A Little Something for my 500 Subscribers · 5:44pm Feb 1st, 2013
So I just hit 500 subscribers the other day. I've gotta say, the idea that 500 people said to themselves, "Hey, I think this guy has some neat writing. I think I'll follow him." is just awesome. So, to all of you, I want to say you all are the most awesome people on this planet, and I love every single one of you.
Seriously. I love all of you. Crack open the wine.
And as a thank you to all of you, I've got a little something for ya. You see, a year or so ago wasn't the first time I wrote fanfiction. And for those who've checked out my fanfiction.net page, I'm not talking about that BioShock story either. I'd like to take you back to a time when I was but a wee RatherHomely, eight years old and full of hopes and dreams. It was at this time, in the height of my love for a game called Paper Mario, I wrote a story about it. This was before I even knew what fanfiction was.
And I still have it.
So, for your viewing pleasure, I've uploaded the story onto the internet to let people witness my writing at it's finest. With great pleasure and pride, I present you with; The Mystery of the Ruins of Alpho.
God help us all.
As an additional note, for my MPPT3K people, I've added a little closure for MPPT3K in Fallen Prime's Fifteenth Riff Massacre. While I'd strongly suggest reading the full thing, the bit of closure is at the very end if you want to skip to it. I wasn't planning to do anything further originally with MPPT3K, so this is a nice little send off to the series.
And traffic spike in 3, 2, 1...
Feel the shame, Homely. I know that feel. I ended up getting rid of my first story, it was so shit.
Ahh.... My first fanfic. What was it? Probably something where I took Scooby Doo and Jimmy Neutron and put them together. I honestly don't know what my first fanfic was.
For some god-forsaken reason, I really want to read this.
Love you too.
Now, commence story reading!
Also,
Vroomglea.
it's sad to see MPPT3K go
Just read both.
Dat story.
Probably my favorite is:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwbjte26WV1qjiv9co1_500.jpg
Time to read an embarrassing story.
The writing becomes somewhat of a cluster fuck. Also, Paper Mario is my favorite series. Love em' all. Though, battling in Paper Mario Sticker Star pretty much proves pointless. What with no leveling up.
>Paper Mario
FUCK YES
That is all.
No matter what little kids try to write, it always comes out as comedy. Kinda like the CMC's talent show act, actually.
The only story I remember writing when I was eight was this weird thing about a monster made of snot and eyeballs that would run around picking people's noses and ripping out their eyes to stick onto its body. The only way anyone could come up with to kill it was to leave some grenades that were painted to look like giant eyeballs next to a barrel of acid labeled "boogers" or some such.
I'm sure the teacher was highly impressed. I still have the original around somewhere.
935615
You should think about getting it published. I'd read that.
937177
Holy crap, some of this stuff is hilarious. Trying to find that story, I started digging around in my old school papers, and got rather sidetracked looking at other things. My spelling was even worse than yours as a kid, apparently. Here's something I wrote when I was 8, titled My Family's Goat:
"My family's goat was prety big. It was brown and white like my dog. Sometimes when I went down to pet it it ramed me because it was playing. It wasn't a boy or a girl because a few weeks after it was born it got someting like a realy tite ruber band arond it's balls and they fell off. We sold it because it wasn't eating enough of the grass that was growing."
And then from when I was seven, the epic masterpiece: My Brother Rams Me Into Things. "My brother rams me into our down stairs door and our up stairs door alot he osoe rams me into our book shelf to. I think it is realy fun. I ask him to do it agan but he does not. he rams me into the stuff head first. the end." Then there's a note from the teacher saying "add on telling why." so I added "He rams me into the things because I teas him a little bit." I even found a later version with pictures and everything! I kinda remember that, actually.
Then there was something describing how our pet snake ate rats, and some weird story about my family's dog secretly using hypnotized bees and things to conquer other galaxies whenever we went on vacation. Plus lots of other things not interesting enough to mention, of course. I did find that first story too, which seems to have gone through at least one set of corrections, because it was typed and had much better spelling. All one long paragraph, though. Apparently it might've been a sequel to another story, because it was titled The Secret Weapon II vs. Half Eyeball Half Booger Monster.
"One day the Secret Weapon II was torching a guy that robbed a bank. He then saw a disgusting sight. Something was running down the street. It was all green, white, brown, and blue. The Secret Weapon went over to it. It shot an eyeball at him with green stuff coming off. The eyeball hit the Secret Weapon and knocked him over. The Secret Weapon got up and went to his secret hideout. and found out where he was. He went to where the monster was and hid. After a few minutes he jumped out and shot a missile at the monster and eyeballs flew everywhere. But when the Secret Weapon looked at the monster all its eyes were there. So the Secret Weapon hid again. He watched. what the monster did. He was chasing people ripping thier eyes out and taking their boogers. The Secret Weapon made a giant eyeball and a giant container of boogers. The eyeball was really a giant bomb, and the boogers were really liquid acid. When the monster put the eye in him and poured the boogers on him, he exploded and the parts that were left disintegrated. The end"
I love that opening sentence.
And slightly closer to your story, there were a couple short writings about a couple video games I played, Kyrandia and Joe and Mac: Caveman Ninja, but they were just rambling descriptions about what happened in them, not stories.
938092
I just love going through old papers and crap from school! It really makes you wonder what you could've possibly been thinking when you were a kid. I swear, if I could compile a bunch of little kid stories into a book it'd be the best selling humor novel on the market.
I also hope your head being rammed into stuff so often didn't have any negative consequences.
939121
Ha, that actually sounds like a good idea. Not only would lots of people buy it, but you wouldn't really even have to write anything yourself.
But nah, I'm sure it didn't really affect me at all.
And that does sound like a good idea for a book, actually. Not only would a ton of people buy it, but you wouldn't even have to do the writing.