• Member Since 31st Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 2nd, 2020

El Dante


More Blog Posts23

  • 436 weeks
    Why I Haven't Been Writing

    For the both of you who remember me, I'm sure you've grown disheartened by my lack of content for the past year or so, and my occasional promise to return, which has so far only proved empty. I wish I could say the reason I haven't been writing was for the lack of time, but truth be told, I've got plenty of that on my hands these days. It's not lack of ideas or inspiration, either. It's closer to

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    4 comments · 450 views
  • 480 weeks
    Just Assuring You I'm Still Alive

    Still haven't giving up on One is Silver, despite what it may seem. With my new abundance of free time and weight off my shoulders, I hope to update within the ambiguous time span of soon. Gimmie like two weeks and I'll see where I'm at with the next chapter.

    God, I must be slower than George R. R. Martin.

    0 comments · 308 views
  • 508 weeks
    Back in the Saddle (For Real this Time)

    Yeah, it's really high time I got back to writing/editing Silver. I'm seeing this thing through to the end, you wait and see.

    I'm actually almost done re-writing Pinkie's chapter, so I'll have that typed up soon and pass it on to horizon again soon after. I don't know how extensively he'll end up reviewing it. It feels like the training wheels are coming loose.


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    0 comments · 381 views
  • 531 weeks
    Climbing the Ladder

    Bad Horse just made me a contributor to the Serious Stories group.

    0 comments · 437 views
  • 536 weeks
    Back in the Saddle

    Well, I've had quite a break from writing. Moths, in fact. There was a time where I was just writing and editing almost constantly, then I basically came to a screeching halt when summer hit. College has been keeping me on my toes now, but I'm taking fewer units this quarter, and I feel more confidant that I can chip away at my writing now without falling behind. I'm about 1/4 through the

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    5 comments · 454 views
Mar
21st
2013

One is Silver Summed up in Song · 6:03am Mar 21st, 2013

To take a leaf out of Horizon's book (also, spoilers are overrated):

It seems my time is almost up, gotta think up something quick,
I can feel my beating pulse, hear my heart's racing tick.
Though I many not go on, he still can't touch what's me,
This is not the end of me;
I know that's what the shield is telling me.

It looks like we are all we've got, seems this is our final stand,
We must stop them here and now, or they'll devastate the land.
The odds are looking grim, we're outnumbered scores to three.
What a lousy destiny;
But I know it's what the blade is telling me.

Our numbers have been squandered, these people plagued by greed,
Blessed are we that each of us has the other's need.
I've seen their land, their ways, their world, what a sight to see.
We must set each other free;
I know that what the cape is telling me.

I know that this is war, but I can see it isn't right.
Who are we to say who is left to see the light?
They can still be spared, I'll see to that they'll be.
The lives of all depend on me;
I know that's what the staff is telling me.

I'm tired of her guile, getting sick of this routine.
Her tricks are spreading thin, I'm sure that that is clearly seen.
I know that she's somewhere here, no doubt that she must be.
The roots are what uphold the tree;
I know that's what the suit is telling me.

She told me in the riddle it was not enough to know.
Now I understand, I should have seen it long ago.
But now my destiny--it's plain to see,
They've been standing right in front of me;

I know that's what my heart is telling me.



Did this really to clear my head before attempting a particularly delicate chapter.

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Comments ( 3 )

:heart:

I love this — and it's a great teaser for OIS, to boot! Now I'm really looking forward to reading those chapters.

You've done a good job for the most part wriggling through a difficult rhyme scheme (a whole lot of lines constrained to a terminal "-ee" sound), although the "me"/"me"/"me" of the first verse feels like cheating. Can I suggest "This is not the end of me" --> "I'll survive calamity" perhaps? You might be able to play with the first of those three lines and a rhyming dictionary to excise the other "me" as well, but off the top of my head nothing comes to mind.

939380

Well that's kinda the thing. It's really more about how death isn't the end, as it doesn't change the life you've had. It's kinda like it's the end for her, but not of her.

But... not really, I suppose. :trollestia:

939422
Something something "identity" maybe then? "Scores to three"/"destiny" was the most magnificent of the lot; you could probably play with the first verse a little and come up with something similar.

Anyhow, nice work!

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