I'm just not that audience.

I mentioned that I liked the new Barbie cartoons better than Monster High; mainly because Barbie was more meta about the show.

Some of the later Monster High episodes were alright.

I'm glad you enjoy my blogs and flattered that you consider them FIMfiction treasures. Thanks for sharing your passion for Monster High with me.

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The fact that you responded to my comment on a month-old blog post shows what a god-tier man you are. Srsly, I've been reading your blog posts incessantly for the past couple days because they're pretty goddamn fascinating, but the fact that you take the time to reply to people like me sets you apart from the other popular lunatics on this site (in a good way). BTW I didn't mean to say you were dissing Monster High - I don't know if you give a fuck or not but I'm just clarifying - I was really fucking drunk when I wrote that whole thing and I was trying to be funny. Jesus christ, I'm really drunk now, so who knows...the reason I even started this...typing(?) is now a mystery to me...a mystery dipped in secret sauce. Anyway, man, what I'm trying to say here (I think), despite all the spaghetti, is that you're cool, so just keep doing what you do, and I shall keep following it. I can't wait for the next porn update.

The way you create and lay out all this information makes me think you'd actually make a goddamn good teacher.

And then I remember most of it's about porn. :rainbowlaugh:

No but seriously, this is fundamentally more informative that most news articles I read on a daily basis. You deserve a far higher reader base.

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