Story Reviews » Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCLXXXIII – mushroompone Edition · 10:51pm May 1st
Hello again, FIMFiction! Time for another round of reviews from yours truly. Today we’re doing an Author Spotlight, which I’m trying to do every fifth review blog now. Today’s author: mushroompone, who first caught my attention with their superb semi-spooky isolation tale Radio Waves and then again with their creep-tastic RariJack The Haunting of Carousel Boutique. Since then they have consistently entertained me with their works, so I figured it was high time I indulged in their wider library. As always, the reviews span the length of mushroom’s FIMFiction career, from their very first story on the site to their most recent work (although the stories are presented here in alphabetical order).
But before that happens, we must first get to this week’s Long Story. Which happens to be by FIMFiction royalty Cold in Gardez, so you know it’s gonna be a treat!
I’ve no intention of making you (or mushroom!) wait any longer, so let us get to the reviews.
Stories for This Week:
Salvation by Cold in Gardez
Ciders at the Edge of Equestria by mushroompone
Debt to Society by mushroompone
Everything Turns Around by mushroompone
I need to hit something by mushroompone
Laws of Motion by mushroompone
Spirits of the Season by mushroompone
Sun in an Empty Room by mushroompone
Symbiosis by mushroompone
Threshold by mushroompone
Total Word Count: 278,257
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 4
Worth It: 4
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Salvation
155,336 Words
By Cold in Gardez
It’s been six months since the funeral when Rarity stumbles upon Rainbow Dash in Fillydephia. Despite all Rainbow’s efforts to put up a cool façade, Rarity is far too observant. Rainbow desperately needs help, she’s too stubborn to seek it out herself, and Rarity isn’t going to stand by and do nothing. Thus, her proposal: they both go back to Ponyville to visit old friends and reconnect. With luck, their friends will notice what Rarity has and join in the effort. So long as none of them notice just how much Rarity herself is suffering…
Whew, was this a heavy one. Filled with pathos and graphic sex, it brings together Rarity and Rainbow Dash in a battle of wills, each trying to help the other and each too stubborn to readily accept said help. The story is set nearly a decade after the events of the show (with the caveat that this was first published in 2012, although CiG adapted later chapters so that the story follows canon up to at least Twilight’s Kingdom). Rainbow Dash left Ponyville to join the Wonderbolts and tour the country, legally moving to Cloudsdale despite never really staying there for longer than a week at a time. Rarity also left Ponyville, moving to Fillydelphia to pursue her ambitions as a fashion magnate. Today both are wondering if these moves weren’t a grave mistake.
The story alternates between Rarity’s and Rainbow’s perspectives, starting with Rarity’s. We learn that she’s become something of a whore these days, going around hunting rugged stallions who might temporarily substitute for the prince she knows she’ll never have. Her life is an endless series of one-night stands, all serving as a distraction from a grave sin she committed in the name of her career. The result of all this is that Rarity has an abysmal opinion of herself and is terrified of what might happen if any of her old friends in Ponyville discover what she’s been up to these last few years.
Contrast that with Rainbow Dash. She enjoyed life with the Wonderbolts, but the high point was Soarin, with whom she’d formed an intimate romantic bond. But then there was the accident… and the funeral. The loss has torn Dash up inside, so much so that she hasn’t flown in months. Worse, she is visibly, physically atrophying. Rainbow is in a death spiral of grief, and Rarity is determined to help her get out of it.
The end result is something intense. Cold in Gardez is pulling no punches with this one, vividly showcasing everything from Rarity’s prolific sex life to the actual event that killed Soarin and put Rainbow in a hospital for weeks. While all the Mane Six do their own little things to help out with the ongoing, highly personal disaster, this is clearly Rainbow’s and Rarity’s show. The two of them will go to extreme lengths to help one another, not all of them well-advised and some morally questionable.
In the meantime, we’ve got a whole host of characters on the side to help them along. As stated above, the rest of the Mane Six are present and their lives have evolved quite a bit despite them still living in Ponyville. We’ve got Fluttershy married to Big Mac and very pregnant. I love how CiG was able to show how much she’s grown into a self-confident, reassured mare without sacrificing who she is as a character. Applejack hasn’t changed much, but she didn’t need to; she’s the same moral bedrock that the others need to lean on in times of crisis. Twilight Sparkle is a full-fledged princess yet is still the same adorkable pony we all know and love, complete with approaching love through nerdery and needing at last four cups of coffee just to start her day. And Pinkie is… Well. She’s Pinkie.
Aside from them, we’ve got other supporting characters, some more than others. Sweetie Belle is the standout here, well on her way to starting a singing career despite not quite being a legal adult. This Sweetie is mature and happy to look out for her big sister, even when said big sister makes that hard. Her daily banter with Rarity was frequently a highlight of any given chapter, especially when we get to Rarity’s determined efforts to figure out who Sweetie’s mysterious coltfriend is (a running joke from start to finish). Most of the other characters that show up are cameos, such as Scootaloo (still a RD fangirl, though not so blatant about it anymore) and Apple Bloom (perhaps the only Apple in history to not have a cutie mark related to either apples or farming in general), and Pipsqueak (who is ever such a charming young gentlecolt). Cameos or no, every side character brings a fresh warmth and vitality to the story and help evolve things for Rainbow and Rarity in one way or another.
Then there are the dream sequences, which may be the only things that bug me. Oh, not the sequences themselves, but rather the lore behind them. While I’ll admit that it may be going overboard to think that Luna is the only being in the world able to enter dreams, it really struck me as odd that when Rarity and Rainbow go to Twilight to inquire about them nopony thinks to ask, y’know, the undisputed world expert on the subject. Indeed, Twilight even seems to imply that Luna only dabbled in the subject rather than being a lifelong practitioner. It was really odd and I kind of felt a little offended on Best Pony’s behalf.
The dream sequences themselves though? Very nicely done.
There is the issue of the sexuality. There are multiple sex scenes and all of them are graphic. Yet Cold in Gardez didn’t throw them in there for titillation’s sake; each sex scene has an underlying purpose, giving us a window into the characters’ current mental state. For example, there is a distinct difference between the first individual sex scenes for Rainbow and Rarity, one demonstrating Rainbow’s playful enjoyment and budding romance while the other comes down hard with Rarity’s self-loathing nature and how her sexual interactions are little more than a barely-functional balm for her secret agonies. It’s a rare example of how sex scenes can be used to enhance a story, and I applaud Cold in Gardez for not only taking the risk but pulling it off.
Ultimately, this becomes a story about healing and self-forgiveness. It’s also a RariDash, which is not a ship I typically endorse. Cold in Gardez proves more than capable enough of an author to make it work, mostly by having these two go through hell together in their respective efforts to save one another’s souls. I also greatly appreciate the reminders that even if the relationship does end up not working after the story, it was still a great step for the both of them on the path to healing.
All in all, I greatly enjoyed this. It quickly and easily became my favorite thing to read. It’s yet another example of why Cold in Gardez is one of the site’s premier authors.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Last Trumpet's Call — WHYRTY?
For Whom We Are Hungry — WHYRTY?
The Archetypist — WHYRTY?
The Destruction of the Self — Pretty Good
The Instruments of Our Surrender — Pretty Good
Ciders at the Edge of Equestria
1,943 Words
By mushroompone
Lyra, Bon-Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Ditzy have made a journey to the edge of Equestria. Why? Because eternal night has come, and they feel like it.
That whole ‘edge of Equestria’ thing? It’s legit. These mares travel to a literal edge of the world, from which you can see naught but stars as a cliff drops down below you to infinity. Here the mares choose to settle down, have some ciders, and just talk. About what? About the future, which may or may not be one of eternal night as Nightmare Moon does her thing.
I find it highly amusing that Vinyl Scratch is still wearing her shades despite the whole, y’know, eternal night thing. Apparently she’s able to see just fine with them regardless. Must be a unicorn thing.
This is a quiet piece in which five teenage friends try to find peace and reassurance in one another in the face of turbulent change. It’s pleasant, and somehow fails to be gloomy despite being set in what, from the mares’ perspectives, might be considered an end-of-the-world event. It was nice to see these five shoring themselves up with the power of friendship.
A pleasant little story with a sunny (pun intended) theme. I think my only issue with it is how the narrative breaks the fourth wall at once point, but it was only the one time and is not a big deal in the grand scheme of the tale. Give it a go if you want to see some old fan favorites in a slightly different light (uh, pun not intended that time).
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Radiowaves — WHYRTY?
The Haunting of Carousel Boutique — WHYRTY?
The Head — WHYRTY?
The Architect's Wings — Pretty Good
How to Farm Rocks (in three easy steps) — Pretty Good
Debt to Society
9,959 Words
By mushroompone
Scootaloo used to live a good life, working at Twilight's school in Canterlot. But then there was an incident. Now she's back in Ponyville, working a crummy job at a video rental store. Which isn't what bothers her. No, what bothers her are the visions, the smells, the sounds. Are they hallucinations? Perhaps. Or maybe they are memories.
Let's get it out of the way: this is a Rainbow Factory fic. It's not clear if it's meant to be set in the original AU or not – there are some elements that appear to be clear discrepancies, but they're only vaguely discussed so they might not be. [Pre-Post Edit: After some thought I realize that this can’t possibly be the original AU of AuroraDawn’s Rainbow Factory.] Either way, it runs under the premise that the Rainbow Factory was shut down when Scootaloo was little and the general public still doesn't know it as anything more than a legend. Granted, the factory exists, but it is abandoned and the story of what it did appears to have been covered up. Scootaloo is all grown up now, but for some reason she's started having nightmares about the Rainbow Factory, which she's confident she's never actually been to before.
One day while at work with Rumble, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon show up alerting them that something has landed on the store's sidewalk and needs to be cleaned up. They go to investigate, only to discover that it is actually a bit of pony flesh. Coincidentally, Cloudsdale's weather factory happens to have just passed overhead. It takes some time, but eventually we get to the point of Scoots, Rumble, Diamond, and Silver investigating the abandoned factory.
This was a curious one. It doesn't jump into the dangers immediately, instead allowing a general creepiness to pervade the story with hints of what could be. mushroom makes some adjustments to the AU's lore which, speaking strictly from a vividness standpoint, does wonders to up the ick factor. There are some other deviations as well, the story avoiding the nonsensical bits of the original and keeping the threat limited strictly to the equine element. AuroraDawn once mentioned to me that the factory itself was meant to be a sort of nonsensical, living abomination of a machine, cryptic in its methods and possibly even alive its own way. It really feels like mushroom chose to do away with that in favor of something more down-to-earth. Which is by no means a bad thing; what we get is disturbing enough on its own.
While I didn't enjoy this as much as I have other works by this author, it still has those great elements of Showing over Tell, intense character moments, and a solid sense of atmosphere all around. Fans of the Rainbow Factory will definitely want to give it a go.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Everything Turns Around
4,037 Words
By mushroompone
Things are going wrong. Maud knows it. Everypony does. She races through the wetlands looking for something, but that search is broken when a powerful storm looms overhead. Fortunately, Night Glider of Search & Rescue is there to guide her to a nearby shelter. Now they and Minuette must ride out the storm together.
This was a surprising little piece. It’s set in an Equestria where magic has, for some unknowable reason, begun to fade all across Equestria. All the races are impacted, and fear for the future is at an all-time high. Maud, hoping to help in her own way, has been searching for magical rocks for study, but with her innate magics weaker than ever it’s been a frustrating effort.
Then we have Night Glider. Night Glider knows what it’s like to have your special talent robbed from you. She never wants to experience it again, and thus lives in ardent denial of what is happening.
Last but not least, we’ve got Minuette, whose special talent involves understanding the flows and moods of time. This allows her to know the future, if only in a nebulous and vague sort of way. Minuette can’t say how or when, but she knows one thing: everything gets better eventually.
And that’s the whole point of this story: the bad times never last. Eventually, be it in days or years or generations, the tides will turn and all will be right again. It’s a very upbeat message, but also a realistic one in that it’s not saying that things aren’t bad or can’t become bad.
There are a few quirks in the writing of the story. Sentences that aren’t actually sentences, or contradictory statements following shortly after one another (how can Night Glider be bored and desperate in the same instant?).If you can get past those issues though, you may want to read this for its optimistic message. mushroom isn’t playing games with this one: we know what the point is clearly and directly, and I like it for that.
The issues prevent me from putting it on a higher bookshelf, but this one was a nice read regardless.
Bookshelf: Worth It
I need to hit something
3,606 Words
By mushroompone
Rainbow Dash shows up at Sweet Apple Acres in the middle of the night with an urgent desire to lash out at something. Applejack, tired and thus grouchy, eventually lets her into the barn to go to town on some hay bales. While that’s going on, she has to wonder just what’s got her pegasus friend in such a furious state.
This is a fine slice-of-life story in which Rainbow Dash and Applejack bond over… Well, that would be spoilers. It’s a very short story, but not a simple one. We’ve got Rainow being stubborn and refusing to talk about what’s got her so pissed off and Applejack being stubborn in her efforts to get answers. Fortunately, Applejack knows Rainbow, and that includes what buttons to push to get results.
This one is short and sweet, and somewhat touching in how it demonstrates the trust and general awareness Rainbow and Applejack have for one another. No, it’s not a ship fic, it’s just a look at their friendship. That's all it needed to be, and the mushroom did the job as well as one could hope.
A great story for those looking for a bit of AppleDash friendshipping.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Laws of Motion
24,790 Words
By mushroompone
You have to change. Because we know better than you. Because we outnumber you. Because only our way is the right way, and if you don't agree then you are the problem.
Spitfire stands firmly in the way and says, "No."
Set several years after the (canon) end of G4, this story reveals to us that there's some sort of "magic radiation" that is going to destroy the entire planet. The explanation is that all forms of magical use produce a tiny amount of waste which has for thousands of years been going into some sort of natural repository, but now that repository is filled to the brim. The magic has no place left to go, and so it is filling up the world and rendering it uninhabitable. To solve this problem, the princess have gone full tyrant and enacted strict laws banning magic use except in a few express purposes, and even those purposes are limited strictly to aid in the decided upon solution: all of the world's population being forcibly moved onto giant rocketships that will be flown to a new planet to inhabit (and probably destroy in a similar way a few thousand years from now). If you're like Spitfire and don't want to leave, tough shit: you don't get to choose. But Spitfire is stubborn enough to put an Apple to shame.
This story is composed of many layers, some of which may not be obvious at the start. It's one of those things where nobody is expressly right, but neither is anyone expressly wrong. The story opens being about how Spitfire is being forced by the government and the ponies she thought were her friends to abandon everything she knows in favor of what they think is better for her regardless of her feelings on the matter. She is eventually forced to go to "Destiny Counceling", where Dr. Apple Bloom tries to help her accept a new destiny, complete with a new cutie mark. This concept soon becomes the core element of the entire story as Spitfire, initially unwilling, finds herself forced to undergo it anyway due to her own stubbornness getting the better of her.
The process of destiny alteration is discussed broadly, an inexact science that explores what a pony could have been in another universe/timeline and applying that to them now. Plenty of ponies have experienced this before Spitfire and they all manage to make the most out of their new careers, mostly in the vein of helping out in the new space endeavor. Spitfire proves a highly unusual case, her own stubbornness directly altering her destiny in alarming and potentially self-defeating ways, but in so doing she helps Apple Bloom better comprehend the nature of destiny and cutie marks.
On top of all this is Spitfire's relationship with Fleetfoot, once her best friend and now a bitter enemy. Fleetfoot, more than any other pony, has been trying to hardest to force – and I do mean force – Spitfire to abandon everything she loves and embrace the new world (figuratively and literally). This drives a wedge between them that seems to all-out ruin their relationship. Yet, as Spitfire unintentionally explores more and more potential destinies, she'll come to realize that some friendships are just... Well, destiny.
My favorite aspect is that while Spitfire does eventually accept and make a change, she does it on her own terms and in a way that reveals to everyone that she was never really wrong. Misaligned? Perhaps. Poorly explained or misunderstood? Most definitely. But not wrong. It all ends with the reveal and acceptance that what she wants and what the rest of the world was trying to force her to be are not mutually exclusive, and thus an agreeable balance does exist if everyone would get over themselves for long enough to see it.
I've already said all that, and yet it somehow feels like I've barely scratched the surface. Apple Bloom has her own character arc that is heavily influenced by Spitfire's, just for example. This is a story that does a lot with its limited wordcount, and yet does so without feeling overwhelming or needlessly complex. There's also this feeling like mushroom was trying to use the narrative to sway the audience against Spitfire from the beginning only for it to change tracts later, the implication being that Spitfire has changed not just her fellow protagonists but the world in general. I love that. It leaves behind this idea that, yes, Spitfire needed to change, but so too did the world. Best of all, this new direction – for Spitfire and for everyone – is vastly more positive.
I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It did everything it needed to do – everything. It's stories like these that demonstrate why mushroom is one of the site's better writers.
Bookshelf: Why Haven't You Read These Yet?
Spirits of the Season
6,696 Words
By mushroompone
Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst aren’t big fans of the holidays and their gatherings. As such, they’ve come up with their own tradition: getting together to do whatever they feel like that isn’t part of holiday traditions. Starlight’s brilliant plan for this year? Visit a haunted house.
This was endearing, yet also kind of sad. The legends tell that there’s a house in ‘Old Ponyville’ where a pair of mares died and were so distraught by being unable to celebrate one last Hearth’s Warming that they come back every year to celebrate it. It’s the most ludicrous origin story for ghosts Starlight can think of , which only makes her want to investigate more. Sunburst claims not to believe in ghosts, but meh, he’ll go along. For Starlight.
Naturally, the ghosts are real, and their backstory is completely legit. Thus do we wind up with Starlight and Sunburst trapped in a haunted house having to – le gasp! – listen to holiday stories.
This is one of those stories that tries to amuse through sheer absurdity, but does that without being absurdly written. Whether that works or not will be up to individual interpretation. For me, it’s a silly bit of pony-style goofiness and didn’t need to be any more. That Starlight and Sunburst both learned a little lesson of sorts out of the deal was a nice touch.
Not what I’d call amazing, but I have nothing against an author wanting to write a short story ‘just because’. Give it a go if you feel like adding a little harmless ghost tomfoolery to your holidays.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Sun in an Empty Room
2,774 Words
By mushroompone
Zipp can't help but worry about the future. Sunny is concerned as well, but she knows that doesn't have to be the case.
This was an unexpected one. It opens with Zipp and Sunny in the abandoned airship station that Zipp uses as her secret lab, except it's not so secret anymore and it may actually start seeing some genuine use in the future. There are things changing in the world, beyond just the introduction of magic, and the potential hidden within them is worrying. Sunny tries to reassure her, even though she has to acknowledge the scary changes within her own life. And then we're in the past with Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash in the same station and having a discussion about the potential doom – or not – of their future.
It seems the entire point of this story is how everyone worries about the future and may be afraid of change to some degree, but the change doesn't have to be a bad thing. Added onto this is the idea of there always being good and bad ponies in any age and how it's alright to be worried, though we shouldn't let those worries control us. It is certainly a multi-layered piece.
There are some unexpected elements, owing largely to how this came out very early in Gen5's run such that some characters barely had any real characterization. I didn't watch enough Gen5 to get a solid grasp of this, but if the comments are anything to go by it sounds like mushroom captured Zipp and Sunny very well, and they certainly nailed Twilight and Rainbow. They also throw in some asides that I'm not sure are true canonically, such as the statement that magic has not returned universally. I suppose we could make the argument that this story is filled with a lot of pre-canon worldbuilding?
I have to admit that this one didn't manage to thrill me like so many other stories in mushroom's library. It's very well written, as can be expected, but I found myself unable to relate with the problem being brought up. I fully acknowledge this to be a subjective issue though, and thus something readers should take with a grain of salt.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Symbiosis
9,669 Words
By mushroompone
Once, long ago, the changelings and the kirin were best friends, enjoying a somewhat symbiotic relationship. Rain Shine and King Thorax would like to put the two races back on friendly terms, and so a conference is held in neutral Equestria with Twilight Sparkle as the mediator. The goal: select Friendship Ambassadors from each race who will then devise the nature of this new international exchange. Naturally, Rain Shine chooses Autumn Blaze to represent the kirin. King Thorax’s selection, however, is… unexpected.
The first thing to acknowledge is that this is an AU in which Chrysalis actually accepted Starlight Glimmer’s offer of reformation. Unlike the other changelings though, she didn’t undergo a transformation that makes her look like a foal puked up colored ink all over her. She has since been living in a cave far away from every other creature, friendless and grouchy, and most creatures are perfectly happy to leave her there.
Now imagine this bitter, defeated, sour Chrysalis trapped in a room with Autumn Blaze, whom she is expected to forge international relations with, for hours. For the record, Autumn Blaze isn’t too enthusiastic about the situation herself.
This was a lot of fun for a lot of reasons, although I’ll admit it mostly has to do with my undying pleasure of seeing a well-characterized Chrysalis in action. Whatever the situation, villain or anti-hero, when handled well she will always be a fun character to watch. Not that Autumn Blaze is any slouch in this story. Far from it! These two go at one another like hissing cats, one seriously misinterpreting the whole point of this meeting and the other trying not to let the nirik out.
I think my favorite part of the story is the way mushroom foreshadowed the climax. This foreshadowing happens often, but in a way that makes perfect sense and always advances the ongoing conversation to its next stage.
I don’t quite buy the conclusion. Not to say that anything about the scenario was easy for either of them, but it honestly felt like the final event wasn’t yet earned by either of them. A great turning point? Absolutely, but not that great. It seems to me like this should have been the start of a journey, not the whole thing.
Even so, I greatly enjoyed this one, it’s easily my favorite of the lineup so far (NOTE: also one of the earliest). If you like either Chrysalis or Autumn Blaze or just want to see this unlikely duo in action, then I strongly recommend it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Threshold
59,447 Words
By mushroompone
In a quiet little town in the San Palomino desert, Rarity exists. That's really the best she could call it. She no longer creates or inspires or dreams. She's stuck in this nowhere, spending all her time trying to keep her stallion happy enough to not face another beating. What is she even living for anymore? Perhaps she'll find out... when Rainbow Dash drops by for a visit.
Talk about an ambitious piece for a starter story! Threshold is the first story mushroompone ever released on FIMFiction, and it shows in how unpolished the writing is. Repetitive word use, homophones, typos, they're all just present enough to be a bother. Fortunately, the story is strong enough to make them a footnote.
Said story involves Rarity in a... state. It's really hard to place anything at the start of the story, although it can quickly be gathered that she's moved to a no-name town with her coltfriend Nightwhisper, who turns out to be a violent, mare-abusing bastard who has literally and figuratively beaten Rarity down so much that she lives in constant terror of doing even the faintest thing that might spark his no-fuse temper. I'll be honest, this bit offended me; the very idea that Rarity could wind up in this kind of toxic relationship stands against everything I've come to know her to be. I cannot imagine how it is even possible for her to wind up in such a situation. But I bore with it because A) I have a "finish what you start" rule, B) this is mushroompone so I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, and C) I really wanted to know what the deal was with all the other whack stuff that was going on.
What "whack stuff", you ask? Well, it's like there's something wrong with the world. Or with Rarity? It was hard to say. Time seems to warp, with her at one moment in the apartment above Nightwhisper's gas station and then at the Open Doors Diner and then standing in the middle of the desert, every transition with no explanation or clear cause. And then there's the shopping center that keeps appearing, almost like a ghost unto itself. And then Rainbow Dahs starts to show up, but only briefly, appearing and disappearing in instants that her characteristic speed can't explain. It's all so very confusing.
Eventually, something akin to the facts comes out: Rarity is stuck in some sort of time-warped version of reality. Rainbow Dash has come from a future – note, a future – in an effort to rescue her. Rarity is locked at the – wait for it – Threshold of time in which a great many timelines may converge and branch off from one another. As such, her world is nebulous, herself warping through time and space seemingly at random. She becomes convinced that she needs to solve a local mystery in order to break out of this and start time along a proper path.
It's hard to predict this one. The entire story is told from Rarity's perspective, and her mind is fractured from abuse and confusion; to say she's an unreliable narrator is putting it mildly. Rainbow knows something but won't fess up, and I get the distinct impression that the Rainbow Dash we keep seeing isn't necessarily appearing in her own chronological order (and indeed, there’s a chance it may not even be the same Rainbow Dash, although I don’t think that’s the case). While it often struck me as clear that Rarity wasn't on the right track, it was impossible to determine what the right track actually was.
Then Twilight Sparkle comes along to throw a monkey wrench the size of a shopping center in the mix. As Twilight Sparkles do.
This started off extremely confusing, but with every chapter we gradually narrow a little closer to the truth. The conclusion was great in many ways, but also requires that the audience really practice their reading comprehension skills to understand exactly what happened and why. The concept is hugely ambitious – always a big plus for me – but I worry that it'll scare a lot of readers away with its incomprehensible early narrative. One must be patient and accept that they will eventually reach a proper if not wholly clear explanation for the WTF-ery. Despite the opening ideas of Rarity's situation – which I still view as bullshit – both her and Rainbow are very well characterized and have clear, endearing growth from start to finish. The theme relating to the necessity of change is complex and I question how well it is supported by the overarching story, or perhaps how well readers will be able to detect it before it is overtly called out in the final chapter.
This was complex and strange, but generally quite good. It definitely has its issues, mostly related to the slow and confusing start and how tricky the plot is to follow. These things and the unrefined nature of the writing itself are strong indicators of this being an early mushroompone fic, yet the ambition, unique concept, powerful character moments and solid conclusion are signs of the author's skill. I came away enjoying it quite a bit, with the caveat that I'm not sure of its reach.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Bonus Review: Down Among the Sticks and Bones
187 Pages
By Seanan McGuire
Sequel to Every Heart a Doorway
Published 2017
Alternate Title: There is No Love Like Hate
Chester and Serena Wolcott were the last kind of people who should have children, so it seems only fitting that fate would grant them twins. Twin girls, to be exact, named Jacqueline and Jillian. Their solution was to mold those twins into the perfect images that would bring praise and seemliness and prestige to their parents. Chester and Serena are perfectly happy about this. Jacqueline and Jillian, not so much. So when a Door opens up before the two twelve-year-old girls, they leap at the chance to do something their parents wouldn’t approve of for once. How perfectly happy the Moors were to welcome them…
Every Heart a Doorway was a fun story about kids with extremely weird backstories and habits working together to solve a murder mystery. Down Among the Sticks and Bones is not that. It is, in fact, nothing at all like its predecessor. Heart had its dark moments, for certain, but Sticks & Bones is a whole other species of beast. Oh, and it’s also a prequel rather than a sequel.
The first third of the story follows the everyday lives of Jacqueline and Jillian Wolcott and how their parents raised them. It is not a pleasant story, despite Seanan McGuire’s frequent and regular use of delicious wit. From the very beginning, the parents saw their children as nothing more than tools to enhance their prestige and popularity amongst their peers. Thus is Jacqueline forced to live as mother’s little princess, to be polite and prim and clean and pretty, while Jillian is expected to be father's athletic tomboy, to be rough and rowdy and loud and dirty. What Jacqueline and Jillian want is not just of no concern, it isn’t even a passing thought.
Then, when they are twelve, a Door opens where one never stood before. The twins are in the mood to be a little rebellious, so they enter it. This leads them to The Moors, a world were gothic horror is not just real, it’s the norm. They soon get caught in what might be considered a political battle between the Master – a vampire who owns a village and castle – and Dr. Bleak – a Frankenstein-esque mad scientist. In the end, Jillian chooses to live with the Master and Jacqueline with Dr. Bleak.
We watch as Jacqueline grows more and more stoic and (more than anything) sterile, learning to live under the harsh tutelage of Dr. Bleak and becoming something of a mad scientist herself. But Dr. Bleak, despite being weird, is not really villainous. He helps people. He heals, he nurtures, he studies and, if possible, he revives. More to the point, he raises Jack. Perhaps he doesn’t love her, but he proves time and time again that he cares, both for her wellbeing and her happiness. So when Jack falls in love with a local village girl, he makes no effort to stop it. Jack is clever and smart and hardworking. She’ll be fine.
The Master is not human, and he is not Dr. Bleak. He is a vampire, and he cares only for that which he can possess. Vampires do not share, and they do not abide disobedience. He gives Jill everything she could possibly want. All he asks is her obedience, her blood, and eternity. Though we never witness it directly, it is clear that he’s feeding on her at various times throughout the story, and she is perfectly fine with it. She also knows that when she turns eighteen, he will make her into a vampire as well. Jill is smart and hardworking… but she is not clever, and so has no idea that she’s walking a tightrope where the slightest mistake could put an end to the Master’s good graces.
In many ways, this is a story about the seemingly eternal bond shared between Jack and Jill. But this bond is a difficult one, fraught with struggles far beyond anything you might find in a typical sibling relationship. As children they were united in a mutual desire to survive their parents, but in the Moors they are separate, and their individual raising by Dr. Bleak and the Master puts them at odds. Their actions here don’t just impact themselves, but also the people of the Moors. Frequently we will hear of villagers sacrificed to the Drowned Gods, or of werewolves stalking prey outside the village walls. The citizens live in stark terror of the Master, knowing that speaking the wrong words, looking in the wrong direction, even the crime of being in the wrong person’s presence at the wrong time can lead to disappearances. Jack is aware of the dangers; they allow her to grow up. Jill is not allowed to grow up, so to her the danger is only what happens to everyone else.
Eventually, Jack and Jill will have to clash. It will be a horrifying, bloody affair. And yet, despite the fact that the things done should drive them to hate one another – and they do – they are still sisters.
Does all of this sound dark and gloomy? It is, most certainly. Which is why the narrative plays an important role in keeping things from going off the deep end. Seanan maintains a continuous effort to insert charm, wit, and a certain tongue-in-cheek humor into the writing style. The narration at times laments what could have been, eyes sadly the reasons behind what is going on, and makes sure we understand that the Moors are an unpleasant, dangerous place. And yet, somehow, it does so in a way that might make you smile.
It may help to have a thing for dark comedy.
I greatly enjoyed this one, and not just because it stars my beloved Jack Wolcott from the first book. Every Heart had its dark moments and its charming moments, but could be summed up as a rather simple whodunit murder mystery with a weird backdrop. Sticks & Bones, on the other hand, is complex. The story thrives on reminding us that children are not as simple as we make them out to be, and how they grow up stems from a great variety of factors. Their terrible parentage, their brief reprieve under their kindly grandmother, the harsh Moors, the varying nature of their caretakers, and Jack’s discovery of what it means to love and be human (as opposed to her sister) all come together to create a vivid painting of who these girls are and how they came upon their peculiar quirks. The end result is some beautiful character work.
Was this a better story than Hearts? I suppose that will depend upon what you’re looking for, but for my interests it’s a definite and absolute yes. I still love Jack as a character. Jill, while less interesting to me on the whole and arguably one of the story’s villains, was no slouch herself this time. The dark comedy appeals to me, the fantastic world is fully realized in delightful clarity, and character growth is phenomenal. I do not expect anything that comes after in this series to top this, but I will keep reading anyway just to find out.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Every Heart a Doorway — WHYRTY?
Where the Drowned Girls Go — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Time:
Trixie Will Not Be Ignored by Lighttone GryphonStar
Want her need her by mokaevans
Proof Of Concept by Estee
The Worst of Mentions by BlazzingInferno
Another monday by Momoi Taro
Bloody Bones by Arkensaw Pinkerton
The Concubine, or How Luna Got Her Groove Back by Ivory Piano
Double Solitary by Casketbase77
Moonstone by Loyal
Snip by Snip by ThunderChaserCreate
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Love Cold in Gardez's work. Haven't heard much from him as of late, more's the pity.
Despite being a fan of mushroompone, haven’t read any of these fics!
Suppose a fair shake of his resume does bleed into genres (often dark ones) not quite to my taste. But glad to see the man get a spotlight, he absolutely deserves. Even if little of this selection was stellar (possibly because you’ve covered many of his best works already, including at least three WHYRTY?), doesn’t take away from that. This’ll be a great bonus for him on top of his recent good news (if anyone’s curious, check his blog)
I love that pic :D
Oh my gosh! So many kind words! I always feel honored to have such a positive reputation precede me, and so seen to hear reviewers talk about my work here as a “career”. I've also spent a lot of time thinking about my improvement over the years, and I feel like it's really been captured here :)
As other reviewers have said, the bulk of my pieces are small, safe, and generally positive - many of them the result of speedwriting contests or other challenges with intensive restrictions. A lot of those pieces ended up in this batch. While a part of me was hoping you would pick only the meatier stuff, the rest of me knew that was impossible hahaha. Reading these reviews reminded me how fun those little stories were to write in a flurry and toss up here. I honestly need to get back to a place where I feel good about posting those! I think momentum counts for a lot when it comes to motivation.
Speaking of momentum, I am SO happy to hear you enjoyed Laws of Motion. I know you're quite the connoisseur of sci-fi, so the praise means a lot to me. That was a piece I was really proud to post, and I think it's really going to be the doorway into a new era of writing for me. Or at least I hope it will!! I was also pleasantly surprised to see that you got something out of Threshold. As an older fic, I have a tendency to look down on it, but reading this review reminded me of the gem inside. I've thought lots of times over the years about rewriting this piece, but I think it would end up being fundamentally different if I wrote it today. I feel like that says something about the nature of art and time. If anyone figures out what it is, let me know.
The craziest thing about seeing all of these reviews put together is the frequency of “change” as a theme. I don't think I realized just how often my stories boil down to “change is hard, and doesn't always happen the way we want, but good things can come from it if we let them.” I absolutely believe it - I just didn't realize how hard I was putting it out there!
I also just want to take a moment to appreciate you and everything you do. I've followed your reviews for probably ten years now and spent MANY hours exploring your sheets. The effort you've put into keeping this up so cleanly and professionally for that long is astounding. You really make fimfic a better place.
Thank you again for taking the time to read my work - it means the world to me!
Alas, I knew I wouldn't have any notes to compare this week as I know I've never had occasion to read anything by the featured author. And yet I feel I have. Maybe he's contributed to the Flashfic 150, because I have the impression I've read his work there. I've read a lot by CiG, but not the foray into adult stuff. I can't remember whether this was the first one of those, but he spent several years going that direction. Personal taste, but that's just not a genre I want to read in ponyfic.
"mushroompone"... sounds like she'd be a pretty fungi.
I'll wear my helmet.
Ah, mushroompone. A long-time inspiration for me, and the source of a few stories where I am like, "Damn, I wish I wrote that!" She's a great author, through and through - happy to see her get the spotlight!
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It's a quieter pone world today, I guess. But yeah, CiG usually manages to deliver.
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Is it that I've already read the cream of mushroom's crop, or is it that the ones I've read just so happened to be in my genre wheelhouse (often dark ones) and thus more likely to receive a positive response?
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It was either this one or a pic of Woona being adorable with a mushroom stuck on her horn. The choice was a difficult one.
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It's possible, mushroom apparently had a thing for short fiction contests back in the day.
I specifically chose to read this CiG fic because of its rating. I was very curious to see how he'd handle that kind of thing.
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I've been in a scheduling crunch for some time now trying to get past a bottleneck I've long known was coming, which is the primary reason I didn't go for the "meatier stuff". I made Threshold an exception because it was your first FIMfic and I very much wanted to read it (a decision I don't regret on the reading side, but am indeed regretting from the schedule side).
I too miss the days when I would throw out shorts for contests. I enter them so very rarely these days. Heck, I write so very rarely these days it seems. Here's hoping we can both get back into that groove!
I am?
Huh. I never really considered myself as having taken a particular interest in it. But then, I'm always more willing to read it than I am to write it, as I consider it one of my weakest genres. But now that you bring it up, it dawns upon me that I have read and commented on a lot of science fiction, haven't I? The things we don't recognize in ourselves...
A rewrite of Threshold, eh? That sounds like it would be quite the read. You're right though, it probably would be a whole new fic in a lot of ways (he says having done a total rewrite once himself). I bet it would still come out great though. I wholeheartedly encourage it should you ever find yourself struck with one of those random, frustratingly welcome bouts of ambition.
You know, I kinda-sorta missed this myself? Like, I obviously saw it in every fic, but for some reason I didn't make the connection that it was a recurring theme for you specifically. Talk about an oversight on my part! Oh well, we are all imperfect creatures.
Aww, thanks! At this point doing the reviews is so much of a habit that on the rare instances where I take off from them I feel disturbed by the lack of it. I keep telling myself to get off (or rather, on) my butt and make a dedicated, personalize review website and maybe turn this into its own thing. The only things stopping me is A) to get exactly what I want either requires hiring someone else to make it or learning a coding language, both of which have their major downsides, and B) I'm not sure such a website would thrive today when search AI like Google's or Bing's will just throw the review's summary up in front of people without them ever clicking on said site. So right now I stick to FIMFiction, where comments like these make me feel appreciated.
In the meantime, congrats to you, Doctor Mush! It feels oddly serendipitous to know that this blog and your defense happened in such close proximity to one another.
That a story was requested by me seems to have once again gotten lost in the great sea of Paul's sheets files.
Neverthenonetheless, I'm glad you got so much out of Salvation. Very glad I managed to nab the physical print.
As I said in a comment underneath the story, I am great lover of it, as the eternal CiG fanboy I am. Though I'm consistently bugged by the up-to-season-five after-the-fact edits he added - it's a story perfectly set within season two's canon, both tonally and in terms of worldbuilding. I can see the mares from season two eventually splitting up their friend group down the line. Our Mane Six as of the beginning of season five? Not so much. The story also did some really interesting exploration of things such as the cultural differences between pony races that just don't mesh with what we know of Equestria circa Twilight's Kindgom. Plus the castle and Twilight being a princess clearly being afterthoughts, and a bunch of other stuff - all of it just comes off as bizarre to me in a story that just feels so deeply season two - both in universe and in line with what the fandom was like at the time. And it doesn't feel very worth it considering it gets clobbered by inconsistency with canon before season five even finishes.
But hey, small potatoes for what is otherwise an incredible project. I certainly agree with all your praises. And while it may not have convinced you of the glory of RariDash, it was the fic that opened me up to the possibility, and the pairing has since become my favourite Mane Six twosome, whether romantically or platonically. I just believe that at the very core of their beings, they have a lot in common, and can recognize something in each other that they never could with the rest of the cast. And Salvation is an incredible argument as to this.
(Well, it on top of PapierSam's stuff, honestly - the majority of his library is slice-of-life platonic RariDash, usually EqG, and I love it to death. I know you've read a bit of his stuff before, but hey, worth revisiting someday)
Also, one of the cooler realizations I got to have about Salvation was the fact that the pony in the cover art could be one of multiple characters, something you don't get to realize until deep into the story.
Paul,
Thanks for the review, and especially for the willingness to read through a 155k word story! Salvation was the first really long story I ever attempted, and certainly including the mature material made it feel like a big risk. Overall, though, I think it has one of the most meaningful stories I've managed to tell about the value of love and the obligation we have toward our family and friends. It was also a chance to engage in some fun world-building, which is always a joy.
I have a few more long ones still that I don't believe you've read, though whether I'll ever finish my longest one is an open question. Maybe when I finish my current non-pony projects.
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We just keep intersecting lately! The only story of these that I've read was "Laws of Motion," which absolutely earns its place as one of the best stories published in the past year. However, my favorite story of yours is one that Paul missed -- The Head, which simply has to be read to be believed.
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I'm still around, just busy with other projects :o
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Well I'm glad to hear from you and I'm glad you're doing alright.
Awesome choice of an author to spotlight! Mushroom's amazing!
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There's a good chance I'll get to them eventually, although how long that will take is anyone's guess.
Ack-tually...
I was about to add Laws of Motion to my RiL list, but I discovered that I'd already done so.
The three here I've already read are Debt to Society (liked a lot), Sun in an Empty Room and Symbiosis (also liked, just not quite as much). I still wonder whether I'd have nudged the latter into the "liked a lot" category had I not been less interested in kirin than about 98% of the fandom...
I keep meaning to read Salvation, and maybe this will nudge me a little further in the direction of actually doing so. It intrigues me, not least because most people who've read it seem like you to be generally very impressed, but iisaw (whose opinion I also greatly respect) really doesn't like it. One day I'll get around to it.
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Good question. Certainly mushroompone is a member of the Flashfic 150 group (joined about five years ago), but I can't recall whether they've ever actually entered one of the contests.
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Ah, I missed that! I'm glad to see your review lived up to my hopes, though :)
ok. muchos hongos, lo revisare
As God and Faust intended