Story Reviews » Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXVI · 10:00pm May 29th
Hey, folks! As mentioned last blog, I've been going through my old blogs for nostalgia's sake, a little bit at a time. This has led to me noticing some minor issues and deciding to do something about them. Thus, this blog has two notable changes from my usual, just to try them out and get opinions.
The first comes as a recommendation from Bad Horse back on my rules blog nearly a year ago: adding publication dates to the stories. I had forgotten all about the recommendation, but I realize I've been doing it for my original fiction reviews so there's really no reason not to. It also helps in other ways, for example giving more alert readers an awareness of when a story was published within the show's runtime so they know what canon the author was aware of and can take that into account.
The second change: One of the habits I developed over the years was in starting my reviews with a short "opening statement" of sorts that introduces the idea of the story before getting into the actual review. Every now and then this can come off as a little repetitive, especially considering that the next paragraph often starts a proper (typically non-spoilery) summary of what the story is actually about. The are also times when the "opening statement" goes for more than one paragraph, which might be confusing too. So, to distinguish it from the review proper, I've started placing these statements in quotes.
Will these changes improve the blog? Hard to say, but it can't hurt to give it a go at least once and see how things turn out. Let's get to the reviews and take a look.
Stories for This Week:
Fluttershy is dead! by MorganaTheNotCat
Nonplatonic? by Fillyfoolish
A String Wedding by BlazzingInferno
For Goodness Sake: the Last Hearth's Warming Horror Story by Jade Ring
Ghost Lights by Winston
The Haunting at Buckwheat Manor by NorrisThePony
Forecast by Jondor
The Last Apples of Autumn by CristalGalaxy
No by Just A Random Pegasus
And Yet We Still Heal by RedHoodie21
Total Word Count: 166,574
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 3
Needs Work: 2
None: 0
Fluttershy is dead!
6,083 Words
By MorganaTheNotCat
Published Jan 2024
Oh no, some evilly nefarious ne'er-do-well has evilly murdered Fluttershy… evilly! It’s up to the Cutie Mark Crusader Homicide Detectives to solve this case.
The CMC wanted to try getting cutie marks as homicide detectives, but homicides don’t exactly happen in little Ponyville. Obviously, they don’t want to go homiciding anypony, so they ask the Mane Six for help. The solution is to make a homicide happen in Ponyville! Thus, Fluttershy is dead.
“Um… Guys… I’m not actually-” Fluttershy lifted her head and her wing, but was rudely interrupted by the others.
“Shh! You’re dead!” Pinkie exclaimed, bringing one hoof to Fluttershy’s lips. Dead ponies don’t talk!
“Oh um, okay.” Fluttershy fell back to the ground, afraid of being yelled at again.
Well, sorta dead.
Anyway, this follows the CMC as they interview their prime suspects – the Mane Six, of course – in hopes of solving the murder of Fluttershy. Amusingly, their first witness is Fluttershy herself. Obviously, this whole thing is silly in the extreme, with (most) everypony in the M6 playing along to give their part of the clues to how Fluttershy ‘died’ and who is responsible.
Was kinda hoping it would be Angel Bunny. That would have been perfect.
Is the story well-written? No; the writing style is Telly to the point of absurdity and the author is incapable of sticking to any one perspective for more than a sentence or two. I’d like to say that the characters are all well-handled for their given traits, and this is certainly true for most of the girls. The only one I question is Fluttershy, who is still acting like a total doormat despite the fact this is set in Season 4. I can’t help but feel she’d be at least a little less docile at this point, but it’s a hard call to make so I’m trying not to let it bug me much.
The saving grace of all this is that it’s clearly written to be childish, so the poor writing isn’t as big an issue as it could be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely still an issue, but I’m having trouble placing how much of the poor writing style is due to the intended manner of the story or due to MorganaTheNotCat’s overly-Telly manner of doing things. I suspect there’s a bit of both going on here, so I’m trying to find the proper balance between lenient and harsh. It’s not easy.
Overall, I really like this idea, especially the way even the CMC are completely in on the game. A good concept that could be cutesy gold if handled well, but MorganaTheNotCat isn’t where they need to be to make the most of it. Still, if you’d like to see the Mane Six put together a silly game of ‘detective’ for the CMC in the name of a little fun, it’s not a bad way to blow some time.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Nonplatonic?
1,946 Words
By Fillyfoolish
Published November 2019
Sunset has a song in her head. Twilight offers her notebook so she can try to write it down. She neglects that she has, uh, doodles in that notebook.
A short, silly story in which Sci-Twi accidently lets Sunset know that she's crushing on her hard. And... Yeah, that's it. Told from Sci-Twi's perspective, it mostly involves her being a distracted ditz on account of just being around Sunset in general. Stupid sexy redheads with their distractingly cute ways.
This was fun, with the only real caveat being that you need to be in the mood for that cutesy teenage romance thing, because that's all this is. Also, Sunset being a tease. If that sounds like something you can get behind, then by all means give this a go. There are worse ways to spend ten minutes.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
A String Wedding
10,282 Words
By BlazzingInferno
Sequel to Proposal in C Major
Published May 2014
Octavia and Concerto have been engaged for two years, forever waiting to have their wedding until they can afford it. One day Octavia is visiting Ponyville and having dinner at Sugarcube Corner when Mrs. Cake suggests she have the wedding in town. It’ll certainly be cheap enough for their modest budget. There’s only one catch: the town wedding planner is the same pony who ruined the Grand Galloping Gala two years ago.
Here Octavia finally gets to officially meet Pinkie Pie. When Pinkie discovers that she ruined the gala for Octy, she becomes determined to host the single best wedding ever for her and Concerto as a form of apology. Sensing Pinky’s sincerity, Octavia agrees to take the risk. And so Pinkie wrangles the rest of the Mane Six to help create the Perfect Wedding.
Half-silly, half-serious, this goes about as well as you likely expect. In the defense of the Mane Six, none of them can really be blamed for the final disaster; it was literally out of their hooves. And this is, of course, a wedding story, so it all goes well in the end. BlazzingInferno wasn’t about to ruin Best Background Pony’s special day, after all.
This is one of those stories that could easily have been an episode of the show thanks to the light comedy elements and BlazzingInferno’s writing style. It comes off as a pleasant little slice-of-life and didn’t need to be anything more. Better yet, it avoids a lot of the overdramatization that is so common in wedding stories.
I find I like this one far more than its predecessor. If you’re looking for a good show-style short story, want to see the Mane Six getting into some traditional antics, or just want to read an Octavia-centric story, this isn’t a bad one to get into.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Secrets We Keep — WHYRTY?
Forever Twilight — WHYRTY?
Friendsihp 101 — Pretty Good
Where We Belong — Pretty Good
A Dragon's Age — Pretty Good
For Goodness Sake: the Last Hearth's Warming Horror Story
9,378 Words
By Jade Ring
Sequel to Apple Valley: A Hearth's Warming Horror Story
Published December 2023
It has been ten years since Ponyville was wiped off the map. In that time, three of the four survivors have found ways to move on and live happy lives once more. But for Apple Bloom, the nightmare never really ended.
And so we return to the last of Jade Ring's Krampus-inspired Grogar trilogy. The original story saw the evil Grogar appear in Ponyville to punish the entire town for one foal's transgression, leaving only Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, and Button Mash as survivors. The sequel told us of the fate of those taken by Grogar, forced to live on as spirits in an eternal agony of ice in the area that once was Ponyville, only visible to the average pony on Hearth's Warming Eve.
For this final story, we re-meet Sweetie and Button (now married) and Diamond, who get together every Hearth's Warming to honor the traditions of the season, maintain a friendship born out of loss, and make sure Grogar never has a reason to come back. But this year there's a new member of the party: Apple Bloom, who has spent the past decade either in a mental asylum or living as a reclusive conspiracy magazine writer. Her appearance is a surprise, though welcome. When asked what made her decide to finally come, Apple Bloom tells the main element of the story: how she went back to Ponyville one more time.
When I reviewed the first story, I made a stink of how I didn't agree with the twist ending. It struck me as more dumb than anything, as twist endings for horrors almost always do. But I have to give Jade Ring credit; they took that ending and not only ran with it for the sequels, but used it to make the sequels more effective. Here we get to watch as Apple Bloom gets to encounter some familiar faces who help her get through the night and herself, and it works remarkably well. That being said, I really don't feel like these are 'horrors' anymore. Thriller, okay, maybe, but not horror. Which is by no means a problem; I feel that moving away from the B-movie horror style of the first story allows the two sequels to have a significant uptick in value.
Although the story does still possess a few silly issues. For example, there's the never-ending logical contradiction of Celestia's rules surrounding Grogar. Essentially, Celestia has mandated that Grogar's existence be stricken from all records and never brought up, on the basis that if nobody's heard of him then he can't harm anyone. This is, of course, the opposite of the truth, as shown by how he's repeatedly over the course of the series attacked ponies who did not, in fact, know anything about him. Also, let's not forget that Grogar's entire schtick in this series is to attack ponies who neglect the purpose of the season, which logically means that everypony should know and be terrified of him by default because there's exactly no way Grogar isn't attacking some grinchy pony somewhere in Equestria every year like clockwork. The story seems incapable of rectifying these contradictory elements and indeed makes no effort to try, as given by how the story ends with Apple Bloom writing a retelling of the Ponyville Massacre as an upcoming bestselling book with no indication whatsoever of Celestia's intent to stop her.
Watch where you step, there are plot holes everywhere.
Still, if you can ignore those issues and focus on the author's intent, this isn't a bad story. On the contrary, I rather enjoyed it. It's an effective combination of "the spirit of the season" and "fear the Spirit of the season". I particularly like how the ending paints this image of a happy family and yet also manages to showcase how it's all an illusion born of fright and past experiences. I also appreciate how much more mature this story is from the original, being more effective in its themes and purpose. If nothing else, I can confirm that Jade Ring's methods have improved, and that's always high praise in my book.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Apple Valley: A Hearth's Warming Horror Story — Pretty Good
Grogar: A Hearth's Warming Horror Story — Worth It
Ghost Lights
108,563 Words
By Winston
Sequel to Seashell
Published September 2014
Alternative Title: A Feather in the Wind
It's been twelve year since Royal Guard Sunburst saw the suffering of her liege and worked through words to get Princess Twilight Sparkle and Guard Captain Rainbow Dash to admit their feelings for one another. Sunburst is now among the longest serving of Twilight's personal guard, well respected and viewed as something of a friend by the princess. One day she gets called into Rainbow Dash's office: she's getting offered a third shot at the Seawall. It's a dream come true, with only one caveat: if she accepts, she has to take Princess Twilight's beloved student Azure Sky with her.
It may sound odd to those who know and love Seashell, but I was looking forward to rereading this far more. It's everything I recalled it being and maybe even more.
Once again told purely from the pegasus Sunburst's perspective, this is a complex tale: one part friendshipping between OCs, one part coming of age story, and one part self-discovery. The previous story was mostly Sunburst talking about Twilight and Rainbow Dash, with little real attention paid to Sunburst herself. Azure Sky was there too, providing some critical insights but largely just a cute filly side-character. And of course, there was the Seawall, which only appeared in one chapter but served as a startlingly strong hook.
This story sets out to do some things the previous one never bothered with, starting by being set almost entirely at the Seawall. No longer is it some mythical place we barely visit. Rather, the Seawall serves as a central figure of the story, a place of isolation and solitude where two ponies can be themselves and escape the demands of the lives they had back in civilization. Next to that, we get to explore who Sunburst is; her history, her family, and her fears. Alongside her is Azure Sky, daughter of Rarity (I knew it!), Twilight's Most Faithful Student, and a mare with a lot of questions about her future. All three topics are explored in detail. More than that, they each build upon one another, experiences and subjects and ideas supporting our two MCs growth both individually and as a pair.
The story is a slow burn, but not nearly as much so as its predecessor. Every chapter introduces something important. Sometimes you won't realize that what you're seeing has any value for the future, but a dozen or even two dozen chapters later something will pop up and, wow, Winston found a way to make that one moment matter to the big picture after all. It's one of the things this story excels at and other authors could learn a thing or two from.
The subject matter is varied, but centers on Azure Sky's sense of being trapped in the direction her mother, her teacher and fate in general has assigned to her. Sunburst gets the opportunity to be a teacher herself, and in so doing begins exploring some of the failures of her own life as a pegasus from an almost exclusively earth pony town, to say nothing for her love of solitude (still my pony). There will be discussions of parent problems, raven chases, flying marathons, explosions of feathers, learning to appreciate the earth pony perspective, feathers kept in books, standing stones, distant towers, the language of flowers, the bravery of clams, funerals for pegasi, and of course, ghost lights. It might all seem unrelated at times, but that's not the case at all.
It bears reiterating: this is a complex story. But it all comes together in the end to make for a magical, even emotional tale of healing and self-improvement.
Sunburst remains one of my favorite OCs of the fandom, and Ghost Lights remains a great story. I was so happy to get back to it, and I would love if someday Winston decided to publish this in book form as he did with Seashell last year. This is a story that I would be happy to have on my physical bookshelf.
Bookshelf: Why Haven't You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Seashell (Review I) — WHYRTY?
Strategic — Pretty Good
Born in Equestria — Worth It
First — Worth It
Scent of Roses — Needs Work
The Haunting at Buckwheat Manor
17,042 Words
By NorrisThePony
Requested by Rambling Writer
Published December 2022
Ponies thought Shady Fortune was mad when he spent his inheritance on Buckwheat Manor. Located well outside the city limits of the little town of Sundown, the plantation home has been abandoned for nearly seven decades. But Shady is an ambitious pony, and confident he can turn the place into a warm, welcoming home once again. He never expected an old tenant of the manor to object.
As one who has a ‘thing’ for spooky stuff, I found this to be a delight. As you might expect, the story follows Shady as his first night in his new home is interrupted by a poltergeist that very much doesn’t want him there. What follows is some pretty solid haunting experiences as he tries to figure out what to do about this. As you may expect from the cover art, our little ghostie isn’t as terrifying as she might want Shady to think. When we finally get around to learning about Perennial Buckwheat’s history, we end up with a tale one part tragic and one part touching.
This was a solid story from start to finish. The hauntings and Shady’s manner of dealing with them were nicely done, leaving this constant sense that the ghost is aggressive but not necessarily dangerous. The big confrontation is telling, the final solution predictable but welcome regardless. The conclusion felt warmhearted, and I couldn’t help but feel delight for Perennial’s well-deserved conclusion, even if I felt a little sorry for Shady over it.
17,000 words might seem like a lot, but I can assure you that NorrisThePony used the length well. Nothing felt unnecessary, the writing style is effectively vivid without going overboard, and the text is remarkably clean (one instance of “miracolous” amusingly excepted). On the whole, I have nothing to complain about; this is about as solid a ghost story as one could ever hope to find. I am more than happy to recommend it.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Dusk Falls — WHYRTY?
You Could Feel the Sky — Pretty Good
Synthetic Bottled Sunlight — Pretty Good
Constants — Worth It
Palimpsest — Worth It
Something terrible has happened. Truly awful! Yet the farm ponies think they might have a solution. It’s devious and maybe a little mean, but if it means saving their collective businesses then it will be worth it.
Berry Punch wishes her friends weren’t such knuckleheads.
This story opens with the reveal that Ponyville is accustomed to having 20% better-than-perfect weather, which can be credited 100% to Rainbow Dash. When she’s out of town, Ponyvillians have to suffer from only 90-95% good weather. In short, Rainbow has spoiled the town with her incredible talent as a weatherpony.
Now there’s a new development, one that threatens to limit almost all of Ponyville to just “very good” weather: Applejack has declared her intention to date Rainbow Dash. Technically, she did this at a private lunch with the rest of her friends, but the flower mares overheard and are in full panic mode. If Applejack and Rainbow start dating, Applejack will surely get to hog all the better-than-perfect weather from now on, and what will that mean for the other farm ponies’ crops? So now Carrot Top, Daisy, Lily, Roseluck and Junebug are putting together a plan to ruin Applejack’s chances with everypony’s favorite weathermare.
The story is told in two parts. The first is Applejack getting help from her friends (especially Fluttershy) regarding what to do for a first date with (an as-yet unasked) Rainbow Dash, and then her attempts to prepare for said date. The second part is Berry Punch, herself one of Ponyville’s farm-mares, listening to her friends’ scheming.
Berry was my favorite part of this story. A recovering alcoholic, she’s a very down-to-earth mare and thus understands that her friends’ worries and panicking is all pointless, if not outright stupid. Essentially serving as the story’s straight mare, I enjoyed her reactions to everypony’s behavior more than anything else in this story. The way she reacts to Applejack’s trademark neighborly good behavior was a great final touch.
The shipping is nice too, of course. The initial conversation between Applejack, Twilight, Pinkie and Fluttershy is fun. Fluttershy’s pleasantly thorough and helpful knowledge of Rainbow’s interests, Applejack’s and Twilight’s lack of “ladylike behavior” as Rarity puts it, and (perhaps most fun of all) Rarity’s swooping in to snatch up a surprised Fluttershy were all entertaining. Then of course we’ve got Applejack’s confession with Rainbow, which is hardly the romantic encounter Rarity might have wanted but was a warm-hearted event regardless.
A bit simple and straightforward, but an endearing story overall. Seeing Berry Punch treated seriously and in a manner I’m unaccustomed to helped a lot. This was definitely one of the better stories I’ve read by this author so far.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Pick Me Up At Seven — Pretty Good
Since When Were You So Playful? — Worth It
Getting Dressed — Worth It
The Last Apples of Autumn
571 Words
By CristalGalaxy
Published January 2016
Applejack goes hunting for Apples.
The capitalization isn't a typo. Every time CristalGalaxy uses the word "apple" they feel the need to capitalize it. Which is weird, but I get what they were going for; apparently Applejack really is all about Apples.
This was meant to be scenery porn and a look at the daily, joyful life of Applejack. Unfortunately, scenery porn only works if you've got a solid grasp of how to write it, and CristalGalaxy clearly does not. The story is self-contradicting (she slammed her hooves on the window and galloped downstairs at the same time that she took things slow so as to not wake her family up), certain elements of the plot make no sense (where'd the buckets come from why is she going to the market without a stall or money or anything at all and why is she assuming that all the remaining apples of the season are on this single solitary tree and—), the formatting is terrible (CristalGalaxy can't decide between double-spacing and single-spacing, and may not know what a paragraph is), and the grammar is a work in progress (okay, you can stop using commas now, there's this thing called a "period").
Also and not the author's fault: for some reason the final wordcount of the "whole story" (all one chapter of it) is 571 words, even though the only chapter has 1,000 words in it exactly. I used to think this kind of thing only happened in the opposite direction. I understand even less about FIMFiction's automated wordcount system than I thought.
This failed to do anything for me. I can see a strong author being able to wordsmith this, but CristalGalaxy just isn't there yet.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
As The Feathers Blow Away — Needs Work
SweetieMashMinecraftAdventures YAY! — Needs Work
No
1,178 Words
By Just A Random Pegasus
Published April 2016
Garble has no idea how to court females.
This one is short and simple: after getting his butt kicked by Ember and Spike in the Gauntlet of Fire, Garble has realized that newly crowned Dragon Lord Ember is, quote, “hot” and decides to try picking her up. This goes… poorly.
This one earns its random tag, in that nothing really happens. I wouldn’t even call it a “story” so much as a sequence of events. Half of it is spent explaining why Ember and Garble are in the same general location and the other half is Garble being dense, albeit not in a humorous way. There are ways this idea could be made funny, but playing it straight like this doesn’t do anything for me.
I suppose if you’re the sort who can find an event funny by its inherent existence then you may get something out of it. Me, I was hoping for a bit more.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Closing Time — Needs Work
And Yet We Still Heal
4,151 Words
By RedHoodie21
Published December 2024
Thea Sullivan and Sunset travel across the desert landscape of Utah looking for any sign of the Sirens. For Thea, this is extremely awkward.
This one is set in an AU known as the Roaring 1920’s, which re-imagines FiM in 1920’s America. This alone was enough to make me jump on it, because I adore Tullilok’s and Bixel’s character re-designs. I don’t actually follow the AU on their Tumblr though, so I am by no means aware of everything going on in it.
Exactly what’s going on in this story is unclear. We know Thea (AKA Twilight Sparkle) has left on a cross-country journey with Sunset and that they’re searching for the Sirens (although only Adagio Dazzle is specifically named). Why they’re travelling by horseback and not a car is unclear save that Sunset is clearly a Hispanic (and trans) cowgirl; maybe RedHoodie21 just wanted an excuse for them to be camping in the desert wilderness together? It may also be possible that Sunset simply refuses to go anywhere without Shimmer (in the AU, there is no “Sunset Shimmer”, there is Sunset and her horse, Shimmer).
At any rate, the story is exceedingly simple, mostly involving Thea trying to endear herself to Sunset somehow and generally demonstrating her dorkiness in the process. That Sunset is deliciously rugged doesn’t make the situation any easier for her (no doubt she enjoys riding in the same saddle though).
This isn’t anywhere near as purple prose-y as the last story I read by this author, but there’s definitely some uselessly flowery descriptions going on in some parts. The most notable instance comes when RedHoodie21 feels the insatiable need to describe Thea’s breakfast in the same way a harlequin romance author might describe a night of sex. But again, nowhere near as bad as my first experience with this author, such that there’s a lot more focus on the events and mood setting. RedHoodie21 still has issues with typos, missing words, and other such things though, which severely hinder the effectiveness of their prose; you shouldn’t try to paint a masterpiece when you still can’t draw a straight line (yes, I know that metaphor is inaccurate, but you get the point).
All in all, this was fun, even if it was little more than “Twilight Sparkle embarrasses herself around her crush” in a fancy setting (oh, hey, that’s two of those in the same blog, I didn’t even notice until now). If that sounds like your kind of thing, there’s no reason not to give it a go.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Magic Disagrees — Worth It
Bonus Review: It Devours!
347 Pages
By Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor
Published 2017
Welcome to Night Vale, where the sun is loud and hot, strange lights dance above the Arby’s, and wheat and wheat byproducts are banned. Nilanjana Sikdar is a relatively new face in Night Vale, a scientist who came into town four years ago and still hasn’t quite figured it out. Well, we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. She works for Night Vale’s premier scientist, Carlos. One day, Carlos calls her into his office with a special order: she is not to investigate the House That Doesn’t Exist. Nils sees this as a golden opportunity to impress the man she respects more than anyone.
This is, without question, a story intended for fans of Night Vale, which is to say that it is strange in wild, silly ways. For those of you uninitiated, Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast that tells of the fictional Texas town where all conspiracy theories are true and everyone is quite accustomed to this weirdness. The Sheriff’s Secret Police compete with agents from vague-yet-menacing government agencies to monitor your every move. The City Council is a vast, single-bodied-multi-personed entity of apparent menace that somehow always finds a way to be on vacation when things go wrong. The former mayor likes to hold press conferences even if there’s no reason to hold one and almost always speaks through a bullhorn. It is always and will always be the birthday of local movie star Lee Marvin. The weather reports have very little to say about the weather but a lot to say about the facts of life.
And, of course, we all can spend the end of our days listening to the soothing, sonorous voice of Cecil Palmer, the Voice of Night Vale, who guides us along the ominous and frightening world with good cheer and a pleasant reassurance that no matter how strange things get, we’ll all still be here in the morning.
In the midst of this setting is this book’s adventure, in which Nilanjana is tasked with investigating the House That Doesn’t Exist. It looks like it exists. Like, it’s right there when you look at it, and it’s between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not, but it doesn’t actually exist. Carlos once went inside that house, and he promptly disappeared for a year. What he went through in there was a torture he speaks of to no one, not even his loving husband Cecil. He’s been investigating the house in the name of preventing anyone else from going through what he did, but the City Council is ardently against this and is interrupting his experiments. Thus does Carlos task Nilanjana with continuing the investigation in his stead, theorizing that the government won’t be looking so closely at her as they are him.
There are a number of themes going on with this story, but it seems the primary one is the risks of blind faith. From the outset, this appears to be related to blind faith in religion, owing to Nilanjana’s investigation into the Church of the Smiling God and her affair with one of its most prominent members, Darryl. Indeed, the Church plays a pivotal role in the story’s events. This is hardly surprising; the Church of the Smiling God has long been one of Night Vale’s villainous enterprises, although exactly what they were after was never clear in the podcast. This book shines light on this mysterious organization at last. Yet as villainous as certain elements of the Church are, when the ending comes along we realize that blind faith in science is no less destructive. As with anything in Night Vale, what appears to be happening on the surface is never the whole truth, and is sometimes leading you in the complete wrong direction.
Aside from a multifaceted theme, one should bear in mind that this is a Night Vale story for Night Vale fans. The pages are dripping with references from the podcast, from the Glow Cloud (all hail) to John Peters (you know, the farmer?) to Steve Carlsberg (ugh!). (Surprisingly, no Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, but she got her own book so I guess that’s okay.) We learn about strange otherworlds and Big Rico’s Pizza and Dark Owl Records. Kevin cameos, Josh Crayton saves lives, and Sheriff Sam shoots at things. Nilanjana gets to spend a night at the Secret Police Secret Prison (with free HBO and a four-star rating on Yelp!), Larry Leroy gets devoured, and Erika asks for a handout. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Get used to it, because if you don’t know Night Vale this will all be silly gobbledegook. This doesn’t mean non-Night Vale listeners can’t read the book, it just means that you’re going to have to get used to rolling with it; I really can’t reiterate enough how Night Vale is a strange place.
The most amazing thing of all is how Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor manage to create an easy-to-follow story with clear themes and purpose out of all the crazy, and it can at times be quite meaningful. As strange as Nilanjana’s story is, it is still a story about people, with clear character growth. The main plot is actually really easy to follow, to the point that you’ll likely predict the real problem long before Nilanjana herself does – because for all the illogical nonsense that happens in Night Vale, cause and effect is still a thing.
I for one loved this story, it was like a baseball bat of nostalgia applied directly to my brain. Of course, that makes me biased, and I can’t vouch for the story’s reach beyond fans of Night Vale. You have to be willing to roll with the weird, except instead of a quick dodge roll this is getting inside a tire and rolling it down the side of a mountain. If you can accept that, you’ll probably have a lot of fun.
I’m putting this one on the middle ground. I adore Night Vale in general and I love how the authors play with unconventional ideas to hide a straightforward tale. Yet I am aware that my love is due to bias, and the sheer strangeness of the world of Night Vale may make it a turn off for many potential (or at least uninitiated) readers. As such, I think it’s only fair that it gets recommended with conditionals.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Time:
Mother Knows Best by slep
On an Empty Stomach by Lil Penpusher
Her Shimmering Sunset by Soufriere
The Blueblood Papers: Old Blood by Raleigh
Princess Celestia Hates Tea by Skywriter
Home Is Where the Hearts Are by Violet CLM
Meat and Bone, Sinew and Bile by RB_
Moonlight by JasonTheHuman
The taste of karma, pure and uncooked by Element of Malice
Time and Yuletide by Darkstarling
Recent Review Map:
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXX
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXI
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXIII – mushroompone Edition
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXV
You Are Here
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXVII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXVIII
Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXIX
TBD
TBD
The Archive
(Hint: use Ctrl+F to search for stories or authors!)
Da Rules!
(Follow this link to learn how I schedule these blogs, rules for requests, and more!)
Other Reviewers:
abrony-mouse
Ghost Mike
Louder Yay!
PresentPerfect
TCC56
Reading Progress:
A Duet For Land And Sky
85.60% (108,733 / 127,028)
Urban Wilds
63.75% (48,099 / 75,448)
Blogs Completed Through:
21-AUG-2025
(Blogs are currently scheduled up to this date. Any requests made as of this blog will have to wait until at least after this date.
Need some editing done? Working on a story and not sure how it’s shaping up? I’m now doing editing and critique commissions! Check here for more information and PM me if interested.
Like these reviews? Care to support me in the work? Consider donating to my Ko-fi!
No arguments from me on adding publication dates to the reviews!
One further suggestion: it may be worth adding ranges for multi-chapter fics published across months (e.g. "Published August 2013-May 2015). It'll give further clarity for readers on what to except and then-show/fandom context.
As for putting the self-written blurb in quotes, hm. My own could read messily and not flow the best into the actual review at times. Might consider something like that myself, for the rare future irregular editions of Monday Musings. Won’t decide anything lightly, mind.
Administrative stuff:
I like inclusion of the publication date. It adds context and could even help clarify which version you read if an author revises.
I have mixed feelings about the synopsis quotes. I was never confused or annoyed by your old format, and the new one is more confusing to me since those look exactly like any story excerpts you’re quoting.
Story stuff:
I’ve read “The Haunting of Buckwheat Manor” and also liked it a lot. I helped the author clean up a lot of the editing stuff, but I never looked back over the final version, so I don’t know whether the author cleared up the few plot points that felt off. Norris is a solid author anyway.
Thank you for the second-pass review of Ghost Lights! I'm glad it still holds up in your eyes.
It is indeed a story I've considered printing, although I have another project lined up first that I'm really pushing hard to have it in time for the Book Nook at Everfree Northwest this year. Not sure if I want to give it the rewrite treatment that I did when I printed Seashell, or just print it as-is... but a choice like that where both options are pretty good is a good problem to have, I think.
Thank you for the review of my story. To be fair, I remember how back then everyone told me that my story telling style was way too telly, something I've only really gotten out of recently. Fluttershy is dead ends up being a pretty predictable story because of it (Unless you want to follow along with the murder which is its only saving grace I'd say) and like you mentioned, childish which is interesting considering most of my other works.
Anywho, I thank you once more and if you end up reviewing more stories of mine in the future, I hope to one day make it to the WHYRTY category...
5848508
Yeah, I tweaked some stuff based on your suggestions because yours is an opinion I respect on the matter. Nothing major, just the sequencing of certain events during the initial haunting.
Thanks for the review, Paul. I'm decently proud of Buckwheat and the warm response it's gotten. It was one I had little to no trouble writing in two or three marathon writing sessions, which is not something I do often.
I think what happened was that, in the past, the total wordcount of a story updated only when a new chapter was published, but the wordcount of a single chapter updated whenever it was edited, so if you edited a chapter without publishing a new one, that could cause the sum of wordcounts across all chapters to not be the same as the "total" wordcount. If they tried to publish the story at 571 words, ran afoul of the site's 1k minimum, and then edited the chapter to bring it up, that might cause the discrepancy. (I think that's been updated so the wordcount of a story gets updated with every chapter publish or edit.)
The Haunting at Buckwheat Manor was a quinisentially pony ghost story, in that I have no trouble picturing it in the world Lauren Faust created. For the resolution to come via the lead character disabling his own defenses out of sympathy was just so unexpected and and thoroughly feel-good. Great story all around.
I like adding the dates, and I'd like it even more if it were a range like Mike suggested. The new intro paragraph is fine separated like this, but weird when the review also has quotes. You could try making it a bulleted list just so it's indented and marked, or maybe even centering the text or something, but as it is here, it's more confusing than it used to be. I didn't find the old way confusing either though.
>Paul reading Night Vale be like
In my defense, I was writing under considerable duress at the time.
I'm glad you liked 'For Goodness Sake' as much as you did. I'm the first to admit that it isn't as strong as I'd like it to be. There were elements from the aborted original sequel that I wanted to still be "canon" for lack of a better word. Apple Bloom in the asylum, the existence of Pence and Penny... it was finding a way to fit them in that reads most clunky to me. Looking at it now, I probably could have added a line or two during Diamond Tiara's opening that hinted at her excitement towards Button and Sweetie's foal that would foreshadow her finding happiness as a mother later on.
It's Apple Bloom's flashback that makes the whole endeavor worth it for me. I'm particularly fond of the image of the herd of foals keeping pace with her as she bolts through the woods, as well as Rarity's image shifting from normal to nightmare in the candlelight.
I'm flattered that you think I've improved so much, especially now that I'm winding down my fanfiction career.
Great review! If you ever run low, I've got 98 more I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on.
The Haunting at Buckwheat Manor and And Yet We Still Heal are the ones I've read. Both are rather nice, and I think I would've given the same ratings for them as you.
That ghost story is fantastic. I remember immensely enjoying its prose and language in a way my silly non-literary brain couldn't convey but felt deep in my soul. Can't explain it and don't want to. Just go read it!
And the Grand Galloping 20s story...I'll admit, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. Such variety in skin tones and sexuality (in the worldview, not the story) gives me headaches from time to time, but the rich culture and the scenery, traditional outfits, food, kept my interest piqued. As for the story, still enjoyable! I don't actually remember much about it and I'm getting kinda tired of shipping SunLight, but the language was pretty fancy for me to enjoy it like a piece of artwork.
See you next time!
5848504 5848508 5848555
Well from just three people so far, it looks like there's a consensus that the dates are a big improvement worth keeping. The style of my opening blurbs, on the other hand, are more of a mixed bag.
I considered centering, but that struck me as too jarring, and bullet points wouldn't look good at all. I also considered using mono, which would certainly make things look different but might be a bit much. What I really wanted was justified text, but if FIMFiction supports that I couldn't find how to do it.
5848517
Honestly, after the re-read I think I like Ghost Lights more than Seashell.
Oh, they're doing the Book Nook again? Maybe when I finish my current projects I can try for that this year. I wanted to last year but just didn't have the time/energy/motivation. Hell, I should actually try to go to Everfree Northwest sometime, just to remind people that I have a face other than a monitor screen
5848518
Perhaps I'll get the chance to read something more recent by you in the future. Seeing authors improve their skillset is one of the greater pleasures of being a reviewer.
5848521
I know that feeling! Always nice when a story comes together so smoothly and quickly, yes?
5848525
Ah, good to know! I've been making it a point lately to have my stated wordcounts be the "Total Wordcount", even if the actual chapters disagree. The fact that they do disagree sometimes has always mystified me.
5848555
I think I'd say it's more like:
5848557
Those were indeed effective images, and highlights of the story.
You and so many others! Alas, I have only so much time in my day.
5848592
You should definitely come to EFNW!
Registrations for the Book Nook are open now, until July 14. Vic Fontaine is running it, see here: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1070181/twilights-book-nook-returns-to-efnw-2025
5848597
See, I live in Japan so I'm not allowed to see anime. literally everything related to anime is kinda blocked on youtube here. It's ridiculous.
Heyo, glad you found Norris's story. It's one of my fave's on here.