Crystal Ponies Confirmed for Useless Hunks of Shiny (Episerd Sperlers) · 4:26pm Feb 9th, 2013
So, after the introduction of the Crystal Empire, I wrote a story about how the Crystal Ponies were lazy, horrible creatures that enforced their empire through whining, general uselessness and threatening not to fill the skies with Rainbow Shininess.
My headcanon has now been confirmed.
"Our stylist came down with a case of shitty excuse not to do their job."
And all the other crystal ponies just sort of look at one another thinking, Work? Actually do work? Oh no. Oh, oh, oh, no. I'm not gonna step up.
So Rarity has less than an hour to learn a completely new style and put it together, because (as someone who has never seen or even heard of this before) she is most qualified to pull it off.
"An important dignitary is coming to determine whether we can host an important event! Ah, but none of us feel like doing it. I guess Equestria will just plunge into depression and darkness forever."
"Hey, you know who loves travelling halfway across the world and doing uncompensated labor for ponies who are too lazy to lift a hoof to help themselves? Purple Smart and her idiot friends that saved us from our own ennui last time!"
"Of course, brilliant! But wait, what if she asks for help? Like, a tour guide who knows their way around the castle or a proper briefing on the dignitary they're supposed to receive? What if she asks for a budget to work with? What if she asks us to do basically anything other than wander around uselessly?"
"We just won't give her any time to do so."
And that fucker that just splashed through the puddle (the only puddle in the entire Crystal Empire) and soaked the dignitary, because watching where he was going and walking at the same time would have been too exhausting. Cities hoping to host the Olympic games have gone so far as to bus homeless people hundreds of miles away to put on a clean face, but the Crystal Ponies can't even be bothered to clean the streets.
That said, this may have been my favorite episode of this season. It was enjoyable in that gleeful, silly way only children's programming and slasher movies are capable of, and the bookends from the previous episode were a neat touch. If this is the direction that they're headed in with "Season 4: Maximum Princess Overload," then I'd almost be tempted to buy a purple alicorn.
But shiny is pretty looking.
I didn't particularly like the episode. It wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't very interesting to me. And Pinkie Pie's antics were needlessly annoying and bothersome. It felt like her parts were written by a fanfic author that didn't understand her character very well, and just turned her obnoxious dial to maximum without rhyme or reason. (Which is weird, because it was allegedly written by David Polsky, who also wrote "Feeling Pinkie Keen" and "Too Many Pinkies" which I both thought were excellent.)
The one saving grace in all of this was:
i.imgur.com/RGymJMv.gif
814593
So many things have been confirmed.
Applejacks hoof is on pinkies vagina
Anyway, I'm having trouble seeing where they'll go for season 4. It has to happen because the powers that be declare it so, but how are the staff gonna work with it?