• Member Since 14th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2015

Amy Clockwork


Writer and Project Lead for Then the Shadows Whisper, FiM Fiction Enthusiast and Reviewer, Lover of Ponies

More Blog Posts52

  • 137 weeks
    A (Not So) Brief Analysis: Fallout Equestria: The Radio Play

    A Quick Note From Amy: I know it's been months seen I pushed out an update stating that the file had been corrupted, resulting in the loss of some 1500 words, and now it's here. I pushed through a writer's block and an overwhelming amount of school work to get it done so please, enjoy this scene-by-scene analysis of F:E - The Radio Play!

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    0 comments · 112 views
  • 146 weeks
    The Second Annual Summer Review Marathon: Closing Ceremony

    Welcome back fillies and gentlecolts! As summer draws to a close, so must this little adventure through the depths of FiM Fiction's story archive. To recap: This last month I managed to storm through seven stories here on Problematic Reviews and in progress, redesigned a lot of this website's visuals! However, the best is still yet to come! I still have to announce my top three must reads of the summer! Now, before anything, I must point…

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    0 comments · 87 views
  • 147 weeks
    FiM Fiction Review: The Sword Coast

    I would like to address something briefly before moving on to the review. As many of you have heard, actor and comedian Robin Williams was pronounced dead in his home last Monday. The actor behind Genie in Aladdin and John Keating in Dead Poet Society brought so much joy and inspiration to my friends and I over the years. The news of his apparent (now confirmed) suicide came as a shock to all of us. Mr. Williams was battling depression leading up to this…

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    0 comments · 87 views
  • 150 weeks
    FiM Fiction Review: Cold Light

    It's rare that I read a story for fun as of late. Especially now with the review marathon in full swing, most stories that catch my eye on Equestria Daily usually go to the purgatory that is my “Read Later” list. With the exception of this one. Perhaps it was how ambitious it is for another relatively low-profile writer to take on such a story? Or how the introduction catches the reader's attention by foreshadowing the climax? These things and more make Scramblers…

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    0 comments · 150 views
  • 151 weeks
    FiM Fiction Review: On Time for a Change

    Welcome back, internet travelers! It appears we're having an unofficial comedy week here as this is the second comedy I have reviewed and the second time I took the schedule as a complete joke! Yeah… Just give no regard to the calendar for now. I'll have it fixed by The Sword Coast! Promise! Jumping in, LordSmokedMeatsandFishes's…

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    0 comments · 111 views
Mar
11th
2013

FiM Fiction Review - White Box · 1:43am Mar 11th, 2013

Well, SimCity proved to be a complete failure so I spent much of my week on Youtube and watching the launcher tell me Servers Busy: Please wait a hundred more hours. Of course, much of that time fimfiction.net stared at me from that comfortable place on my bookmarks bar like a lost cat longing for attention. I think all of you can guess what was the first thing I saw: an unread story that has 10,000+ views. This should be a piece of cake. So let’s get reviewing shall we? Better formatted review found on Google Docs.

Chromosome’s White Box is nothing short of a masterpiece. For being a short story that shouldn't bring much investment when it comes to character development (due to time constraints), this story hooked me from the start with its excellent writing style and winning narration. Even with its considerably large plot holes, White Box was an incredibly touching and thought provoking experience. Here is why this story made me shed some liquid pride.

=== === ===

White Box by Chromosome
Complete (last updated April 18, 2012)

My name is Canvas. I remember because I wrote it in the corner of the white box. It takes twelve steps to get from the cot to the wall. And the lights hurt my eyes. Read it here.

Tags: Tragedy
Rating: Teen

=== === ===

White Box is an interesting take on insanity or more accurately, lack of knowledge. The whole drive behind it is questioning why the character thinks the way he does. What is most fascinating is how well the narrative immerses me into Canvas’s head. Canvas, more precisely his thoughts, narrate the story and it makes the narrative legitimately from his point of view. In fact, the narrative is probably the highest point in this story. Not to mention how his thoughts flow really well and feel incredibly natural. Since the story is mostly thought driven, I was surprised when I found myself not asking about details of actions or environments.

This first-person, thought-driven setup takes on a few issue and succeeds past my expectations, because of how simple everything seems at first. To me, it was shaping up to a really simple-minded approach to Canvas’s character. I shocked when it did the complete opposite. I found that White Box was so brilliantly set up to later so us just how much he develops as a character! In addition, it delivers one hell-of-a-punch when things got intense near the end.

The pacing was excellently done and it became apparent when the climax felt like a train hit me. The build up was excellent and there weren’t any parts that felt rushed or overstayed their welcome. Twilight’s appearance was spot on and Chromosome put her in a place we have never seen before: what she will do when she sees other ponies doing wrong deeds. Twi stayed true to her character and reacted just as she would in the show. This is pretty amazing considering how we’ve never seen such a situation canonized.

Unfortunately, White Box has a big flaw to it. As mentioned in the beginning of my review, this story has some plot holes. Although it wraps up nicely, several questions are left unanswered. A fair share of things were not explained and left me wondering if there was more. I consider this major problem because White Box doesn't have any excuse to continue the main conflict.

There are not enough words in the modern English dictionary to express how much I recommend this story. To summarize, mind-blowing narrative, incredible character development, excellent pacing, and an intense climax came together to make a real masterpiece. White Box is must-read for anyone looking to a short, touching story. Thank you Chromosome. This was Admujica, see you guys next time.

White Box gets a rating of: 9 out of 10
Read it here. (Click it NOW!)


=== Enjoy your Spring Break everyone!!! ===

Report Amy Clockwork · 431 views ·
Comments ( 1 )

This review was re-posted because of a little (kind-of large) mistake I made. The story is actually titled White Box and I kept calling it The White Box. :twilightoops: God, I need to pay more attention to these things. Thanks to RazgrizS57 on Reddit for pointing that out!

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