• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 8th, 2023

Benman


Benman belongs to a class of bipedal ape notable for its use of tools and clothing, highly adept at symbolic communication such as language and art.

More Blog Posts71

  • 216 weeks
    Fragments From The Archives

    Hey folks! It’s been a while. I hope everyone’s doing well over here.

    I was going through some old files, and I found a bunch of unfinished stories I was working on, way back when. I’ve posted three of them in my scrapfile for whoever's interested.

    10 comments · 608 views
  • 505 weeks
    I Am Technically Not Dead

    So, new story. My first since 2013, actually. It might be my last.

    Read More

    8 comments · 1,624 views
  • 529 weeks
    Unlikely Crossovers: Royal Canterlot Library Edition

    “An Imaginative Performance” Or “Expectations”: Apple Bloom has the lead role in her school play, and her performance will be perfect. No matter what.

    Read More

    12 comments · 1,484 views
  • 538 weeks
    New Holiday Story: Where The Heart Is

    I've posted a new story about going home for the holidays. You won't see it in your feed, because the mods in their infinite wisdom have decreed that sufficiently short stories aren't actually stories, so this blog is to let you know that it's available in my

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    0 comments · 878 views
  • 540 weeks
    Help Me, And Win A Free Commission

    Thanks to Chris, I've been thinking about writing style recently. What is a style? Do I have one? Do I have more than one? How can I tell? “Thinking really hard about these questions” doesn't seem like a good way to get answers, since my most common problem as a writer is that I don't communicate the ideas I mean to communicate.

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    15 comments · 1,210 views
Apr
5th
2013

Unlikelier Crossovers · 11:35pm Apr 5th, 2013

The plan was to make sure this didn't become a Thing. The plan has failed.



Sharing the Night's Favored Child: Three years have passed since Twilight Sparkle's mentor, Nightmare Moon, sent her to Ponyville. Now, Twilight must use everything she's learned about friendship to become a princess herself.

The Three Sisters Doo: The secret origins of Daring, Ditzy, and Chrysalis.

Memories Of Days Long Past Sins: A miscast spell forces Nyx to relive the Nightmare's memories.

With A Spark On The East: After Spitfire ditches their date, Rainbow Dash discovers her latent talent for pyrokinesis.

Pink, Blue, And Harshwhinny: Wait what how did this get in here

No Regrets Are Optimal: An advanced machine creates a simulated world that fulfills the user's values through sorority and ponies.

Whip, Wing, and Whine: Daring Do and Indiana Jones must convince Pinkie Pie not to commit a party foul.

Dinky's First Act of Will: SPIDERS

Spike's Harshwhinnial: Where are these even coming from

How To Reset A Unicorn Tooth: Cadence struggles to solve the mystery of her heritage before the Crystal Kingdom explodes and reboots the time loop. Again.

Via Equestria: Total War: The main six take part in a scenic race, test and strengthen their friendships, and murder the stuffing out of anything in their way.

The Wrong Platinum Crown: A subtle test of table manners goes awry, sending Rarity on a continent-spanning quest.

Only Harshwhinny: A Miss Harshwhinny Production: This isn't supposed to happen what is going on

The Flight of the Harshwhinny: Oh no I can't make it stop

The Life And Times Of A Harshwhinnying Pony: aaaaaaaaaaaaa


As always, add your own in the comments—maybe if we get enough of these I can finally stop thinking about them. Four points to anyone who can identify every fic I referenced above.

Report Benman · 1,425 views ·
Comments ( 24 )

>With A Spark On The East: After Spitfire ditches their date, Rainbow Dash discovers her latent talent for pyrokinesis.

And then Dash sets Nines on fire?

> Via Equestria: Total War: The main six take part in a scenic race, test and strengthen their friendships, and murder the stuffing out of anything in their way.

I would SO read the fuck out of this.

Harshwhinny Harshwhinnial: OH SWEET STARS BEN IT'S CROSSING OVER WITH ITSELF YOU'VE DOOMED SPACETIME

(I owe you an email re your current project. Tonight! Leaving work and dashing to a party with the spouse.)

If you didn't want this to become a thing, you shouldn't have written that first blog entry.
Also, words cannot adequately express how much I want to read The Three Sisters Doo.

Also also:
The Life and Times of a Background Pony: Lyra Heartstrings is cursed to never be remembered by another living soul. So she's going to bang every one of them, no strings attached.

Ascend Through Derplicity: Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares... until she suddenly becomes an alicorn.

The Sweetie Chronicles: Fraggles: Sweetie Belle must search for the crystallized shards of Twilight Sparkle with the aid of subterranean Muppets and the wisdom of the All-Knowing Trash Heap.

Wait, that last one doesn't seem quite right...

It Fire Spores A Village - When Spike falls ill at the ripe age of 240, all of Ponyville has to work together to bury him before he starts to stink.:scootangel:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

oh shit this is the best XD Time to search my favorites for more.

Tickling Two Ponies: Gilda seeks revenge on Smudge and Copper Key by tying them up and tickling them. Smudge recounts his time serving in World War II.

Combinatorics of the Friendquisition: Six parallel universes where the mane cast are variously Inquisiponies, heretics, tradesponies or mercenaries collide in one big ball of grimdark wackiness.

Flutterbox's Last Hurrah: Caramel is jealous that Applejack is more interested in Fluttershy's talking [CENSORED] than him, so he [REALLY CENSORED] and that's how he became a mare.

Directive: Be a Better Stallion: The Blueblood program awakens after running Gala.exe and is directed by the Celestia AI to reformat his coding or something I don't know.

Our First Peas in a Pod: The epic and heroic tale of Equestria's first program to send ponies to space using peapod technology and also they need to tell you about their peaness.

Dear Pipsqueak: Princess Celestia writes a letter to Pipsqueak explaining in great detail why his adventure journal is poorly written, and just how much of a naive dope he is to think his father isn't a pirate.

Oh god, I can't stop laughing at "SPIDERS".

Sins of a Lunar Archmage: Price of Peace: After a near death encounter that proves Ponies aren't the only sentient lifeforms in the universe, Celestia falls in love. Luna does too, but with someone much closer to home.

I Wasn't Prepared for Evolutionary Ideals: Just as Twilight is to be both the newest alicorn, and the newest princess of equestria, her coronation doesn't go as planned when a repentant changeling interrupts, and now questions why she is now part changeling, unicorn and dragon.

Luna Plays... Cultural Artifacts: Luna gets bored one evening, and gathers her friends to play this new game, 'Cultural Artifacts.' Little does she know how close to home the game will hit.

One last one, i swear.

Celestia Ships Equestria Earth: The Sorceress: Celestia helps catalog and inventory the newest game to be released en masse. Apparently, it's an MMORPG about the new Princess Twilight falling from grace and stealing all the magic from the world.

Those were bad, i know. But, i'm not apologizing and i still regret nothing.

984083
>Our First Peas in a Pod: The epic and heroic tale of Equestria's first program to send ponies to space using peapod technology and also they need to tell you about their peaness.
I would read this so hard :rainbowkiss:

983950

The Life and Times of a Background Pony: Lyra Heartstrings is cursed to never be remembered by another living soul. So she's going to bang every one of them, no strings attached.

I'm honestly surprised this story doesn't already exist.

Ok. The gloves come off now:

Sex Machine Reports: Twilight falls in love with Chrysalis who turns her into a changeling and orders her to bang everyone in Ponyville so she can learn to be a decent lay.

Bittersweet Decay: Pinkie's teeth all rot and it's so nasty that Rainbow Dash dies the next time they kiss.

Naked Salvation: Twilight writes a clopfic about her friends that doesn't suck.

Better Living through Moonshine and Hard Cider: This is what happens when you try to play Portal while drunk.

Whip, Wing, and Whine: Daring Do and Indiana Jones must convince Pinkie Pie not to commit a party foul.

Oh god, I would love to see that one, but I have to wonder what kind of plot it would have: an oddball adventure where the two treasure hunters have to stop PP with crazy plans that will ruin a well-deserved museum party event, or will it be something very wild of a comedy where they are all drunk and PP is convinced to try do some prank at the party in which the two duo most use their athletic abilities to stop her silly shenanigans... if they don't trip on their foot along the way that is.

Solitary Belle:
Sweetie manages to grab sliver of a wing off a changeling during the wedding. The next things she knows she's become one.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Silent Wings of Steel: Living on her own after her bad fallout with Rainbow Dash, Gilda starts having nightmares terrible enough to drive her to the nearby pony town seeking help. There, a brave young wizard will face down local prejudices, delving into her mind and falling in love with her because apparently ponies and griffons fall in love ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

Sparkle's Reports: Before she can date Luna, Twilight Sparkle must gain experience in the art of Love and Sex, in one afternoon. Hijinks and film noir Pinkie Pie ensue.

Composure is Hard: Rarity requests the help of the rest of the mane cast to write the ending to her novel about budding feelings between Twilight and Celestia.

Lessons in Celestia's Teeth: After several centuries, Princess Twilight is still bitter about her breakup with Celestia over poor dental hygiene.

984289

'Luna Plays... Cultural Artifacts'? What is this idea? Where does it come from? I MUST KNOW MORE!

What am I reading.

I approve of:
Life and Times of a Winning Background Pony

Could use a little touch-up, though.
Life and Times of a Whinny Background Pony

Magnum Opus go.

987539
Ah, from the two fics, 'Luna Plays...' and 'Cultural Artifacts' I saw them sitting next to each other in my favorites list after i saw this blog post, and it fit so well i had to add it.

Is it wrong that I would want to read most of these?

I need to find the contributors to "How to Reset a Unicorn Tooth" now, though.

(I've got a list of weird ships around here somewhere...)

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Ponyfallout: Equestria: AND THEN THE FANDOM WAS OVER

Bon Bon Bon Thrum Thum Thum: A young girl who dreams of ponies is murdered, and plays sweet music.

This is the best and worst thing ever. :heart:

Wow. I never never never realized these existed.

Echoing what others better than me have said before: I would read the fuck outta these.

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